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spookydude139
Reviews
Cloverfield (2008)
Get the hell over your need to be spoon fed your horror, then you might like this film
I saw Cloverfield last night and I have a few things to say, so I figured what better place to say em.
First, if you're the type that gets motion sick, wait for the DVD. I'm completely serious. This is a rough film for those who get motion sick and while I want everyone to see it, I don't want it to be lumped in with a nauseous stomach in folks' memories. And if you push it and go ahead and go, just the first 10 minutes of Hud's crappy video technique is gonna have you ralphing in the aisles.
Next, to those of you who are prepared to hate this movie because you think the marketing/game was dumb: Get your heads out of your behinds. It's been a breath of fresh air to have something different in film to look forward to. If you want things to stay the same, keep pumping your money into classics like "This Christmas" and "Alvin and the Chipmunks" and let the real movie fans have the good seats.
Look, Cloverfield ain't a Disney ride type horror film. You don't see people cutting off their arms, legs whatever to get away from a murderer. You don't have some maniac chainsawing coeds into pieces. This is a thinking' man's (and woman's) monster movie. And if you take a few minutes to THINK about WHAT they were trying to convey with this movie, you might just like it a little better.
I have had to listen to so many nasty comments about this movie being "stupid" or "gay" from so many ignorant folks I'm about ready to barf. I'm not disgusted by the opinions these people have. I'm disgusted by their need to have story spelled out in detail in order to enjoy it. The movie going public has, in a large part, become so used to cut and dried stories with a beginning middle and end (which this one really did have if you pay the heck attention to the frigging thing) where everything is cut and dried that when they're shown something like this, which is basically a teeny tiny cut of a teeny tiny portion of an attack on a major city, they don't know how to react and immediately dislike it.
Look people, this movie is the monster film equivalent to 1. If someone had a handy cam with them when heading out on a trip where the plane crashes and kept the thing running all the way into the ground. 2. (I apologize for the 9/11 analogy. Gods, so many people have done this but it's kinda true) If someone had their handy cam with em on 9/11 and taped their own efforts to get out of the building and the cam was found but they weren't.
It's a split second view of what it was like for these yuppies, many of whom have probably never really faced true fear before, who got caught up in this weird, terrifying situation. The beginning is just to get you an idea of who these people are. The rest is a documentary of their fight to stay alive.
That said, I plan to smack the next person who says they didn't see enough of the monster. WTF are you ON idiot???? I bet these people didn't understand Psycho or any Hitchcock film since he didn't shove folks face into the blood and gore.
You get to see plenty of the monster: Just as much as the actual characters saw which is the frigging point! And, to be honest, that last scene where you get up close and damned personal with the monster, that was PLENTY for me! Between that scene and the parasites, I was THRILLED with the monster stuff in this movie.
To be honest, I'm glad some folks hate this movie. Because those who do ain't the kinda people I want to watch movies with anyhow! They're better off in line for Hostel, Saw, Wolf Creek or the horrific remake of Halloween foisted on us by Rob Zombie.
We need to encourage Hollywood to keep making original stories like this (no they didn't invent the monster movie, but at least this wasn't a frigging sequel, remake or other.. it was something someone actually thought up on their own for a change). If we don't, we're showing Hollywood we aren't smart enough to watch original stories and we'll keep getting fed crap.
Give the movie a chance. If you want, go to www.cloverfieldclues.com and dig deep into the back story. No, the back story is NOT a big part of this movie, but it serves to make you really curious as to what's going on. The marketing/game was VERY interesting and probably will spawn some follow up whether audiences pan this movie or not. And I'd love for that to happen.
I'm just sick of the whiners, whingers and downright ridiculous comments calling this movie stupid from folks who have become used to having gore, violence and idiocy crammed down their throats. We've got to get over our need to see everything in full Technicolor every second. Otherwise we're never going to get a decent film outta Hollywood ever again.
Halloween (2007)
*SPOILERS* Rob Zombie fans will love it; Purists will puke
The full review I wrote of this film can be found in the boards. Some comments were cut from this due to length.
Where shall I begin with this film? With the cuts back and forth between poor Mikey sitting on the steps not able to trick or treat while mommy flashes her behind at the strip club backed by "Love Hurts?" Or Rush's "Tom Sawyer" as the backing music for a bunch of trucks pulling into a truck wash? Or the absolutely cardboard acting by Malcolm McDowell?
I own just about every copy of the film there is, including the extended version they made when they added additional scenes after they had to cut a bunch of the original film to show it on network TV.I even like Rob Zombie's films. But this. This, I'm sad to say, was an abomination.
John Carpenter's Halloween was scary because it had an undercurrent of lost innocence. The first killing is shocking not because we see a bloody knife, it's scary because out of the blue, in a seemingly normal family, a little child slaughters his older sister with a butcher knife.
Rob Zombie's Halloween is nothing more than an explanation of how poor Michael became a killer because of his cruddy, dysfunctional family and lifestyle. Instead of going for the almost supernatural aspect of the original story, Rob Zombie decided to look at Michael as a traditional serial killer, complete with the animal killing, the alcoholic step father and the slutty completely useless older sister who may or may not be screwing the alcoholic step father. Following the initial shock of the family killing (which is just typical Rob Zombie shock and gore) he spends the majority of the film focusing on Michael and his time in the institution with Malcolm McDowell showing up as a half baked Dr. Loomis trying to help the poor child until finally he is forced to realize he's dealing with the unfixable. That doesn't happen until a particular killing which was one of many that were so easy to see coming there was absolutely no scare factor to them at all.
One of the worst parts for me was seeing Jamie Lee's Laurie changed. To go from an innocent, frightened teen who was completely caught by surprise by the horror she faced, yet fought back every chance she got to Scout Taylor Compton was just sad. Compton's Laurie was clearly nothing more than a slut in waiting who rather than fighting back screamed and wailed and couldn't figure out how to get out of an empty swimming pool.
Another aspect of this film that was disappointing was Michael's escape from Smith's Grove. There was very little scare factor in it. One of the scariest scenes I've ever seen was the escape scene in the original film. Dr. Loomis and the nurse pull up to the gate at the sanitarium and in flashes of lightning, the viewer can see patients in the white gowns, roaming aimlessly on the grounds in the rain with no lights and no one but the patients in sight. That scene had no gore, yet was absolutely terrifying. And the set up paid off even more when a barely seen gowned figure jumps heavily to the top of the station wagon and begins to terrorize the nurse inside. The set up and the action lead to one of the best lines in horror film ever: Dr. Loomis' almost maniacal "He's gone. The evil is gone from here." It worked because that's what Michael was in the first(and second) film. Pure, unadulterated, almost supernatural evil, motivated by an unstoppable "something" that made him obsessed with finding and killing his other sister.
The much spoken of "twist" just irritated me until I realized that I didn't like Malcolm McDowell's Dr. Loomis and I'd just as soon see him get what he got.
Donald Pleasance as Dr. Loomis was the character that truly made the original films. While some of his great lines were kept in RZ's version Malcolm McDowell just didn't have the same manic, scared pooless appearance when he said them. Donald Pleasance had all the appearance of a man on the edge of terror, almost whizzing himself with fear in the first two films, someone who knew EXACTLY just what sort of evil Michael was yet unable to get anyone else to see the same thing.
Folks, if you're a true Halloween fan, wait for the DVD. Send all those who think they ought to remake a classic just because they can the message that you're not going to spend bucks to see the butchering of a classic film.
For those who aren't die hard fans, you might enjoy this film, especially if you're a big Rob Zombie fan. It has all his typical elements, from the boobs, the blood and the bouncing camera angles to the dim bulb heroes and heroines and manic, overkill death scenes. On that score, I can't knock this film down. It's EXACTLY what I've come to expect from RZ.
I'm sure folks reading this will be hollering "But it was supposed to be RZ's "reimagining of the original." Well, as a true fan, let me tell you, this film did not NEED to be "reimagined." It was great as it was. Let RZ go back to writing his OWN material. It's much better, more horrific and a much better use of his time.
This is yet another stinker remake, a bad idea from the start. If I could get my money back I would, but I just have to chalk it up as a learning experience. I certainly can't chalk it up as anything else. I don't even want this film to put in my collection of "worst films ever made." I liked "Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid" better.
The Last Remake of Beau Geste (1977)
A wonderful memory
Man, I saw this movie in the theater with my parents.. I was so lucky.. they took me to every film they thought worthy...It was hot in Austin Texas and we loved the air conditioning..that's probably why we were there..but my young mind loved the satire (though I didn't know what it was) and man.. Michael York was a hottie!) I am so lucky.. my parents knew what they were doing...
I saw some GEMS.. of course.. we're pretty base, unsophisticated folks so the movies we like won't set the world afire.. my mom and I had a great time discussing how wimpy Leslie Howard was as Ashley Wilkes in Gone With the Wind.. and we still laugh about Hannibal Lecter's Fava Beans... we've seen dogs do the same slurping thing.. at any rate... I have one question to ask...
Why in the HELL isn't this on DVD??? For hell's sake, we've got Mariah Carey's films on DVD.. but we don't have one of Marty Feldman's greatest films on DVD??? This just goes to show that intelligence, taste and class has NO place in the film industry.. not really..
And the sick thing is.. I freakin love movies.. I could spend every day watching films all day.. good God.. Now I have another reason to believe my parents warped me..:) seriously..folks, whether you believe these comments or not (and if I listened to all of the comments on this site, I'd have missed some FAB films) give this movie a chance...and for GOd's sake..if you find it on video.. HOLD ON TO IT.. it NEVER shows up on telly and it isn't on DVD.. and by rights it should.. right alongside Young Frankie and the rest...
At any rate.. I owe Mr. Feldman a thank you.. he gave me some of the best laughs of my life..
Thanks Marty, you're long gone and can't read this.. but maybe your family can.. you gave me some of the best laughs I can remember.. and you didn't have to swear to do it.. thanks, man.. my life is truly better for having seen ya..
Sincerely, Mad Monica
Roller Blade (1986)
Good God..did you take this seriously?
I gave it an 8.. if you're looking for a B movie..ONLY a B movie will fit the bill..the fact that the entire cast is on rollerskates was the first clue that this was a truly a B movie.
I don't understand why folks insist on sitting through B movies and then get mad. You know it sucks. You know it's the chum of the movie world..yet..you keep looking for poached salmon..blegh.. get over it. Watch it for what it is..
Even Mother Speed (wheelchair bound) is wearing skates..holy crap..
My husband's favorite is the "Holy Hot Tub" where all wounds are healed.. with chicks with big boobs rubbing each other.. jeez.. if that doesn't say B movie..nothing does..
Get over it.. watch it for the silliness.stupidity and complete ridiculous premise.. have some FUN..jeez.. it ain't art..tis... crap.. enjoy it!!!!