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Reviews
The Spy (2019)
Undermined by crude clichés
It's visually exquisite, quite understated in its elegance and style, but, sure enough, we get the "dirty Arab" clichés early on. The vulgar politician's wife grabs our hero by the balls while he himself pisses loudly and shamelessly in his guest's presence and fails to wash his hands. It really puts me off and makes me wonder how many more such crude stereotypes of the "dirty evil Arabs" and the "kindly and noble Israelis" to expect.
Jack Reacher (2012)
Not funny enough to be a comedy. Too stupid to be anything else.
I never look at ratings or reviews but with this one I could only suffer the silliness as far as the bath scene before having to look if this kind of output really appeals to the public. And, tragically, it does... I can suspend disbelief and I quite enjoy tired cliches but only if they're either humorous or carried off with some degree of sophistication. This one lacks the self-awareness of a parody or else it would be one. I feel I'm being treated as a moron, which, if you are, don't let me stop you. Enjoy!
The Pharmacist (2020)
Fails to address what should be obvious.
A painfully tedious examination of some man turned busybody in a futile fight against the symptoms of a sick society. People self-medicating is nothing more than a natural response to decaying society, and no amount of sanctimonious posturing or sentimental gesturing can ultimately hide the fact that there is a far bigger structural problem that neither the protagonist nor the filmmakers have the courage to accept. Despite wasting hours and hours. Ok if you just wish to gloat on someone refusing to accept their failings and looking to blame other victims of a sick society.
Bad Teacher (2011)
A warning against bad plastic surgery.
The body itself appears to be quite well designed, but the same couldn't be said about the face. If they wanted to make it permanently comedic, they should have made the mouth even wider, even more clown-like. As it is, the physiognomy isn't grotesque enough or normal enough, just something in-between that's merely slightly uncomfortable to observe. It moves and talks, and there is also a "storyline" but it's too unfunny and un-engaging to even comment upon.
Jusqu'au déclin (2020)
A terrible waste of good potential.
It just about stays borderline watchable for the first half, touching on comedy. Then it's a decline into 100% clichéd "action movie" nonsense finished with a terribly choreographed and ridiculous finale. It's extra disappointing because it keeps pretending to be funny AND to have something meaningful to say, failing to deliver on both. In return Quebecans and other Canadians are pretending to really like it. I get that but I don't share their patriotic motivation so 1 it is.
Gibraltar (2013)
A very under-appreciated work of art
On a superficial level it may lack the cliches that many have come to expect from the genre. But it has layers of subtlety and meaning that others lack.
I'd give it a 10 just for the cinematography. Notice the play of colour and shadow as the protagonist descends into the dark world of treachery and moral compromise. This is a story of biblical profundity.
Downsizing (2017)
50-50
I had no idea what to expect as I never read reviews in advance or watch trailers.
I like films to surprise me.
This was initially a pleasant one - a novel idea and very funny. But it loses momentum and takes a nose-dive near the middle. It's as if they ran out of ideas and decided to just kill it with a standard boilerplate Hollywood ending.
The idea itself is brilliant and the implementation is quite good. I could see it becoming a successful series. I wish they'd paid more attention to making it more credible - i.e. - you couldn't have movie cameras, TV sets and vehicles functioning at such a miniature size. I think much more could have been done imagining a microscopic world and much comedic potential remained unexplored. Nor was I impressed with the blatant product placement by Absolut Vodka, and it was depressing to see the effects of alcohol on Terence Stamp.
Narcoworld: Dope Stories (2019)
Terrible "dramatic" voice acting.
I thought this kind of "war on drugs" silliness presented in an annoying, almost comedic manner was a thing of the past. Sadly not.
The Dirt (2019)
Like "Spinal Tap" but without any funny jokes
I'm surprised that anyone would want to make this type of film after "This is Spinal Tap". This one occasionally tries to be funny but in a crass and vulgar, not subtle or intelligent way. It has its moments but the music is so atrociously bad that I had to stop half-way through. Strictly for the exceptionally unsophisticated.
Brigada Costa del Sol (2019)
I can only recommended this as a sleeping aid.
This one was just too silly for me. A ludicrous string of completely worn out stereotypes, tiresome attempts at some sort of humour. Utterly unrealistic and contrived. I managed one and a half episode. Hard to believe that educated grown-up professionals would decide it worth wasting time and effort on something as puerile, uninspired and pointless as this.
Bad Blood (2017)
Just a string of bad cliches and silly caricatures
Just a string of bad cliches and silly caricatures undermined by badly written dialogue and wooden acting.
Les convoyeurs attendent (1999)
One of the funniest films I have seen in my whole life
It does take a certain sense of humour and, perhaps, background experience, to see the funny side of this drama/comedy film. It's an unusual but most welcome genre. It's a parody, a pastiche, a slightly ironic homage to neorealist cinema, but I don't see why it wouldn't work as a heart-warming celebration of humanity when taken at its face value. I'm still searching for a way to watch it online, so far all I can see if DVD's... No, I don't get its title... :-/
Still, I consider it genius
Den of Thieves (2018)
Only if you're a bit stupid and realy, really love guns.
If you're a bit stupid and realy, really love guns, then you might be able to sit through this ridiculous nonsense. It's like a GTA game but without any irony, self-awareness, humour or wit..
Murder Mountain (2018)
Could have all been done in just one short film
The endless repetition and lengthy drawn-out scenes made me fall asleep again and again - so giving this 3 stars for helping me with my insomnia.
Traffik (2018)
fourth-rate rubbish
I wonder how they manage to manipulate the ratings.
It's terrible on all accounts - dreadful acting, silly script, etc. etc.
No wonder it's on netflix so soon after release.
Casino Royale (2006)
if it ain't broke - don't fix it!
for the first time James Bond has a strong homo-erotic appeal - you see a lot more male than female nakedness, and then there is, of course, the gay sadomasochistic torture scene where the naked "Bond" has his genitals whipped by a male villain. Where most previous Bonds' main strengths were charm and elegance - this one's a testosterone junkie - a gym locker-room wet dream - and not much else! I really don't mind - but it's not what I expect and it doesn't appeal to me! The screenplay is extremely poor and too much of it doesn't work or doesn't make any sense at all - what was supposed to be inside the metal briefcase near the end in Venice - 10 million in cash?! I don't really mind if the plot is unrealistic - but then it should be funny through exaggeration or parody - which this one certainly isn't! Looks like the makers of this one couldn't quite make up their minds as to what they're trying to do - so in the end they left some of the classic elements (crane chase, airport incident) but not enough to call it an 007 film!
Germinal (1993)
genius
Genius - Hollywood can never touch this.
We should be thankful that there is a country that produces real films - and of this scope.
I cringe to think how badly this would have been mutilated by Americans - we'd have a happy ending, they'd "go easy" on the commie stuff, there would be no premarital relations, the shopkeeper would be spared, some bland and muscly "action hero" type would catch the saboteur character and they'd fight with wrenches - sparks flying in the mineshaft. They would take out all social commentary, rename it etc etc... And then - the sequel "Germinal 2 - the Heroes of the Pit!" in a modern day setting with oil wells and helicopters.
Anyway, in all sincerity, I hope the accountants of Hollywood never try to butcher this story.
Donnie Darko (2001)
a monumental waste of time
I was instantly put off by the tired and worn clichés - the neurotic teacher, the nasty school bully, the fat Chinese chick who says "Shut up!", the sleazy mr. motivator, the "Mr & Mrs Average" parents, the eccentric old lady - all done to death by countless teenage flicks. And then the time travel and the convoluted, confused plot - laughable that the director is trying to (mis)use Stephen Hawking's "Brief History of Time" to lend some scientific credibility to this sorry concoction. It feels as if the film can't decide if it has anything to say but insists on plodding on regardless - with a vengeance... Redeeming quality for me was perhaps the soundtrack and some of the special effects. I wish it hadn't been so widely hyped - I would have spared myself the time.
I too am surprised at the many positive reviews but the most telling was one along the lines of "I don't usually like deep movies but this one is different" - made me laugh!