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Vixen Highway 2006: It Came from Uranus! (2010)
It's Like Citizen Kane Only Shot On a Phone By A Hobo Who Edited And Added Effects Using Basic Final Cut With His Bum!
It's pretty sad that literally anything can get listed on IMDb now I mean just look up a clip of this on Vimeo (which by the way is the only place this "movie" exists) and check it out, it is literally worse quality than you get with videos shot with a modern phone. Sound garbage. Video garbage.
Acting garbage.
It should be funny that something this bad actually exists and actresses are willing to waste their time doing this for an amateur nobody I assume for free, but it actually makes me angry. He even pretends it's spun off from Vixen Highway which isn't true. John Ervin should sue this pretender! Assuming he had any money which he obviously doesn't based on the five cent production value of this home movie.
Again he claims the budget is $35,000 just like he did for his fake "Tv series" where his cat licks another cat for two and half minutes while he makes licking noises called "The Adventures of Sophia the Cat".
This guy is totally fake!
P.S. Uranus jokes in this day and age? Really? Jokes written by a grade three kid.
Sophia the Cat's Adventures (2014)
Tex Watt Amazes Again With More Not At All Made Up Film Making Brilliance!
Check out this TV series on YouTube it is totally worth it to see this mind blowing television experience! It is not like any other TV show you will ever see! Forget about Lost, Breaking Bad, Justified and Game of Thrones because this show blows all of them out of the water or maybe it just blows.
Most other television series are way to long but this one is super fast in fact this "TV series" only has one two minute episode which is perfect! Except it feels like it is about an hour long but who gives a crap obviously not the four people who watched it on YouTube which is where most "Tv shows" are posted.
Also the acting is great for two cats who just sit on a dirty apartment floor while their owner tapes them with his phone and makes licking noises.
It is hard to believe Tex What was able to make such an awesome "TV series" for only a $35000 budget. Ha ha this guy is such an ass clown maybe I should spend a few bucks on an IMDb account and make up my own credits too. Wicked!
Tex Watt Interviews (2014)
This Shouldn't Be On IMDb
Things people make on their own with a phone do not belong on the IMDb Listings.
OK so I am actually reviewing this based on a trailer and what he wrote about it but I have to it just looks so bad! From the "film maker" who brought us the "hit cult film" (not sure how he has the stones to claim that when he only released on Vimeo and nobody watched it) Frankenhooker, Tex Wat. (more like Tex What?)
The actual clips is not nearly as funny as the details about them. The quality of video and sound are **** poor and so is all of the "acting" involved.
He gives his cat a credit. All of the people have funny made up names like dinosaur dick smashes. Really? Dinosaur dick smashes? "Tex" is a funny dude. Why is a Canadian guy called Tex anyway?
Best part is under estimated budget he actually put $90000. Really Tex? really you expect anyone to actually believe that? Lol That's at least $89,990 more than you could have possibly paid for this thing. If your going to lie at least be reasonable if you want anyone to believe the hype bro! $90k ha ha!
This guy's entire IMDb page is Lawls! the way he talks himself up as a huge movie maker actor and musician and producer costume designer etc etc etc etc It blows my mind how some people can actually just believe people's own hype, how else would this butt hat get even these somewhat attractive strippers actresses and hookers to appear in his "movies" he tapes with his phone and edits with a basic Mac notebook editing software? Check out his page, dude is delusional about him self and his movies.
I also watched the beginning of his awful homemade "movie" Frankenpimp online because I mistook it for Frankenhooker and I'm sure he did that on purpose. I hope Frankenhooker sues him for copy right infringement ha ha.
Spun Out (2014)
Canceled by a Perv... But it Wasn't Any Good Anyway
I'm sure everyone reading this has already heard everything about the lurid story concerning the weird little bald guy with the fanny pack in this show (the character's name is Bryce I think, Dave Foley's assistant), the guy who played Fake Moby or Fake Dean in the awesome show Community... he (allegedly) put cameras in his apartment that he rented out on the cheap to young women and police (allegedly) found the equipment hooked up and the recording devices and believe he also (allegedly) did the same thing in his other place in L.A. Super, super creepy.
But on the bright side we haven't really lost anything because this show was no good anyway! The laugh track is super aggressive, it just looks and feels tacky and the plots are super stupid with the lamest jokes you've ever heard in your life, and every single line is a joke. It's literally like these are scripts of a 1980s sitcom they dug up and produced for some reason. So it's very dated but on top of all that they don't even do it right. It's even worse than that because almost every actor is of the quality I would expect in a high school play or maybe they just can't do comedy. I bet Dave Foley must have been drunk constantly with his coffee mug full of rum just to get through taping every day what he as a comedy legend must realize is a really awful show.
"Hey Dave." (huge laughs) "Hey Bryce." (huge laughs) "I wanted to ask you for a raise." (huge laughs) "I wanted to ask you if you forgot about my rule that you never come into my office without knocking." (huge laughs) "But I found something. (huge laughs) It's in my fanny pack. (huge laughs) (opens his fanny pack) (huge laughs). "No Bryce don't open the fanny pack!" (huge laughs)
If you think an exchange like that is super funny you will love Spun Out, but if you have a brain that is actually functioning at a level of 12% or higher, skip it and watch something else. Assuming you'll ever have the chance to watch this awful series again - which I doubt highly.
Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (1997)
Funny Movie
I wasn't expecting much from this movie (and maybe that is part of the reason why I was so impressed with it) but I ended up enjoying it a lot and even laughing out loud a few times. I thought the two leads were both very good.
It's nothing special and the characters and story aren't that "deep" but for what it is, a silly "desperate to impress people at a high school reunion" comedy, it's a lot of fun. Not a big fan of Friends and never have been, but Lisa Kudrow is really funny in this, and so is the other star (whose name escapes me).
They're basically not very bright, materialistic, and only really care about themselves and each other. But their high school enemies are even worse, and they end up better people by the end. Not much of an arc but good enough.
If you're looking for some simple laughs you can do a lot worse than this underrated movie.
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (2007)
Garbage - Sandler Should Retire
If Adam Sandler is just going to keep making garbage like this -- crapping out 2 or three awful movies a year without caring one iota about whether or not the movies are actually one bit funny or at least good/interesting on some level -- he should just call it a day and retire from movies. He can't possibly need any more money or fame. Just give up already.
This movie is loaded with predictable and awful jokes. I don't mind sexism, raunch, gay jokes, racist jokes if they are done well or are funny, or are in some way necessary to the plot or the characters. But just crapping out a bunch of racist lines while showing women as nothing more than brain dead objects is passe and pathetic. The characters don't pay for these things or even learn from them.
Rob Schneider in yellow-face is unfunny even by Rob Schneider standards, which is pretty low on a comedy level. This is how low Sandler is sinking - lower and lower with every awful movie.
Chick Magnet (2011)
Pathetic Attempt at "Filmmaking"
This movie started out boring me (not funny, not interesting, no characters who were at all likable or developed enough to make me care about them).
Then this movie annoyed me (very poor acting, huge plot holes and amateurishly shot, as though they were using a camcorder, household lamps for lighting and edited it on whatever software came with their discount laptop).
Then this movie made me angry (the big name stars were on screen for ten seconds and appear to have simply been ambushed on a red carpet, plus the entire premise of the movie really is just about "drugging" women with a magic pheromone-covered shirt and literally raping them without the guys ever learning anything or even paying for their crimes).
Seriously, this movie is both completely unfunny, unlikable and not watchable and on top of that it is completely morally bankrupt - and again not even remotely in a funny way. Guys can't even enjoy the movie for the T&A factor because there's only one or two short topless scenes, and even they are boring, unfunny and not titillating at all (again, they are simply raping these women!)
I sincerely hope that every celebrity sued the filmmakers for using their names and likenesses.
None of them are listed here on IMDb so it seems pretty obvious once they started marketing their "movie" using their names, their management/legal teams squashed that pretty quick. Serves them right. It's pretty obvious the guys behind this movie aren't just bad filmmakers, they're bad people.
Frankenpimp (2009)
The Downside of the "Anyone Can Make a Movie" Era
We live in an age where absolutely anyone has access to editing and effects software and some kind of a video camera, where anyone can "make their own movie" and even post it online or on YouTube for anyone to see it. That can be a very great thing, when that movie turns out to be a good one. But it can also be a truly awful thing when that movie turns out to be truly awful, which is sadly the case with "Frankenpimp," a movie that I only bothered watching online because I was under the impression it was a sequel to (or at least had something to do with) the popular cult film "Frankenhooker." That's obviously an assumption the filmmaker of this piece of garbage was hoping people would make, to trick us into watching this unfortunate piece of garbage. This "movie" if you can even call it that is just a way too long (it feels like about six hours) and incredibly amateurish jaunt down one "filmmaker's" egotistical lane. There is nothing worth seeing in this movie other than a couple attractive girls. One gets the impression this "filmmaker" just threw something together in an attempt to get girls to show him some skin. The same guy wrote/directed/produced/starred which is always a dead giveaway for it not being any kind of real movie. If anyone involved in making this movie sees this: please retire, this "movie" was a travesty on every level.