Change Your Image
iveyswintpartthesequel
Reviews
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007)
Exquisite
Disgraceful is the face of humanity that cannot appreciate the marvelous cinema that Uwe Boll artisnally handcrafted. This movie moved me to tears, made me cower behind my concubine's couch, and brought forth in me such a rapturous, unholy rage that aforementioned concubine was tempted to tranq me to calm me down- and that's just within the first 10 minutes. In the Name of the King is like Lord of the Rings, if LOTR was actually, you know, good. This movie will transmogrify your life like nothing else you have ever experienced. And I mean that literally. This movie is not for the cowardly, or the faint of heart. This is a movie that will shake you to your core. God bless Uwe Boll and God save the King. Diego Montoya signing out.
- Diego Montoya
Caillou (1997)
Caillou: Modern Masterpiece
Listen up, you haters. It's time to bow down before Caillou's bald head. Caillou is transcendent, it will stand the test of time whilst inferior shows, like Twin Peaks, fade into obscurity. Caillou is gripping, empowering, and at times, heartbreaking. Caillou serves as a monument to man's mortality in a post 9/11 world. I think we can all see something of ourselves in his worldly, jaded endeavors. It is a rare event that a show like Caillou comes along. The only show to match it since, to even come close to achieving its greatness, is Charlie Sheen's surrealist wonderland, Two and a Half Men. Caillou is the Kanye West of TV shows. It is the be all, end all. Omar from the wire says, "Caillou comin'!" - Diego Montoya