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backwoodsgnar
Reviews
The Pope's Exorcist (2023)
The Late Stage Capitalism Catholic version of Marvel movies.
This is a Catholic fluff piece. The whole premise ends with classic *you two priests are going to take on 199 more demons* at the very end. It started off a little strong. They almost set up a good story line but in ever nook and cranny it because a *the church isnt bad, satan made everyone in the church do it* Pretty goofy. What really sold it for being dumb was at the end with a million GOOD ways to end the movie - they made it the most generic ending with 0 nuance. Just...bad. And for anyone whose ever been raised catholic and then actually grew up and realized THEYRE THE BAD PPL it's so stupid and hard to watch. You can see that theres gotta be some non-taxable mo ey in this pile of crap lmfao.
Monster House (2006)
Wow
They way this movie slammed adult nuance into a family movie is totally gross. The cops? Yeah theres a reason why they did that. I'm with the house here 😂 wtf. Burn it all down.
For 2006 even - this is just bad. The old man was LiTERALLY CREEPING AND SPYING INTO THE YOUBG BOYS ROOM. Meanwhile, the young boy says hes spying on the old man AND HIS DAD SENDS HIM A SLY WINK? Tf is this?
The movie goes on to then demonize the wife who was locked in a cage and harassed her whole life. The baby sitter is clearly being sexually assaulted around the kid and then theres some weird child *love* tension? Come on....
Director knew what he was doing and it was effing gross.
The Real World Homecoming (2021)
New Orleans
One star for seeing so many people grow into the best versions of themselves EXCEPT FOR JULIE. She did the same cringey, harassment and borderline being a sexual assaulted in the original New Orleans SEASON......The way they should have just thrown her out immediately will not be forgotten. She literally tried to pin an assault on someone trying to help her. Disgusting. She even admitted to causing drama on purpose, martyring herself for LITERALLY NO REASON. And I bet the very fact people hate her for who she really truly is, is an affirmation to her. WITH Julie's hatred affirmation aside. DAVID absolutely found himself in the years behind and melissa did too Everyone else really didnt change except for being themselves, but older. Kelley I think also had some good adulting moments in the show but damn. They really wasted the best of this reunion on captain karen.
American Horror Stories: Lake (2022)
THE DRIEST episode yet, even with the water
Let me preface by saying Lake Lanier trauma is not for YT PPL to appropriate, cause it sure seems like that what this was trying to portray.
BUT WHAT THE FK WAS THIS ACTING. Alicia Silverstone, I love you and I think you did a good classic mom......but the daughter?
This acting was toast without butter.
Beans, soaked over night, without being cooked and eaten.
Watching it was like trying to consume a freshly sundried brick.
Imagine just plucking handfulls of wheat and eating it without milling.
RAW.....IN ALL OF THE WORST WAYS.
I expected some sort of plot twist because it was so bad.......but there was NO plot twist.
THIS EPISODE WAS INDEED JUST THAT BAD. Lake Lanier cursed it, as it should.
Haunted (2018)
Hard to watch
The editing for this show is so bad that even if the stories are true, it seems like a ton of BS