Very boring, predictable, slow love story that felt even more out of place than these types of episodes did on Star Trek back in the 90s. Absolutely skippable.
Reviews
5 Reviews
Ferdinand
(2017)
Unusually boring
24 March 2018
Not particularly good. Not funny. Predictable. Even the emotional parts were blunted by the sheer predictability of the whole thing. Rodeo is bad for cows, you say? Noooo.....?
Actually, maybe this movie was meant to be preach against the cruelty that is rodeos. If so, at least it serves a good purpose. Entertaining it is not.
Ferdinand basically watched like it was spat out of a Pixneyworks Amalgam Machine.
Actually, maybe this movie was meant to be preach against the cruelty that is rodeos. If so, at least it serves a good purpose. Entertaining it is not.
Ferdinand basically watched like it was spat out of a Pixneyworks Amalgam Machine.
Colombiana
(2011)
Someone wanted to make a female Jason Bourne but forgot the training part
22 November 2017
The summary pretty much sums it up. The movie watches like a 12 year old boy took some notes from a few recent action movies, then proceeded to create a female Jason Bourne, only without any explanation as to how she gained the ability to fight that way. Literally the only nod to any sort of fighting cred from her uncle, guardian, and stated trainer, was his ability to beat the crap out of someone tied to a chair, and to shoot random cars in front of a school in broad daylight and walk calmly away after the cops had already arrived, for some reason.
Then it's like, fast forward, she's a ninja/special ops/Batgirl I guess, but she only goes after Colombian crime lords. No segue. No explanation. Uh.
You can literally watch the trailer for this movie and see all of the actual story that is in the movie.
All that said, the cinematography is pretty good, the soundtrack is good, and the fight scenes are decently done, although they are basically carbon copies of various Jason Bourne scenes.
Then it's like, fast forward, she's a ninja/special ops/Batgirl I guess, but she only goes after Colombian crime lords. No segue. No explanation. Uh.
You can literally watch the trailer for this movie and see all of the actual story that is in the movie.
All that said, the cinematography is pretty good, the soundtrack is good, and the fight scenes are decently done, although they are basically carbon copies of various Jason Bourne scenes.
Hell or High Water
(II) (2016)
A very basic story stretched razor thin over 90 minutes, and dependent on the actors to carry it
8 November 2017
Meh. Very weirdly convoluted and stretched out way of conveying what ended up being an extremely simplistic and actually quite boring story. Characters and acting were okay enough to be worth watching if you're otherwise bored, but if you miss the entire plot, you haven't missed much. If you're sensitive to offhand racial digs, don't bother.
The Orville
(2017–2022)
The Orville is exactly what Sci-Fi needs right now. It is more real than Star Trek has ever been.
22 September 2017
Let me preface this by saying that I am a Trekkie from way back, all the shows, all the movies, even Enterprise, even the new movies, even TOS. All of it. I know the ins and outs of all things Trek. I also love Star Wars. I used to be an avid reader of the extended universe until Lucas set it on fire. I even like Babylon 5 and Stargate. I like high Sci-Fi.
The Orville is actually pretty good. Not like mind bendingly awesome, but much better than most sci-fi that has been put out in the last decade, if not longer. It's not going for super-realism like The Expanse. It's not going for super-science like Orphan Black. It's showing us what it would look like if you put people like you and me on a starship that was capable of the things we have seen on Star Trek since the 60s, and that makes it amazing.
It's basically Star Trek, except with real people. You know those other bajillion ships in the Federation that weren't crewed by the fleet's best and brightest? The guys who were still flying Excelsior Class ships in the Enterprise-D days? Yeah, that's the kind of crew that you're following on The Orville. And, basically, that makes them infinitely more entertaining. It's not just satire, or a straight parody, or anything like that, and I'll be darned if episode three didn't just just handle transgender politics far better than anything else in Hollywood has to date. No, they didn't handle it like Hollywood left or Hollywood right would like them to handle it. They handled it like actual people would have handled it. It was pretty amazing.
So, if you like sci-fi (not sci-fi parodies), and you like snark, then watch The Orville. It's basically just some people doing some stuff in space, but doing it like real people would do it -- full of sarcasm and opinions and mistakes that come back to bite them.
The Orville is actually pretty good. Not like mind bendingly awesome, but much better than most sci-fi that has been put out in the last decade, if not longer. It's not going for super-realism like The Expanse. It's not going for super-science like Orphan Black. It's showing us what it would look like if you put people like you and me on a starship that was capable of the things we have seen on Star Trek since the 60s, and that makes it amazing.
It's basically Star Trek, except with real people. You know those other bajillion ships in the Federation that weren't crewed by the fleet's best and brightest? The guys who were still flying Excelsior Class ships in the Enterprise-D days? Yeah, that's the kind of crew that you're following on The Orville. And, basically, that makes them infinitely more entertaining. It's not just satire, or a straight parody, or anything like that, and I'll be darned if episode three didn't just just handle transgender politics far better than anything else in Hollywood has to date. No, they didn't handle it like Hollywood left or Hollywood right would like them to handle it. They handled it like actual people would have handled it. It was pretty amazing.
So, if you like sci-fi (not sci-fi parodies), and you like snark, then watch The Orville. It's basically just some people doing some stuff in space, but doing it like real people would do it -- full of sarcasm and opinions and mistakes that come back to bite them.
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