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jimadam
Reviews
Samurai purinsesu: Gedô-hime (2009)
Cover art is a fraud
No one wears a 2-piece bathing type suit mainly because the film was shot in freezing cold weather. The breath coming from the actor mouths was distracting. Hollywood and Hong Kong is so much better weather wise. There is no real samurai or any type of fighting. It's just a special effects gore fest, where a sword is swung and blood and body parts go flying. And it goes on and on. The story, whatever it was was, is background clutter and doesn't matter as the film makers only want to gross you out. A one trick pony. The specials efforts are gross, not clever. I guess if you are watching the film with a bunch of friends, then the film might work better, as you can laugh at and comment on the gory special effects. I am avoiding anything done by this Director in the future.
I have seen and love Machine Girl. A movie with a real story and clever special effects spaced properly throughout the film and it is just as gross.
Kûga no shiro: Joshû 1316 (2004)
Very watchable, but nothing much really happens
All the women wear identical black halter tops, very nice touch, over fatigues. We really don't know much about anything and the weak ending reveals little. The cat fights are few, brief and tame. I did enjoy watching the film, although the usual WIP conflicts are absent. Not even one female guard.
This film had to be shot in a week or less. There wasn't that many set-ups. Assembly, talking to the warden, bath scene, bedding down, eating, a brief run, stick training and wandering around down below. Perhaps, a couple more scenes, I don't want to give too much away. Not many have speaking parts either. If they had another day to film something, like a riot, or do some explaining, it would have been so much better. They likely ran out of money or time. On the same day I watched Samurai Princess, an awful, brainless and misleading film shot in freezing weather, so Death Row Girls looks good by comparison
Two Tigers (2007)
My Kind of Movie, Loved It
These comments pertain to home video only, as I continue to prefer the big stuff in theaters.
After plowing through Watchmen today and Beowolf yesterday, I really appreciated this movie, as one would appreciate a Burger King whooper. Sure, it is a brainless junk movie, but I like watching the action babes and Andrea Osvart is one hot babe.
I am really tired of bloated big budget confusing movies seemingly with just big special effects and fight scenes comprised of stupid wire work.
Action scenes are limited as are the fight scenes, but at least they are real looking. Mostly, the movie is all about following Ms. Osvart around as she goes about her assassin job. And I will follow her anywhere. Also, the music and Shanghai are highlights, as mentioned by other reviewers.
Let's not take this movie seriously because an assassin should be someone who is very ordinary looking and very forgettable. One final reason to like this movie, is no one has named it the worst movie ever made, yet.
XX: Utsukushiki emono (1996)
You Will Be Bored
I don't think you could make this movie any worst if you tried. I figured a policewoman going undercover to bust a S & M pervert would have some interest for me. But nothing much happens, as she lets it happen to her without much resistance. Her vacant expression never changes throughout the movie. Is this acting? Please do something, say something, anything to give us a reason to keep watching. No action, no acting, no suspense, no movie.
I would like to do a better review, but it was difficult pay much attention, when nothing of interest was happening. The girls are lightly whipped but sport these big ugly scars, nothing much else happens. Not only was her back-up missing, but the budget was missing as well. Ultra cheap looking. Thankfully, very few people have seen this time waster and neither should you.
Superuomini, superdonne, superbotte (1974)
Waited 33 years to see this film
I am a sucker for Amazon films when the ladies are dressed in sexy 2-piece outfits. Just looking for escapism fare, nothing more. So when I saw the video box cover art, I wanted to see it, but it never got much of a distribution in the U.S. Well, I just rented it from Net-Flix. The good news is that all of the Amazons were attractive, and the sexy white outfits showcased their extremely fit bodies. They actually looked liked the cover box. The movie was mostly played for laughs.
The bad news was everything else. The picture quality wasn't up to par, but still watchable. The final big battle was seemingly filmed at dusk and the lighting was lacking. It also seemed to raise up a lot dust. I would have liked to have better seen what was going on because quite a bit of effort and expense was involved. I guess, it would have been too expensive to re-film, so they printed what they had.
In this film, Amazons are considered as bad people for reasons I apparently missed. Although, nice people who not do the things the Amazons did in the 1st 5 minutes of the film.
Meteor (2009)
It can be fixed
I actually liked the first half. The 2nd half was awful. Way too many improbable or impossible situations piled one on top of the other. How did they leave out major earthquakes, destruction of national monuments as everything else was seemingly included.
What needs to be done is cut the movie to 87 minutes. Completely cut-out the family with the female doctor & blonde hair kid. The hospital rescue goes boring on and on. Do we need a spree killer and his role in deciding the outcome of the plant? Actually, more information is needed on the science of dealing with meteors. I am not believing that nuclear tipped missiles can be fired into space.
This was slightly better than the usual SyFy fare, often ruined by dark filming (lack of lighting) and SyFy horrible on-screen logo and promo messages. So just cut the running time in half by cutting the worthless side stories.
Amazon Warrior (1998)
Film is a little better than the picture quality
I am watching this DVD now and the most remarkable thing is the lousy picture quality for a film that is only 10 years old. The quality is what you would expect for a low budget film 30 years old. The main problem is the picture is not sharp, it is a little blurry, not a lot, and would be OK, if again the film was 30 years old. So far, every thing was filmed outside, in the best lighting, and should produce the best picture. The picture quality was good enough to pass NetFlx standards.
As for the film, it is a decent time waster, and I can check it off my list in this genre, as watched.
Maisie Undercover: Shadow Boxer (2006)
Boxing film: No; Soft Core Sex film: Yes
I purchased this film based on the DVD cover art and information on the back. In aggregate we may have 60-90 seconds of lame boxing. The plot is meaningless to the real purpose of a soft core sex film produced by Playboy for their pay channel and for use as an adult film for Showtime or CineMax.
I purchased the DVD at Blockbuster, so the nudity is strictly above the waist. You never have to wait more than a few minutes for the next round of love making. The cast is extremely attractive. Again, the DVD box is exceptionally misleading and it fooled me into thinking I was going to see some hot chick boxing and a crime plot to boot. No No No! I have seen some Playboy films films in the past which tried to have an interesting plot and limit sexual activity to a more reasonable extent.
On the DVD box there is no cast information, director, producer, or any credits whatsoever. Aspect is 1:33 full screen and excellent picture quality. As of today, the rating is 8.2 with 10 votes, which is more deceptive than the DVD box. Trust me, a 4.1 rating is generous and is earned mainly by the super hot women.
It should be noted that sexual films available at Blockbuster are sometimes edited to eliminate all below the waist nudity. So there may be different versions of this "film" available.
Poppies Are Also Flowers (1966)
My kind of film
I really don't care that the majority of people didn't enjoy this film. I thought it was a very watchable escapism film. Nothing complicated or confusing. I think the appeal is more for the 60+ crowd who grew up with the many international stars appearing. The sexy Angie Dickinson was in a featured role. I can't think of a better bad man than Harold Sakata (Goldfinger fame). The international locations and seeing Iran as it use to be.
The version I have runs a tad over 84 mins. The VHS picture quality is quite good. When I first saw this film on the big screen, it ran longer. From my fading memory, the original film had an excellent female mud wrestling scene, something I had never seen before. Well, that scene is gone, not fitting for TV around 1970. Much like the gypsy fight scene in From Russia With Love is mostly cut for TV.
During the film, the UN investigators spiked the opium with a radioactive dose to help follow the shipment. What happens to the ultimate users who ingest this cocktail? Never explained in the film.
At any rate, for us oldsters, seeing all of these stars in one film is a treasure. If you are too young to know these people, then take a pass. This is not a high brow boring film. Just check your brain at the door and enjoy.