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Reviews
American High School (2009)
What happens when satire meets stupidity
This movie is supposed to be a satire/spoof of teen high school sex movies. In fact, the high school is even called "American High School." It's supposed to lampoon the other movies by going completely over the top, with every student being super-sexed, super-drama magnets. However, the movie lacks two key ingredients for a good spoof movie: wit and charm.
American Pie had both (which was why it was successful). The main characters were understandable enough that you actually wanted them to succeed. In this movie, all the main characters seem to suffer from multiple personality/bipolar/other mental illnesses as they will completely flip 180 digress from scene to scene. The best example of this is the "most popular guy in school/main character's husband"
Right in a row he: First rejects the main antagonists' "subtle: advances (and my subtle I mean she shoves him against a tree, tears off his shirt and offers him a bj). He calls her a dumb whore and ditches her. Then in the very next scene she offers him a ride and asks to go out to lunch with him and he accepts. Then in the next scene he's talking to his wife about how he asked the "dumb whore" out to prom and that he didn't think she (wife) would be upset.
Seriously...WTF?
And this isn't an isolated incident. At prom the husband is seen dancing and grinding against the "dumb whore", grabbing her ass and then in the very next scene is trying to apologize to the wife saying he misses her.
If they portrayed him as a chauvinistic pig like many of the other male characters, that would have been fine, but they tried very hard to portray him as a "sensitive, confused boy who just got married too young."
Anyway, the ONLY reason I can think someone should want to watch this is to see tits, and again you'll be disappointed. There is one scene where Nikki Ziering (age: 38) partially exposes her breasts so her art class can get "inspiration."
Here's a hint for all you adolescent boys, she gets more naked in American Wedding (she's Officer Krystal) and that's actually a decent movie.
Vinyan (2008)
Boring...pointless...awful
This has to be the most boring, god-awful movie I have ever seen. It's an hour and a half that drags on. No dialogue. No plot. No development, just scene after scene of mopey Rufus and that french woman.
The movie starts out mediocre, a couple is seizing one last hope of finding their missing child, but it goes quickly down hill from there. The wife is obviously completely insane but the husband just goes along with it. Even when she gives away all their money when they're in the middle of nowhere...even when she tries to drown herself...even when she goes nuts eating rice!?
Within 30 minutes I was starting to just repeat to myself "don't care...don't care" and reaching for the remote to fast forward past all the traveling scenes. There's about 20 minutes of actual movie, and then 1:10 hours of them walking or driving or boating or walking again...
There's no tension. There's no suspense. There's no pacing. The whole movie can be summarized as such:
1) Close up on wife's face. Hey look, she's sad and dead inside. 2) Wife freaks out and pushes husband further into the search. 3) Husband gets upset because he keeps following his crazy wife. 4) Traveling scene 5) Traveling scene 6 -> 19) Traveling scene 20) Hey look, they finally arrive and...nothing happens. GOTO 1
This repeats 3 times and you're done. Congrats, you just watched a boring, pointless, awful movie.
Superbad (2007)
Hilarious....if you're a guy
First off I am a guy and I found this hilarious. My significant other, however, felt like walking out of this movie after the first 10 minutes.
The plot revolves around getting women too drunk to know what they're doing and then sleeping with them, so many women would probably feel a bit disgusted and objectified. Add to that all the colorful terms used to describe female genitalia and the fact that there aren't really any positive female role models in the movie (they all apparently just want to get drunk and get laid too) create a movie that women may find disgusting. If you're a guy, however, hilarious.