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centvriox
Reviews
I, Robot (2004)
Am I the only one to notice?...
...that the robots looked and moved exactly like what they WERE, namely, computer generated "CARTOONS!?" I at no time felt there was really a machine there with weight and substance. This has been an ongoing bugaboo of computer generated characters. They seem to have solved the problem with animals, witness the dinosaurs in "Jurassic Park" or elephants in "Jumanji," they really LOOK like they weigh TONS. Yet, the robots just seemed to be floating around. Also, turning Asimov's rather cerebral treatment of the "robot question" into just another cornball Will Smith "bang-bang-shoot-shoot" action flick must've had the poor man spinning in his grave, or space capsule, or wherever he is.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
False Advertising!!??
First of all, this movie should have been titled "Dead Man's Chest, PART ONE!"...or "Pirates III, PART ONE!" It is, for all intents and purposes, merely the first 2 1/2 hours of a 5 hour movie. I recall that "Back to the Future II" suffered from the same syndrome and was widely criticized for being nothing more than a 2 hour ad for #3! Don't expect a happy ending, heck, don't expect an an ending at ALL! The Barbossa "surprise" in the last scene was very enjoyable but ticked me off even MORE because I realized I'd have to wait a YEAR to see the REST of the film. The overblown CGI reminds me of Star Wars II ("Clones") where they pretty much went NUTS and did CGI for CGI's sake. Jack did WAY too much "mincing" this time. He's supposed to be hetero (???) so why is he flouncing around like the grand marshal of the Gay Pride Parade? He did just enough in #1 but, as is typical of Hollywood, I guess he figured more is better. btw Jack, when running for your life, leaning BACKWARDS looks cute and "swishy" but is hardly promotes maximum speed. Finally, was all the GORE in what is *allegedly* a Disney movie necessary? I mean, do the tiny crumb-crunchers in the audience really need to see eyes plucked out etc. etc.? Yes, yes, of course it was worth seeing but I hope #3 improves on #2.
Cars (2006)
GREAT story and did anyone else spot this!
This is more properly "Trivia" but I didn't see any way to submit a trivia item, so here goes: While almost all the landscapes in the movie look extremely realistic, there are a couple of scenes depicting these giant, very peculiar looking sandstone rock formations. They look peculiar because they're modeled on the rear ends of the Cadillacs that are half-buried, nose-first, into the ground at the "Cadillac Ranch" in Texas. As to my "review," well, the wife had to drag me to this movie kicking and screaming as I've become very tired of computer animated cartoons. I'm glad as heck she DID however because it was EXCELLENT! I was impressed by the story, which contained real lessons about what and WHO should be important in ones life. On a technical note, the visual and SOUND depiction of the racing sequences was nothing short of INCREDIBLE! I completely forgot that nothing I was watching was real. Disney/Pixar have another winner.
East Is East (1999)
Some Cultures ARE better Than Others!
The movie is well done and entertaining, BUT, what gets lost in the shuffle is the fact that the so-called "Pakastani culture" is misogynistic, intolerant and oppressive!!! I was feeling kind of sympathetic for Geroge, what with his trying to adapt to an alien culture and all, BUT..when his wife came to the door with her face purple with bruises I realized that this jerk belongs in JAIL!!! Culture differences be DAMNED..There is NO excuse EVER for beating a woman! The fact that there is no intervention by authorities in the movie leads me to believe that the children of George, their "rebelliousness" notwithstanding, give tacit CONSENT to their dad beating the crap out of their mom!! Not to mention that they guy is a BIGAMIST!! My dad never beat my mom. If he HAD, then I'd probably have taken a baseball bat to his head as he slept.
I reiterate...Some cultures ARE better than others!!
Raye makhfi (2001)
Boooooooorrrrrriiiinnngggggg!
My God, I could make a better movie if I just focused a camera on my *lawn* for two hours!! This movie makes "Solaris" (the supposed Russian "answer" to 2001...NOT!) look like "Fast and the Furious!!!" (Speaking strictly of attention-getting ability and excitement level, of course). I saw no evidence that the dullard soldier gained any kind of "insight" whatsoever! He was basically Forrest Gump's younger, dumber, brother.
The final scene was reminiscent of "Sling Blade." The moron just sits and stares, none the wiser, still an idiot.
"Spoiler??" There was nothing to *spoil* but I checked the box just in case.
Maybe Iran thinks they can show "Fundamentalist Islam with a Happy Face" but one look at the woman in a black head covering and cape when it's probably *90 Degrees* outside tells you all you need to know.
By the way, just what WERE the two soldiers "guarding" against? Invasion, perhaps from the "Great Satan?" One burst from a 20mm chain gun and they'd be so much falafel.
I need a drink! :>)
Charly (2002)
It's "Love Story" for Mormons, but a helluva lot BETTER!
I'm a 58 year old, combat vet of Vietnam, a "Porter Rockwell Mormon" and this movie had me welling up!! (I never really *cry* anymore, sad to say).
When Sam (my grandson's name btw) takes Charly on the ferris wheel for the last time my insides turned into *pudding*!!!! I'm amazed that Heather Beers has only been in two movies because, (contrary to what I've read from Mormon haters regarding "Baptists/Barbeque"), that little lady can ACT!! I suppose she's now a Relief Society President somewhere with 3 kids and that's OK but God BLESS her for sharing her gift with us, however briefly! This is not to overlook the contribution of Jeremy Elliot who is a seasoned actor and SHOWS it! He, and the rest of the folks in this fine film, should be proud forevermore.
This is the movie that the much maligned "Love Story" COULD have been! THANK you Halestorm!