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Reviews
Ator 2: L'invincibile Orion (1983)
Ator the What?
BOOOOOOOORRRRRINNGGGGGGGG and STOOOOOOOPIDDDDD. Kept falling asleep. If you want to see Miles O'Keefe loping around in a furry Speedo by all means rent this movie. If not please don't bother... Rife with anachronisms. Was this supposed to be set in the Ice Age, the Iron Age, the Steel Age or the Age of Reason? What was the reason for the black nylon wig on the guy dressed up as Genghis Khan? Was that really supposed to be Genghis Khan? If Ator had access to so much advanced technology and science why did we have wait another 1000 years for Leonardo? It's never clear where Ator comes from or if he's supposed to be some superior sort of being. You wonder if it was all explained in the first movie but after seeing this one you KNOW you'll never bother.
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
MANOS: The worst EVER!
A terrible, boring movie that leaves an ashen after-taste.
I've only seen the MST3 version and even the playful atmosphere of the show couldn't dispel the awfulness of the movie for us. We literally felt soiled afterwards. I guess it could be improved - if you had an entirely new script-director-cameraman-sound technician-cast etc although I'm not sure why removing the "cat fight" portion would make it any better since that alone had to be the high point of the whole movie.
A lot of bad movies can be fun, of course. "It - The Terror from Beyond Space" is one of the worst science fiction films ever made in the 1950's but it is a scream; literally a howler. Scenes of male "astronauts" looking like a bunch of middle-aged teamsters sitting around their "break room" smoking cigarettes while the "lady astronauts" clear away dishes and serve coffee will have you laughing your ass off.
There are few such gems to be found in Manos. It really is just a unfortunate boring piece of crap.