Change Your Image
sgenericr
Reviews
Wolves (2014)
Like watching the CW
I admit I only made it about half way. Once the backstory is revealed and it is pretty much what you expected, you know the rest will be too. The acting is fine and it's not bad really, just feels like another teen soap opera with zero surprises.
Teardrop (2022)
No, it's just bad
Nothing happens until the last 10 minutes. I'm fine with a slow burn if it actually leads somewhere, but nothing happens. There are no twists and no turns. It goes in the most generic straight line it can. I thought maybe there would be something unexpected with the maid, but there isn't. She plays out exactly where you suspect she will too. Of course, I've actually seen other horror/mystery movies before, so if you haven't this may surprise you, but I still doubt you'll be happy you stuck around. I thought the acting was fine.
You could literally watch the last 10 minutes and understand 90% of the story if you are familiar with horror cliches.
The Wheel of Time (2021)
Mature books turned into a YA series
Its like they let a 13 year old read the books and then write the "cooler" (or whatever appropriate slang these days) version. As an example, sex was a big deal in the books as there wasn't any until the fourth or fifth book. Here it's a CW show, and I bet most will know exactly what that means. If you just want to watch something that will entertain the "turn off your brain" crowd then this, or paint drying, should do the trick for you.
Bigfoot vs Megalodon (2021)
I expected so bad it's funny
It's so bad it's terrible. It's full of the same CG clips over and over with painful dialogue. At the time of writing this review the movie was at 6.9, which is an insult to every other movie on this site.
Masters of the Universe: Revelation (2021)
The animation is nice
I think most people would have been fine with a Teela spin off, though maybe give people an actual He Man show first. It isn't a spoiler to say He Man is gone before the end of the first episode and never returns.
I went ahead and cancelled my Netflix, not just because of this show, but because so much of Netflix potential completely misses the point. It's not called the He Man show, but the title "Masters of the Universe", Kevin Smith's statements, and the advertising, all greatly implied it would be about He Man. The trailer for the series, with all the He Man vs. Skeletor action is all about the first episode. That wasn't an accident. The show was catered to a different audience than the trailer, but they wanted the clicks.
Shûmatsu no Valkyrie (2021)
This is embarrassingly dumb
I know anime often takes liberties with "gods" and historical figures, but this is just bad. They basically spend an entire episode telling you the background of the character and it is complete trash. Instead of using actual myths or historical accounts they just make things up, or create a new history. If they are just going to have them fight, then fine, but if they are going to waste time on backgrounds at least be somewhat accurate to the character. That's the worst part of the show, but hardly the only bad. For a fighting anime, the fights are almost non-existent. They are stuck in the background of the narration and silliness. You know more about the guy who thinks Thor is awesome than you do about Thor.
The animation often consists of the old single static image style moved across the screen as well. There is no life or flow to anything.
If you don't care about context, or flowing art, and you don't care that there is more talking about none sense than actual fighting in this show, then you should like it fine. Otherwise, this is just a waste.
Await Further Instructions (2018)
Not very good
I activated an old account because I just don't bother writing reviews anymore. I did this time for 2 reasons: 1) the movie really isnt very good, but more so because
2) I don't understand this aparant trend people have of talking about how stupid other reviewers are who don't like a movie, rather than just writing about why they did like it. Or vice versa really, though I've noticed it tends to mostly be the people who like something who like to discuss the great unwashed, uninformed, and unintelligent masses more than the movie they are supposedly reviewing.
Here is a tip, though I suspect most will already know this, if someone spends more time telling you why people with different opinions are stupid rather than why they support their own opinion, that person has no real opinion.