AttorneyJenn Reviews

Easy to Learn, Hard to Master: The Fate of Atari (2017)

The Narrator is RUINING the Documentary

[2/10 · 23 July 2022]

It could have been great, but we're watching it now and I'm not sure we'll be able to get through it because of the HIDEOUS narrator. I can't think of how to truly describe how awful he is. It's bringing down the whole piece. Actually. I'm turning it off now. I just can't....

Now I know why the main screen gave the "resume" option. We didn't remember starting it before but clearly, we couldn't suffer it the first time either. It wasn't even good the second time around to serve as background noise to a hot dog and mac n' cheese lunch.

Hit me up when they pull this apart and re-edit it with a new narrator with new dialogue.

Dirty Rotten Cleaners (2021– )

ACS needs to go

[4/10 · 16 June 2022]

They were all about gratuitous self promotion, they painted over black mold... I'm just not impressed. If you're looking for a Hoarders fix, this show isn't the solution.

Night Sky (2022)

Slow but lovely. It serves as an escape from this world.

[8/10 · 12 June 2022]

My husband would give it 7/10 because it was so slow and while I can agree with his assessment, I was able to look past it for now (I admit I hope Season 2 picks up the pace). We are 41 and 42 years of age respectively and it is nice to see the leads not being in their 20's. At the same time, it breaks your heart because the reality our seniors face, as will we soon enough, is addressed on screen. While much of it was melancholy, it was refreshing for the creators to tap into a concept that hasn't be touched since Cocoon. The slower pace, however, better explores fact while weaving in fiction in such a way that it becomes easy to get lost. Unlike other shows, this one leaves a little bit deeper of an impression because of the substance of the content. I almost felt woozy after finishing the series. I do hope Amazon gives the show a second season. I also ask that Amazon give the creators notice of how much time they have to work with so that the story can be told without the disservice of an abrupt cancellation.

The Batman (2022)

A snooze fest that reminds us why Marvel is king

[1/10 · 23 April 2022]

Bad writing: I didn't care about anyone or anything. Michelle Pfeiffer was by far the most interesting Catwoman in both script and acting. Batman was a sissy who was only okay with violence as he saw fit;

Bad acting: Catwoman wasn't so phased about her girlfriend dying and Batman's dramatic, breathy delivery of lines was laughable;

It was too long: all that time and yet nothing exciting happened in it;

Bad visuals: Catwoman looked cheap, Penguin's prosthetics were obvious and Batman's car was made to appeal to little boys who would never have sat that long through this crap fest;

...honestly, I'm bored reviewing this boring movie. Let's put a Marvel flick on now and leave this mess that is always DC behind. (Exceptions: the first Wonder Woman and Bird of Prey.)

Murderville: Murder by Soup (2022) Season 1, Episode 4

Painful Episode, Had to Turn Off.

[1/10 · 5 February 2022]

We were so excited to see cutie Annie but she just sat on a bump on a log. Or, if you prefer, a deer in headlights. She was just wide eyed, terrified and frozen. Poor Wil really worked his butt off trying to help her but his efforts were to no avail.

It's the only episode we had to turn off because it was too painful to watch.

The Gilded Age (2022– )

Lost points for Cynthia Nixon's acting

[8/10 · 28 January 2022]

Watching Cynthia Nixon was like seeing Robin Williams play an old woman in Mrs. Doubtfire except that Cynthia wasn't trying to be funny in her overacting. It is an over the top poor performance and she keeps reminding me I'm in my living room watching tv: it is impossible to lose myself and my surroundings such as I can with 1883 wherein the whole world melts away for an hour .

Kudos to the casting of Christine Baranski, however, who is so convincing and deliciously enjoyable to watch for such an otherwise unlikeable character. I believe Carrie Coon will also prove the same in time.

As for the rest? Meh. Indifferent.

Yellowjackets (2021– )

So Sloooooooooow

[5/10 · 26 December 2021]

First two episodes were good enough, but for those following I started dozing off. If it were just one season comprised of 10 episodes, I'd still be bored. Knowing, however, that there will be multiple seasons is unfathomable. It should have been a six episode mini series (aka "limited series") to keep the story tight and interesting.

Metal Shop Masters (2021– )

Get real judges who know the trade

[6/10 · 17 October 2021]

I don't care about the swearing and the fact they had more female contestants than is proportional to the trade but I draw the line at the judges / host. They clearly weren't the most qualified to be on the show. Their original commentaries often missed the mark and their scripted comments reflected the worst of what reality tv has to offer.

Bring back Ivan, Tom and Rae to judge. They each bring a unique perspective the show would benefit from in the future. And perhaps they'll do a better job explaining the challenges than that of predecessors past.

Sam & Mattie Make a Zombie Movie (2021)

A must watch for anyone with a soft spot and a sense of humor

[9/10 · 11 July 2021]

My family enjoyed every minute of both the documentary and movie which individually were great but together, made for an amazing experience. Sam and Mattie are such bright young men with a wicked sense of humor! We enjoyed learning about their lives, their family and friends, the obstacles they overcame professionally in order to make this movie, how the film was influenced by real life events and how folks rallied around them to make their dream a reality. Who knew this is just what we needed to renew our faith in humanity: Sam and Mattie's Spring Break Zombie Massacre.

Cracked Up (2018)

More painful than the incoherent ramblings of a stranger at a nursing home

[1/10 · 15 June 2021]

There is nothing linear or discernible about this documentary of randomness. It's hard to care and even more difficult to watch when the subject matter is entirely unclear. A painful watch for entirely different reasons than they would want you to believe. A hot mess of a "story".

Shameless: Father Frank, Full of Grace (2021) Season 11, Episode 12

Was as fulfilling as the Game of Thrones ending

[1/10 · 11 April 2021]

A phenomenal let down and disservice to the fan base. It was nonsensical, offensive and leaves me with the same shocking disappointment the final season (and episode) Game of Thrones is now famous for. The path of gold that lead us here is now tarnished and turned to fool's gold. 11 years wasted following this pipe dream.

McMillions: Episode 4 (2020) Season 1, Episode 4

Unnecessary and boring

[1/10 · 25 February 2020]

This episode and much of the last one makes clear that this should have been a three part series at most. But the cash cow dictates that if three episodes are good, six are better. Unfortunately, that doesn't hold true for quality because it's horribly boring with only a nugget of pertinent information every now and again. An A+ documentary just dropped to a C.

SpongeBob SquarePants: SpongeBob's Big Birthday Blowout (2019) Season 12, Episode 13

The scenes with the voice actors make the episode

[9/10 · 5 October 2019]

Honestly, most of the episode was cringeworthy and too terrible for even small children to laugh. But, for those of us adults still forced to endure the show, the scenes filmed with the voice actors playing alternate versions of their characters made viewing all worth while. I would encourage the writers to expand upon those scenes and make a full length episode in the same spirit. Thank you for the brief taste of something truly enjoyable and different.

Shazam! (2019)

Another DC disappointment

[6/10 · 13 August 2019]

Another DC disappointment but then again, besides Wonder Woman, it's the only kind of movie they make. I felt like I was watching an episode of Power Rangers which I never watched even as a child because it was so ridiculous. The difference is, Power Rangers didn't take themselves seriously. I don't think DC means to have terrible effects (particularly the 7 deadly sins) and writing. I know this is a kid's but that's exactly what it is. There's very little subtle, snappy humor that will keep adults entertained. Between terrible acting (save Zachary Levi), terrible script and terrible effects, it's just a cheap Nickelodeon-like superhero take on Tom Hank's "Big".

The Handmaid's Tale (2017–2025)

Put the viewers out of their misery.

[1/10 · 18 July 2019]

Please, a mercy kill to put us out of the prolonged misery we are suffering. Everyone complained about the ending of Season 2 and yet the writers upped the ante and made Season 3 worse. They are sadists who take pleasure in the sheer boredom of the tired fan base. I expect this show will last another 20 years for that very reason, focusing on quantity instead of quality.

The Handmaid's Tale: Heroic (2019) Season 3, Episode 9

Put the viewers out of their misery

[1/10 · 18 July 2019]

June should have used the scalpel on every viewer to put us out of the prolonged misery we are suffering. Everyone complained about the ending of Season 2 and yet they upped the ante and made Season 3 worse. The writers are sadists who take pleasure in the sheer boredom of the tired fan base. I expect this show will last another 20 years for that very reason, focusing on quantity instead of quality.

Blown Away (2019– )

Agenda driven disappointment

[5/10 · 17 July 2019]

This show accidentally got turned on as I tossed the remote to my husband. At first, not knowing, I laughed and asked him why he turned THIS on. Then, I proceeded to question who in the world would watch a competition about blowing glass?! Apparently, 5 episodes in and concluding around 1:00 a.m., the answer is US! We immediately finished the last few the following day after work. Prior to the finale, I hadn't read the comments but saw the show had an average bad "score". Having seen the ending, now I know why people were upset and thank goodness the not-so-hidden-agenda wasn't lost on the general public. I'm not sure I can add to the insightful comments that were already made, but I surely voice my opinion in agreement. Programming like this should be an escape from all the nastiness going on in the world right now between politics and politically correctness. We should be focusing on fantastical creative abilities that are so out of this world we find ourselves lost in hypnotic beauty. Instead, I would have thought this was CNN original programming. I found myself frustrated that the art was, at best, secondary to the gender and social commentary. As a woman, I felt this program did our entire gender a disservice.

Game of Thrones: The Last Watch (2019 TV Movie)

What was the point of this again?

[1/10 · 27 May 2019]

If you thought the final season of GOT was pointless or poorly executed, this piece found a way to be even more disappointing. I learned nothing and felt nothing but indifference or a desire for it to quickly be over so I could go do anything else. Really, this could have been about any medieval show and, but for the periodic familiar face in the background, you wouldn't have known it had anything to do with GOT. It was just random clips squashed together to form a 2 hour documentary on...well I'm not really sure. I defer to my earlier observation: pointless. Any high reviews are surely from those who participated in this film or their family members.

Captain Marvel (2019)

The score was plagiarized in concept and fell flat in application

[8/10 · 10 March 2019]

Despite the actors using this movie as a political platform for their personal politics, it was better than expected. My one strange criticism would be the music which, conceptually, plagiarized the synthesizer sounds from Ragnarok and vintage era music (but jumping 2 decades) of Guardians. In application, it fell flat, lacking the beautiful marriage between sound and momentum as was done with perfection in Thor: Ragnarok. This point is highlighted when No Doubt's "Just a Girl" failed to enhance an otherwise epic moment. It might as well have been played off a portable CD-player by someone in our audience. Good songs, missed opportunity.

There are two end clips, FYI.

Creed II (2018)

Young creed is too arrogant to like

[4/10 · 9 March 2019]

I finally saw Creed 2 last night and have decided I don't like it. It took me awhile to pinpoint it but I think I figured it out. I could deal with Michael B. Jordan's character for the first and enjoyed it. But it must be a matter of dosage. To have suffer the arrogance and constant brooding for a second film? That's a hard pass. He lacks any of the charm and charisma of his father, Apollo, and the likable relatability of Rocky. He's just arrogant and insufferable. While real boxers are seemingly much like him, the boxing in the movie is a slug fest fantasy so why not make the character's personality the same? Over it.

Overboard (2018)

Must be bilingual to watch

[1/10 · 15 July 2018]

I LOVE the original and have a tendency to raise a critical eye at remakes. But, when I heard Anna Faris was in it, I kinda freaked a little! What perfect casting! But my joy soon turned to disappointment as I saw the male lead who, even after clicking through IMBD for references, was no one to me. He seemed way too old and I had concerns about whether there could be chemistry. After seeing the movie, not only did my doubts come to fruition but my disappointment was amplified. Worse than the casting was the fact that lengthy, SIGNIFICANT portions of the movie are Spanish. It's like having built in commercials to the movie because you have NO idea what the heck is going on so those moments are an opportunity to leave the room for a snack or restroom break. I don't mind some of the tweaks to the storyline but these two egregious errors are so obvious, I'm wondering how the heck they ever occurred in the first place. It's like a factory shipping out candy bars without the wrapper. No one noticed? Well the consumer does and thanks, but we'll pass for something different that's more palatable.

Making Fun: The Story of Funko (2018)

Nonsensical rambling that will leave you scratching your head

[5/10 · 29 May 2018]

It could have been a great documentary but it leads the viewer down a rabbit hole where, upon reaching bottom, leaves them scratching their head saying "how the hell did we get here?" I love the series The Toys that Made Us and unfortunately, this is a far cry from fun, clear, concise and informative storytelling. It's reminiscent of an episode of Family Guy (and I'm not being complimentary) where a bunch of random ideas are thrown into a hat, randomly pulled out and glued together regardless of continuity or necessity. While it started off well enough, you'll find yourself quickly falling down the rabbit hole and likely falling asleep.

Jeff, Who Lives at Home (2011)

Dear Hollywood, please invest in camera stabilizers

[1/10 · 20 March 2018]

Maybe it's a great movie but we will never know. Damn shame too because the cast seems great. But, we quickly turned it off since I wanted to hurl the moment it started because of a constantly shaky camera and awkward quick-zoom every other moment. I felt like I was on a rollercoaster and not watching a movie. Moving on...