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Clown (2014)
Dear lord is it predictable
The premise is simple and easy to understand. It's the execution and actors that in the end totally ruin this otherwise decent idea of a movie.
The actors deliver a (mostly) decent job at trying to make the movie entertaining, however they fall flat when it comes to the child actors. I know they're not close to being as experienced or talented as the adult actors and actresses but holy f*ck were they horrible and annoying.
The monster isn't particularly scary either. It's a run of the mill rubber-monster with too much gore and blood and too little attention to detail.
*spoiler* Worst of all are the characters themselves. You kind of feel for the "main" character that puts on the suit and goes through all the sh*t that comes with it, however the female lead I absolutely cannot STAND. She's annoying and just plain stupid. The grandfather character goes into the same category. The actor doesn't help with the fact that he delivers his lines terribly.
In the end, it was a predictable movie without a whole lot of substance and just too much focus on those fake "jumpscares" where they set up an atmosphere of "You're going to be spooked in a second" where after it's a main character jumping OUTTA Nowhere to scare the main protagonist for no reason WHATSOEVER. I hate when they do this in movies.
Sorry to say, but I can't give this more than a 3/10. The only saving grace was that the production value in itself was decent.
Finders Keepers (2014)
Hands down one of the worst movies I've ever seen.
Want clichés? This movie gotya covered.
Want good old Micheal Bay inspired editing? Slowmotion and explosions.. constantly.
How about a child that wont stop screaming? Yeah sure throw it in there.
It's got stale acting, a plot that has been seen a bagillion times already. Want to see this movie? Go pirate it. It's not worth any kind of money.
Oh and just for the sake of comedic relief (also why I've included this review with a spoiler warning) when the Mexican plumber randomly checked the pipes and said that "taking someone else's (whatever the hell he called the doll) means bad luck" and walks away, I was certain that I was going to have a good chuckle at this movies terrible writing.
Wish I could give it 0/10, but a 1 is a 1.