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fstclairejm
Reviews
Better Call Saul: Smoke (2018)
Smoke but no fire.
I've always loved the first three seasons but the sloooow over indulgent moments of the characters "contemplating" tells me they needed filler. I agree with others who say this season starts with a snorer. I'll watch the next episode but if I find myself looking out the window to watch, I'm not going to ever call Saul again.
Birdland (2018)
Fifty Shades of Dead Gray Birds ...
... or more aptly what lands on you if you stood under them before their death.
If Trump is seriously considering tariffs against Canada, he should consider imposing them on films of this ilk produced in Canada for the tax credits or at least prohibit the cast and crew from returning to the States!).
Where to begin? In order of priority (although they should all really tie for first place):
1. Bad acting, uniformly throughout the cast. Indeed, the mounted dead birds should be billed as the stars of this farce.
2. Poorly scripted loaded with overused tropes too numerous to enumerate, stilted dialogue (delivered appropriately by the disasterous cast) and semi-ridiculous "plot." This makes daytime soaps look interesting.
3. Amateurish "soundtrack" apparently created on some kid's abandoned synthesizer (necessary to alert the viewer that the scene is supposed to be "suspenseful"). Canned laughter might have been more appropriate.
4. Stilted pseudo philosophical-environmental dialogue sequences that are beyond absurd and do more to destroy the environment by creating a new "wasteland"
5. Interjections of soft porn bondage that lead to nowhere.
6. Attempts at "witty" dialogue that is, instead, only halfwitted.
On a positive note, the photography is decently shot and the jump cuts in postproduction are okay but I would suggest the DP and the Editor seriously consider changing their names so this albatross will not be associated with them.
I saw this on Amazon Prime Video. There is nothing "prime" about this. It's more like an over-cooked goose that should rate a goose egg instead of a charitable "1". It's truly one for the birds.
Paradox (2018)
Terrible waste of time.
I kept waiting for some plot in this thing and there is none. The only thing it has is amateurish camera work trying to look artistic such as faded camera and other techniques that just don't work in the movie. The acting is amateurish. I didn't even like the guitar music. The camera was shaky and blurry at times and really more aimed at catching scenery that would be a more appropriate for National Geographic. An absolute snoozer unless you like the music and for action you have a guy peeing on a rock or two guys sitting in an outhouse talking to each other. Even the beginning fails by using dialogue between two of them to explain each of the characters. I found myself fast-forwarding to try and find something other than scenery or bad guitar music and I failed. If they wanted to make a bad music video, they may have succeeded. Don't waste your time.
Autumn Blood (2013)
The director is named Blunder. It should have been the movie's title
The director's last name is eponymous with what this movie should have been called: Blunder. The cinematography is decent, hence the one star. Probably the most interesting thing about this film is watching the grass grow faster than the pace of this movie. I think it's an attempt at being artistic which fails miserably. Poor script. No dialogue in the attempt to be artsy. In fact, I thought that multiple actors in this had a condition that prevented them from talking except in single words once in a blue moon. Even the addition of gratuitous violence still left the grass growing as the best part of this film. Don't stick around for the harvest!