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Reviews
The Philadelphia Experiment (2012)
Entertaining but awful
This movie is something that you want to enjoy when there's nothing better to do.
Terribly poor plot. There is of course the rising action, the climax and the ending. The movie started nicely, but the plot became terrible afterwards.
Absolutely flat characters. This does not need to be said. The good guys were good guys from start to finish, which is okay, in a way. But the antagonist is the absolute bad guy (girl) from start to finish, even not even learning from earlier mistake, yet making an even bigger mistake. That is stupidity. I wonder if the scriptwriter is a 12 year old boy who watched the original Philadelphia Experiment and is related to the producer.
Extreme government idiocy at its absolute impossibility. Okay, so cluster bombs don't work, it magnifies the destruction 10 times greater, destroying the strike crafts and causes it to teleport above a nuclear reactor, destroying a whole area while dealing not a single scratch on the ship. So then, you ordered a nuclear bomb to be dropped on the shielded ship instead, totally ignoring the fact that the destruction will be amplified 10 times greater.
What, the government has no problem destroying the whole United States and Canada/Mexico? She is a high ranked employee of a defense contractor company with direct phoneline to the President of the USA. A person like that does not get that position and that level of trust if she is stupid and illogical. There is a difference between bullheaded and illogical, this is stupidity. What's more stupid is the scriptwriter who made everyone else feel stupid.
All in all, this is more entertaining than most, but still a terrible movie. The only reason that I'm giving it a 3, is because I like the acting and the pacing of the movie. Everything else sucks. If you're thinking of having some brainless fun, sure, go for it.
Leave your brain at the door.
Sleeping Beauty (2014)
Why did I think this was going to be good?
So, Casper Van Dien (of Starship Troopers fame) decided to feature his daughters in a fantasy story. And he expects us to buy this crap? Where do I start? Poor acting. It seemed like everyone, even Casper Van Dien himself wasn't serious about this movie. From start to finish, all I see are actors and actresses with expressions made of wood, vocal tones as stiff as a rock and movement/positioning as bad as a fish in a fish trap. It's like watching a high school theater production, except those are acceptable because they didn't ask for payment, much, this is supposed to make money. The only actor who actually made an effort (and way better than they rest) was the horrible Prince Jason. I actually cheered for him in all his horridness because the others all sucked.
Bad directing. Not only is one actor/actress make such woeful effort, everyone was equally bad, some more than other, including Casper Van Dien himself. To think that this was Johnny Rico? The positioning of characters and the timing as well as actions of characters also showed that the director didn't have much of an imagination. For example, instead of having the evil queen fire her magic bolts at the guards to push them away, she could've just incinerate them. She's an evil queen, isn't she? Make her evil. This movie made the villain look pathetically powerless and not evil enough.
Weak and corny script. There's not a single line of script that was at all inspiring. Most of them were very much annoyingly corny.
Last, what with the way the actors/actresses fall when the curse started? The way they fell was not at all natural. It was as if they were told to fall down and they tried to find the best position to lie down without feeling tired/sore or feeling pain. You were sleepy, you were supposed to fall, weakened, so fall properly. Not even Casper Van Dien and his wife was at all convincing.
Let's look at the scene at the river/lake (I couldn't tell for sure, they said 'lake', but the lake looked too small to be a lake, more like pond). You stabbed the water monster with a sword, wounding him, but there's not even a trace of blood on your sword? What, do all water monsters have water for blood? The lack of blood is a continuing issue. They killed many things, yet there was no sign of blood on their swords. What? Let's look at the part where the corpses burst out of the ground. Anyone with half a brain can see that the corpses were buried less than 1 foot below ground. Heck, they were probably just put in a shallow depression and then had dirt piled on them, like a new grave, instead of a grave that was supposed to have been there for years.
The narrator did his job well, but then again, his voice was sparse. A good narrator does not tell a good story, at least in a movie.
The only thing I can praise about this movie is the beautiful setting. I can see that much work has been put into making it, but the acting skills of the actors/actresses, the weak and corny script and weak directing make it all worthless.
What are you doing with this piece of crap, Casper Van Dien?