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tllypj1985
Reviews
The Battery (2012)
WAYYYYYY over rated
I felt obligated to review this movie after reading all of the good reviews for it...
This is a movie that will have you bored to tears, no doubt. One guy is so horny that he jacks off to a zombie, the other guy is so drunk that he seems not to care about anything that happens or is going to happen
Here is all you need to know about this movie. At one point, they get stuck in their station wagon, surrounded by zombies so they can't exit the car. They cover the windows with sheets, then the camera literally sits in one spot in the car for a good 25 minutes ( or longer ) I'm not kidding... the camera stays in the car while these two guys argue, pee in bottles, drink beer/alcohol, smoke cigarettes and talk. Then, one of the guys leaves the car, this leaves one guy to sit there and smoke cigarettes for a couple of minutes. Then, he leaves the car. Does the camera ever leave the car? no, it doesn't
This movie is crap
Joy Ride 3: Road Kill (2014)
This movie sucks bad
I am a fan of the first Joy Ride, I enjoyed the second one but not as much as I enjoyed the first one...
With that being said, I was surprised to see that a new Joy Ride movie was out. I hadn't heard anything about it up until it's release, so I was excited to see it...
Just to save everybody, this movie is trash. The first scene consists of Rusty Nail ( who is now full view in camera and is played by a terrible actor ) chaining two meth addicts to his semi, he tapes a bag of meth to the wind shield just out of their reach. If one of them goes for it, they will pull the chain and drag the other under the semi. They have to travel a mile on the front of the semi and Rusty Nail says he will stop the truck... Well, they go for over a mile, he doesn't stop and of course one of the meth addicts reaches for the bag.. It's just so stupid, it's hard to describe it properly
Throughout the movie there are these annoying cops that are so stupid... I don't know if it's on purpose or what, but these cops are fricken moronic
I suggest to anybody thinking about seeing this, don't. Avoid it. You will thank me later
World War Z (2013)
Bad, Bad, Bad
This movie is the definition of overrated. It has a 7.1 on here right now...
There are a ton of things that don't make any sense in this movie. For example, You have Jerry and his partner on an airplane headed for that HQ.. Somehow, a Zombie is on the plane in a closet and it stays quiet until mid flight. It then pops out, causes panic, Jerry throws a grenade and blows the plane up. Nobody survives... Except Jerry and his partner (LOL) Jerry was using a Sat Phone on the plane and it died. More on that in a minute.
They then start walking, and miraculously find the place their plane was taking them to, even though the plane crashed and they had no map or anything to show where they crashed at.. They walked right towards the building after the plane crash.. (LOL) Jerry is sleeping at the building when they arrive, and somehow, his satellite phone is charged and working after he wakes up (LOL LOL LOL)
There is a part where a bunch of people are in a walled in city, zombies surround the outside. They know by now that noise attracts the zombies, so they play loud music (LOL)
There is a scene where they are trying to sneak through a town and they are riding bicycles with Squeaky Wheels (LOL) Seriously... You can't make this stuff up...
That is just 10% of what is wrong with this movie. To explain the rest, it would take an entire day of writing
AVOID THIS MOVIE
You're Next (2011)
This movie sucked...
I'm not sure how this movie has a 6.5 on here... Was a very, very bad movie. The characters are constantly doing stupid things that make you say WTF? One girl sees a guy upstairs under the bed, so she bolts directly out the front door into the woods ( where guys have been shooting cross bow bolts from ) She doesn't grab a phone or tell anybody that she saw a guy upstairs. Uh, OK...
And they had a "Big plan" to have one of the family members bolt out the door to run past the Cell phone jammer and call 911, basically the family didn't care at all about this girl, they were willing to send her out into danger without caring, then she runs into a wire that cuts her throat open as she exits the door, THEN everybody is upset, even though they were sending her to her death anyway...
There were many times I said WTF is going on, these characters are so stupid! Even the killers are complete weakling boneheads. One chick takes them all out, a killer steps through the window, sees nails in a board below the window and steps on it anyway.. seriously...
This movie doesn't deserve the rating... Just like World War Z... Just like Absentia... Good horror movies are few and far between these days. It's all overrated garbage