coxphil Reviews

Beta Test (I) (2016)

Save yourself and avoid this awful monstrosity

[1/10 · 13 September 2016]

This is bad. I mean REALLY bad!! I have only watched 35 minutes of it and that was waaay to much of my life sacrificed!! It's like a bad mid 80s action film spliced with modern day tech. The dialogue is really bad and the acting is atrocious. How the hell it carries a current rating of 6.8 is beyond me but, as I have noticed with previous bad films, I can only imagine the producer encourages all involved in the films production to create multiple spoof accounts on IMDb & blow so much smoke up this films ass that it funnels out of its nostrils like snoop dogg when he hit the bong after his going up in smoke tour!! I'm supposed to write ten lines but I honestly don't know what else to write, oh, think I've just reached line ten. Thank God!!!

Awakened (2013)

Watch at your own peril

[1/10 · 20 August 2015]

This film is so bad that about 20 minutes into it I wanted to scratch my own eyeballs out. Utter utter drivel. I can't possibly convey enough just how bad this film is, it's almost like the actors improvised the whole thing. Well I say actors, I use that term very loosely. I actually can't believe the makers of this film persevered till its completion, they must have known what complete & utter shite they were about to serve up unto the poor unsuspecting public.

I can't understand why no one had the sense of compassion to tell the director to cut their losses and abandon this wretched wreck of a... I don't know what. It's so awful you will cry yourself to sleep at night wondering why you just didn't press that stop button and save yourself from having this fowl stench of a movie burned into your mind forever more.

Save yourself the tears, avoid this film at all costs!