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Vice Academy (1989)
So. Fricking. Bad. BUT I LOVE IT.
Logic? None. Plot? Threadbare. Acting? Bahahahahaha. But cheesy/comedic gold in the form on bad acting and one-liners? Yes queen. Linnea and Ginger give us the goods in their sassy characters. The words legendary, uninhibited and iconic come to mind. The costumes and the sets are so fun.
I can't preach about Linnea enough, personally. She delivers her lines with the tone inflections of a saltine cracker, but her personality is so darn good that it doesn't even matter. The charisma, uniqueness, nerve and *wink* talents make this movie worth it. It's not good but it's fun. And that's enough for me.
Good lord, I hate how much I love the first two Vice Academy movies.
Star-Crossed: The Film (2021)
As a massive Kacey fan, I say "Meh"
It's weird writing this as a super fan of Kacey Musgraves. I adore her. Have seen her thrice, with my favorite show being Nashville. So to say I wasn't blown away by this truly speaks something.
I am a collector of art-house and horror, cult westerns, spaghetti and forgotten films. I see what Miss Kacey was going for here, but as a linear story and visual album, nothing made sense. Nothing. There was no story, no plot except bare threads in between songs linking THEM to one another, not all songs as a whole album. The visuals, the sets, the nods, the makeup, the costumes? 10/10. Kacey and her crew have never looked better. I enjoyed seeing Victoria Pedretti, SIMONE and Princess Nokia, it's just a shame that the segment they were in held now weight because it didn't link to anything. It was a music video, and the starring one of the visual album.
I wanted more, that's what it equals up to. I just wanted more. I wanted epic, I wanted beauty, and if a connection between all segments was going to be attempted, I wanted it to be coherent. This just felt like a very long music video, with recycled elements from the other videos throughout. I still love you Kacey, and adore this album, but the visual album was a miss for me.
One Piece (2023)
Welp. Guess I gotta read the manga now.
Let's start by saying I have *nothing* against manga. I enjoy it, more darker stuff usually, but I enjoy it. I've never dove into the One Piece series nor had the desire to. After hearing this premier to rave reviews and be called "the greatest manga adaptation" I knew I had to watch it. So I started it. And was hooked by the end of episode one. Did I leave my couch after starting it? That's none of your concern. But did I enjoy the absolute heck out of it? Yes. Yes I did. It was entertaining. Goofy. Serious. Heartwarming. Heartwrenching. And so. Much. Fun. I didn't think I would enjoy a story about pirates but I did. I rank this up with the Queens Gambit in lines of storytelling, care put into the production, care of the characters and the sincerity with the application onto the screen. It drips with sincerity and saltwater. One of the few shows I'd give a 10/10 but well done, Netflix. Well done.
Halloween II (2009)
Ruthless. Brutal. Unfairly hated.
I get it. I get why it's disliked. It's disliked for the same reason the og part 3 was disliked. Because it's different. It's a reimagining and not a straight up remake and was savagely torn apart because of this. It does more right things than wrong, and if taken as a focus on when trauma doesn't build but break and an absolutely relentless and swift slasher flick, it would be better reviewed. Instead people compare it to the original part 2, and that's the mistake. Do I love the original sequel? Yes. Would I have loved to have seen a fully hospital set Rob Zombie Halloween? Yes. But do I love this film for what it is? 100%. It's mean. It's trashy. It's honest and cruel. Definitely deserves a higher rating, which is why I give it a 10 to counteract unfair reviews. It's more like a 7/10 for me, but let's be honest: people suck and this movie deserves better than the critiques shallow people give it.
Seance (2021)
This is ~*not*~ good.
Listen. I REALLY wanted to like this. Like did you see that poster? The ones with the hands in a circle? It looks amazing. And with the creators of You're Next being behind this? I wanted smart. What I got wasn't. I was gifted plot holes. I got a weird occult cop out that honestly should've been the main theme to begin with, or at least 50/50 with the uneventful "slasher" that we got. It could've been more. We had Suki. We had a good setting. We had the backbone. But the bones are brittle and they fell apart. How did Helina get to the tied up girls in the end? Oh she was LeD tO tHeM by a GHOST. Also, when do these girls go to class? Where are the teachers? How did the face scratching scene pass editing like AT ALL??? Whatever. The movie felt like my had too much missing and absolutely no stakes. "My EsSaY" ThE OnLy GiRL I EvEr GoT aLoNg WiTh". Dumb. Those are the motives? Give us some MEAT. Instead of surface level floaters. The only reason you get a five is because violent special effects? 10/10 brutal. Other than that? You wasted Suki. You wasted an amazing idea.
The Righteous Gemstones (2019)
There is heart, truth and scorching satire. 9/10
I have regrets. Over the last ten years, I have strayed away from Danny McBrides work. I partially blame my hatred of his character from Pineapple Express for this as well as the general tone of his humor in most of his projects. I was wrong. I loved his being an addition in the creative and writing team of the new Halloween and when I saw the lineup of this show, I figured why not. I love satire, I have a strange fascination with televangelism (and the underlying shadiness of it all) and the general absurdity of it all appealed to me. Starting it, I quickly found how wrong I was in all assumptions of Danny McBride.
There are absolutely amazing things to be found in this show. Religious corruption is at the forefront here, with paternal failure, sibling chemistry and legalities singing background.
Every episode has golden nuggets laid throughout, story wise. Small details easily missed with so many layers to the humor that just continue to grow.
The breakout factor here is the cast. It is delightfully casted, with each player giving their absolute most. Absolutely lunacy runs amok and I cannot recommend enough.
Kajillionaire (2020)
A Meditation On What Children Do & Don't Deserve.
Let's get this started, and this one is a hard to start.
Old habits can be hard to kick, bad parents? Even harder. This movie was fantastic, will I ever watch it again? Maybe not. It was hard to watch, specifically because I work in a place where we see elder abuse, as well as the intense relationships between parent and offspring. And we don't have enough time to go into self suppression of homosexuality.
This movie focuses on the things that we should learn as children like writing, reading, social behaviors, love, right and wrong. Our lead character, Old Dolio, fits in with her family, or should I say, fits under. She has been taught to steal, lie, do whatever it takes to make a buck. She hasn't been taught tender feelings, how to interact with other people organically, not what parents are supposed to be like. They use her, even to the point of talking to an old man as he is dying so they can find his checkbook.
Dealing with relationships between parent and child, and what that can do to the adult child, this movie succeeds, spectacularly. Dealing with the type of growth stunting that this can cause, is a hard thing to convert, especially successfully. And you've done it. Thank you. Thank you for this. Thank you for this movie.