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The Condemned (2007)
Bleak and violent
The premise of men and women fighting to the death on and island for internet viewers is bleak and cruel, even if said fighters are criminals on death row. Enter Stone Cold Steve Austin's character who, as you might expect, is not the hardened death row criminal that you are led to believe he is. Bad news for the bad guys. Vinnie Jones stars as a thoroughly unlikeable character. He plays a bad guy well. There are some incredibly violent scenes that get dragged out longer than they need to. Australia stands in for Papua New Guinea and Texas. Plenty of Australian actors, including Madeleine West of "Neighbours" fame. Bloody action almost from the word go. The concept just turned my stomach, I guess.
Spellbinder: Secrets (1995)
"Secrets"
Shhh, the secret in "Secrets" is that it's actually the least-interesting episode of Spellbinders so far. A much slower pace and nothing of real interest happens aside from Paul boasting about his knowledge and thus forming some sort of alliance with Ashka, which I can imagine is only going to end in tears for the former. At least having Ashka on his side - if even only temporarily - seems to have saved Paul from exile. Or maybe not? Either way, never trust anyone who tries to electrocute you on your first meeting. That's my motto in life. Back in our world, Katrina is convinced she's figured out what happened to Paul.
Spellbinder: It Isn't Magic, It's Science (1995)
"It Isn't Magic, It's Science"
By watching the Spellbinders, Paul has figured out that they aren't actually magicians of any sort, just using the kind of science that he understands to make themselves seem God-like, I guess. So he decides that getting to the Spellbinder castle is the best way to get home. Getting in the way of that is a marauder attack on the village where he is living with Riana's family. Using saltpetre, he makes bombs that turn the bad guys away...and earns him further enmity from Gryvon, a Spellbinder apprentice who seems to like Riana and has taken a serious dislike to Paul. But, arrested and facing exile, has Paul's plan to enlist the help of the Spellbinders backfired?
Spellbinder: Finding the Way Home (1995)
"Finding the Way Home"
Paul is starting to come around to the idea that he hasn't gone back in time, but is instead in some sort of parallel universe, thanks to seeing the Southern Cross in the night sky. He and Riana are on the run from the Spellbinder ship and their foot soldiers whilst he tries to find a way back to his own world. For a moment at the summoning tower, Paul gets a glimpse of his own world through the electricity-induced portal, but it closes again before he can get back, which means he's stuck for the time being. Riana takes him back to her village to introduce him to her family...but that doesn't go as planned.
Spellbinder: Where Am I? (1996)
"Where Am I?"
As the search for Paul around Camp Coutts continues - Katrina tells the police about the strange electricity event that took Paul - he is somewhere else entirely: a long way from camp. Somewhere in the past, he surmises, based on the very primitive nature of the people he runs into, including a girl named Riana (Gosia Piotrowska) whose life he saves. Riana thinks he is something called a marauder and gets very scared during a solar eclipse. It isn't until Paul stumbles upon a village and witnesses Ashka (played by Australian small screen veteran Heather Mitchell, with quite the Eastern European accent), a "Spellbinder" with the ability to conjure up balls of electricity as weapons, that he begins to realise he is somewhere else entirely. Curiously, he isn't affected by the energy blasts that Ashka hurls. The episode closes with Riana helping him.
Spellbinder: The Big Bang (1995)
"The Big Bang"
Fun rewatching one of my favourite programs from growing up - I was in primary school when the first Spellbinder series was released then high school for the second - as an adult, some thirty years later.
Cool to see Camp Coutts, south of Sydney and a place I spent a lot of time in as a kid when I was in Joeys, Cubs and Scouts, being the bush setting for the climactic parts of the premiere episode. Paul and his friend Alex, practical jokers (their plan to create gunpowder in the science lab at their school in the first scenes goes awry - remember the Bunsen burner?) both, plan a stunt to scare some girls. Of course, it backfires and Paul ends up transported through a sort of electric wormhole into a parallel universe. Stumbling through that world, and getting the idea that he is an impossibly long way from home thanks to a Walkman that doesn't pick up any radio stations, he is lassoed and the episode ends.
X-Men: The Final Decision (1993)
"The Final Decision"
A captured senator, Sentinels by the truck load, Magento, a marriage proposal from Cyclops to Jean Grey that will probably not help his relationship with Wolverine, a Magento/Professor Xavier alliance, a family reunion that I didn't see coming for Rogue and a hint of more crises to come for the X-Men in future seasons. There's even a quick vision of Ghost Rider! All of that packed into about twenty-one minutes of animated television. Quite a ride.
Maybe not the brilliant series I remember watching as a kid, but fun to go back through the first season nonetheless. I can see why my childhood self would have loved it. I remember thinking how cool Wolverine was, and how he got all the cool lines - well, that hasn't changed thirty-odd years later.
X-Men: Days Of Future Past Part II (1993)
"Days Of Future Past Part II"
Not quite as good as the first part, but still very solid. "Days Of Future Past Part II" picks up right where the first instalment ended, with Gambit being fingered by Bishop as the assassin he has been sent back in time, Terminator-style, to kill before his actions begin a dystopian world where humans and mutants alike are controlled by Sentinels.
The X-Men head off to Washington to try and ensure that the future Bishop comes from doesn't eventuate. Even Gambit, who discovers someone quite interesting there opposing him.
This two-part episode would stand up nicely as a season finale, but there is still one more episode to go in the season.
X-Men: Days Of Future Past Part I (1993)
"Days Of Future Past Part I"
In an episode eerily and perhaps deliberately reminiscent of The Terminator, Bishop, a battle-hardened and battle-scarred mutant from New York City in 2055 - which is not a good time to be a mutant - goes back to the 90's to stop an assassin from the X-Men and thus save the future.
The problem for Bishop is that, awkwardly, he can't remember who he has to kill to save humanity. At least, not until the final scene of the episode, anyway...
There's so much Terminator vibe that Wolverine even calls the time travelling Bishop "Terminator". There's also a live-action X-Men movie with the same name and a very similar plot.
X-Men: Come the Apocalypse (1993)
"Come the Apocalypse"
Following on from "The Cure," we finally learn what the supposed mutant cure actually does to the X-Men and their ilk: turns them into real, dispassionate, hate-all killing mutant machines, soulless soldiers for the hulking Apocalypse, who envisions a new sort of world, fashioned in his image.
Enter the four horsemen of the (mutant) apocalypse. Archangel and his group are a tough challenge for the X-Men.
However, we didn't get to learn a whole lot about Apocalypse's backstory. Would have been interesting to know why he is like he is, rather than him appearing as just another stereotypical bad mutant guy.
X-Men: The Cure (1993)
"The Cure"
An interesting conundrum for the X-Men and other mutants who may wish to be more human: Rogue is on the trail of a scientist who advertises that they are able to turn any mutant back to a normal human, calling it a cure, hence the title of the episode. Professor Xavier is also seeking informant from the scientist. Rogue, who can't get close to any human, is obviously at least a little bit interested for obvious reasons.
There are perhaps some real-world parallels to be found here when you think of various alleged treatments over the years for things like homosexuality that have been called cures.
Interesting episode.
X-Men: The Unstoppable Juggernaut (1993)
"The Unstoppable Juggernaut"
Following events of the last episode on Genosha, the X-Men return to their home base to find the school ruined and Professor Xavier missing. Tension between Wolverine - brilliantly and menacingly voiced by Irish-born Canadian Cal Dodd, who reprises his role in X-Men '97 - and Cyclops rears it's ugly head again. The undercurrent of dislike and distrust is well mapped out once again.
"The Unstoppable Juggernaut" is notable for being the episode where Juggernaut and the big Russian Colossus are first seen. For some reason, Gambit is missing and no one amongst the X-Men crew seems to notice or care.
X-Men: Slave Island (1993)
"Slave Island"
An episode almost exclusively featuring Gambit, Storm and Jubilee (with a Wolverine cameo), "Slave Island" deals with what the X-Men thought was a peaceful, safe haven of an island but Genosha is anything but that.
The mysterious American mercenary Cable makes an appearance. I guess he could be described as the X-Men universe's version of John Rambo?
There is a lot going on in this episode, with very few slow moments.
The cliffhanger scenes at the end gives you the impression - or, at least, it gave me the impression - that Gambit's allegiance isn't completely certain. Maybe I'm reading too much into it?
X-Men: Cold Vengeance (1993)
"Cold Vengeance"
The commencement of another multi-episode arc - complete with a 'To Be Continued' frame at the end - "Cold Vengeance" sees the emotional, hot-headed Wolverine leave the X-Men. Jean Grey thinks it's because of her.
Wolverine is after solitude in the Arctic, but instead gets the opposite, running into his old enemy Sabretooth. The two square off once more.
Elsewhere, Gambit, Jubilee and Storm do some investigation work. Whilst Storm has played a large part in a few episodes, Gambit and Jubilee have largely been on the periphery of events. It was good to see them front and centre in this episode.
X-Men: Captive Hearts (1993)
"Captive Hearts"
The duo of Magneto and Sabretooth take a bit of a back seat in "Captive Hearts", where the Morlocks, a zombie-style mutant race rear their ugly heads and cause trouble for the X-Men.
A large part of the episode takes place in the New York City sewers: a good atmospheric setting considering the deformed foe the X-Men face.
There is a rivalry bubbling between Cyclops and Wolverine. The former is dating Jean Grey and the latter wishes he was. That will be an interesting subplot to follow.
I could be wrong...but as far as I can recall, "Captive Hearts" is the first episode where Jean Grey appears in a major way/has a major impact.
X-Men: Deadly Reunions (1993)
"Deadly Reunions"
In "Deadly Reunions", we get - as you might imagine, given the name of the episode - the reunion that we have been building to over nearly two episodes: Magneto and Professor X. But it is far from a happy one. Same goes for the confrontation between Wolverine and Sabretooth, who is working with Magneto.
So far, season one has been two-episode arcs, which is a good way of telling an extended story rather than hurrying events to squeeze them into any given 20-minute episode.
Random/fun fact: this episode is written by Donald F. Glut, who wrote the novelisation of "Star Wars Episode IV: The Empire Strikes Back".
X-Men: Enter Magneto (1992)
"Enter Magneto"
The electric guitar in the X-Men theme is so iconic.
The third episode of season one of X-Men, ("Enter Magneto") deals with the mysterious Magento and his relationship to the X-Men and particularly Dr Xavier, dating back to when they were friends and wanting the same thing.
Magento tries to break Beast (who is reading George Orwell's Animal Farm when first seen this episode) out of jail, but he won't have any of it. An origins story episode. Wolverine and the mysterious Sabretooth get plenty of screen time.
Credit the series for developing the characters so thoroughly. No stone is left unturned.
D2: The Mighty Ducks (1994)
The Quack is back!
The Mighty Ducks return in Team USA guise for the Junior Goodwill Games. Gordon Bombay is back, as is most of the key players from the first movie, and some additional rather-stereotyped characters as well. The bad team are the Icelandic group this time, and they wear predominantly black jerseys like the Hawks did in the original. The plot is what it is. You don't watch Mighty Ducks movies for that. Cool to see some other NHLers of the day - including Chris Chelios - and other sports superstars appear at Bombay's Malibu apartment. USA Ducks vs. Iceland in the tournament final. I think we all know how it's going to end.
Fun movie, though. Over and over.
The Marine 5: Battleground (2017)
Die Hard in an amusement park?
Well, the titular Marine, played by WWE star Mike 'The Miz' Mizanin is back for more. This time, he is facing off against a bunch of bikies who are out for revenge after their president is gunned down - on his first day as a paramedic!
The action largely takes place in a theme park parking garage and then in the wider theme park. There are lots of bullets fired on both sides, and some of them actually even hit their intended targets! It's violent in the extreme, as bad guys are dispatched methodically and brutally.
Absolutely nothing groundbreaking, but if you've stuck with the series thus far, it's a better entry than the second one. Still enjoyed Mizanin in the previous instalment, and John Cena is still the best to play the main role.
The Mighty Ducks (1992)
Quack!
It's been at least a decade since I last revisited one of my favourite childhood movies, The Mighty Ducks and although it's predictable in basically every single facet of storytelling, it's hard not to just enjoy this piece of Disney brilliance featuring Emilio Esteves as lawyer turned reluctant hockey coach Gordon Bombay. The movie that spawned sequels, animated shows and even an NHL franchise is a great time capsule of Minnesota - and, indeed, Disney filmmaking - in the early 1990's, and benefits from the engaging Estevez and the fun cast of kids they put around him. Not to mention the appearance of NHLers Basil McCrae and Mike Modano. Just a fun show from start to finish. Great nostalgia.
Autumn in the Vineyard (2016)
Great Hallmark
When you set aside the predictability of certain sections of "Autumn in the Vineyard" (noting that predictability isn't exclusively reserved for Hallmark movies), you still have a really fun film with a good plot and two engaging leads in Chesapeake Shores alum Brendan Penney and Rachael Leigh Cook as rival winemakers from two warring families - the Capulets and Montagues of Wine Country? - who elevate the project with their acting ability.
Based on a novel by Marina Adair, this is top-notch Hallmark filmmaking, and it clearly resonated with audiences, because they made two sequels. Penney and Leigh Cook are a delight together.
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)
The best of the prequel trilogy.
Finally, we know why Anakin Skywalker turned to the Dark Side of the Force and became Darth Vader.
The last hour of the final instalment in the prequel trilogy is right up there with the very best scenes from any Star Wars movie or TV show. It's stunning, gripping, tense, emotional and brilliantly conceived. Yoda vs. Emperor Palpatine and Anakin/Vader vs. Obi-Wan Kenobi are two brilliant lightsaber battles taking place concurrently. Those scenes alone are worth the price of admission.
A somewhat marginalised trilogy - however, I didn't exactly hate either of the first two films in Lucas's prequel saga - ends on the best possible note.
The Acolyte: Lost/Found (2024)
"Lost/Found"
Carrie-Anne Moss didn't last very long - not more than five minutes into the first episode of "The Acolyte" and she met her end at the hands of a Jedi killer after a duel in - where else? - a cantina. Not Mos Eisley, but somewhere similar. Killed by a Jedi hunter.
The same person, in fact, who wakes up from a dream the very next scene, leading us to question whether she was the killer responsible for the carnage in the episode's opening action sequence. It isn't long before a plausible
Set one hundred years before the rise of the Galactic Empire, there is the all-important look and feel of Star Wars in this first episode - including scenes on Coruscant, a familiar planet - and I'm excited to see where the series goes.
Bad Boys: Ride or Die (2024)
Whatcha gonna do?
Martin Lawrence and Will Smith EXPLODE back onto the big screen in "Bad Boys: Ride or Die", which is in every way an improvement on the third instalment of the long-running franchise. That's not to say that "Bad Boys for Life" wasn't good, just that this one was better. The two stars are in fine form: their chemistry is better than ever. Even if the two cops themselves are a little wiser more suspectable to the ravages of age.
Aside from the outrageous action sequences and one-liners that pepper this slick, brash, loud and fun buddy cop adventure, there are some great nods to the events of previous movies and characters, and it was especially cool to see Joe Pantoliano's Captain Howard back, mostly in flashbacks but also some new scenes.
Indeed, the plot revolves around Lawrence and Smith as Marcus Burnett and Mike Lowry going on the run, trying to clear Howard's name after the dead captain is tarred as a dirty cop.
A fun movie from start to finish. I hope this is the last one, as it would be a case of cast and crew going out on top of their game. Better than the opposite: going one movie too many.
X-Men: Night Of The Sentinels Part II (1992)
"Night Of The Sentinels Part II"
"Night Of The Sentinels Part II" picks up where the premiere episode ends: with the X-Men team commanded by Cyclops breaking into the Mutant Control Agency headquarters on a mission to destroy all information pertaining to mutants on earth.
The mission does not go without incident, unfortunately for the X-Men, and there is some early signs of tension between Wolverine and Cyclops.
Poor old Morph meets his maker at the hands of one of the same marauding robots that were after Jubilee last episode (now known as Sentinels). Alas, we never had a chance to know thee. I had a feeling he was not long for the world, considering what I know of the X-Men characters, and so it played out.
Kudos to the writers. There are more than a few good one-liners delivered, especially by Gambit and The Beast.