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michaelbehan
Reviews
American Horror Story: Monsters Among Us (2014)
Disappointing is an understatement.
This is the most egregious piece of garbage that I have seen on TV since the first premiere of Agents of SHIELD. Maybe worse. It is just plain ate up with suck! We have two wonderful actresses. First we have Jessica Lange who, judging by her accent, is from several places around the world. Sometimes she is from France. Sometimes she is from Belgium and sometimes she is from the US.
Then we have one of my favorite actresses of all time - Kathy Bates. She sounds like she is from Alabama, Alberta Canada. Again - sometimes Alabama, sometimes Alberta, sometimes both. What the heck did they drug these women with?
Amidst an overwhelming cast of "freaks" who are either mildly interesting or provoke the question "Why are you here?", it is just plain not scary. Lobster-hands boy - please leave. You have haunted every season (no pun intended) and it is time to go. If your lackluster acting isn't enough, your 16-year-old looking face with that mouth that never fully closes simply obviates the need for your presence. Moving on...
Okay, so the clown is creepy. Even though he is an obvious rip-off from the 'personalities' of both Michael Myers and Jason Vorhees (though without a kitchen knife or machete), he comes off mildly creepy; at least enough to strengthen my fear of clowns.
The clown is the only part I would consider disturbing, and he only has ~5 minutes of screen time. The other 60 minutes are effectively the worst of Dawson's Creek combined with the worst of the 1950s Adams Family.
I have enjoyed the past 3 seasons immensely. This season has launched with explosive diarrhea. If Episode 2 does not improve then I am calling it quits with this show because I was robbed an hour of my life by waiting for nothing to happen in Episode 1. I would like it to become manifested in human form so I can throat-punch it.
I also apologize to the producers of both Dawn's Creek and Adams Family for not being creative enough to find a more suitable comparison.