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Reviews
Alien: Romulus (2024)
90% of a great movie
Note this review will contain minor spoilers. All major reveals and surprises will remain unspoiled.
The obvious first question is, after 4 original movies, 2 AvP movies, and 2 prequel movies, is there anything fresh here? The answer is yes. First, the lore of the world is expanded (or perhaps gaps filled) in several satisfying ways such as programming of the synthetic people, the transition from tiny chest burster to full grown alien, and some hints on the long-standing question of whether the aliens are intelligent.
In terms of placement this movie comes after Alien but before Aliens (I think, depending on what Ripley radioed before going into cryo in the first movie.
The plot device to get our tiny (!) cast into space is a little weak and makes the Weyland corporation more evil than previously seen. So evil, in fact, their business model would quickly fail.
The traditional Alien game of Spot The Synthetic is bypassed here, as we spot him by his second scene. But fret not, his character arc is actually the best in the movie.
We learn too little about any of the characters before bad stuff starts happening, and by then it's too late to care beyond "oh they gonna die now". For example, are Tyler and Rain dating. Is Tyler the father of Kay's baby? Maybe both, it's not clear. Bjorn's character development begins and ends with "jerk". Navarro (Aileen Wu) gets to play with some cool tech (as seen in preview) and gets a grueling death. As the cast member with the shortest filmography she does well.
My fresh list above is short because the best fresh items are major reveals I will not spoil, but they are very good.
Fede Alvarez as director and writer made a lot of good decisions here. I was actually concerned he would bring in scenes like the opening to his version of Evil Dead which is almost unwatchable for the tension. But no, he matched theme and pace and tension to the other movies in the series. He also, while being fresh, touched on plot elements from several of the earlier movies. These include the elevator and hatchery from Aliens, weaponry similar to the flamethrowers in Alien, and life pod ejection as in Alien 3.
Other nostalgic touches include a computer voice that sounds like Sigourney (it isn't her) and a mutilated synthetic of the same model as Ash from Alien. Ian Holm's face and voice are digitally applied even though he died a few years ago.
As with every Alien movie, we reach a point where folks seem safe, but then things go bad again. I'm going to separate the review there. For everything up to the epilogue, I rate this movie a strong 8.
The epilogue drags it down hard. The epilogue is motivated by somebody doing something they didn't need to do. This precipitates the arrival of a new threat. We had been given to expect certain abilities in this new threat. Those abilities never manifest. What does manifest is a set of unjustified actions based more on grotesquerie than logic and sense. Furthermore there was not sufficient time to develop the threat, explain it, and orchestrate the fight against it. Worst of all, the creature design on it was so bad that my relatively full theater rocked with laughter when the reveal happened.
Most movies in this series are better when viewed in the Directors Cut. I'm guessing the directors cut of Romulus will add 20 minutes and smooth out the epilogue.
Averaging an 8 for the majority of the movie with perhaps a 4 for the epilogue, and weighting the average for duration of the parts, I give a final grade of 7.
Oddity (2024)
We Are Connected
If you've seen the preview for Oddity you saw a whole bunch of tense fragments of scenes sewn together, without actually telling you much about the story. This was surely intentional.
30 minutes into the movie you might find yourself wondering: is this a ghost story? A psychic story? An asylum story? A creature story? A simpler mystery? A horror variant on Jane Eyre?* The answer at that point is simply "yes". Heck, at that point you can't even say for certain whether the person you think is the "final girl" might not turn out to be a villain. And all that with a cast of less than 10 characters.
Writer/Director Damian McCarthy has made a gem here. The only moment that looks contrived is Darcys request to stay alone in the house being approved. But Tim, the owner of the house, is such a weak character we accept it and move on.
Well OK, there's also a moment when the doctors new girlfriend--Yanna, played by Caroline Menton--should have had some questions and demanded answers. I still do, though I'm assuming the answer can be found in Terry Pratchett.
Carolyn Bracken takes on the dual role of twin sisters: the sweet brunette smitten with her doctor husband, and frosty blond who is physically blind, psychically aware, and a maze of sharp edges.
Important plot elements, like a camera set to take pictures at 10 second intervals, are introduced brazenly then deftly explained later in bits of exposition woven in unexpected places.
The jump scares are several and while you will easily spot most of them coming they are still done with style and are perfectly effective.
The Irish manor house where most of the movie takes place looks wonderful and a bit Gothic. The inside rooms were basically only one wall of the square building...the remainder of rooms being waved away as under renovation. This leaves the viewer a tremendous sense of claustrophobia.
Shout out again to the writing for both the convoluted plot and some excellent dialogue, particularly from Darcy.
* I've never seen or read Jane Eyre. I've heard descriptions and certain aspects of this plot rang that bell. I could be way off.
Longlegs (2024)
Creepy and Dark
This is the first movie I've seen by Neon productions (that I can recall, anyway) and on the production level they did a pretty good job.
A side mention to the previews. There were 8 or more, including several more neon productions and that was too many.
Longlegs opens in the style of 70s horror and uses a 4:3 ratio to carry that vibe. Once the credits and film get going, the ratio expands to our current norm.
Once we meet our main fbi agent and see her in a bit of action, she's informed of a serial killer which will be the subject of the movie. The killings defy logic and the ultimate resolution seems to too. Along the way there's several pieces of exposition critical to understanding, but they blow by so quickly the movie would need rewatching to determine if the resolution makes complete sense or not.
Our lead, Maika Monroe (last seen in Watcher) does a good job, despite being intentionally awkward (think napoleon dynamite) in a way that feels autistic at first but is eventually explained.
Blair underwood gives good character to what might otherwise be a cardboard boss.
Nic Cage, as Longlegs, is absolutely creepy beyond words.
Some pieces are too minimalist. For example the arrest of Longlegs. How did that come to be? I can guess, but I shouldn't have to.
I believe I saw in the credits that much of the filming was done on 3 Canadian reservations. Shout out to the location scout and set designers. You folks raised the bar on this movie.
A Quiet Place: Day One (2024)
Flat and uninvolving
I wish I could rate this higher, but I just can't.
The first 2 problems are the trailer. It contained all the good scenes, and it lied to us about the goals of the characters. You saw it. It clearly said the goal was get off Manhattan island. No no no. Samira (Lupita Nyong'o) is on a vision quest to get a slice of new York pizza. Because new Yorkers think they've cornered the market on good pizza. OK, there's another reason but I won't give that spoiler and, imo, it undercuts the movie.
Meanwhile Eric (Joseph Quinn) is given no character whatsoever. We get about 4 sentences of backstory and are left to divine his character based on action and expressions. He's up to that task (see stranger things and overlord), but really isn't given anything to work with here.
He comes on scene birthed from a flooded subway entrance. Why was it flooded? Why was he under water? We have no idea. But he sees a cat and follows it to a person then follows the person. Somewhere along the way his clothes dry out.
Did I mention getting off the island? There's a poseidon adventure conundrum here. In that story, the survivors reach the main corridor going front to back of the ship. Our heroes go to the back. Everybody else goes to the front. In the movie only our heroes get out. In the book, both sets get out
Here we see all of new York walking one way and pizza lunatic walking the other. Turn around. Get off the island. Get a slice in Jersey.
But then we'd have no 3rd act. The third act is plagued by another parallel to poseidon adventure, but I won't spoil that here
Best actor nomination to the cat. That poor cat.
The Fall Guy (2024)
Nonstop fun
The easiest thing to say is The Fall Guy is based on the 1980s action show of the same name. Whether it is a reboot, an origin story for the main character (Colt) or a reimagining is unclear and probably unimportant.
The TV show premise was a stunt man who takes on detective work as a side gig. Here Colt (Ryan Gosling) is getting back into stunt work and wanting to reconnect with his love interest (Emily Blunt as Jody). The detective task comes along eventually giving us enjoyable action in a relatively uncomplicated subplot.
Besides the love story and detective subplot the movie also invites us backstage to view the making of Jody's movie project, giving us insight into the movie making process and the hype machine that is hollywood.
The inside references are endless and I'm sure I missed many. More than a dozen movies are referenced directly as stage hands quiz each other with movie quotes and similar banter. More obscure references include a car jump stunt (such a stunt played a major role in the final season of the original show) and the name of the movie Jody is making: Metalstorm. A theatrical movie of that name came out in 1983 and is the worst movie I've ever seen in a theater.
This movie tries to operate on all of these levels and it succeeds in all of it. The cast are clearly reveling in the joy they're creating and it shines out in every frame of the movie.
Of course two stars of the original show (Lee Majors and Heather Thomas) get a cameo, and the torch is passed to a new fall guy. Hopefully this will be the start of a franchise.
PS, stick around through the credits for video of how many of the stunts were actually done.
Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)
Miller with just a hint of Tarantino
Given Fury Road we know where this story ends and approximately where it will start. And we have a bit of dread that it will just be a straight line between them
It is not a straight line
The movie is broken into 5 chapters (a la Tarantino) with each chapter going new places and giving world building. Where the Mad Max movies give us Max, sn environment, and Max fighting to overcome that environment, this movie gives us a whole world--geopolitics, survival tools, economy--and then throws in a sociopath trying to make it all hid
There are no good guys except the person we know cant win, which is surprisingly liberating as the factions square off
The wasteland debris turned weapon tech is fresh while not unfairly surpassing Fury Road (set in the future)
Allegedly george wrote this script to give Charlize background for Fury Road. This allows tremendous continuity between not only these 2 movies but the video game that came out near the time of Fury Road
I expected to be annoyed at replacing Charlize with Anya, but it was a good move. Not just for her younger looks but for the innocence that shatters through the movie
I loved every minute of this movie.
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)
Visually stunning but weak story
The team put together a show rich in visual effects and spends a lot of time showing them off
The actual plot had so few twists and turns it could be condensed to a 30 minute window
The fights between different size apes, much less the humans, are quite terrifying and realistic
A few themes of trust are broached but never explored. They'll probably flower in the 3rd movie after we've forgotten the setup
3 errors in implementation ill say in a non-spoiler way:
Egg yolk
Smoke unseen
Water levels
I liked the ending, and will definitely see the expected sequels...which isn't surprising as I've seen every apes movie and tv show multiple times.
The First Omen (2024)
What movie were you remaking?
I'm going to rate this movie 7 but really give it 2 ratings
As a horror movie: 8
As an Omen movie: 2
Let me say first that the original Omen is my favorite horror movie. Rosemary's baby, for several reasons, is my most hated horror movie
What we have here is a good take on Rosemary's baby.
Let me explain without spoilers why this isn't an Omen movie. The signature of the Omen franchise is that the deaths occur with a Rube Goldberg clockwork precision (later incorporated in the Final Destination films) coupled with an Alan Silvestri soundtrack that conveyed intent and malice. In short, it was clear that Satan was watching over his son. There were also cumbersome rules about how a mortal could kill the antichrist, all making for great tension.
The preview for this film hinted at this with scenes filmed in reverse....not in the movie. The first 2 deaths pay obvious homage to the original movie but lack the malice and intent. Later scenes don't even try
The final scene appears to take place 3-5 years after the rest of the story, making the final line laughably obsolete
There may be a plan to implement a parallel series of stories even as Omen 2 and maybe 3 happen undisturbed out of sight. If so, that could be fun storytelling. But unless they retcon the retcon, they won't be Omen storys.
Madame Web (2024)
Yes it really is that bad
There are no consecutive 10 seconds of this film that will hold your attention. Whether by plot stupidity, bad dialogue, or clunky cinematography you will constantly be thrown out of the movie and back into the theater (and wishing you weren't there)
Every actor reads their lines as if English is not their native language
The villains lines are clearly dubbed, seemingly by Richard Dreyfuss with his balls in a vice
The grand evolution of Cassandra's powers allow her to helpful pat people on the back and say they'll be okay (that isn't a spoiler, I promise)
Does the final fight take place somewhere iconic like the statue of liberty? No. It takes place on a Pepsi billboard
Need a lead for your girl power film? Hire the submissive from 50 shades...
There was 1 good line in the entire film.
Out of Darkness (2022)
Bait and switch
Billed as a horror film, with the preview suggesting a haunted forest type of story. That is NOT what you'll find here
It's extremely low budget but I'm not downgrading for that. In general they had all the pieces for a fine movie.
I do downgrade when characters do things that are stupid and unbelievable, and fully 25% of the small cast do unbelievable things with every action they take.
Begin mild spoilers
A group of six separate from a larger group when food gets scarce, and go over seas allegedly looking for original home of one of the group. They land in Scotland, find no crops and no hunting and decide to stay.
They encounter an apex predator and get really certain they want to stay.
I haven't even gotten to the unbelievable stuff. And I won't, as I don't want to do major spoilers
Kudos are necessary though to the linguist. Taking the dialogue and translating it to an artificial language was very slick and made the cornerstone if what could have been a brilliant movie.
Tomorrow, When the War Began (2010)
Hidden gem
An Australian equivalent to Red Dawn, this movie captures the shift from quiet teen life to the need to fight beautifully
I particularly enjoyed that, unlike the American version. The antagonists are basically anonymous. Sure, they look oriental, but no concern is paid to whether they're Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Vietnamese, etc. It doesn't matter--theyre invaders and they've imprisoned the entire town and they must be fought
I've watched this movie twice. First time I got interrupted and it was removed from streaming before I could finish. Getting the yen to watch it again and glad to see it's available. But I may buy a copy so it doesn't disappear on me again.
Mr. Malcolm's List (2022)
Ignore the haters
Ignore the people complaining about the race of the actors. It's a simple but well done Victorian romance. Mostly predictable but thoroughly enjoyable.
As for the race issue, the actors were clearly chosen for their acting abilities, not for a homogeny of skin tones. And the actors, up and down the cast, are superb.