Change Your Image
codykonior
Reviews
ARQ (2016)
By the end I didn't care what happened
It's really quite amazing how much the producers got out of this with a script, a couple actors, and just a very few small sets. And things started off really well with lots of mystery, some good acting, and fun.
But as time went on I couldn't help but begin to get irritated. The characters become stupid and irritating, unable to make anything remotely related to rational choices even as they become more and more aware of what's happening.
They stop to have chats while their lives are on the line. Having touching moments instead of, you know, trying not to get killed. Or even discussing deep details on the plot themselves instead of trying to survive or escape.
By the end I didn't care what happened and just wanted all the movie characters dead so that the movie would end. So basically I think it started off with a good premise but too quickly wore out its welcome.
Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments (2016)
Borrows from everywhere, trashy, and yet a supremely fun watch!
Another TV series I really struggled to review. On one hand it brings out the same tropes we have all seen before. The script and story are a mix of good and awful. Everyone is a cool pretty young teenager with a lot of gender bending but nothing outrageous. The acting changes from excellent to atrocious. The sets are often fantastic as are the clothes and makeup.
The characters are terrible and difficult to relate to at all. Except Magnus who is obviously the star of the show.
But there's just something about this show which combines into unintentional schlock hilarity and makes it a compelling watch. I haven't read the books and the movie stands out to me and my partner as one of the worst movies of all time with all traces wiped from our memories. But this TV show was pretty good and we watched it back to back in the space of a week.
We can't wait to see the next season. Give it a shot with some guilty pleasure popcorn even if you're dubious about it.
Ghostbusters (2016)
Awful
I wanted to like this movie because who doesn't love the Ghostbusters franchise? Unfortunately the script writing was terrible, the jokes were juvenile, and things seem to have gone even worse in editing leaving out important parts of the plot, or they were so low-key that I missed them.
You can really tell the actors were trying though and kudos to them for their efforts, possibly with the exceptions of Wiig (who plays the exact same straight-faced character she plays in every other role I've seen her in) and Bill Murray who looks like he had a gun to his head and didn't want to be there.
I can ignore the controversy over the movie. And the gender of the characters and whether the ghosts are CGI or not is not important - everything there is fine.
But the movie just isn't funny. I've read reviews that people were laughing at this. Laughing at what? I admit I might have had an *inside* chuckle here or there but that's not enough to carry a comedy; the "jokes" are more like puns. It's a movie of puns. You can't do that, it doesn't work, puns aren't funny enough to carry an entire movie like this.
By the end I felt I'd watched something of a low-budget fan remake of the original movie. Whomever did the prop making was having a bad day/month/year because all of the ghost busting equipment looked unilaterally cheap and fake.
The plot was also stupid. The antagonist's motivations are just not there.
Between the puns, props, plot, and editing, the whole movie is a flop. Save your money and wait until you see it in the $1 DVD bargain bin.
The Boy (2016)
Surprisingly good!
With the downturn in good horror cinema over the past few years I went into this expecting the worst. Low budget, jump scares, failed humour, no character development, T&A, and crap acting by unknowns or has-beens.
But it turns out this movie is pretty good. It had me thinking all the way along and my partner and I talking about the movie (at length). I'd highly recommend it to others looking for something different.
It's not going to become a cult cinema classic. It's not a, "I'm going to watch this 100x over my life." You probably won't even buy it. But it's a good, solid movie, and worth your time for a night in.
Bridesmaids (2011)
Surprisingly good
I don't like dumb movies and so I avoided this one for a long time, dodging it for a good 4 years. When I see people referring to The Hangover and other "hey we are dumb guys getting drunk chasing skirt and getting in trouble" movies I just switch off; I don't want to live in that kind of world
But today I saw this movie and it was fun. The acting was fairly solid. The story was good and had its own emotional roller coaster going on. Some stuff was crass but overall it worked and made for an enjoyable movie.
I highly recommend it, and I think it's safe for guys to participate in this one.
The Last Witch Hunter (2015)
Very entertaining! 6? No way!
When you walk into a Vin Diesel movie you know action is (probably) coming your way but it's not necessarily going to be brainless or cheap.
The Last Witch Hunter has very high production values in combination with good acting for the most part and especially from the supporting cast such as Rose Leslie. Mr Diesel's acting is a little wooden but I believe this is intentionally part of the character he's playing and their backstory.
As for the script it's not especially amazing but it's serviceable. The main problem comes in the inexcusable plot holes as the movie goes along, a few unexplained characters, and "I'm just bad because I'm evil" character motivations.
All in all though the movie was quite enjoyable, moves at a decent clip, and is definitely worth of being watched. I would rate this a 7.5, but as this is not available, and it's currently sitting at 6, I've rounded up. I look forward to a sequel if they make one.
Goosebumps (2015)
One for the kids, and only the kids
We went in expecting a children's adventure (which usually satisfies open minded and fun loving adults too!) but in this case the movie is really intended only for the kids.
Jack Black's delivery is hammed up a little, the romance and teen themes are mind bogglingly bad) not as bad as Twilight though, I'll give them that!) One character just seems to be there for "annoying kid" trope purposes.
But the CGI was okay. The actors seemed to be trying or at least had their reasons. But altogether something felt flat about how it all came together and the movie wasn't very enjoyable or memorable. I don't know what went wrong but I blame the script.
The Ridiculous 6 (2015)
Being kind
I didn't come into this movie wanting to dislike it. It's not that I hate it but there were just no redeeming qualities; nothing to really laugh at, nothing smart, at times there was just something off to tell you this wasn't a carefully crafted cinematic experience.
Even after people hated Pixels we found it okay... but this movie was a new low. I think it's just his dour expressionless face and empty monotonous voice overs through the first half and then the end half. I get that he's not meant to be happy but still it really grated over time.
I really don't recommend this movie. I asked my partner what they think and she said a 2. I felt the same, and we are being kind.
Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)
Worst superhero movie so far
I'm a big fan of the Avengers, Captain America, and Iron Man movie franchises, but everything about this particular movie sucked.
When the movie started immediately in "action mode" I had a suspicion that plot and character development were going to be thrown out of the window. When character after bland character gets introduced and then completely ignored (with some poor acting to boot, especially from the Olsen sister) my suspicions were confirmed.
I love James Spader but I don't think he was the right choice as the voice of Ultron. I'm not sure if it's his delivery or the poorly scripted and flat dialogue. What we're left with is a cookie cutter and powerless "I'll get you next time!" Gargamel caricature.
The only kind of character development I saw attempted was with Black Widow, but not as a person, instead as a romance. Ridiculous. Throughout the movies Black Widow has been treated as mere T&A in a body suit so trying to pour on a quick sob story in the context that now she wants love - it left an extremely bad taste in my mouth.
All in all extremely disappointing. Even more disappointing a lot of people ate it up with a spoon and seem to think this kind of movie is a 7! How!
Accidental Love (2015)
A real turd of a movie
I thought this would be a comedy or a romance. Instead it was a boring turd of a movie that is neither. I have to wonder what the scriptwriters were thinking. Are they 12 year olds?
The kind of jokes here are:
* A woman forcibly sleeping with a man because of her physical illness. Ha ha!
* Two male characters who are also physically injured but it's not taken seriously either. Because guys want sex right!
* And two leading males who are also garbage characters that just want sex.
Real classy Hollywood. What a shameful piece of crap.
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)
Not worthy
I really wanted to believe in this Spider-Man. After the reboot the first movie was okay though I still personally prefer the McGuire trilogy. But this movie ate dirt.
It feels unedited. There are moments that drag on where you have time to wonder what the hell they are doing and how this is contributing to the plot or character development (short answer, it isn't). The moments where we see some genuine interaction between Peter and Gwen feel tainted by the same thing.
The "romance" of the two is selfish and driven largely by Peter's wants and ego. I didn't like it at all. And as for the rest of the movie... most of the motivations were just off or not there at all.
I gave it a 4 because I feel 5 is too generous. I might re-watch a 5 movie again, but I won't be watching this one again.
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)
Decent
I quite liked this movie overall but once you dissect it into its components there's a lot left wanting.
1. Keanu is the high point. Connelly only provides a passable performance.
2. There is some bad product placement. It's so obvious, it's only a second, but it sucks.
3. Jaden Smith would be best in a movie about a kid who falls down a well and gets forgotten. I don't understand his purpose in this movie, and he phoned it in.
4. The ending could have used a bit more effort. So everything is shut down but humans are provided zero guidance on what we can and cannot do in the future. It would be pretty bad for us knowing someone was watching ready to strike us down even if we try to improve ourselves in green ways.
It could have easily been better but at the very least it didn't have a stupid romance plot or something else dumb and unnecessary. Jaden alone deserves having 1-2 points taken off though.
Arthur et les Minimoys (2006)
Shovelware with the acting of a dead parrot and a story to match
I kind of liked Highmore until I saw this snore fest, Jesus, his acting was completely overdone and unbelievably bad, almost like he was trying to tank the film on purpose.
We made it to the 40 minute mark before skipping ahead to the end, seeing it got better, and going back to finish it properly. Hence the addition of 2 marks to the 1 it would have otherwise gotten. I feel like giving it a 4 would be too generous.
The characters are ugly and regarding the plot every single set piece is ruined seconds before it happens. "Oh I hope X doesn't happen." Well it's going to happen right now. "If you see someone..." Well they will see someone right now. Great writing...
Filled with sexual innuendo and a guest appearance by Snoop Dog playing the exact same fake and sleazy character he does in every single movie, this movie is a real turd. Avoid.
The Book of Life (2014)
Refreshing
If the eye candy doesn't win you over the surprisingly solid plot definitely will. There is so much to like about this movie; adults can sit back and enjoy without that dreaded "kids movie" feeling that your brain is going to drip out of your nose.
For the most part the characters feel real, as are their challenges and decisions. Meanwhile a cool and refreshing take on a rarely told story is spun against a variety of colourful locations.
Songs? It has them, usually custom versions of hits you'll have heard before. I wouldn't say that you can sing along to them but they do seem appropriate, and show the movie is comfortable having a nice tongue in cheek laugh at itself.
I took off two stars because I think the way the movie starts and ends wasn't really necessary, and one of the characters is just too easy to dislike and too difficult to identify with (possibly over-moralising).
But overall it's very worth a watch.
Jack et la mécanique du coeur (2013)
Awful, nonsensical, and cruel
It takes a lot for me to sign up to IMDb and review a movie, but I had bad feelings about this movie from the opening, then stopped watching at 30 minutes in and jumped to the end to see what happens.
In summary the movie is about a boy who's mother leaves him, has his heart taken out, told never to fall in love, gets bullied terribly, when he stands up for himself his foster mother gets thrown into prison and dies while he is on the run, and his girlfriend neither loves him or trusts him also leaving him to die.
All wrapped in musical numbers where at age 11 he sees a girl for the first time and sings about tearing off her clothes with his teeth.
The movie looks pretty. It sounds interesting. But I have fairly low standards and couldn't watch through this tripe. Neither for kids or adults I don't know who the audience is but they are not of this Earth.