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TwoWhiteGirlsAndYen
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The Addams Family (2019)
Who are the Addams'
Imma be quite honest, I did not go into this movie expecting it to be good. However, I was not prepared for the dumpster fire that it was. In all honestly it is basically showcasing the year to follow its release. In the live action movies that came out in the 1990s, Morticia and Gomez are relationship goals, they are infatuated with each other. However, this movie shows them getting hitched but you do not see their extreme love for each other. Their relationship with their children throughout the movie also irritated me as they are not as supportive as they were in the live actions.
Don't even get me started on Fester, while he isn't the brightest in the most recent live action films, he still has a character arc and contributes to the plot. This movie does not do him any justice as he just has bad one liners throughout.
While I know this is technically a kids movie, the creators completely disregarded the dark humor of the original. There is no mystery or spooky, the characters are nothing like they have been in previous versions.
If you want the charm of the Addams Family, do not watch this movie, it has too many flaws from the original source to where they paint the house pink in the end. Also Thing shows no sass throughout the movie which is highly disappointing. Stick to the live actions unless you want an extremely childproof version of the family that probably used most of their budget paying for the music than decent writing. 10/10 would not recommend.
A positive would be Wednesday's noose braids.
The 100: Thirteen (2016)
I hate this show
Let me start out by saying that this used to be one of my favorite shows. I loved the story and most of the characters, but then this episode effed everything up. Commander Lexa of the Twelve Clans, oh god what can I say about her. She was a badass, she was hot af, and she did not deserve to die the way she did. If you watch the show, then you know how great Lexa was. Like seriously, probably the best character this show has ever had. And you know what kills the most powerful person left in the world? A bullet. Just one bullet. And it wasn't even on purpose, her stupid servant shot her on accident. I hope Clarke kicks him out of the tower and he dies a painful death. But anyway, Lexa deserved way better than what she got. Yes she finally got to be with Clarke (which is something I've wanted since they met because hot damn), but she was literally killed later that day. Like no. That's not okay. This show sucks and I'm boycotting it now.
Deadpool (2016)
Sit Down MuFurs
Thjis- frick- This movie is the bees knees. I enjoy the comedic humor and slicing off of arms. -Oh there's a bit of violence, but nothing children can't handle- I watched this valentines day and I believe that it is a PERFECT date night chick-flick. Deadpool is the perfect baby daddy and my pug would agree. She loved Ryan Reynolds and the guy who swallowed the cigarette lighter. However, we do not condone smoking- it's bad children.Pugs over drugs. From the studio that inexplicably sewed his f'ing mouth shut the first time comes five-time Academy Award viewer, Ryan Reynolds in an eHarmony date with destiny. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... me! Deadpool.
Orange Is the New Black (2013)
They're Lesbaining together
This show is the bomb dignity. It makes me laugh, and cry, and hate life and wonder what so significant of chickens. Like bro, srsly. Red has epic hair. Larry is a f---ing d--k (True). Pornstache is creepy... him and his stache, Bennett is hawt (like rlly h-a-w-t) Sophia is god (latterly. she is god) Sue is f---ing cray cray. Trisha has a pretty sweet neck tat and epic white gurl corn rows. Taystee has some pretty bad alcohol problems, but she still slays erythang. Nicky is just awesome. Alex and piper lesbained together. End of story. Love the show. Watch it. You will thank me later.
Love ya bishes
xoxo Two White Girls and Yen
Pitch Perfect (2012)
Star Shine Bishes
Fat Amy is my spirit animal. Now I know I have multiple spirit animals but I aim to be like her. I even started a mermaid dancing class and horizontal run at least five times a day. I may not be Australian but that doesn't matter because I'm working on my amazing accent. I am also in an A Capella group called the Star Shine Bishes. We just started out but you you'll being hearing about us soon. We may not be the best but we are the most entertaining. The two white girls are our lead singers. Yen is our alto. Cookie Jesus is awesome at throwing down beats (and making cookies for us on the road). The Other One is amazing at overthrowing the two white girls for lead singer even though she is terrible at singing. She also makes our routines up. Come check us out coming to a convention center near you.
How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)
It Was Abosolutley Depressing
Okay bishes so imma bout to tell you the story of a young lad named hiccup. Now hiccup was a normal Viking in the way you ride awesome dragons a stuff like that. but then one day hiccup comes across this freaking bad guy but this bad guy is his freaking "dead" momma. his dad finds him and they have a nice song and dance then the real bad guy came and freaking toothless into wanting to kill hiccup but hiccups father came and sacrificed himself and died. those bishes killed off the Viking leader and they had a beautiful Viking funeral with flaming arrows and I cried. but it was a sad sad scene and beautiful I mean they were a happy family after 20 freaking years and after a day they aren't a family anymore and hiccup feels like he isn't good enough it is an emotional roller coaster through the whole movie good day bishes XOXO two white girls and yen but it is the other one
The Walking Dead: Better Angels (2012)
Yas Bish Yas
Listen here bishes, this is the best episode so far. Shane (Dumbass) finally dies. I was literally screaming with happiness when Rick stabbed him. Dumbass deserved what he got. Listen here bishes, this is the best episode so far. Shane (Dumbass) finally dies. I was literally screaming with happiness when Rick stabbed him. Dumbass deserved what he got. Listen here bishes, this is the best episode so far. Shane (Dumbass) finally dies. I was literally screaming with happiness when Rick stabbed him. Dumbass deserved what he got. Listen here bishes, this is the best episode so far. Shane (Dumbass) finally dies. I was literally screaming with happiness when Rick stabbed him. Dumbass deserved what he got. Listen here bishes, this is the best episode so far. Shane (Dumbass) finally dies. I was literally screaming with happiness when Rick stabbed him. Dumbass deserved what he got. Listen here bishes, this is the best episode so far. Shane (Dumbass) finally dies. I was literally screaming with happiness when Rick stabbed him. Dumbass deserved what he got. Dumbass.
The Lazarus Effect (2015)
Que it For Evan!
Okay biches lets talk about this for a minute. First of all Evan Peters is Bae.... and then he dies by chocking on a friggin e-cig. Why god Why?! Second.... dead animals. Peta would be disappointed. Rocky and the luau pig and the boyfriend (we're going to consider him an animal based on his actions... Dumbass) OK. This movie was good yet terrifying. like The two white girls hands were stuck together. Like C'mon! They could not move! We also snuck cheesecake into the theatre and ate it. There were also a few cute guys sitting behind us- but back to the movie. This bich needs to calm the frick down. Shes a demon, we get it, but I mean you could be a good demon like Dean Winchester in Supernatural. She kills everyone... literally everyone. Even the puppies (#sadface). And the hell scenario was completely takes from Mistys death in season 3 of American horror Story, Evan probably gave them the idea (RIP Misty). It also felt like I was going to sit through and another amazing episode of AHS with Evan playing a sassy character that we all know and love and then there's everyone else... doing whatever they do.
kk, so between Evan, Cheesecake, Hot guys (minus the boyfriend (Dumbass)), and the actual movie, (Oh! And waffle house) our Sunday was pretty good. This entire movie helped me bring out my hatred for the Catholic community and let me reach my inner satanist (Love you boo). Love you! Bye -Two White Girls And Yen
Mean Girls (2004)
You can't sit with us!
Listen here bishes, this is the greatest movie that God put on this earth. Like bless you Lord for giving us this movie. First off, you can't sit with us. Second, she doesn't even go here. Third, on Wednesdays we wear pink. Fourth, we should totally just stab Caesar! Fifth, I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom. Sixth, he's almost too gay to function. Seventh, so if you're from Africa, why are you white? Eighth, Yo, Yo, Yo!
Aaaaaall, youuuuu
Suckah emcee's ain't got nothing' on me!
On my grades, on my lines. You can't touch Kevin G!
I'm a Mathlete, so nerd is inferred.
But forget what you heard,
I'm like James Bond the Third.
Sh-Sh-Shaken, not stirred. I'm Kevin Gnapoor.
The G is silent when I sneak in your door,
And make love to your woman on the bathroom floor.
I don't play it like Shaggy. You'll know it was me.
Cuz the next time you see her she be like "Ohhh! Kevin G!!!"
Happy Holidays Everybody! Ninth, you go Glen Coco! Tenth, the limit does not exist! Love you bye! -Two White Girls and Yen
Beauty and the Beast (1991)
Its Roaring!
omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg! Its my childhood! like to a point. I was captured by my (now) husband, held in his basement for a long time and almost watched my father die! Marcus, my husband was also a hairy giant beast with an anger problems. My ex bae tried to kill him though. he thought he was a bear or something! but after I spent time with him and developed feeling for my kidnapper things changed. When I kissed him he shaved and became so much nicer. all he needed was love. Now to the talking house-hold items. I was on LSD so, everything spoke to me much like belle. now that I think of it I change my mind. I want this movie removed forever. they stole my story! This isn't fair. Wheres my money?! Disney you focker! Give me my life back! 10/10? more like 0/10. screw you Disney.
The Princess and the Frog (2009)
Lets go for a ride chillern
And off we go. This movie.... oh this movie.... lets just talk about it for a moment. This bish kisses a frog and turns into a frog, but thats not the kicker! She turns into a frog! And doesn't get any warts! Like what no! Its so unrealistic! Although the music is good and up beat and catchy I enjoyed the music only. Disney almost did it right. Lets talk about the characters now. A talking gator that plays trumpet (Lame), a firefly that catches the hearts of thousands and dies (stab me with a fork) and an old blind woman in a tree that reminds me of the bish from Wind Dixie. And those frogs! Like holy cow why. Why would you change her into a frog. I mean she ain't a princess but as soon as the two go through a bayou wedding she is and the spell is broken. They ain't wed until after they kiss so she wasn't a princess guys! She was still a waitress. and then think about this. what about if after the restaurant fails and they get into an argument and divorce. And the crazy black Spanish prince gets turned into a frog again. he cant go back to her to break the curse. she ain't gon be a princess.
this movie is an abashment with good music.
Mama (2013)
I cried
this movie was one of the saddest movies i have ever seen and i cannot watch this movie without a tissue handy. poor mama lost her baby when she jumped off the cliff im so sorry for her knowing that loosing a child is a terrible experience even if you are running from an insane asylum and you stole your baby. and that one goth chick should be sent to jail for endagering the poor children she took after they were found 8 years in the woods alone having mama to feed them and then mama got her baby back by killing the little girl and it was just beautiful and i cried because she was a beautiful baby butterfly. i cried sooo soo much at that bring tissues
Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
I leiked it
it was hot. it was steamy. it was dark. it was dirty. it was lovely. it was sad. it was dank. it was sexy. it was exotic, erotic, and narcotic. it was inspiring. it was motivating. it was invigorating. it was anticipating. it was exasperating. it was engineering the days of a better future for all. it was a better future for all. it was all. and everything was grey. but it was also lame. it was stupid. it was most likely getting us called down to the office. I got suspended. i have possible expulsion. i watched it again in ISS. and now i am rather turned on. i may watch it again because i am turned on...... later peeps.
Its a love story so baby just say yes!