Cpt_Berns Reviews

Knight Rider: Knight Rider (2008) Season 1, Episode 0

We should have gotten a re-imagining

[4/10 · 19 February 2008]

Here's why re-imaginings are better than stupid sequels.

The re-imaginings: - Battlestar Galactica (beats the original by light years) - Casino Royale (best Bond movie in decades) - Batman Begins (better than any screen-incarnation of the dark knight) - Man of Steel comics (John Byrne's reboot turned an old fashioned series into something hip)

The continuations: - Knight Rider 2000, Knight Rider 2010 (sad) - Superman Returns (worst superhero movie ever) - Star Trek the Next Generation (simply a rape of the original) - Wild Wild West Revisited, More Wild Wild West (hell, even the Wil Smith movie version was better) - Return of the Man from Uncle (pathetic) - I Spy Returns (hell, even the Eddy Murphy movie version was better)

And this list goes on and on, with such marvels as Return of the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman 1, 2 & 3 (painfull because Six Million Dollar Man remains my all time favorite series), the three Hulk TV movies, etc.

So what we needed for Knight Rider was a remake or a re-imagining instead of a continuation. Sadly they choose the other road.

Another stupid thing about continuations is that they usually erase any other sequels but the loved ones out of continuity. Richard Hatch at one time wanted to make a continuation of the original Galactica show. At a convention I asked him when his proposed series would have been set, before or after Galactica 80. He said he would have erased G80 from continuity. Superman Returns erases S3 & S4 (and I really liked 'the night the Cylons landed' of G80 and I really liked Superman IV.) No matter how stupid some episodes are (Trek had 'Spock's brain') they were made and aired so if you make a continuation you have no right to erase them.

But that being said, this TV movie beats KR2000 by miles and I never bothered to watch KR2010.

On the bad side, there are plot holes so big that you can hide Jupiter in one of them. Here's an (incomplete) list: - Why didn't Charles Graiman get to KITT when the people of 'the electrical company' got to Ben? - Why didn't Charles Graiman grab a cell phone before he started running so he could call KITT? - How can KITT and the bad guys get from Graiman's place to the place where Sarah is holding a lecture and from there to Vegas in less time than it takes Graiman to reach a phone (booth) or Jennifer's place (a neighbor I presume since I can't see Graiman do 50km by foot.) - How did the bad guys and up at the casino? They lost Sarah and they didn't know about Mike.

The answer to the first 3 questions is simple. If Graiman had gotten to KITT or if he did grab a cell phone or got to a phone booth the movie would not have lasted over 5 minutes! But the third question still puzzles me.

Also on the bad side, is this supposed to be a continuation of Knight Rider or of Viper? And where's the turbo boost? Or the skiing? And is it just me or did Hasselhoff look drunk in his scenes? And why did the green screen effects (scene's inside the car) look so soap-like cheap?

On the bright side, I got used to the car. I got used to the voice (although there was a trailer with another voice ending in "But really, enough about me" and that voice was waaaay better than Kilmer's), I got used to the actors and the characters and I absolutely adored the final scene. I think the most popular thing people remember of the original show was the driving into- and out of the truck. When I saw the final scene I did get the impression that we were in the truck, although it did seem a bit wide. And when finally the ramp opened up I said "Yessss, finally" and felt my eyes getting wet from excitement. What I saw next (and I'm not going to spoil that scene) blew me out of my seat. Now that's a great ending! Too bad the rest of the movie didn't reach that level. Still I'd give that scene a 10. And the whole movie a 4 because of that last scene.

Mission: Impossible: The Short Tail Spy (1966) Season 1, Episode 14

Worst episode I've ever seen.

[3 March 2007]

I love the original Mission: Impossible, but this episode is the worst one I've ever seen. The opening scene (where Briggs gets his mission) is a reuse of footage of the opening scene of the episode Old Man Out. The to the embassy ball, where we get a lot of clumsy hand held camera shots that seem to be stalling for time. The ending of the episode was very stupid. *** SPOILER ALERT *** In the ending, the bad guy stands there with a gun, threatening the whole IMF team. Cinamon walks toward the guy, who says he will shoot. Then click, click. Gun empty. Cinamon unloaded the gun. What if he reloaded? No professional hit-man would take for granted that the gun was loaded. First thing you do when you pick up a gun is check it's status. So he WOULD have reloaded! *** END SPOILER ***

Force 10 from Navarone (1978)

Gregory who?

[6/10 · 22 August 2006]

Agreed, the original Guns of Navarone was far superior to this sequel. The original had a great story, a seriousness, a debate about morality and immortal performances by Quin, Niven and Quale. It unfortunately also had Gregory Peck who plays Mallory, a British officer who spoke German like a German. Can't say much about Peck's German since I don't speak any German myself, but it does sound a bit wooden. But why didn't Mallory speak English like an Englishman? On top of that Peck's dramatic scene's reminded me of William Shatner's acting style.

Force 10 from Navarone isn't quite the piece of art Guns was. As many had said before, Carl Weathers' character was completely out of place here and many other things were wrong.

But the one thing I would like to point out is that what many consider a blooper really isn't one. Mallory still suspects the Nero character of being the traitor they thought he was, long after the Nero character was supposedly cleared. Only Miller knew Mallory spoke German like a German! So when the Nero character proposes to join them because they don't speak German, Mallory keeps his mouth shut about being able to speak German so he can keep an eye on Nero's character. You know, keep your friends close but keep your enemies even closer. It was the logical thing to do. It was what I would have done.

Shaw was the only thing in this movie that was better than Guns. Peck was a poor choice. And Shaw's Mallory is really great.

SeaQuest 2032 (1993–1996)

Will they ever learn?

[5/10 · 4 August 2006]

It's always the same thing. No matter how good or bad a show is, the ratings alone decide it's faith. With good ratings a show is renewed every season and nobody will make changes to it's format. With bad ratings a show is canceled after (or during) it's first season.

But what if the ratings are not good enough to have the show renewed for another season, but not bad enough to have the show canceled either. Then they always make a second season that is so different from the first one that the few fans it had will stop watching and no new viewers will tune in. Will they ever learn it's better to cancel a show than to dramatically change it? Changing it will only make you lose the audience it has. It will not bring in new viewers! And that is what happened to SeaQuest DSV. It was a great show in the beginning. But the changes they made to the format didn't just scare the few fans it had away, it even scared it's lead (Roy Scheider) away!

Bionic Ever After? (1994 TV Movie)

Music please

[5/10 · 2 July 2005]

Was I glad to see some more of Steve and Jaime. I just loved the 1970's series. However I missed two things in all three reunion movies. First of all, I missed the 1970's look (furniture, clothes, cars, etc.) since I believe the 1970's was the ONLY decade that had style and taste (I hated the 1980's). But most importantly, where were the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman theme music? It was a mistake not to include the themes. In fact, almost all remakes/reunion movies used the theme of the original shows. Just look at Mission Impossible, The Saint, The Wild Wild West, The Avengers, SWAT, etc. They all used the themes of the shows those movies were based upon. It wouldn't be James Bond without the James Bond theme. Yet sadly in none of the SMDM-BW reunion movies the theme from either show was present.

Also, of the three reunion movies, this one is the worst. The story is bad and one has to wait until the end of the movie for a slow motion sequence (once the show's trademark). And why would Rudy Wells make Jaime's healthy eyes bionic? Weren't bionics meant to be used for reconstructive surgery?

Bionic Showdown: The Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman (1989 TV Movie)

Music please

[9/10 · 2 July 2005]

Was I glad to see some more of Steve and Jaime. I just loved the 1970's series. However I missed two things in all three reunion movies. First of all, I missed the 1970's look (furniture, clothes, cars, etc.) since I believe the 1970's was the ONLY decade that had style and taste (I hated the 1980's). But most importantly, where were the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman theme music? It was a mistake not to include the themes. In fact, almost all remakes/reunion movies used the theme of the original shows. Just look at Mission Impossible, The Saint, The Wild Wild West, The Avengers, SWAT, etc. They all used the themes of the shows those movies were based upon. It wouldn't be James Bond without the James Bond theme. Yet sadly in none of the SMDM-BW reunion movies the theme from either show was present.

The Return of the Six-Million-Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman (1987 TV Movie)

Music please

[8/10 · 2 July 2005]

Was I glad to see some more of Steve and Jaime. I just loved the 1970's series. However I missed two things in all three reunion movies. First of all, I missed the 1970's look (furniture, clothes, cars, etc.) since I believe the 1970's was the ONLY decade that had style and taste (I hated the 1980's). But most importantly, where were the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman theme music? It was a mistake not to include the themes. In fact, almost all remakes/reunion movies used the theme of the original shows. Just look at Mission Impossible, The Saint, The Wild Wild West, The Avengers, SWAT, etc. They all used the themes of the shows those movies were based upon. It wouldn't be James Bond without the James Bond theme. Yet sadly in none of the SMDM-BW reunion movies the theme from either show was present.