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Reviews
The Wheel of Time (2021)
Non-book reader, fantasy enthusiast, who is enjoying the ride.
If you're a fan of Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones and Shadow and Bone, then this should be right up your alley. It's kinda a mishmash of all 3, in a good way.
The cinematography is great. The acting is mostly good, with some small gripes here and there. For a TV series budget, the CGI looks surprisingly good.
They kinda throw a lot (of lore) at you at once and you just gotta run with knowing it's gonna be more explained down the road (hopefully), but there's a ton of context clues to draw from with most of it.
With 14 (holy smokes!) novels to draw material from, and a complete story with an ending, they won't run into the issue that GoT did with running out of material or how to end it. Definitely looking forward to see where this all goes.
Well worth your time so far.
Foundation (2021)
Wide as the ocean, deep as a puddle.
I'm not too familiar with the source material so this review is going off strictly what I've watched.
The pilot episode was pretty good, there were some small hiccups here and there, but I didn't see them as red flags right away. Then the next two episodes came and boy oh boy I shoulda saw the warning.
The dialogue sounds absolutely nothing like how normal people talk to each other. The script is just really terrible. The story line kinda jumps around with zero explanation of how major changes that took place off camera came to be.
The acting is really hit or miss. Some are legitimately great, especially considering what they were given to work with. But the bad performances are even worse for the same reason.
All in all, it's gorgeous eye candy with a whole lot of foundational (pun intended) flaws.
The Outsider (2020)
A bait and switch at it's worst.
The majority of these high score reviews are for the first couple of episodes. Like many others have pointed out, they are absolutely fantastic. Ben Mendelsohn and Jason Bateman knock it out of the park.
Episode 3 is where the bait and switch happens. Jason Bateman directed the first 2 episodes and then never came back to do any others. It was a carousal of different directors after that point.
The pacing, dialogue, editing, tone and just about every single aspect of the show gets significantly worse as the episodes progress. So I'd recommend one of two things: Watch the first 2 and let your mind make up a better told story afterwards or just avoid it altogether.
Such a shame.
The Tomorrow War (2021)
A bloated incoherent and inconsistent mess.
This was one of the poorest attempts at a time travel story I think I've ever seen. The writers try to hand wave away questions the audience has in one very short rapid fire scene of absolutely nonsensical explanations and exposition that puts all suspension of disbelief to a screeching halt.
The script is a constant assault on the viewers intelligence. They truly believe we cannot make connections without things being painfully spelled out for us. And the plot holes big enough to drive a semi through, I guess they thought would just fly under the radar?
Chris Pratt's acting is ok here. He plays the same trope laden hero he always does. They shoe horned in a beyond stereotypical black comedic relief. A trope that should have been left behind in the freaking 90s. Everyone else is completely boring or given minimal screen time to not take a second off Chris (which, this is probable a good time to say he's the executive producer of this film).
Action scenes with a 1000 jump cuts. They're annoying and I don't know anyone who actually likes watching scenes composed this way.
And lastly for me: the runtime. Nearly 2 and a half hours long. There is so much filler crap that could have, and should have, been cut from this. The pacing and random high tension music out of nowhere from scene to scene is jarring and uneven.
In conclusion: Brain dead action flick that thinks it's viewers are stupid with a terribly under-cooked premise.
A Dark Song (2016)
You're either gonna love this film or hate it.
I personally thoroughly enjoyed watching this, but it is 1000% not for everyone. This has got to be the king of slow burn type of movie. I'm talking glacial.
If that's something you're into, then this is the movie for you. The acting from the two main (and basically only) characters is top notch. The intensity they bring to the rituals they do is very convincing.
The score is fantastic and does a really great job at heightening the slow building tension throughout. Great camera work and all that jazz.
Now for the ending. Oh man is it ever polarizing. I loved it, but I know a lot of people hated it and it's hard to say, even if you liked the film up until that point, if you'll be satisfied with it.
All that being said, if you're into slow burn, atmospheric, occult dramas then this is the perfect movie for you. I've been trying to find another like this one and I've yet to find anything that even comes close.
Army of the Dead (2021)
This was a complete mess.
I'll start off by saying I enjoyed some of the action scenes. Nothing groundbreaking or even done that well, but I still got some enjoyment out of them. Dave Bautista really tried here with what he was given. That's all I got for positives.
Oh boy, where to start? From the complete tone change in the beginning of the movie that tells us it's going to be a not serious campy good time, into the overly serious disaster we got, I was extremely disappointed in the choices Zack Snyder made for this film.
Characters across the board make insane decisions that make no sense, or completely go against what little is established about them. Over and over again until the very end of the movie.
Numerous things set up and never delivered upon. Characters teleporting around the city in mere seconds. Zombie power levels varying from scene to scene. Attempts at setting up emotional moments out of nowhere only to abruptly end as awkwardly as they begin.
All in all, if you wanna shut off your brain and watch something, you could do a lot worse, but if that's not something you want to do or can't do; I'd say you're better off watching Zack's far superior film Dawn of the Dead.
Loki (2021)
Pretty good start, all things considered.
The good: Tom and. Owen are a great pair I never would have thought had as much chemistry as they did. It was wonderful and their back-and-forth is the best part of the episode by a long shot.
The production value and visuals are also really great here, as to be expected on a flagship Disney property.
The plot they set up could really lead into some pretty interesting directions if the writers are brave enough and given the freedom to do so.
The bad: The constant call/flash backs can get a little tiresome and wear their welcome for those of us who have Marvel movie fatigue. I'm hoping this was a mostly one time deal to set up the series and remind people why they're here.
As with any show or series dealing with time travel stuff, there are already plot holes and inconsistencies with the main "group" involved. You go from people with control of cosmic power to bumbling idiots in the span of just a few minutes. At times in the episode, this idea is played with to really good comedic effect, but later it's downright absurd in the worst way possible.
In conclusion: This was a strong start with great performances by the lead characters that I'm excited to see where this goes. I'm hoping they didn't blow the majority portion of their budget on the first episode as a hook like they have with other series and the quality stays at or above the level shown. Here's to hoping!
Polar (2011)
The reviews here are hilarious and for the wrong movie.
This isn't the 2019 netflix movie. I'm sure they, like me, clicked the google rating link which sends them here.
Absentia (2011)
It's about the journey, not the destination.
Let me start off by saying that I thoroughly a majority of this film. Created on a low budget, they had some good acting, the music set the tone perfectly for just about every scene and it has a few decent jump scares.
Now for the bad stuff: The ending. The final scene leaves MUCH to be desired and leaves you feeling extremely unfulfilled and with many questions left without answers. Now I suppose you could say this was the intent of the writers to leave you feeling like this as it is also how characters feel at times during the movie, but I say it's just poor writing.
Jeruzalem (2015)
Signed up just to review this and save you time you can't get back.
If I could give this a lower score, I would. The entire story is told from the viewpoint of a spoiled rich girl's google glass, in the vein of a "found footage" type format. Absolutely nothing to do with the story happens until about 47 minutes into the film. From the cheesy fake accents from "Indiana" to the cringe worthy dialogue, there is seriously absolutely nothing redeemable about this film. I stopped watching at one point because of how much I hated everything about this film and came back to it later to finish it.
Save yourself the time and the headache, avoid this piece of crap film at all costs.