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Sam & Kate (2022)
Sam & Kate
Just watched it and it's lovely. Nothing groundbreaking, but on the other hand, one could say they don't make films like this any longer, unfortunately.
It's a simple story and yes, there are a couple of clichés, but it's still refreshing. Do you know why? There is a man and a woman, and they fall in love. No propaganda whatsoever. How sad is it that this kind of story is such a rarity these days?
One annoying downside is that it is marketed as a romantic comedy, which it is not. There is one character who is there for comic relief, I guess, but he is not funny.
Dustin Hoffman is fantastic. He is one of my favourite actors ever. It hurts to see him getting so old...
La migliore offerta (2013)
All pretence, no... anything.
This comes off as an "intellectual" film these days? This movie is praised as "sophisticated" and "elegant"? I weep for humanity. Is there anyone well-educated and well-red left in the West? Is there anyone with a good taste left there?
It's anything but.
It's a fake of a film. It's phoney. It's contrived. It's unconvincing. It's inauthentic (yes, I'm talking to you, the person who wrote this script!)
And FYI, no one wants to see Geoffrey Rush in some of the scenes, you know what I mean.
The only things I enjoyed seeing were the beautiful works of art we have to pretend we don't know.
WHat a waste of time and money.
The Phantom of the Open (2021)
Sugar-free sweets
It's a sweet film with zero agenda, I mean, no gays, no transgender people, no zoophiles, which is crazy in this day and age. That's not its only strength, though. It's such a sweet story without being too sugary, and the main characters are so genuine, and yes, I was going "He is lowering the bar" in the first half of the film, but I was cheering for him in the second half. It's not about sports. It's about equality, genuine equality, not taking from normal people to give to perverts. It's about the working class and genuine good people. And that is what is being discriminated against now. Go Maurices of the world!
Julia (2022)
I was hoping for clean old-fashioned charm... Alas
Stopped watching on episode 5. Hollyweird keeps pushing its disgusting propaganda everywhere, nothing is safe. Julia Child must be turning in her grave.
After Love (2020)
Joanna Scanlan...
...is wonderful. The story is simple and would be good had they not pushed agenda in here. Even movies about Muslims are not safe any longer. And they include children AGAIN. Your children's minds and souls are already corrupted. You're already paying for it. Look around.
Turning Red (2022)
I new Disney would ruin Pixar
I don't even feel like explaining everything that's wrong about this movie. The two main points are: (a) it's boring, really, really boring; and (b) it sends a bad message to kids. The latter is right for everything Americans have produced lately. Even when they're Chinese.
The French Dispatch of the Liberty, Kansas Evening Sun (2021)
He is getting blasé indeed
I love Wes Anderson's aesthetic. This one does not disappoint visually. The story, or stories to be exact, are lacking. Lacking heart, soul, and even theme. The first story, The Concrete Masterpiece, is the best one, it could have been developed into a film that would be better than this anthology. Then it all goes downhill. A major disappointment for me is that Anderson sold out, or was he forced to do it? Or maybe he wants to win a major award, which is impossible nowadays unless one bends over backwards for the deviant? One of the reasons I loved his films was that there was no agenda. It was a wonderful little world. Until now.
Délicieux (2021)
Potatoes and the Revolution
Cinematography is the strongest aspect of this film. Some scenes look like paintings by Dutch Golden Age or Flemish Baroque artists. I had to pause several times to admire the tables tastefully laid with food. However, the main focus of the plot is not on food, like most of the reviewers seem to think. It shows the viewer why revolutions happen. Up until the rather stupid, highly unrealistic Hollywood-style happy ending. I guess the ending is the reason the film is listed as a comedy? Which it is not.
A Christmas Story (1983)
A classic? This?
Finally finished watching this film. Had to hit pause so many times. How it got its cult status is beyond me. I didn't find it funny or charming or clever. Quite the opposite, actually. It was already bad, and then to make it a hundred times worse, there was the extremely racist scene at the restaurant. Way to finish with a fart.
Nomadland (2020)
It's OK, but
Finally got to watch this and of course it has left me wondering why this is the film you Muricans are pissing yourselves about. I mean, it's OK. One big advantage it' s not a stupid comic Hollywood's been spewing out for the last... I think it's been over ten years now. Wow. No wonder people are craving normal human stories. But it's nothing special. Or are you impressed they quote Shakespeare and that automatically means it's an "intellectual" film? Oof . I pity the fools. Do yourself a service and watch some European cinema. Soviet cinema is a must. If you are so brainwashed the previous sentence scared you, too bad, you will never understand good cinema.
The Hustle (2019)
Find the difference
Wow. All those people complaining about the "ridiculous script" and moaning how this remake "butchered" the original. It's the same film. I'm not a maniac who learnt the 1988 film by heart, but I've seen it, and in places the remake is word-for-word identical. The only difference is the stars are women. That's what you're bellyaching about. Just because they're women they "ruined" the film for you. Seriously. And the "not all men" army, just don't.
The Tomorrow War (2021)
LOL
This film is so ridiculously stupid I actually laughed out loud half the time. The more dramatic they tried to be, the funnier it was. Well, thanks for the laugh I guess, but that's not why I sat down to watch it. I hear they're planning to make a sequel? Oof. What a waste of money. I swear Hollywood could cure cancer if they donated half the money they waste on making such idiotic flicks for clinical research. I don't know how these people don't die of embarrassment thinking about their life work. I mean it's literally their life work. Oh dear.
Corner Gas (2004)
Lovely
Such a great series. It's very funny and at the same time gentle and pure. No agenda whatsoever, which is so rare and precious at this day and age. I also enjoyed seeing First Nations actors, and I liked it that they were just actors and characters like everybody else without being turned into some sort of tokens. That is what equality is.
John Wick (2014)
I weep for humanity
What a steaming pile. The storyline is non-existent. The main character is a psycho killer who nevertheless is presented as some kind of hero. What? Boohoo, he had a puppy. So? How does that make him a good person? Hitler was a dog lover, for your information. And don't get me started on "bad Russians". Yes, we know how Hollywood brainwashes Americans into believing foreigners are bad guys, especially Russians, of course, Russians who never started a war in all of history, unlike American "peacemakers" who have already destroyed half of the world and aren't going to stop. That's not even the worst here. Can't you do the tiniest bit of research? How ignorant and lazy are you? The Russian language is horrendous as usual, but Baba Yaga! It's the stupidest thing, but I'm sure Hollywood can break this record. Baba Yaga is an old witch who lives in the woods in a hut with a chicken leg!
I can't believe the amount of money wasted in Hollywood on manure like this. You should spend this money on your education and healthcare systems.
Retfærdighedens ryttere (2020)
Men revelling in violence. Again.
Oh those misleading trailers. OK the first 10 minutes were quite engaging, but then it was the old "we don't care about the story, we want to kill people". These film-makers need way more than 4,00 hours of therapy. The central character is horrendous. We are supposed to sympathise with him, really? He's a cold-blooded murderer. By the way, I was unpleasantly surprised that Denmark participates in this NATO BS too - invading other countries, killing civilians there, controlling their resources, organising colour revolutions, forming terrorist groups. And this murderer brainwashes his daughter into atheism between killing sprees.
After all this, the idyllic finale celebrating Christmas, really? Why are they not in prison?
Oh, and I see the Danish are as ignorant about anything that doesn't directly concern them as Americans. And they can't be bothered to do the smallest bit of research. I mean that Ukrainian boy with an idiotic non-existent name, of course. The only time I laughed watching this film was when he was telling a "Ukrainian legend" about a woman with another idiotic name, who is from Vitebsk, which is in Belarus. Do they not study geography in Denmark? Do they not teach children to verify information? That's just lazy and even offensive because it shows how much they don't care about the rest of the world.
The most important question is HOW is it a comedy? Is the fact they thought it wasn't an accident and consequently killed at least a dozen people but in fact it was an accident so funny? It's a cruel irony, but I wanted to see a comedy.
Luca (2021)
Predictable but very sweet
I've just watched it, and I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. The story is simple with lots of clichés, but somehow makes you happy. You feel the happiness you last felt when you were little, everybody was alive, and you didn't have a care in the world. And you sit there thinking "what a beautiful world we live in", despite everything humans have done. Your life is accomplished if you've had one friend. If you've listened to music, danced, swum in the sea, and slept under the "fish" even just once. It is so worth it.
BrainDead (2016)
Of course they cancelled it
I'm amazed they let them made 13 episodes of this clever show. Of course, it's obvious they couldn't do everything they wanted to, they wouldn't let them, even with the "sci-fi comedy" cover. If you want to know how politics works, watch this.
Sometimes Always Never (2018)
Lovely
I love films like this one. No violence. No perverts. No agenda of any kind. Just people. It's about us, simple lives underlined by a tragedy - there's always one, or more. People trying to make the best of it. There's some great acting, and visually the film is a treat, with hellos from Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Wes Anderson. True, it's not paradigm-shifting, it's not earth-shattering, but I'm so glad films like this are still made. Hope to see more from the director.
Knives Out (2019)
Overrated
I can't understand why everyone is pissing themselves about this film. It's a standard Agatha Christie-wannabe mystery, but with a mystery missing. You know who the murderer is basically from the beginning (provided you have a functional brain), and the rest is a snooze-fest. Took me three evenings to finish it, and those evenings were months apart, and that was only because I don't like to leave things unfinished. The acting, I regret to say, was not great either. I was only glad to see this actor, what's his name, the Captain America one - can't be bothered to look him up - playing a baddie, because he has a negative charisma, if any, I don't know how they choose him to play all positive cartoon characters, although let's be honest, he's no Anthony Hopkins, it's dumb luck (hi Hollywood) he's an actor at all. I'm giving some points to this "piece of art" *sarcasm sign* only for a couple of visually pleasant shots and a couple of actors who know how to act, you know who they are.
Last Christmas (2019)
A waste of time
Wasted almost two hours on this steaming pile. It's so stupid. The writing is just bad, I mean I love Emma Thompson but maybe she should stick to acting. And don't get me started on the Yugoslavia nonsense! Why, why do Westerners insist on portraying other cultures and nations they know nothing about? And it's not just that they don't know, they don't want to know! Because it's beneath them, the great offspring of the great British Empire *sarcasm sign*, because the fact they descended from said empire automatically makes them experts on every subject in the Universe. They always do this, would it kill them to hire a consultant? Hey, if you don't want a consultant, literally thirty second of Googling will show you what a fat-headed ignoramus you are. And may I remind you who destroyed Yugoslavia? Who bombed it?
NB: I am not from former Yugoslavia, I am just not an uneducated nincompoop.
Priklyucheniya Sherloka Kholmsa i doktora Vatsona: Sobaka Baskerviley (1981)
The best Sherlock Holmes film ever
This is my favourite episode of the brilliant series featuring the best Holmes and Watson of all adaptations. It's engaging, spooky, mysterious, heart-warming, and absolutely hilarious. I've seen it at least a dozen times and still laugh out loud. The attention to detail is amazing, everything is perfect: the interiors, the costumes, the music - oh, the music is wonderful! There are no small roles here: Barrymore, Mrs Hudson, Dr Mortimer, even the dogs are fantastic. An absolute must-see.
The Nice Guys (2016)
Awful
How does this waste of time and money have such a high rating? People are idiots. Hurray for mindless violence and four-letter words that pass for humour today.
You know, the Soviet Union had expert boards that decided if a film was good enough to show it to the audience, and Soviet cinema was the best in the history of cinema. Film studios should think about that.
Dead Like Me (2003)
Could be great
I like the premise, the plot, the whole story - oh, don't forget the music! - but the actors are either bad or very bad, especially the lead. This series would be AMAZING with a different cast. Such a shame. I hope the person who was in charge of casting for DLM isn't working on TV anymore.
In Your Eyes (2014)
Interesting concept, awful execution
This is the last straw, I'm done with reviews on this site - there are too many fake ones. I know, what an irony writing a review saying that. Anyway, the premise is fascinating, unfortunately, with a very bland result. Everything from acting to cinematography is lacking. Shame, it could have been a great movie.
The Wife (2017)
Watch it for Glenn Close
Glenn Close is what makes this film. She is absolutely mesmerising, I literally forgot to blink when she was on screen. Without her it would be very mediocre. The boy who plays the son is awful, again - this is the second time I've seen him acting alongside Glenn Close, what is happening? Are they related? Also, I wish the plot summaries posted everywhere hadn't spoiled the main twist, who thought it was a good idea?