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mooby1967
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Imperial Chopper (2005)
The Force is Strong... Bike Builders are stronger
IMPERIAL CHOPPERS Copyrite: 2005 (NR) Not Rated Stormbringer Films Filmed in Colorado
*The CHARACTERS *
1. Paul Scuttle Sr. -Founder of Sith County Choppers. Likes to yell & scream at his employees specially Paulie Jr. Makes a deal with Darth Vader to create a special speeder bike.
2. Paul Scuttle Jr. aka Paulie - It's GUMBY!! Son for Paul Sr. & chief designer for Sith County Choppers. Designs Darth Vaders speeder bike. Fixes the engines in the last day.
3. Micheal Scuttle aka Mikey - The shop village idiot also brother of Paulie. Screws up almost everything.
4. RTD4 aka Artie - Shop tech. droid. Shocks the other employees for fun. Depressed when Jonny bites it.
5. Brobacca - Resident wookie. Chief welder at the shop. Has problems keeping his hair out of everything.
6. Veedo - Rhodian cousin of Greedo & the sensitive guy in the shop. Vents a lot about Paul Sr. behind his back. Thats is you can understand him....
7. Zuckbar - Shops weapons & engine specialist. Gets irritated by Mikey. Likes to boss Mikey around.
8. Johnny - Shops new trainee. Bites it by Dark force choke & light saber to the gut.
9. Greeda - Rhodian babe that likes to hang on Paul Sr. whenever the dark lord is around.
10.Boba Fett - Bounty hunter that hangs around Darth Vader when he picks up his speeder bike.
11. Chester - Guy in the hologram that annoys Paul Sr. and threatens to send bounty hunters his way.
12. Jawa - Little scavenger guy that is used for target practice by Paul Sr. & Brobacca.
13. Stormtroopers - Soldiers of the empire.. .My God.. Did you ever watch Star Wars?
*The BIG PICTURE*
This is a fan film that has been placed in the George Lucas Fan Film Project and has mad it to the finals.. Not to be bias due to the fact that a good friend of mine helped put this together but i have to say honestly that this film is out right out there..
We start off by meeting the guys of the shop.. We meet Paul Sr. the boss at his Mos Vegas shop. Mos Vegas is where they are located so when in need of a speeder bike, This is the place to go.. Anywho... Lets get on with the story. Darth Vader himself arrives to order a special speeder bike to push fear in all. Well, thats when our heroes get to work..
They argue, they construct, they get things done.. All in all, the bike gets complete.. I don't want to go into too much detail.. The film is about 15 minutes long but well worth the time.. You got to see this film...
*WHAT YOU MAY LEARN FROM WATCHING THIS FILM*
1. Never ask the lord of the sith for his autograph. 2. Jawas are great for target practice. 3. Biker babes in space... YES!! They are out there. 4. Wookies shed more than your cat or dog. 5. Jedi academies have a correspondence program. 6. Real action is at Mos Vegas not Mos Isley. 7. The Lord of the Sith has a bad temper when anyone tries to use his sh*t. 8. Tech. droids get off on shocking people in the ass.
*PERSONAL COMMENTARY*
This film Rocks!!
Well thought off by combining Orange County Choppers & Star Wars.. The characters look as good as any George Lucas film & the special effects are as good considering the budget they must had to work with.
If anyone is looking for serious Star Wars saga in this film... They better look elsewhere. This film was made specially for the comedy of the 2 worlds combined. Anywho... I would recommend this film.. Download it.. Buy it... Just watch this DAMN film!!!
All in all.....
I give it.............. 10 moooos...
Darth Mooby "For GODs sake, let the Moobster dance!" quote: N. Fisher
Clerks II (2006)
Would you like Fries with that.... HEEHAW HEEHAW!!!!
CLERKS 2 Rated R Copyright: 2006 View Askew Productions Filmed in New Jersey
***** What you may learn from watching this film ******
1. Donkeys like to take it in the ass... No pun intended...
2. It's not the Return of the King; It's the Return of the Jedi.
3. Christian teens get turned on by Interspecies Erotica.
4. Guys can have the name Kelly.
5. Watch out for the Troll that lives in your girlfriend's poo poo. He may bite your junk off if you try to invade.
6. The Transformers are GoBots from Satan.
7. Terrorist wants to destroy your local convenience store.
8. Take back the word "Porch Monkey" today...
9. Today's teen girls are into everything. especially they love it when you go ass to mouth.
10. Always check the picture when you order an erotic show off the Internet.
***** Personal Commentary ******
I guess I'm bias but I gotta say... I loved this film!!! It was truly a great way to continue the saga from the original Clerks. The passion was there.
It had everything from great Jersey scenes & backdrops to out right raunchy humor. There just wasn't a bad moment to this film. I even got a kick out of the dance number.
Kevin out did himself in this film. It had the maturity of his last film Jersey Girl with the humor of Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. A very well rounded film... I even cried at the end when they faded away into the black & white film. Sorta the way I cried when they ended Star Trek Deep Space Nine.
I give this film...... 10 mooosssss.... Did you expect nothing else...
That's my story & I'm sticking to it....
Mooby
"For GODs sake, let the Moobster dance!" quote: N. Fisher
Poseidon (2006)
I Escaped New York.... Why can't I escape this lousy ship.
POSEIDON Rated: PG13 Copyright: 2006 Warner Brothers Pictures Filmed in Hollywood California
******** The BIG Picture *********
Our story begins aboard the great ship Poseidon, a cruise ship bound for nowhere. We meet Dylan who is running around the decks of the ship. He meets Elena & tells her where to find her quarters. WOW! We then meet Robert who walks in on his daughter making time with her boyfriend Christian. He gives her this big speech about not feeling comfortable about their relationship. Christian stands there with his thumb up his ass.
Anywho
. We skip all the way to New Years Eve in the dining hall. Dylan is gambling against Lucky Larry, & Robert. They are throwing down high stakes trying to show who is the bigger moron. "You are with me so far right
" We now meet Richard who is buying all his pals expensive wine. Then he tells them he lied to them. Lied? About what? We never find out
.
Anywho
The bridge crew has all this great technology; I mean state of the art. They are watching the monitors & nothing. Clear weather for miles
All of the sudden they see through a pair of binoculars a great tidal wave. They try to turn the ship only to get hit. Unreal
Anywho, the ship starts turning over, people start falling everywhere, They fell in the kitchen, the disco, the dining hall, my ass, you name it. Well. The captain tells everyone that a rogue wave hit the ship. He also states that this is normal but can be deadly.
Is he f**king kidding
I think Captain Stubing would have come up with a better excuse than that. What a DUMB ASS!
Anywho
Let's wrap this up
Our heroes (losers) start to climb there way to the bottom of the ship. Mainly cause the gambler, Dylan knows they there is a escape hatch in the propeller
How does he know this? He's a gambler. It's common knowledge for graduates of GA (Gamblers Anonymous). They make their way with justifiable sacrificial deaths according to Dylan, but hey, he saves the kid
AWE!!!!
They make their way out only to find a life raft just waiting there for them to use equipped with a flair gun
Dylan fires the flair & within seconds, The Coast guard arrived to save the day
The end
. Thank GOD!
******* What you may learn from watching this film ********
1. Cruise ship captains have no friggin clue what goes on aboard their ship.
2. There's got to be a morning after
To flush your $9.50 down the toilet.
3. On this weeks episode of Six Feet Under
Freddie Rodriguez's film career.
4. Gamblers know a lot about naval construction. But nothing about personality.
5. When death comes between your life and the waiter's life
Let the waiter die
6. Technology aboard the 1972 Poseidon was able to detect a possible Tsunami, while the 2006 Poseidon's most profitable technological breakthrough was a pair of binoculars.
7. Where the F**K is Shelly Winters!
8. Rogo
Get yourself through; Leave these sad pathetic characters here to die
Specially Dylan!
********* Personal Commentary *******
THIS FILM SUCKS MOOSE COCK LIKE ENIGMA #4 CHAWKS ON MAKEUP!!! WHAT THE @$&# HAPPENED!!! I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BLOCKBUSTER! The only block this film busted was my wallet for paying to see this piece of sh*t
I remember the original & I thought it was on the corny side but it was entertaining. The actors build the characters to the point that you really did care about them. Even to the point of Shelly Winters diving in the water to save the preacher only to die of a heart attack. It was human & believable. The characters looked real as well as the special effects. Every aspect that made the Poseidon Adventure a great film.
This film lacked all those traits. The characters were unlikable or you just didn't care. The ship looked so plastic as well as the characters. The heroics of Dylan were just so stupid that you would wish the character an unpleasant but slow death. Yes Folks, I HATE Dylan!!! Trust me, before the film is over you will too
Anywho
. While I watched this film, I wish I were one of the victims of the Poseidon instead of a patron who paid almost 10 bucks to watch this bile. @$&# YOU WARNER BROTHERS!! @$&# YOU!!!"
In Closing
. I give this film
.. 1 moooo
& That's with a leaky Udder
.
That's my story & I'm sticking to it
Darth Mooby
"For GODs sake, let the Moobster dance!" quote: N. Fisher
Thunder Alley (1985)
Tuson can Rock with the best of them...
THUNDER ALLEY Rated PG13 Copyright: 1985 Golan Globus Films Filmed in Arizona
******** The Characters *********
1. Ritchie - Guitar prodigy who joins his friends band as the lead guitarist & songwriter. Reunites with his band mates for one last chance at the big time.
2. Donnie - (IT's Scott McGinnis) Keyboardist of the band Magic & Ritchie's best friend. Gets Ritchie to join Magic. Bites it by drug overdose.
3. Beth - Ritchie's sweet girlfriend. Tries to be supportive of Ritchie even after he cheats on her with Star.
4. Lorraine - Donnie's girlfriend. Works at the local Ice Cream stand and has boobies as big as Nortons!! Takes Donnie's death hard.
5. Wessel - Band road manager that works for the Fatman. Takes Ritchie under his wing to make him a star.
6. Skip - (IT's Leif Garret!)Lead singer of the band Magic. Leaves the band only to reunite with them later at the Rainbow Festival.
7. Wolf - Base player for the band Magic.
8. Butch - Drummer for the band Magic.
9. Fatman - Local music promoter out to screw with Magic. Gets the band to fight within themselves. His car gets trashed by Ritchie.
10. Star - Blond groupie chick that gets Donnie hooked on Drugs. Gets her ass kicked by Ritchie after she tries to get Ritchie to try the drugs. "Big Nudity Scene"
11. Candy - Random Booby shot in the swimming pool.
12. Surgical Steel - Rival local heavy metal band within the Tuson Arizona music scene.
******** What you may learn form watching this film ********
1. Music Promoters are all assholes & out for themselves.
2. Leif Garret can actually perform real music besides bubble gum.
3. Scott McGinnis did get out of the closet after Lt. Uhura locked him in during Star Trek / The Search for Spock.
4. Good girls fathers are all town drunks.
5. Ice Cream makes a girls Boobies grow bigger.
6. Heavy Metal was the choice music in Arizona in the 80's.
7. Golan/Globus made other films besides Missing in Action.
8. Never play at Buffalo Bills night club. He'll try to screw you every time when it comes time to pay you...
******** Personal Commentary ********
Now I know I'm most likely going to be bias to this film. This is my favorite film of all time. During my years as a musician I seen many films that showed the life of a musician but rarely found one that was somewhat accurate about the whole industry.
This film does just that.. It's that damn good... The acting can be better but the story is deep. I really can't trash this film. It has some sentimentality with me.
It defiantly is a keeper & wish to God they would release it on DVD soon... I own it on video and it's an original copy. It makes me feel all fuzzy inside... hehehe...
Anywho.... I give this film..... 10 moooss.... If you can rent it.. watch it... trust me on this one...
That's my story & I'm sticking to it...
Mooby
"For GODs sake, let the Moobster dance!" quote: N. Fisher
Vulgar (2000)
Clowns are not happy people... Now I can see why
What you may learn from this film
1. Clowns don't like it when you urinate on their yard.
2. Ben Affleck is a media tramp... Even if he doesn't have an active part in the movie.. He always seems to find his way in...
3. Never let bums borrow your car for a place to sleep. "Hey! Clowny"
4. Wheaties look real bad when you talk with your mouth fun.
5. Public Access TV moguls are all gay.
6. A good place to buy real guns is in the boonies in Old Bridge NJ
7. Always wash the clown face makeup first after you've been raped.
8. When trying to kill yourself. Never sneak in on an armed man. Go strait for him.
9. Gerardo Rivera will do a feel good show on anyone. Even a clown.
Personal Commentary
This movie is so wrong... That's just it... Watching a clown being molested just can't be right. ITS JUST WRONG!
Brian O'Halloran is a great guy and a great actor. He must be a great friend to Brian Johnson to do that part as the clown.
I give this film... 3 mooos... I have to.. It's a View Askew Production..
That's my story and I'm sticking to it...
Mooby
"For GODs sake, let the Moobster dance!" quote: N. Fisher
The Cross and the Switchblade (1970)
Gang fights in New York.... Watch out for Pat Boone
What you may Learn from watching this film!!!
1. Cops should never try to stop gang fights. They just become new props for the taking.
2. Nice girls like to get high too...
3. To get info from a street kid in the South Bronx.. All you need are a pair of patent leathers.
4. If your name is Israel.. The Bible talks a lot about you..
5. Never expect someone to be happy to see you at 2am.
6. Never use the toilets at a drug dealer's home. You may poop on his stash.
7. Gangs always set the ground rules when they rumble. "No zips.. I had a hell of a time removing that bullet last week."
8. If you want to get a gang bangers attention during a revival meeting. Always have some hot chick sing "Bringing in the Sheaves"
9. It's nice to see that Pat Boone can do something else besides singing Tiny Bubbles.
********** Personal Commentary ***************
This film was great when I was a kid. It made me want to get right with God. As I got older. I realized how funny this film could be.. Eric Estrada as Nicky Cruz was entertaining. He is so cheesy an actor and combines him with Pat Boone.. Oh man.. But I have to say.. seriously.. The story is good & needs to be told..
In closing.. All I can say is... "Where's Jon, Ponch!" I give this film..... 6 moooos....
That's my story & I'm sticking to it...
Mooby "For GODs sake, let the Moobster dance!" quote: N. Fisher
Desperate Living (1977)
Where do Glitter Beast live... Why, outside Baltimore of course
John Waters's films are just plain wrong. This film doesn't have his big star Divine. I thank God for that but it has every other aspect of a true John Waters film.
If you thought Pink Flamingos goes beyond the level of trash.. Then you need to rent this film and see for yourself
I mean.. Did we really need to see that 400 pound black woman naked. I think not
My eyes are still healing after seeing that . Then when you think it's all done.. Here comes Edith Massey naked from waste down. OUCH!!!!! GOD NO!!!! I'm still having nightmares
I give this film
3 mooos
It's trashy enough for those of you who like trash.. For the rest of us
Make sure your pretty well out drunk before you watch..
That's my story & I'm sticking to it
Mooby
"For GODs sake, let the Moobster dance!" quote: N. Fisher
Mallrats (1995)
Kevin, your being too critical.. This film Kicks Ass
I don't care what Kevin Smith said.. This fill kicks ass.. He says that it's the worst film he ever did mostly by the response he received in the theaters. You know what.. This film is just that good. It didn't get the response it should have.
The comic aspect is so there. Just watch it for yourself. It has everything a truly good B Movie needs. No horror but for those of us that are true Sci-Fi & Comic book fans. You would like the references in this film..
I also loved the scene of the Rt 1 Flea Market in New Brunswick.. I spent many weekends there.. Gotta love the Dirt mall.
I give this film..... 9 mooos... It deserve it.. You probably think different but Hell.. I loved it.. "BTW... The Time Suck ASS"
Thats my story & I'm sticking to it...
Mooby
"For GODs sake, let the Moobster dance!" quote: N. Fisher