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bluerosecrow
Reviews
Longlegs (2024)
Watch with average expectations
I am glad I saw the movie when I did. This movie was incredibly overhyped when it was first released, so I can understand why some people didn't like it when they saw it. But I just watched it, so I got to have my expectations way lowered by listening to people talk about how overhyped it was.
Stylistic, this movie was phenomenal. There were some scenes where the camera shot and uneasy music score were done to perfection. There was a scene at a bus stop that had me absolutely enthralled. It reminds me of House of the Devil where the story could have been garbage and I would still love it because of the camera work and editing. Thankfully, like House of the Devil, the story line was also well done.
One of the only things that felt off for me was that no one seemed to have any chemistry. Everyone acted like they were talking to a work acquaintance, even if they were talking to a member of their family. Though, this may have been done deliberately, as it did draw you into the retro setting and style of the movie.
While the storyline isn't the strongest out there, the style alone makes it a movie worth watching. And obviously Nic Cage does an amazing job. If you go into it thinking you are about to watch the horror movie of the year, you are going to be disappointed. But if you go into it thinking you are going to watch an average horror movie, you will be pleasantly surprised.
Lastly, keep in mind that this is the same director as The Blackcoat's Daughter. I loved the Blackcoat's Daughter. But if you didn't like it, and don't care for that style of horror and pacing, this might not be up your alley.
Getting Personal with Plant Medicine (2022)
Started Getting Into This Podcast
I started getting into alternative and plant medicine recently. I was told to check out this podcast, and I really enjoy it. There are guest that talk about their personal stories with different plant medicines. There are guest that are experts in certain plants. There are guest that are doctors. The are guest that are whiling to talk about both sides of the conversation so that all sides are known. I am really looking forward to where this podcast goes. It seems like the host is really picking up steam, and is really building something great here. I listen from apple podcast, but I am more than sure you can find this on most platforms.
Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)
I made a mistake, but stayed for the synth.
I was in between watching this and Godzilla Minus One. I picked this because it was 10 minutes shorter and it was already getting a little late for me. I was about 7 minutes in when I started thinking that I made a mistake. I just felt like it was over-animated and lacked soul.
The first act can best be described as "dumb". Everything about it was just... dumb. Just the way they talked about Kong and Godzilla was dumb. It's really hard to pinpoint. Just the reality that they created that lives in a world where giant creatures roam and fight was so cartoonish and dumb. Godzilla sleeping in the colosseum? King Kong coming out of the hollow earth to get his toothache fixed? The hell? It had some killer 80's synth score work that didn't fit the scene at all so it just felt ridiculous. But in a way, the score is rad enough to make it work.
The second act continued to be dumb. The characters were dumb. No one acts like an actual person. Everyone acts like a cartoon character, and they use bizarre conversations to try and explain what is happening. Nothing feels natural at all. The reactions to things were overacted. The voiceovers made it sound like it was a bad movie based on a video game. The score is so good though. The movie at this point was purely saved by its mindlessness and rad score.
Halfway into the movie and you are still just watching King Kong wandering around sometimes fighting cartoons in hollow earth. You have seen Godzilla three times... one of the times sleeping in the coliseum, and another of the times is Godzilla walking while a voiceover says "Godzilla sure is mad." At this point, all the cool 80s synth scores have ended and it is just typical boring "this is a fantasy epic" score work. For some reason, Rebecca Hall's character knows how to read some picture language in hollow earth so that she can explain the entire movie since up until this point, it has just been King Kong grunting and yelling, and humans talking about nothing of substance at all and saying, "Godzilla sure is mad."
If you were hoping for some good news in this review, you are about to get it. Yes!!! Rad 80's synth score returns in act 3!!!!!! But it is followed by some of the dumbest scenes. Things happen that have no logical way of happening. And I know that this is a ridiculous movie that demands the suspension of disbelief, but these are things happening that aren't even logical in the realms of their reality. This would be the perfect 80's movie if they had cheaper effects.
Ok, look, that final thing I just wrote there made me reconsider how I was watching this movie. The 80's were filled with some of the dumbest movies with plots that made no sense and they were just fun. This is like that in a way. Though it probably could be a little more fun, which it probably would be if it even attempted to use some form of practical effects. It was still good mindless fun in parts though and had some very stellar 80s synth score work.
Still, I made a mistake. Godzilla Minus One had people crying in theaters and I chose to watch the absolute dumbest Godzilla movie to date. It delivered zero human emotion and endless cartoon fights that made me feel nothing. That 80s synth score though!
Abigail (2024)
Really fun, but did not fully pass my ADHD test
Let me start by saying that this was good fun and I would very much recommend checking it out. It had some really amazing scenes and they did a solid job building the characters. There were moments I felt complete joy while watching some scenes.
But, there were moments in the first two acts where I was spacing out a little. Now, granted, this happens to me a lot. I really have to be all-in for a movie to keep me engaged the entire time. There were some really amazing scenes, but I feel like it took a little too long to get into the meat of the movie, with the first two deaths having the main action happen off screen, and a lot of scenes of everyone just arguing about what to do.
With that said, the end of the second act and the third act are AMAZING! There is a scene that includes a DANZIG song. From that moment on, the movie had me fully entranced. By the time I reached the end, I was having so much fun. I was a little bummed when it ended because I was having such a great time with it.
Overall, this movie is a lot of fun and had moments that were just brilliant. But, I feel like it could have lost maybe ten minutes to keep the pacing stronger. I will absolutely watch it again.
The Girl in the Pool (2024)
Who drove Kevin Pollak to the party?
I am just going to start off by saying that my expectations shouldn't have been as high as they were. When I was in high school, Freddie Prinze Jr. Was a top billed celebrity that ruled the teen movies. I often times forget that people that were super famous when I was younger are no longer at the height of their career, and in many cases, hardly even known. So, when I saw this movie with Freddie Prinze Jr, I knew it was most likely lower budget due to me not hearing about, but I still thought it was going to be a worth while independent movie. And what I got was something that could be technically defined as a movie.
I'm not going to go too deep into the plot or anything like that. But, there really isn't anything to dive deep into. Freddie Prinze Jr has to navigate a surprise birthday party while his freshly dead mistress is stuffed into a storage container. From there, he is just manically roaming around the party trying to figure out who killed her, while hoping that no one finds the body. He never asks anyone any hard questions to try and trip them up to discover who killed her. He just keeps asking people what time they got to the party. Somehow they got Kevin Pollak to sign on to this movie, and they use him to periodically pop in to tell Freddie Prinze Jr that he doesn't like him. Freddie Prinze Jr, in turn, is constantly paranoid about who drove Kevin Pollak to the party, even though he gets that answer very early into the movie.
This was not the worst movie I have ever seen. I mean, it has Freddie Prinze Jr, Kevin Pollak and Monica Potter in it, so the acting is well enough to keep you entertained. But the plot itself just seems to ramble on a little. After the third time Freddie Prinze Jr asked someone how Kevin Pollak got to the party, I started spacing out. The ending was abrupt but ok. They tried to make it meaningful.
I'm not saying to not watch this movie. I am just saying that you really have to set those expectations lower, especially if you grew up in the "She's All That" era. This would have probably been a better play than movie.
I Saw the TV Glow (2024)
Not what I was expecting at all, but still great
I went into this movie only knowing that I wanted to see it. I like the style going off of some scene pictures I saw. The vague synopsis on IMBD seemed enjoyable enough. That is really all I went in with.
I feel like this movie isn't a one watch movie. On the surface, it's ok. Through most of the movie, I found certain style choices to be very cool, but I also didn't really care for the show they were obsessed with. Without giving spoilers, I guess the easiest thing to say was that I was expecting the show to be a different kind of show, and in turn, for this movie to be a different kind of movie.
Once the movie was over, I then found myself thinking about it a lot. Thinking about certain scenes and what they meant. Thinking of the final 10 minutes of the film. Most importantly, thinking of the very final scene.
There is a lot of trans symbolism that I didn't get until it was pointed out. While I am an ally, I am not one of those people that are going to pretend to be so in-tune that I automatically pick up on things that I have never personally experienced. But knowing this symbolism after the fact does help build appreciation for the movie as well.
All-in-all, it was not the movie I was expecting to watch... at all. It wasn't really a horror movie at all. It was more sci-fi driven if anything. But it was still a great movie with a lot of style that says some important things.
Summer of 84 (2018)
Watch in the summer.
I started watching this in February and just couldn't get into it after watching about 15 minutes. I almost never came back to it, but saw some people talking about it on Twitter and decided to put it back on my watchlist. Last night, I was looking for something to watch and came back around to this movie and decided to give it a shot. I am so glad I did.
First, this movie needs to be watched in the summertime. I think one of the main reasons I couldn't get into it in February was that it was hard to get into the mind space of being that age during summer vacation during one of the coldest and most depressing months of the year. But watching it during the warmer months, you automatically feel yourself reflecting back to your younger years and those friendships and adventures.
Also, the music score is amazing. I say this a lot in my reviews, but I absolutely love a retro synth music score. I admit that it is an easy way to get me engaged in a movie. Once that synth starts, I am all in.
If I was to say anything bad about the movie, it would be that it can kind of feel like it drags in parts. For most of the time, I was all in, but there were some times where I found myself spacing out a little. Granted, I have ADHD, so this could just be a problem I had. It just felt like moments had pacing issues.
Overall, the movie had a great 80's vibe and I really enjoyed it. Some moments of pacing issues, and really not a movie that I could see myself watching in any other season besides summertime. Also, I connected with it because of the years I grew up, so younger generations may not connect with it as much, but still a fun watch with an ending that did surprise me and deliver. This isn't a movie that is going to blow your mind. But if you grew up in the pre-digital age when your summer was spent exclusively outside trying to find things to get into, this movie will be enjoyable.
The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)
I mean, what else do you all need?
I'm looking at this overall rating, and I am beginning to wonder what people need to enjoy a horror movie. This has the hallmarks of a horror classic. How?
Music: This movie delivers a score theme that is fully utilized. Every classic movie has that one theme to their score, or one strong song that drives the movie. You have the rhyme in Nightmare on Elm Street. You have the ch ch ch sound on Friday the 13th. Tubular Bells in Exorcist. Red Right Hand in Screem. The Halloween theme in Halloween. This movie has its own theme score that is utilized perfectly.
Killers: Though the killers are mostly silent, they each deliver their own personality. And they don't try to over-explain the killers either. No unnecessary backstory. No attempt to explain why they are killing. Just classic stalking killers. These are the kinds of killers that could send this into a very successful franchise if they continued on with this model.
Suspense: This movie had a solid balance of the protagonist running for their lives and fighting back. This caused a fun back and forth with some really amazing scenes. This felt like the beginning of a slasher franchise that we really hadn't seen since Scream. It really makes you upset knowing that they didn't follow the same direction with the movie that followed.
Was this the best movie ever? No. But when I see some of these reviews talking about how it is boring or a waste of time, I have to wonder if these people even like horror movies. I can't think of a single horror fan that wouldn't absolutely enjoy this film. From beginning to end, this movie delivers everything it needed to.
Tarot (2024)
People need to chill and have some fun
Is this the scariest movie you will ever see? No. It isn't even really scary at all. But that's ok, because it is something else that makes horror movies enjoyable... fun. I don't know what happened where people felt like a horror movie was trash if it didn't have pools of blood and people having their flesh carved off. There has always been a section of horror movies that were just fun and often PG-13. Movies like these are important because they welcome in new generations of horror fans and give a good popcorn flick to watch with friends or on a date.
This movie is just simple fun. The entities are fun and creative, and they build enough that they could continue on in their own franchise. While my use of tarot never used the spread that is used in this movie, I wasn't really expecting this movie to be a tutorial of tarot. It was able to find a way to turn the Major Arcana into creatures/entities/demonic spirits that were a lot of fun. The Fool being my personal favorite. But the scene with The Magician was fantastic as a whole.
It falls into some traps that a lot of horror movies fall into in order to make them cheap and quick to produce and push into the market. For example:
The kids seem to live in a city with no other inhabitants. No one just walking down the street. No one in the subway station. No one exists except for these kids it appears.
Google has all the answers. In order to speed the movie along and to not have to worry about heavy amounts of screen time discovering the cause of things, they just google "why are the tarot cards killing us" and the answer pops up as the third entry on the page.
One character is oddly an expert on everything happening. It would be fun to see one movie where the entire group had zero idea what was going on.
With all that said, I stand by the fact that this movie is a lot of fun. It is like if 13 Ghost had a baby with Stay Alive. It won't ever show up on any list of the greatest horror movies ever, but every decade has those fun horror movies that you watch on tv on a Sunday afternoon. Those movies are needed just as much as the "amazing" ones, and this movie falls nicely into that category.
Long story short, people need to chill out on their expectations with horror movies. Or we are going to end up with what happened with comic book movies and we are going to lose out on the fun and cheesy ones in order for the studios to remake the same story over and over again because they know it will be a hit and bring in a load of money.
The First Omen (2024)
Beautifully unsettling
This movie was almost perfect, and many scenes still are. The only problem comes when it feels like it gets oddly disrupted. Let's take a look at some amazing pieces of film making, and the moments that almost got in the way.
There are moments that feel like this was filmed in the late 70's or early 90's. Wide camera shots with characters talking via voiceover. Loud and heavy score work that makes it feel like you are witnessing a religious experience but played at a tone that feels uncomfortable. Hell, the entire first scene feels like it was a remastered deleted scene from The Omen. Unfortunately, the entire film is not shot in this manner, and the many retro scenes get spliced with scenes filmed in a more modern style. It kind of pulls you out of the movie for a minute.
The atmosphere is heavy and eerie. A lot of this has to do with the musical score work, but it doesn't just end there. The camera work, the body language, the unsettling chants and whispers. All of these and more created an atmosphere that really pulled you in. Oddly enough, it was the more "horrific" scenes that pushed me out. It almost seemed to disturb the atmosphere for a shock moment. I'm not saying these more horrific scenes aren't necessary or good. Some of these scenes were amazing in their own right. I am just saying that they felt mildly off-beat with the scenes that surrounded them.
Probably the biggest issue I have with the movie is that it both changes the story established in the original The Omen, but also sometimes goes out of the way to push that this movie is a direct prequel to The Omen. I almost feel like it would have been better just to have it stand on its own because the movie is so amazing and it seems to cheapen it when they throw in a copy of a scene that occurred in The Omen or go out of there way to explain how this movie bridges to The Omen.
Overall, even through its faults, this was an amazing movie. I can think of multiple scenes that will stick with me forever. Not because they were horrific. But because they were beautifully unsettling. This movie does the best job at this sub-genre that I have seen in a very long time.
Arcadian (2024)
Fun, but could have been so much better
Overall, I did enjoy watching this movie. I didn't get bored, but there were some moments that were inconsistent or just kind of dumb. So here is a rundown of the good and bad.
The good:
Mr. Nicolas Cage. Him fully planting his flag in the horror realm has been such a treat. And he very much delivers in this. While you don't get full-on-manic and unhinged Nic Cage like you saw in Wicker Man, you do get a very classic Cage performance.
The acting overall is really well done. This movie could have easily fallen apart if the two sons didn't deliver. Both sons did a really great job and I feel that they get you invested in the story and their situations.
The creatures are really cool looking. They have a relatively unique design and there is a scene that shows how they eat people and while it still leaves a lot to the imagination, it was pretty cool. Also, they do this cool chomping thing that I enjoyed.
The bad:
There are some inconsistencies. Earlier in the film, the creatures are shown to be able to do something that seems would be a thing they would do a lot. But then you never see a single one of them ever do it again.
They really don't try to explain anything about these creatures. You don't know where they came from or why. You don't know when they landed and how long the world has been living like this. You don't know where they first showed up. Stuff like this can be ok if you know you are going to get a sequel to follow up on these things, but this movie is obviously not going to get a sequel. Also, I am tired of having to watch multiple movies just to get one story. One story, one movie. I would really like to get back into that way of story telling.
Ok, look, I don't want to spoil anything, but in the third act, you will see something incredibly dumb. When I first saw it, I originally thought I hallucinated it, or possibly wasn't paying attention and just misinterpreted what I saw. I thought that there was no way in hell something so stupid could just randomly happen. But then it happened again. It is so dumb. It immediately pulls you out of the movie because you feel like you are watching a Looney Tunes short. I would like to know the thought process that went into the idea.
Overall:
While it was a good idea, and a fun watch overall, it totally feels like it was made by someone that didn't have the idea and story fully fleshed out. It felt more like I just watched half of a miniseries than a full-on movie. Also, that dumb thing I mentioned above really pulls you out of the movie and there was no reason to put it in the movie. It added nothing, and made me feel like I was watching a cartoon. So while it was fun, and I enjoyed myself watching it, I just can't bring myself to give this movie anything higher than a 6.
Elevator Game (2023)
A very basic horror movie that dropped the ball on the ritual it is based on
I have been obsessed with this ritual since the first time I read it on creepypasta. The idea behind it was so much fun, and I looked forward to the day that a movie was based around this. Most importantly, I was excited to see an exploration of the red world the game took you. Then this movie came out, and I got an ok movie.
The movie itself reminds me a lot of the movie Stay Alive. A bunch of kids play a haunted game and die one by one at the hands of the entity that haunts the game. The main character is a new member of the group that has a connection to the game. The kills are fine.
It's not like this was a bad movie. It was fun in its own right. There were some scenes that were really enjoyable. The problem is that it could have been so cool, and it ended up just being so basic.
For most of the movie, you are really just waiting for the movie to start. Nothing really happens for a while. Then they play the game, but all the horror is primarily just in our regular a$$ world.
Finally a character finally goes into the red world, and it is really cool for the three minutes the character is in there.
Then they add an unnecessary backstory to the game and the entity. It all becomes extremely formulaic and reminds me of the PG-13 horror movies that came out in the 2000's. They all find out how to survive by remembering a children's song about an elevator that tells them how to survive.
They make their way back to the red world at the end which is expected. You get to see the red world for an amazing 20 seconds. This could have been a movie where the characters were lost in the red world trying to find their way back to the elevator. Instead, it is just a generic movie with a decent looking entity. I will remember my disappointment with the movie longer than I will remember the movie itself. The only reason it got a six out of me was because I did really like the way they made the entity look and walk, and I did enjoy the three minute glimpse into the other world.
Late Night with the Devil (2023)
My new obsession
I have been waiting for this movie for a good while. When I first saw the trailer, I got even more excited for it. I went around talking about this movie, showing people the trailer even if they didn't ask, and just about became a complete weirdo about this movie. Because of this, I wanted to make sure I went into it with an open mind. I wanted to make sure that I didn't convince myself that I liked it before I even watched it. Then some scandal came out and fixed that for me. So, what side did I land on? Well, if you saw the rating I gave it, I am guessing you pretty much already know.
This movie was amazing. I was fully obsessed with every minute. The 70's aesthetic fully pulls you in and oddly offers you a sense of safety. I feel that younger Gen-Xers and older Millennials will almost feel an odd connection to it - almost as if you are watching a memory from your childhood.
The acting was amazing. David Dastmalchian was phenomenal. I was sold on him at the first line delivered, and he was absolutely captivating in the third act. I can't think of anyone that could have played this part better. He made the entire experience feel real.
The horror was great. There were some amazing practical effects and body horror. There were some fun creepy moments. Most importantly, it was all fun. I sincerely had a blast the entire time. And the story was great. I was worried it was just going to be a one-dimensional movie about a possessed girl, and it was so much more.
Now, let's address the elephant in the room. The AI art. Am I bummed out that it happened? Yeah. Did it ruin the movie for me? No. To be honest, I wouldn't have even noticed if I had watched it prior to people pointing it out. And at no point did I run to my tv and try to rip it from the wall because my eyes were angry at the site of it. I took a point off, clearly out of principle. I am not a fan of AI art being used in leu of using an artist, just like I haven't been a fan of AI written content being used in leu of hiring a writer. But it has been happening for a while now. I remember when everyone was playing around with AI art, so it doesn't surprise me that a movie that was filmed at the time also played around with it. At the end of the day, it sucks that it happened, but it didn't kill the movie for me.
Overall, this is an amazing movie with one mistake attached that pulled it from a 10 to a 9.
Immaculate (2024)
It couldn't keep my attention
I had the hardest time staying engaged with this movie. The weird thing is, I really wanted to be all-in on it. It wasn't like a bad movie that I just stopped paying attention to with no regard. There were aspects of the movie that presented it as a good movie. I even rewound it a couple times when I found myself spacing out. I just could not immerse myself in this film.
It was filmed beautifully, and it had some really awesome and rewarding scenes. The visual horror was very quality, and every one of those scenes felt like you were watching a top notch horror film.
I think that the biggest issue I had was that I really didn't care about the characters at all. Any of them. They were just bland. And when there are scenes with bland characters talking in the same "I'm a nun" hushed tone, it gets very hard to keep my ADHD from going absolutely bonkers. I didn't even care about the main character. She was just a person that things were happening to. You never really get a strong idea of who she is as a person.
Also, I'm sure it doesn't help that this isn't really my preferred sub-genre. I am not really huge on religious horror because it always has the same antagonist. It's always Satan. Even if a human is doing the bad things physically, it is always because of Satan. And while I admit that there are some seriously solid religious horror films out there, I feel that unless you are doing something really great, it just blends into the crowd. So while the story in this movie is interesting enough, it really didn't stand out in the realm of religious horror in any way.
So here is the thing, I didn't care for this movie at all. I will not be watching it again anytime soon, if at all. But, I recognize that it isn't a bad movie. It was shot well. It had some really great scenes. It had a decently interesting story line if religious horror is your jams. It just wasn't for me.
The Endless (2017)
A good story with a lower budget
Look, first know that this is a perfectly fine movie. It was totally worth the watch, and I am not mad that I watched it. Now, I am not sure I will rewatch it any time soon, but I am still happy I watched it the once. It had some good and it had some bad, and here they are:
Good:
Story: The story was pretty good. Their play on time and reality was pretty fun. I also very much enjoyed the cult and the entity that they were worshiping. The story aspect would have made for a great novel.
Acting: Everyone did a great job with their roles. No one was wooden and it was surprising to see everyone delivering a solid performance knowing the budget was slim. The acting is probably the best aspect of the movie.
Bad:
Pacing: Some parts of the movie felt like it dragged. While I wasn't easily distracted, there were a few scenes that I felt like I was gonna start spacing out on.
Pay-off: Remember when I wrote above that this would have been a great novel? Well, that is because you can just explain what the entity looks like without needing technology to visually see it. Because they didn't have the budget to create the entity, they just never show it. Though, going off of what you do see, it was probably best that they didn't attempt to show the deity, as it would have created a cheesy moment in an otherwise serious-leaning movie.
All-in-all, it was a pretty good movie. The story and acting were strong enough to deliver a good experience. And it delivered a story line that had me still thinking about it after the movie was over. If this movie had more money behind it, and less writer/directorial influence in the editing room, this would have probably have been great.
Lisa Frankenstein (2024)
An immediate stylistic comfort movie
I slept on this movie for way too long. When it first came out, I didn't really think much of it because I thought it would be cheesy. When it started streaming, my wife asked me if I wanted to watch it one night for date night. I said yes, but didn't really go out of my way for us to watch it. Tonight, my wife put it on for our date night, and I am so glad she did.
After five minutes, I was totally into it. It had a strong 80's vibe with a campy aesthetic. The set design was amazing, creating a pink version of early Tim Burton mixed with Heathers.
Soon after, a character trips at a party and the song "I Can See Clearly Now" starts playing. That scene is stylistically captivating. It was the scene that fully hooked me, and I never pulled my attention for the entirety of the movie. I was all in.
What follows is a movie that plays through different genres while pulling you into an 80's reality that will both feel comforting and bizarre. The acting is spot on. The music is amazing. The set design is brilliant. This has the potential to live on as a cult classic much like Heathers and Jawbreaker.
Offseason (2021)
I was not expecting to like it this much.
Perhaps it is because I had low expectations, but I actually loved this film. It had many layers that pulled from different sub-genres, and it kept me fully entertained.
It is not without its dumb moments. The exposition dump is incredibly dumb. One character basically just admits that they were told everything, but just didn't believe it but now it makes sense. But the whole scene felt awkward. Like the writer just needed a place to dump the exposition so they decided to just do it during a random car ride scene.
The first act gave a really good set up, and the second act really carried it forward by introducing an atmospheric reality bend. There were some creepy and unsettling moments that were enhanced with a really fun horror score.
The third act upped the tension and added stress to the thick atmosphere. Some fun practical effects were used to add yet another layer into the mix. The whole experience felt like a classic horror - fun horror with a good atmosphere with creepy visuals and scenes that didn't rely on jump scares.
For a very brief period, I was worried that I was going to be disappointed with the ending. But then, as the final scenes progressed, I ended up loving the ending. I was actually bummed when it ended because I was having so much fun with it. You will definitely see a lot of HP Lovecraft inspiration. All to twist more into one of the funnest endings I have seen in a while with a very almost light and quirky epilogue.
Like I said above, it very well could be because I had such low expectations. It has a rating in the 4s, though I did take into account that horror movies are always rated low. But then I saw that the first couple reviews I looked at had some pretty negative things to say. So I was kind of expecting a bad movie with an ok premise. This turned out to be one of the favorite horror movies I had seen in a while. This will easily become a rewatch on at least a yearly basis.
Freaks (2018)
An Amazing Story
There was a series I use to watch as a kid called Amazing Stories. As a kid, I loved it because the stories were always wild and fantastical, but not overly scary. This movie reminds me of that series.
When it started, I didn't know what genre I was jumping in to. It kind of had a slight horror feel with some of the visions the girl saw. It had a bit of a thriller vibe with a paranoid father. Then we start seeing glimpses of the outside world in this reality, and we find one dancing in the realm of sci-fi. As the movie progresses, we find a mingling of the three, though it does plant its feet strongly in sci-fi.
The acting through the whole movie is quite good. At no point did I feel like any character was pulling me out of the story. Each character got me emotionally invested, and I felt like everyone had great chemistry.
The whole third act was an absolute blast. The world and reality they built were all fully explained, so it was as just a whole act of fun and excitement. There were a lot of "oh, this person is a bad-a$$" moments. At no moment did I stop having fun.
Like I said in the first paragraph, this reminded me of Amazing Stories. There were elements of the supernatural and weirdness, but its primary drive was just fun.
Dagon (2001)
A Fun Campy Movie That Is Objectively Bad... But Still Good... In A Way
The first thing I noticed was that the effects felt like this was a syfy channel product. That isn't a bad thing, not by any means. But it did set the stage for what I should expect from the movie itself. And I got what I expected.
While the film was released in 2001, there is no way in hell you are convincing me this was filmed after 1994. It's not just the effects, but the styles and also the wooden acting. The practical effects remind me of when me and my childhood buddy would rent horror movies from West Coast video - the kind of movies that we would rent purely off the cover art. The special effects looked like cartoons.
Now I know I am not doing a very good job at selling this, but the thing is that this movie is actually amazing. The set design is so much fun. The design of the island town really pulled me in. The stone work. The buildings. The wetness. Everything about the town screams fun VHS rental horror.
The acting is not good. That is one of the main things that originally made me think this was filmed in the late 80's or early 90's. Everyone acts like they just came off set of a Cannon Films production. You never care about any of the characters. They are just people that you are ok when messed up stuff happens to them. They are just like action figures a kid would play with. They don't have a defining personality trait beyond one stereotype. They are just people to perform actions from scene to scene. Yet again, I know this isn't selling it very well, but it makes for such a fun and wild ride because it allows you to have fun with the scenes without worry that your favorite character might die.
It doesn't slowly build. Much like a lot of late 80's and early 90's horror, it throws you in pretty quick. Main character is on the island for maybe five minutes before he is already running for his life. Halfway through the movie, the main character runs into an old man who dumps ALL the exposition. He is the only non-fish person on the island, and he is just like, "let me explain this movie to you."
About 1/8 of the movie is spoken in Spanish. I don't speak Spanish so I have no idea what they were saying. But you really didn't need to know what people are saying. It wasn't that kind of movie. There is no character development. Like I said earlier, just a bunch of living action figures trying to not die at the hands of Lovecraftian fish people.
I very much enjoyed the movie, but I am also a huge HP Lovecraft fan and understand the difficulties of adapting his work. Most of the time the adaptations are just fun and silly, and that's exactly what this is. So, if you are looking for a good strong horror movie that could actively scare you, maybe you should look elsewhere. If you are looking for a unserious and fun ride that makes you think you are watching a VHS in the early 90's with your buddy during a sleepover, then this is exactly what you need.
The Lighthouse (2019)
More of an experience than a movie
This movie shouldn't just be watched casually during the day or during a social event. This is really a movie for people who enjoy film and the art of cinema. I know that sounds very pretentious, but that is the best way I can describe how this movie should be watched. It is really best to watch it in a quiet room, the lights turned way down, and anything that you would want to snack on readily available to you.
The film itself is absolutely gorgeous. But it has to be. Everything that makes this movie had to be made very intentionally, or the movie would be horrible. If this movie was in color, it would be dumb. It is the beautiful shots using light and shadow that really brings you in. Every scene filmed at night took my breath away. The scenes of the mermaid made more surreal because of the lack of color. Like I said, even a touch of color in this movie would have destroyed it.
It is weird and not a typical movie. There is no solid protagonist and antagonist. It is two men falling into madness and the surrealism it depicts. It is a lot of talking, but only between the two main characters. Like I said, not a typical popcorn watching movie. Trying to watch it when it isn't your only focus would be like trying to watch The Seventh Seal at a football party.
So, while I think this movie was beautifully made, be aware of what you are getting into. You will be watching a black and white film of two men arguing, and falling into madness together with pops of the surreal. If that is your jams, then you will love this movie.
Poor Things (2023)
A piece of art that isn't for everyone
This movie is a work of art, and like all pieces of art, it is completely subjective. Where one might find beauty, another finds trash. Me personally? I found one of the best movies of 2023.
Pros:
Visually, it is a masterpiece. Amazing sets, colors, and scenery. Not just the visuals themselves, but also the way it is shot, reminded me of Terry Gilliam.
The acting is top-notch. Emma Stone, Willem Dafoe, Mark Ruffalo, and all the rest absolutely crush it. The comedy. The soul. The odd. They truly deliver on all fronts.
The story was also great for me. It isn't a simplistic story with a classical villain and narrative plot arc. It is more a journey of self-discovery and growth. Think more like Gulliver's Travels. Each chapter is a new experience in a new setting that adds to the totality of the journey. Each chapter slowly growing more realistic as the childlike optimism slowly builds to the realism of an adult world.
Cons:
Some people aren't going to like it because it is a bit odd. If taken literally or over-seriously, many people could also find it distasteful. While I personally found no issue with any of this, I could see how others could.
It runs a little long. While I personally feel that each scene is fully necessary, some may find that it drags on a little.
Overall:
While I know there is reason some may not like it, I personally loved it. It was a beautiful journey both visually and metaphorically. Filled with optimism, and the setting in of cold realism as the human experience shapes us, until God himself is dead. The movie was a visual masterpiece built on the style of old Hollywood without the overuse of CGI.
I think anyone that appreciates the art of filmmaking with appreciate this movie, even if they don't like it. But I can see why people wouldn't like it. This isn't a fun movie that you can just casually watch and enjoy with some popcorn and 3D glasses. But it is a movie that should absolutely be watched.
Underwater (2020)
The back half is better than the front half
Just minutes into the film and disaster strikes. And that was the first big problem. It literally happens before two characters even interact with one another. You never get to see these characters in a relaxed atmosphere. You don't get to see their casual personalities and the relationships they built together. It just jumps directly into the characters trying to survive. Now, this wouldn't be so bad if the survivors then had a regroup period of calm where they get their thoughts together in a calm and rational way, and spend that time building character connections. But this movie doesn't do that. It is just go, go, go from the jump. I don't know who are friends. Who hate each other. I just know they are all people underwater.
There were a lot of scenes that were visually appealing. But you really had to suspend disbelief. This takes place in a world where it is possible to run at full speed on the ocean floor. But it kind of makes it all the more fun. Some of the effects, especially of things biological, look pretty cartoonish the more you see them. It was like the movies I would watch on Sunday morning on TNT in the early 90's. Just absolutely ridiculous, but equally as fun.
I found that the movie got more enjoyable for me a little more than halfway through. They actually get a few minutes to relax and just talk, and you get more of a story build instead of just high tension and people trying not to die.
One of the things I did really enjoy was the synth work in the score. The main theme is very solid and gives a very nostalgic feel. If you read some of my other reviews, you will see that I quite enjoy some nostalgia and synth.
The thing you see at the end is cool. The ending all around is pretty cool.
Overall, it's ok. It's cool. It was fun and visually stimulating. It felt rushed in the beginning. It really had me back and forth on the rating. The first half was a low to mid 6. The last half was a high 7. Overall, I love the concept, and I did enjoy myself, so it gets a 7.
Life (2017)
Like Alien, except not at all
Alien was a dark and suspenseful sci-fi horror movie that built on strong characters that felt unique to themselves, and slow building tension that gradually feeds your anxiety. It was a masterpiece. This is not Alien. But, it wasn't horrible by any means.
What went right?
The actors. They did a great job casting this. Rebecca Ferguson is amazing in pretty much everything she does. The rest of the cast follows step by bringing in solid performances. Really, I can't think of a single person that did a bad job with the material.
It's fun and pretty fast moving. I never really got bored because everything moved pretty quick. You didn't really need to put a lot of thought into it, so it made for just a fun romp.
The ending was cool. Not gonna spoil anything. And it isn't really anything that you don't see coming. But the final three scenes jumping between the two characters was well done and enjoyable.
What went wrong?
The people are dumb. All of them. These people are supposed to be smart, but everything that happens, does so because of stupid decisions made by scientists. Really, the movie could have ended at any time in the first one and a half acts if any character made one good decision.
It was over-lit. There was no suspense because you literally see the creature so early on. And because it is CGI, the brightness of the scenes makes it look like a cartoon at times. The creature was cool looking. I am not trying to take anything away from that. But because you can always clearly see it, you lose that suspense that was so prevalent with the use of shadows in Alien.
It doesn't really build. Sure, the creature itself gets bigger. And they say it gets smarter. But the energy is pretty constant. Once the creature starts killing people, it is just the team running (floating?) from the creature into different areas of the space station.
All the characters are pretty much the same. Doctor is the same person as mechanic, is the same person as scientist, is the same person as other doctor. You don't really get a huge backstory on anyone except that one's wife just had a baby. None of them have an individual personality that really stands out. They all basically just want the same thing and they all get along... but in the same way you get along with yourself. There is no reason not to get along because they all react the same exact way to everything.
They could have spent more time explaining the creature. It would have been interesting at least. Seems like they just rushed to get to the killings.
So, while it may look like a disliked it, I have to say that I did enjoy it. Sure, compared to something like Alien, it is going to be garbage. It's not good in that way. But it is still a very fun watch. Like if Alien was made by Michael Bay. Yeah, that movie would be objectively bad. It wouldn't be a good movie. But, and hear me out, it would be so much fun to watch. This is like that. Like Deep Blue Sea with a floaty starfish alien. They rush to the action and just keep it flat. But, it keeps you entertained and watching. For all the bad, I still give it a solid 7.
Blue Beetle (2023)
Not super original, but the city, score, and overall experience is so much fun.
This is not the best super hero movie ever made. It is not my favorite comic book movie, nor is it even my favorite DC movie. But this one is better than average.
One of the biggest things this movie did right was by creating a city that had personality. It was bright, it was purely fictional, and it added to the feeling of the movie. So many comic book movies just take place in non-descript cities. Sure, Marvel is supposed to take place in real world cities, but one of the things I always loved about DC was their ability to create their own cities. This is the first superhero movie since the Burton / Schumacher Batman movies where it felt like a lot of thought went into the world.
I also loved the overall look and score. The score had a lot of synth and it gave off a lot of really fun late 80's nostalgia. It made it an overall really fun watch.
The story isn't really anything special. Kind of just a version of Iron Man and Ant Man. But really, most of the modern superhero origin movies are just reworkings of Richard Donner's Superman. So it isn't like we are swimming in a pool of originality and creativity with these things. You can see why James Gunn didn't want this movie itself to be a part of his new universe, but he did want the character, actor, and setting. This world has the potential to be great with a little more care and creativity with the script.
The city, synth score, and overall look of the film is a fun experience easily worth an 8. I bumped it down to a 7, just because I feel like a little more care could have went into the originality of the script. If this movie came out in 2008, it would have been a hit. But this story line has been way too played out now that we are in 2024.
But don't let the 7 keep you from watching it. 7 is still a good rating, and this movie is a lot of fun.
Leave the World Behind (2023)
I really wanted to like this more
I really thought this movie was going to be better. I deliberately didn't read anything about it so that I could watch it fresh. When it started, I was very into it, but then it continued.
The movie starts off with some very solid mysteries. You don't know who to trust. You don't know what is happening or why it is happening. It very much had an M. Night Shyamalan feel. And like some M. Night movies, it gets less interesting the longer it continues.
I was about an hour into this two hour and twenty minute movie when I realized that the tension and mystery wasn't building, but just kind of hovering. No new information is ever really delivered. A couple times, Mahershala Ali's character delivers some information that he learned from his friend and his work, but each time, the story changes to the point where it sounds like he is just making it up as he goes and is maybe a compulsive liar.
Because you don't get to see much of anything new, you are stuck with just these two groups living together. In situations like that, you really need to like or be invested in the characters. That doesn't happen in this movie. At no point did I care about a single one of these characters.
There is one pretty cool scene close to the end. But that was really it. It was like seeing a glimpse of something interesting, on a very boring ride. By the time it ends, you are just left thinking, "was that it?"