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Reviews
Death Kiss (2018)
Death Wish minus the story line
For people who lived around 1970s must remember the movies by Charles Bronson with the title Death Wish 1 to 4. This one is trying to imitate the theme of Death Wish, but minus the story line but with the hero who look very much like the late Charles Bronson...., even the real person's name is Bronzi. Talking about coincidence.
But I have to say, that is as far as similarity is concerned. It seems to me that the vigilante theme is now on the rise, with Bruce Willis on Death Wish, Jennifer Garner on Peppermint. Apparently I put my expectation too high on Death Kiss.
First of all, the title is very confusing...., Death Kiss ? A random killing would be more appropriate and on top of that there is the less famous Baldwin rambling on the radio about some random subject for at least 20 minutes.
There are a lot of shooting...., I don't really understand why all the shooting. And if you look at how the actors handle the guns, I can only assume that they are very very strong. Shooting big guns without any apparent kickback on the hand that hold the gun.
Overall, what do you expect from a B grade movie. I don't really understand why people want to invest money on making this kind of garbage. Don't they have something better to do with their money ?
San Andreas Quake (2015)
The usual craps by Asylum
There are 2 things that you have to keep in mind when you are watching this movie. First; it is made by a company called Asylum and second; don't get excited by the pamphlet which is showing people hanging out on a chopper.
As with all the other movies made by Asylum, you have to understand this is a B grade movie. I don't even know if this kind of movies will see the day they deserve in the cinemas. For a company who has made hundreds of movies, I am really surprise that they have never graduated from the B grade or just quit the business of making movie. Surely they must understand that making a crappy movie will mean loosing money.
There is no logic in this movie, there is no plot and I don't even know what the story is about, except it is about the famous San Andreas Fault. Most of us have seen the picture of devastation in 1906 during the California's earth quake caused by similar San Andreas fault. The whole city was destroyed. But not in the case with this movie. Of course there are some CGI scenes with the collapsed building, broken road, damaged bridges and fires (although I have no idea, why there is always fire) and to complete the danger, a high voltage cable which is floating around to kill people.
It is always a disgraced brilliant scientist which no one believe who developed the method of finding the most important information to support the story. Since nobody believe her, our hero has to go half across the state of California to save her family. I am not sure who give the background information on the technology, but when your cellphone does not work, logically the wireless equipment also not working ? Right ? Wrong...., because in this movie, your cellphone quit working but your other wireless equipment will also quit working, but not in this case; the wireless equipment that is showing the earth-quake keeps on having the internet connection and feeding the data as well even after the big quake happens.
Of all the things that defy the logic, I would not think that in the earth-quake situation, you will try to go through the underground tunnel to reach a place. I would have thought underground tunnel is one of the most dangerous place to be, but not in this movie. All in all, I know this is a movie and you expect exaggeration on the story, but Asylum is really making this movie with the assumption that most (if not all) the viewers are stupid idiot.
I wonder, whether in real life this kind of movies really has any fans. To copy-cat the movie is okay, but do it with more effort, not just with the attitude of neither here nor there.....
Ardennes Fury (2014)
Me too
Instead of going after the pirates, the Hollywood big guns should go after this kind of movies. It is a disgrace to Hollywood this kind of movies are allowed to be produced. They just see the other Fury which was made in proper way and try to copy in the hope of catching the unsuspected customers to buy a fake. Isn't this worse than pirating the original Fury ? There is no real plot and I don't even know what's in the mind of the producers when they signed up to finance this crap. Surely there must a better way of spending thousands of dollars on better thing other than this shameful halfway done movie. Do not watch this movie if you still have anything at all to do, even cleaning out your front yard is much better way to spend time. I have to give 1, because there is nothing lower.....
The Lost Legion (2014)
What's so difficult learning a little bit of history
What do you get when you combine bad acting and historically illiterate writer ? You get the Lost Legion. I would say that the title of the movie gave you the real impression of the movie itself.... i.e.: lost.
Bad script can be the cause of bad movie, but so is bad acting. This is one of the movie where you have both of them. I am not a history buff, but know enough about the Roman history or at least know where to find the reading material about it. Just in case the director or the writer of the Lost Legion is reading this article, you can find some simple information on the website called Wikipedia.
If you can not or do not want to follow the history line, just name the country on your movie some "abracadabra country", that way you don't insult the intelligence of the people watching your movie and nobody can complaint that the director or the script writer are quite illiterate in history.
Forget about the Roman army, there is no such army on this movie, not even a CGI army. The setting was barely enough to justify as a screen setting and the green-screen action were done so badly that you can actually see that the background is coming from some other movie.
My suggestion is that if you do have the money to spend, give it to the homeless guy on the street. And if you have the time to spend, sitting in your backyard doing nothing is still better than watching this crap.
Age of Ice (2014)
Is there anything lower than B-grade ?
When you see the title, you would expect something like me-too movie with was following The Day After Tomorrow theme.... Ice, frozen world and all the rest. You will be very very disappointed.
Let me begin by saying, if there is a rating lower than B-grade, this movie should be granted this grade. It is a science fiction story, but the whole story is to awful to be considered as a movie. All the actors/actress do not seem to have a clue on how to act properly on a movie. A grade 5 kids show, might be better to put it bluntly.
You have all the standard ingredients of a movie, a family with 2 kids, one boy and one girl. The boy is of course very smart and the girl is so lame just like the standard movie story. The father is a super hero who knows everything and mother is a worry freak woman who always on the verge of a mental breakdown.
Anyway, the story happens in Egypt, but you have to expand your imagination to fit into this movie. You have snow in the desert; this is real thick snow like the one in the Alps, then you have scenery of the Rocky mountain in Egypt ??? And I just realize that during the disaster time, you could flag an airplane just like a taxi and they will stop to pick you up. How stupid is that ?
I could go on and on with all the stupid details on this movie, but that would be a waste of time for me to write and for you to read. Enough to say that this is one of the worst sci-fi movie I have ever come across. One thing I could not understand is that why would anybody make this kind of movie ? What is their motivation ? Money or just plain stupid.