ryanlakomski Reviews

Elevator (V) (2012)

I hate them all

[3/10 · 22 March 2023]

If this movie's goal was to create the most unlikable ensemble of characters of all time, they succeeded. I did not care what happened to a single one of them. I honestly can't think of a better group of people to be stuck in an elevator together, they deserve each other. Every one of them is absolutely awful.

This movie is a ripoff of Devil, but devil did it much better. The plot is stupid and predictable, the acting is over the top, and not at all in a good way.

If I can give any tips it would be to not waste your time on this film. Go watch paint dry or something of that sorts instead. It will be much more entertaining.

The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

Are you joking?

[9/10 · 5 January 2023]

I will never understand how many people had this movie go over their heads. All of these bad reviews are from people who just didn't get the blatantly obvious nature of this movie. That's the only reason that I am writing this review.

Cabin in the Woods is an amazing movie. One of my all time favorite movies. If you are a fan of horror films then you need to watch this movie. It literally pokes fun at every possible horror trope and I absolutely love it for that.

Ignore all of the bad reviews saying "the plot is stupid" or "it doesn't make sense" - these people literally just don't get it. At all.

Old (2021)

Zero character decelopment

[3/10 · 9 January 2022]

This movie is so bad. There is absolutely no character development. I found myself not caring what happened to anyone. It's a good idea on paper but so poorly executed. Thanks, I hate it.

The Disappointments Room (2016)

I cannot fathom how this movie was made.

[1/10 · 8 January 2022]

I don't have anything else to say other than this is literally the worst horror film (maybe just film in general) I've ever seen. It makes absolutely no sense. If you want to see a movie so bad it blows your mind here you go.

The Happening (2008)

What the...

[4/10 · 5 May 2021]

Good concept (taking out the whole stupid earth revolting against humans aspect) but WHAT. IN THE HELL. WAS THAT. The worst writing and the worst acting I've maybe ever seen.

Midsommar (2019)

Are you kidding?

[9/10 · 11 April 2021]

What are these 1 star reviews? Someone posted that it was too "disturbing" for them. That's literally the point? Someone said it didn't have any jump scares so it wasn't good horror? I'm literally embarrassed for the person that wrote that review. Ari Aster is a literal genius and you are all dumb? Idk.

13 Reasons Why (2017–2020)

Season 3 ruined everything.

[7/10 · 18 June 2020]

Season 1 was near perfect. Season 2 was great. Season 3.... WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?! I mean WHAT!?!?

Ani is the worst character. She's a nosy know it all. She narrates the story as if she had known these characters her whole life. It's infuriating. We never really even find out how she became friends with everyone all of a sudden. Clay gave her a tour of the school? And now she has the authority to judge Bryce? To judge Tyler at the spring fling (which she talks about as if she was even there?!?!)? If they're going to get rid of Hannah at least use one of the characters we know and care about to carry on the show? I REALLY cannot stand her character.

And WHY are they trying to make us feel bad for a narcissistic, alcoholic, abusive rapist? Stop trying to humanize the monster that was Bryce. I'm on episode 6 of season 3 and I might have to give up they absolutely ruined this show.

Don't Watch This (2018)

WHAT?!

[1/10 · 16 June 2019]

What just happened? How was this created? Why was this created? I read the reviews so I had very low expectations. The first episode wasn't GOOD but it was enjoyable enough but then..... ???? I don't even have the words to describe how bad episodes 2 and 3 were!

Mother! (2017)

This is not a horror film.

[8/10 · 1 August 2018]

It's an anxiety inducing trip that will keep you on the edge of your seat and knock the wind right out of you. It will confuse you, disgust you, and blow your mind. It is 100% not a movie for everyone... by ANY means. However I enjoyed it greatly and even rewatching it I find it hard to catch my breath.