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Reviews
I Saw the TV Glow (2024)
Dull and juvenile.
I Saw the TV Glow is a boring, bloated mess of a film that lacks scares, substance, emotional depth, and any element of suspense. It feels like a half-hour supernatural young adult television show, painfully slowed down to make it a 100-minute feature film.
I had been looking forward to watching it, expecting it to be an original horror film that appeals to adults and mature teens, despite the pg-13 rating. I was sorely mistaken, and ended up very disappointed. Recommended only for middle-school age children who are fans of the new Goosebumps series. Otherwise, you would do well to avoid this overhyped stinker.
The Munsters (2022)
Fantastic family-friendly fright flick.
I really like Rob Zombie. But when I saw the trailer for The Munsters, I was horrified. And not in a good way. I thought it looked like a real piece of dog excrement. But when it became available on Netflix, I figured what the hell... I don't have to pay to watch it, and since I am a Rob Zombie fan, I'm willing to risk an hour and forty five minutes to see if it's any good. And as it turns out, it's pretty good! I mean, it's no House of 1000 Corpses, but with a PG rating, what do you expect? If you liked the 90's Addams Family movies, I think this will be right up your alley. If you have kids, and you want to introduce them to Rob Zombie's weirdness, in a kid friendly way, then you can't go wrong with The Munsters. If you want a blood and guts gore fest, well, I think you already know this ain't it. It's cute, funny in a cheesy way, and has a weird color scheme that resembles a colorized version of an old black and white film. Go for it. What have you got to lose?
The Mean One (2022)
A great silly horror rendition of The Grinch
Kristle Martin is wonderful as Cindy, and her character is both tough and adorable. David Howard Thornton, of Terrifier fame, is perfectly cast as the furry green "monster". He absolutely nails the grinchy body language that we know from the classic story.
I rated The Mean One 10/10 not because it's a great work of art (of course it's not), but because it is perfect as what it is intended to be. A fun, silly, gory twist on a beloved holiday classic. The production values are much higher than most horror-comedies that rip off well known stories. In fact, I wouldn't even call this one a rip-off. It definitely pays its respects. Although I seriously doubt Dr. Seuss would approve of the film, it has plenty of Easter eggs that should please his fans. Some are more obvious than others. See how many you can find!
Mortal Kombat (2021)
Mortal Kombat wins! FATALITY!!
Mortal Kombat is a movie for fans of the video game series, particularly the first three arcade games from the 1990's. It is everything the two 1995 MK films should have been: Violent and bloody, with spectacular visuals. And it is largely faithful to MK canon. The plot may be slightly less accessible to those unfamiliar with the storyline of the video games, but it should be mostly understandable and enjoyable even to non-gamers. Most films adapted from video games fall flat. This is not one of them. FINISH HIM!!
Mil gritos tiene la noche (1982)
AMAZING journey into the mind of a psychopath.
PIECES gives the viewer a rarely seen glimpse into the mind of a depraved killer. As a psychologist, I found this documentary quite fascinating. It raises many questions about why serial killers behave the way they do. Why would a person want to kill and dismember young women and collect their body parts? You will find out in the shocking conclusion of this film, but I will will not post any spoilers here. You should watch PIECES and see for yourself.
Great fun for the whole family! Gather the little ones around the t.v. set for this delightful tale of a young boy's quest to complete a jigsaw puzzle. When his mother interrupts his fun with her shenanigans, hilarity ensues! You'll crack up over the "skateboard" scene! And if the "women's locker room" and "waterbed" scenes don't just make you wet yourself, the surprise ending will leave you in stitches! But don't expect me to go into any details here. Buy a copy of PIECES for yourself, and prepare for a delightful cut-up of a movie.
A Haunted House (2013)
Not worth renting with a Redbox coupon.
A Haunted House was a terrible movie. It had a few (very far between) cheap laughs. Most of the jokes fell flat and the gags were lame and stupid. And I don't mean stupid-funny. I mean stupid as in rolling your eyes and wondering why the film makers expected this to make you laugh. Most of the film parodied the blockbuster horror smash Paranormal Activity, and also contains a few poorly done spoofs of iconic scenes from other well known horror movies.
If you're looking for a decent horror spoof, I recommend picking up Scary Movie 5 instead. It's not a great movie either, but it's Oscar material compared to this stink bomb.