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Krampus: The Devil Returns (2016)
Add value to your life and skip this film
Now, I haven't seen the precursor and based on the sequel, I don't want to. So I was impressed by the total amateurish quality. The sound, oh my aching ears the sound was so horrible, the deaf guys in my audio engineering program were so much better. The acting, what can I say, there wasn't any. Well, the Santa character was okay. Not your Macy's Santa, almost Bad Santa cool. But what can we expect from Krampus' brother? Have I ruined it for you yet, which actually adds value to you. Krampus looked like Frank from Donnie Darko. About as scary as Krampus:The Reckoning's Krampus, okay, no. Heck not even as scary as Frank. All in all, I could do as well with an iPhone and iMovie
Even Lambs Have Teeth (2015)
So much better after second viewing
So we have two girls, taking time off between college and grad school, take jobs on an organic farm out near the middle of nowhere Washington. While in town awaiting the bus to the farm the girls meet a couple of guys. After a bit of flirting they are getting in the truck headed to the farm, or are they. No, these guys, good looking, charming are psychopathic sadists. The girls are drugged and chained in ISO containers. Awakening to the chains and captivity is immediately followed by johns who come to rape and torture the girls. I have to give the filmmakers credit, we do not have to suffer the graphic torture, we do see a couple shots, then music and screaming activates our imaginations.
After a while the girls escape. They run directly to town in the dead sheriff's car to buy tools to end this sex trafficking cult completely, once and for all.
All in all, I liked this movie so much better this time than when I watched it several months ago
My Guardian Angel (2016)
Love Holly Jacobson's Hannah/Angel
Excuse me for being wrong, but I liked My Guardian Angel. Yes, they had a story that could've turned into such a better movie. Should I pick apart the acting? Holly Jacobson did a great job as Hannah/Angel. The people portraying the wholly evil parents seemed to both over act and under act all in the same scene. Their acts of torture perpetrated upon our poor heroine make us want to do them in forthwith, but they linger on and their tortures get, not wait for it, LESS painful as the movie progresses. Now, neither of them has any redeeming qualities to keep them from the bowls of Hell, with the possible exception of the "mom" preventing dad from molesting Hannah. It is implied that he had gone after Angel just prior to her suicide, but she is not going to let him have Hannah. I get the impression it is more out of jealousy than Hannah's well-being, but saves Hannah that particular torture.
Hannah is a nice kid, especially when you realize all the hell she has been through. Too nice to serve up some cold retribution to ol' mom and dad. But Angel has no such short comings. Angel takes up residence in Hannah's body so she is dual booted Hannah and Angel. Angel handles business.
One more criticism. Hannah and Angel are supposed to be 11, not Holly Jacobson was what 12 when she made it? Why don't adult directors ever ask kids how a particular scene would go, but NOoooo, so we get a kid acting as an adult portraying a child because that's what the writer wrote and the director directed. Then need to go back to school I won't blame anyone for not liking this movie.
#Horror (2015)
Save your $3
I wanted to like this movie, I really did. But as I sat there watching I couldn't find a plot or actual story until deep into the movie (I didn't check the time). The story that did come was weak, almost non-existent. There were some girls having a sleep over at the new girl's house. One of the girls we meet as her mom drives her to the party. Sam does not come from wealth and is embarrassed by her mom's car (Hey kid it got you there didn't it?) We meet Cat while she is being berated by her dad for some such or another. The rest we meet in ensemble. After a while of all the girls deep in their phones, someone says, "Hey let's lock them in my mom's safe until she gets back" Oh before this Cat has a falling out with the girls because she is particularly caustic when "teasing", bullying more like it. Well we all know what locking up the phones will bring, that right slaughter. Not very engaging slaughter, more off screen. Ends up little 12 year old Cat is a serial killer, you'd think I'd like it just for that, but no. This movie just doesn't make it at all
I have since watched it a couple more times, like I said I want to like this movie so I looked for it. It got better. I don't think 18+ year old actresses do well playing 12. They didn't seem like they really recalled and the director doesn't seem to have a handle on tween girls. But I liked it better. I'm going to watch it a couple more times. Better, but not $12 at the theatre better
Trainwreck (2015)
Disappointment
I'd read something, or heard something somewhere about this movie, praising it for its feminism.
Trainwreck is about a woman who's life seems a bit of a trainwreck from a societal position. She lives by her rules and doesn't give a crap what society says. So far so good. The character is exercising her sexual agency in a way that makes others uncomfortable and drives some of them into slut-shaming. Up to this point it's okay, although I do like her exercising her agency unapologetically. The problem, for me comes towards the end where she does all the regular Rom-Com attributes. In the end it is just another RomCom, which is a disappointment.
The 5th Wave (2016)
Could've been so much better
Don't get me wrong, The 5th Wave isn't bad, it's just not good, not what it could've been. Of course I went in with great expectations, there's not much Chloe has been in that hasn't been good. Or maybe I'm confusing her performance with the movies as wholes, with the exception of If I Stay, Chloe has given us great performances, from Wicked Little Things to Laggies. She tries here. But I don't know if the directing was not up to par, or the script (actually both if you press me), but her performance here seemed less than her normal. Enough about the star.
It felt like there were pieces missing, like the audience was left out of something. It was choppy. Which is sad, because the concept story is so great, I mean conscripting an army of humans to fight off humans because they think they are the invading aliens. Paranoia cubed.
In writing this I have convinced myself that another watch is worth while, I don't expect much to change, but at least I'll approach it without the high expectations, see how it fares then.
June (2015)
Dual Booted Aer and June
I like June, the movie, the character is a bit on the taciturn side. However, June is dual booted with Aer, a goddess that seems to see humanity as a virus that needs to be eradicated ("Fire will illuminate the sky and the ashes of man will rain down.") When they try for the sacrifice, Aer kills everyone with the exception of the teenage Lily who carries June away.
So the movie opens with a couple (are they a couple?) dressing a baby and taking her to some gathering in the woods. It appears, although it is never stated, that this is where Aer possesses June. Yet, later in the movie we hear Aer tell June, "You are my vessel. Before people, before machines, there was only us." suggesting that the connection between Aer and June is much older than we want to think.
June is a bit taciturn, keeps to herself, so naturally kids have to pick on her. This really doesn't work out too well for them because when Aer has decided June has taken enough she ends it. The scene at the trailer park where Aer lays all flat, in the trailer Aer's power scorched the trailer park and burned all of June's tormentors (I wish they would have left the scene with the fire as it fits the things Aer says.)
There is a CPS worker that wants to sacrifice June to whatever. He removes June form the trailer park foster home to a new home with affluent parents, Dave and Lily Anderson. Unbeknownst to Lily, at first, this is a reunion. At this house Aer gets annoyed with Dave, '...and you, Dave, will be the first to die." Lily keeps wanting to meet Aer, but Aer is present and speaking every now and again, so Lily has spoken to her.
CPS dude kidnaps Aer to take her back to the place of sacrifice in the woods, same place as nine years earlier. They get the same results as nine years past, only Lily and June walk away.
"You all came from the goddess to her you shall return. Like drops of rain falling into the ocean bodies will fall, and, Dave, you shall be first to die."
I like this movie. Kennedy Brice is a good actress. I do feel things were left out. There are issues with consistency, that are minor. I like the dual booted, June/Aery character. I wish they were developed more. But I've seen it the way it is 40-50 times and will see it another 40-50 times over the years.
Krampus (2015)
Best Christmas Move, Ever!
I must say that I waited for Krampus release with 'bated breath. There was so much chatter on several of the horror site, the build up was great. My anticipation for a great horror movie was high. Could Krampus live up to my expectations? I hoped so.
I went on opening day to a nearly empty theatre, some action adventure was probably drawing people away. (Turns out that I live in a town that just doesn't seem to appreciate horror.
Sitting there in the dark theatre, my anticipation rising. The movies opens and it starts off looking like a family movie. As it progresses I realize I am not viewing a horror movie. I start to sink into some degree of disappointment, when it hit me: Krampus is a Christmas movie with some horror elements. A Christmas movie in the vein of A Christmas Carol and It's a Wonderful Life. It is essentially the same story as its predecessors, but more fitting to its time.
I thought the movie well done, even if I might've done some things slightly differently.
I foresee Krampus becoming a regular, well loved Christmas favourite. Krampus is the Grinch for the new generation.
13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (2016)
Surprisingly good
To be honest, I did not have any inclination to see this movie. Why? The politicization of the event, the endless hearings, the attempting to place blame in places other than where it belongs, etc. Sick of it and didn't want to waste money to see what we've been hearing for the last four years. I was wrong. This film does not politicize the events of Bengahzi. Instead it tells the story of some of the people who were there. Mainly we follow a group of highly trained, highly experienced contract security professionals attached to a clandestine CIA compound not far from the US State Department compound. When the State compound is attacked the team at CIA wants to go help because they know the security force there needs help. But bureaucratic nonsense keeps them from aiding.
It is a good movie.
Violet & Daisy (2011)
Violet & Daisy, or Violent and Daisy
Let me start out by saying I LOVE this movie! I know that the critics didn't care for it and it was a huge money loser, something I don't quite understand. The reviews here are mainly positive.
I loved the opening sequence, our protagonists disguised as pizza delivering nuns, delivering Righteous Pizza to a bunch of mobsters while rescuing their kidnap victim. Yes, Violet and Daisy actually serve up "righteous pizza" in the form of mass slaughter of all the bad guys.
I think this sets the tone for the rest of the movie. Violet and Daisy are professional assassins. But for all the killing there remains an innocence about them, Daisy more so than Violet. Maybe innocence isn't quite the right word, although it does fit Daisy, but childlike seems fitting. They play pat-a-cake with each other and with Danny Trejo, who plays their agent.
While Violet and Daisy does have its share of bloodshed the movie is really about relationship.
The acting was quite good, but Saoise Ronan is always good. I've only seen Alexis Bledel in Gilmore Girls, but she did a great job as Violet. James Gondolfini, need I say more? Danny Trejo is, well Danny Trejo at his most lovable.
But I am biased as I love this movie and have seen it like 34 times.