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Reviews
Wabuu (1996)
A religious experience
I don't know what kind of people would give this movi- I'm sorry this ticket to heaven any rating lower than a 9 but this movie slaps hard. When Wabuu got pooped on at the beginning, baptism, When Alfred bought those dogs to catch thieves and they had, a wise move from a great prophet. Wabuu the Cheeky/Little Raccoon is going to teach your children the realist of life lessons that nothing that modern sinful garbage like Bluey, Paw Patrol, or Special Agent OSO would lack the balls in doing.
You see these terrible shows don't teach kids how not jump to conclusions as the animals accuse Wabuu for killing several animals which he DIDNT but the small and smooth brained animals don't believe him. Nonsense like this is why Wabuu's personal quote is "Most of the Animals are Sooooo Stupid." as he hops around like a kangaroo and laughs at the lesser evolved creatures.
All of this is to say that no matter what, Wabuu is THE Raccoon. He DOESN'T wear any shoes and he feels like shopidy wappity doopity dappity dooooo.
Bizaardvark (2016)
This show is uninspired taking ideas from not only I Carly but other Disney sitcoms
If I want to be honest here this show is average at best boring at worst but since the "It's an I Carly ripoff" criticism has been made I want to point out that this show takes ideas from older Disney shows. For one Vuuuuuuugle might as well be the internet equivalent to the ANT Farm from the Disney show of the same name. The set up is similar to Liv and Maddie with two main characters with conflicting personalities who somehow manage to be close friends (for as much as I think Liv and Maddie is worse than Bizardvark due to the full cast of hate-able characters at least the show portrays this dynamic in a more realistic way to an extent) we also have Bernie who is essentially a fusion between the more sympathetic parts of Joey Rooney and oddly enough Denzel Crocker (Whenever he talks about his mother just replace mother with grandmother and you have Bernie Shotz). Then we have Logan Paul I know he has a name but he is essentially an even dumber version of himself who has a dynamic with Bernie similar to Dice and Goomer from Sam and Cat (You know the competent manager and the dumb-as-a -rock star who is oddly good at their craft it is made worse because Logan is the dumb blonde archetype). Amelia might as well be the only one who does not feel like a ripoff character so I'll leave her alone just know that she is a fashion designer type character with a "good" heart but does not focus on fashion to the point where she becomes girl the character.
Other than that, the show feels uninspired if anything. Most people (myself included) wouldn't have minded if the show was an I Carly clone if it had a style or identity of its own that people liked. Look at early Family Guy for example people have called it a Simpsons clone for years now but you have to admit the show had an identity and charm of its own despite being called a Simpsons clone. While in the world of gaming you have Yo-kai Watch while people in America dismiss it as a Pokemon clone, it once again tries to distinguish itself from Pokemon compared to other Pokemon clones both in tone, gameplay, setting, set-up, ideas, and characters so much so that it was a phenomenon in Japan to the point where some want Jibanyan in Smash Brothers. However Bizardvark does not do anything different (let me rephrase that *ahem* ANYTHING INTERESTING) to distinguish itself from I Carly besides having unlikable characters, trying to be #quirky and having lol random humor.
Little (2019)
Has potential but does little with it
This movie was predictable in several areas. some say that it's not always about the the plot rather how it's executed and I generally believe this as. However, the execution sucks. There are a lot of problems with this particular story but let's talk about the positives.
The beginning of the movie kinda got me hooked. I loved seeing snippets of the motivation behind why our main character Jordan Sanders is rude and obnoxious instead of dumping it all out in the audience later in the film. I also loved some (8 I seriously counted throughout the movie) of the jokes that this movie threw at me I would not classify these jokes as laugh out loud moments but I laughed. I also loved the chemistry between both adult and child Jordan Sanders and April Williams they play of each other extremely well at times. Ignoring the interactions with the child characters excluding young Jordan, most interactions between characters feels natural when it is not trying so hard to be desperately hip and cool which leads into the negatives.
Going back to the beginning of the movie, I said that it started off pretty well the motivations behind why adult Jordan is the way she is clear. But the movie goes downhill starting with the time skip where adult Jordan Sanders becomes annoying and infuriating. I understand that this was possibly to make the audience want to see Jordan get taken down a peg and eventually learn her lesson but seriously she did not have to be this terrible of a character. this film has a skeletal premise where the prideful jerk learns to be humble due to a life changing experience. however what separates Little to a films that follow this trope is that the Jerk is somewhat bearable like Scrooge from the Christmas Carol. What separates a character Scrooge from Jordan Sanders is that Scrooge (in most adaptations) is usually easy on the ears. Adult Jordan is loud, obnoxious, and childish what did not help my first impression here was that I was in the front row seat where the movie felt like it was at its loudest. I hated this movie very quickly but being open minded as I am I gave this movie a chance and boy it did not get any better.
The biggest problem this movie suffers from is predictability. Every time I am introduced to a new scenario I immediately come up with a few ways how the event would go out and usually one of those ideas ends up happening. From Jordan Sanders's boyfriend thinking he knows what's really going on to the part where I see Jordan meet the kids who are portrayed as losers. What does not help is that certain plot points go nowhere as well as certain ideas are not explored. Such as the the teacher which the movie hypes up the teacher character to be a potential love interest/helper type character but immediately drops during the cafeteria scene which is comes a few minutes after his introduction we never see the teacher afterwards. It's not like the plot points that go anywhere is any better as nothing pays off here. I put off April's arc of trying to be assertive off on purpose because it feels inconsequential. The synopsys is that April is Jordan's assistant and April wants to pitch this idea in order to stop one of Jordan's highest paying clients from walking away from Jordan's company. The problem is that there are no steaks here it's not like Jordan's company is in a financial rut and this one client is on life support duty. If April fails the worst she will get is a scolding from Jordan at the very worst since Jordan relies on April to take over the company while Jordan goes to school. Since a lot of things in the movie that go nowhere, it kinda leaves me unsure what predictable plot point will lead to any payoff. If that was how the writers wanted to make the plot feel unpredictable then I am sorry all this ended up doing is frustrating me since the movie loves to throw in false hype with meager payoffs.
The last complaint goes with the humor. To be honest I have never understood "black" humor despite being African American (which means nothing in the grand scheme of things I know) but if this is supposed to be an entry point then I'll have to try somewhere else. Sassy black characters can be funny for so long before it just gets annoying and painful to watch. For one most jokes tend to drag on the only jokes I enjoyed were some of the faster paced ones. I honestly made a game to see how many jokes that this movie will throw and will actually make me laugh. Unfortunately I counted 8 jokes most of them were at the beginning while joke #8 was at the end it felt like an actual joke.Most of the jokes are pretty simple but it honestly feels like I have seen these jokes done a lot better somewhere else. I have seen male stripper jokes done before and the one made here made me question the values of life and humor maybe I want media censorship so I don't have to watch boring trash like this as this movie make it into any mass media platform again.
My conclusive thoughts on this movie is that it is boring, predictable, and for the most part unfunny. It reeks of potential but fails in different ways.
Edit: It has come to my attention that this movie was pitched and produced by a child actor. while this fact is impressive this should not soften your view on the movie's quality overall. Giving this film the pass just because it was conceptualized by a child is like giving bad films like Food Fight or The Last Airbender a pass just because these films went through development hell. Any piece of media should be judged on its own merits and not judged/praised/bashed on because of the talent behind them. Yeah I feel bad that this kid was able to get out their idea into cinemas and this movie came out the way it was but this does not affect my overall opinion on the movie. If it affects your opinion on the film, then good I guess...? I cannot tell you how you should feel about a film and it's trappings because that is not why I am here. I came to this site to voice out my opinions on pieces of media and nothing more.