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Alice_Robersen
Reviews
The Humans (2021)
Why you shouldn't watch if you're unmedicated
The Humans reminds me of a rich film school student that gets an idea, and has her daddy's connections fund it. The film is bloated in dialogue with camerawork focused on such irrelevant shots and drowned in off-camera audio, that you're thinking it's maybe something with you, but wait, it's not because the editor weaved in pointless B-roll to hide what a rubbish film it is. On top of that, the writer and director must have been on such performance medication that he she thought it was great. This film is a mess, and 1-star is gracious. I have never seen a bad A24 film, but finally the little rich kid, that knows nothing about life, had to mess it up for a great studio.
Est - Dittatura Last Minute (2020)
Dry story, lack of talent, and poor editing and direction
Dry story, lack of talent, and poor editing and direction make this story struggle to be anything but a film worthy of notice. Most of the film seems forced. The talent are hardly actors with any sincerity. Overall, it seems the film was ruined by the auteur, making poor decisions throughout the film.
Love, Death & Robots: Jibaro (2022)
Truly Oscar-winning stuff
One of the very few short films that makes one have the full invested emotional connection of a cinematic feature-length film. Some feelings I had while watching: haunting, alluring, captivating, romantic, and frightening. Deception, greed, intrigue, misunderstanding, incompatibility, loneliness, love, hate, and regret. The landscape and world created was captivating as well as the musical score and visuals. This is a short that one can really share with friends and family and watch over and over again. A master work indeed. Congratulations to the incredible team with the foresight and abilities to make this come true. Incredible!
King Richard (2021)
If only it was a good story with solid execution
The story was mediocre, and quite frankly the lead and supporting talent was forced. Why force the story?? It makes me think nobody in this film knew it and was just happy to be in front of the camera. Poorly played for an OK story to begin with.
Night at the Eagle Inn (2021)
Abysmal acting only supported by equally abysmal directing
Abysmal acting only supported by equally abysmal directing. I should also throw the writer under the proverbial bus as well. The actor twins begin and end the film with the viewer cringing their armchair for dear life. Please save yourselves this irreplaceable time in your finite lives.
Red Notice (2021)
REMINDER: Gal Gadot still cannot act
REMINDER: Gal Gadot still cannot act. The film has 6.4/10.0, which is impossible if humans are watching. IMDb, chimpanzees don't qualify to watch films. This film makes no sense. Over forced jokes or lack thereof. Only Ryan Reynolds holds his own but does this film only for the money as the script is deeply insulting and *NOT* funny. And oh, Gal Gadot still CANNOT act!
Monster Hunter (2020)
Talent wasted on a derelict juvenile story
Wes Anderson's worst. This story is so linear the it tickles the monkey brain in all of us. Don't give into it. Acting was superb from all main cast, but supporting lower cast was a pack from the overactors guild. Regardless I tried to give it a three, but this movie continued to show how it doesn't respect the audience's brain. Overall a really poorly written and poorly executed story.
Greenland (2020)
Missed the real point of making such a film
Shame on the writer and director for missing the point of making such a film; turning it into a marriage struggle story while a cataclysmic event occurs. The pathetic use that "only" the U. S. military would save the day for Americans only. Total made-for-TV rubbish. Find some real sci-fi. This is more of a TV romantic-drama.
End of the World (2018)
Keeps getting worse. Fail on all points.
CASTING 1; COSTUME 1; ACTING 1; WRITING 1; EDITING 1; DIRECTION 1
So the film, as another user stated, progressively gets worse. It is unintentionally comical because clearly the director and writer have no life experience. Strangely it was watchable through the end, but I was in some pain for a while, like maybe last 40min. Regardless it got so bad, that sometimes I burst out laughing, like even when some people died. Just below a horrible film. 1-star for sure.
The Grudge (2019)
Andrea Riseborough almost singlehandedly ruins the film
Andrea Riseborough almost singlehandedly ruins the film, but the direction and casting gave great support in this catastrophe. Are tattoos part of the character? No, I didn't think so, so well done discussing with makeup or VFX. The way she holds a gun is simply impossible to conceive for a highly-trained police officer, yet because she did no research for the role, she thinks it works and the director was sleeping on the job. The fuel in the gas can??... What was it a mobile fuel station? Soundtrack came from the bottom of the licensing barrel of SoundCloud. I'm disgusted Screen Gems picked this up. What has happened in the film industry.
Vivarium (2019)
Keanu Reeves didn't ruin the Matrix in the same way Eisenberg didn't mess up this one
Regardless what you think of Eisenberg, this film was so incredible that his performance couldn't put a dent in the story. Imogen as supporting actress was super solid.
This is a wonderful film that spins quantum theory with a cuckoo, and makes a mind-bending horror from it. It feels akin to The Lobster with its weirdness. I believe much of it is because of the influence of Danish film culture, but it might be self-standing. I watched it recently and would watch it again. Very lucky Amazon Prime actually had this title as their are so many bad films on that streaming rubbish.
The Curse of La Llorona (2019)
If only the mother cared to act
Lisa Cardellini's performance as the mother lacked sincerity and a true feeling of being present and in the moment. The film would have gotten another star if it wasn't for her substandard performance.
We Are Boats (2018)
Editing for molasses
OK, so there is no editor attribution here. Why? Probably because the writer-director did it himself, or the editor didn't agree with the director's choices. The cuts were way too long, offering not enough story to have them that long. Main actress was solid as so was most every other cast except the bartender. The writing seemed a fit for Lifetime TV. I cannot see how it why this film has such a high rating. It isn't often I find poor titles on HBO, but yes, here it is.
Aquaman (2018)
Pure blockbuster rubbish and weak script
It took me four sittings to finally finish the film because at every turn, it was so incredibly predictable and gave the viewer no investment in any character nor the story. This is Hollywood thinking that it can make *any* film and because it has profited previously from comics, it can always do it again. Clearly Hollywood cannot. I would like to give it two stars as the VFX, especially with the hair was most impressive, but this film is so atrocious that it's impossible.
The Vast of Night (2019)
Director & editor too cowardly to make a cut
Goes way too long without interest. A worthless expensive film.
The Beyond (2017)
What would happen if aliens visited us?
Think about it, what would really happen if an advanced race came to Earth and why? This film solves one of the riddles. It's for a thinking audience and not those that want an armchair-gripping sci-fi action. There are so many films that put military first because it's a huge consuming demographic. This film doesn't succumb to that perverted norm. Great concept, script, and execution!
Bird Box (2018)
Direction and script broken. Zero understanding of how real life would deal with such circumstances.
Sandra Bullock is extremely hard to look at. She has a simply impossible face, yet Hollywood imbeciles continue to dump millions into her misplaced so-called talent.
Once again a director fails to depict what it's really like in the delivery room and the birthing of a child.
Sandra Bullock clearly shows she doesn't know how or what it's like to be pregnant nor how to be a mom in these odd circumstances.
This movie has such a a high rating because most Netflix subscribers don't know what it was like to actually choose your film from an open market pool of theatrical productions, let alone seen a Criterion Film. Bird Box will waste your life. Save yourself from peril by not watching.
Magellan (2017)
Why bother with a real set. I'll buy at a hardware store and save money. They'll never know!!!
So who are we to thank for the insulting work on the film set?... Mark Rose and Rob York?? Please cease your involvement into filmmaking at once. You care nothing for quality and it shows. The audacity of using regular 90-degree brackets to screw monitors into the wall of which you didn't even bother to cover up the model (Syncmaster). The Ben-Wa balls?? No! The forced romance that was so hard to swallow as it just didn't work on camera because of horrible casting and direction. Shame on you people! You got funded on Kickstarter because KS is loaded with unqualified investors. No real producers would have ever picked up your muck. If you love sci-fi, you'll hate yourself for watching this atrocious film that has no sense of story, quality, nor completion.
Zoo (2018)
Padding a short film to bulk it into a feature only insults the audience
The amount of slack in the film put one in pain while being subjected to the script drivel. The director lets talent stretch out expressions and emoting things so long that you think it's part of a bad sitcom.
I understand locations are expensive, but being confined to an apartment leaves the cinematographer to be more creative, yet she doesn't deliver. We feel bored.
Overall the film is a great success with concept, but fails miserably with script, direction, cinematography, and editing. Pity they ruined a good idea.