Arnie may have been better in The Last Stand but he's probably the best thing about this movie. Sly is the lead but most of the movie is rather unspectacular when it revolves around his character. Sly knows his audience to a fault. Meaning, he gives us a mix of "Expendables" with "Tango and Cash" to close the film. Sometimes that 80's cheese works (putting a machine gun in Arnie's hands!) and sometimes it simply is too silly to enjoy. The entire finale really didn't need to be that over-the-top in my opinion. Plus, the excessive body count in the third act seemed out of place and unnecessary. Part of me likes the 80's throwback flavor of these stars. Maybe too big a part of me if I'm being honest.
Reviews
11 Reviews
Iron Man: Rise of Technovore
(2013 Video)
Mr. Sparkle Meet Iron Man With The Dumbest Plot Ever As A Backdrop
22 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Did the animators even read there own synopsis? "Iron Man is framed by a technological terrorist, and breaks out to stop him and clear his name." What frame job??? This thing could be the dumbest animated thing I've ever watched and I watched She-Ra Princess of Power when I was a child.
I'm not really an anime fan. Are all imports this badly written and this moronic? SPOILER... So, an unknown agent attacks a space launch on American soil and the first thing SHIELD does is commit a billion dollars in technology and ordinance to kill Tony Stark??? WHAT? It was a Stark launch that killed or wounded 300 of his own people. SHIELD knows it was a foreign agent yet they throw everything they have with "deadly force" at Stark because he didn't stick around to give them more information??? That could be the dumbest thing I've seen in a while.
The animation looked good at times but the action was all just a jarring mess. You couldn't even tell what was going on. This had all the flavor and common sense of The Simpsons "Mr. Sparkle" commercial.
Marvel needs to abandon anime and find someone that can deliver an animated feature that doesn't suck.
I'm not really an anime fan. Are all imports this badly written and this moronic? SPOILER... So, an unknown agent attacks a space launch on American soil and the first thing SHIELD does is commit a billion dollars in technology and ordinance to kill Tony Stark??? WHAT? It was a Stark launch that killed or wounded 300 of his own people. SHIELD knows it was a foreign agent yet they throw everything they have with "deadly force" at Stark because he didn't stick around to give them more information??? That could be the dumbest thing I've seen in a while.
The animation looked good at times but the action was all just a jarring mess. You couldn't even tell what was going on. This had all the flavor and common sense of The Simpsons "Mr. Sparkle" commercial.
Marvel needs to abandon anime and find someone that can deliver an animated feature that doesn't suck.
The Avengers
(2012)
As Amazing As Any Movie Ever Made!
27 July 2012
In keeping with Marvel's best efforts, Joss Whedon sets this movie apart from every other standard adventure movie, by the way he communicates the overall experience. We live the story and we feel the intensity and gravity of every situation. We fully embrace the characters as we go along on this amazing ride. It's so wonderful that we got to know each of the major players in their own solo movie(s) before this adventure. That just adds a ton to the depth. This movie isn't about comic book pulp or things that go "boom" but about a powerful, exciting and meaningful story. The elements are fantastical but perfectly balanced by the characters and the way Whedon grounds everything.
Visual and emotional imagery are presented throughout the movie and provides the viewer with greater insight into the heroes AND even the villain. Everything here screams quality and screams fun all the way through. Yes, despite the depth and serious consequences there is a great deal of fun. That's something I'm so grateful that Marvel usually delivers. For those going into this flick expecting a lot of fun, prepare to enjoy. But remember, fun is not the only piece of this pie. In fact, I think most movie fans will be stunned at how many levels this movie delivers upon.
This is a smart and surprisingly deep film that really delivers on everything promised in all those teaser set-ups from other Marvel films.
Visual and emotional imagery are presented throughout the movie and provides the viewer with greater insight into the heroes AND even the villain. Everything here screams quality and screams fun all the way through. Yes, despite the depth and serious consequences there is a great deal of fun. That's something I'm so grateful that Marvel usually delivers. For those going into this flick expecting a lot of fun, prepare to enjoy. But remember, fun is not the only piece of this pie. In fact, I think most movie fans will be stunned at how many levels this movie delivers upon.
This is a smart and surprisingly deep film that really delivers on everything promised in all those teaser set-ups from other Marvel films.
Contraband
(2012)
the writing and character beats are atrocious yet the second half saves the film
17 January 2012
Contraband– The first half or so of this movie is very "see spot run" with nothing clever or, frankly, intriguing going on. It's like being on a UPS delivery run and is workman like. Then, while still not delivering anything clever, it finally kicks in to gear and actually finishes strong. The fine cast elevates the overall mark but I have to say Kate Beckinsale is absolutely wasted in this effort. She's a brainless and useless wife in distress character that isn't even given the chance to be eye candy. She's written as a possession with no depth. Overall, the writing and character beats are atrocious yet I somewhat enjoyed the movie somehow.
Contagion
(2011)
underwhelmed bigtime... very disappointing film with no depth at all
9 September 2011
Warning: Spoilers
I really have to say that I was completely underwhelmed by this experience. It's not a bad film but it certainly is no thriller. It's exactly what it says. A film about disease and the spreading of said disease. There's no real connection with any of the characters or any of the stars of the cast. They try with Damon and Fishburne's characters but they spend large chunks of this film absent from the story. It's a messy grab bag of a film that splinters and runs off in many directions for no reason at all. Also, the impact of this global disaster wasn't even depicted to the level one would expect. It certainly takes a shortcut through just what an economic disaster this would create. No "evil" liberal blogger would be able to profit and everyone would be economically devastated as much as anything.
Overall, very disappointing.
Overall, very disappointing.
Conan the Barbarian
(2011)
So dumb and repetitive that it's actually DULL
24 August 2011
Well, this certainly is a movie about a guy named Conan who is a barbarian and likes to hack people with his sword. I guess it should come as no surprise that there is absolutely nothing more to this film than that. In fact, this struck me as the quintessential bloody video game movie complete with repetitive action and boss battles every ten minutes or so. What makes it not even popcorn fun is the repetitive nature of every single battle/action scene. Beside the rather cool sandman attack squad, nothing in this film dazzles or enthralls in any way. After a while, even with all the blood and bashing, I grew very bored. I'd say when people complain about lack of action in other summer tent pole films this movie should be sited as an example as one where too much mindless action makes a movie dull as anything.
Ultimate Avengers: The Movie
(2006 Video)
Ultimate Avengers = Near Perfection ... GREAT Animated Film
25 February 2006
I like the fact that jealous DC fans are trying their frustrated best to find flaws and bash this instant classic. It's a sure fire sign that Marvel did their job and gave us one quality animated feature.
I do agree that the movie wasn't as "complex" as the Ultimates in that it did not have the heroes intermingled with politics like the comics did. That's a good thing, however. Infusing politics is going to divide your audience because not all of them are going to agree. Quite frankly, I get tired of movies that preach politics to me and would prefer sometimes to be transported into another world that doesn't lecture to me. Most moviegoers seem to agree, as the highest grossing movies of 2005 were STAR WARS, NARNIA, HARRY POTTER, FANTASTIC FOUR, etc. All fantasy films.
Some fools are trying to complain about this masterful animation? What are they talking about? Did they want a CGI movie on par with FINAL FANTASY from a few years ago? That's very unrealistic and that movie bombed bigtime. Personally, I thought the animation was excellent. I loved the way Cap's shield seem to glimmer in almost every scene. The battle sequences were phenomenal. I watched the movie with those "factoid" bubbles activated and they mentioned some interesting items about the complexity of the animation. The characters looked great. Iron Man looked ten times better then he does in the Ultimates book. Attempted bashers of this film should move on to another item. The animation is anything but a weakness.
I thought Ultimate Avengers was near perfect and really couldn't have expected more. Keeping the "Ultimate" BS to a minimum was a SEVERE improvement in my opinion.
A very good effort all around here and I hope they don't change one thing for Avengers 2.
I do agree that the movie wasn't as "complex" as the Ultimates in that it did not have the heroes intermingled with politics like the comics did. That's a good thing, however. Infusing politics is going to divide your audience because not all of them are going to agree. Quite frankly, I get tired of movies that preach politics to me and would prefer sometimes to be transported into another world that doesn't lecture to me. Most moviegoers seem to agree, as the highest grossing movies of 2005 were STAR WARS, NARNIA, HARRY POTTER, FANTASTIC FOUR, etc. All fantasy films.
Some fools are trying to complain about this masterful animation? What are they talking about? Did they want a CGI movie on par with FINAL FANTASY from a few years ago? That's very unrealistic and that movie bombed bigtime. Personally, I thought the animation was excellent. I loved the way Cap's shield seem to glimmer in almost every scene. The battle sequences were phenomenal. I watched the movie with those "factoid" bubbles activated and they mentioned some interesting items about the complexity of the animation. The characters looked great. Iron Man looked ten times better then he does in the Ultimates book. Attempted bashers of this film should move on to another item. The animation is anything but a weakness.
I thought Ultimate Avengers was near perfect and really couldn't have expected more. Keeping the "Ultimate" BS to a minimum was a SEVERE improvement in my opinion.
A very good effort all around here and I hope they don't change one thing for Avengers 2.
Man of the House
(I) (2005)
Save your money! JUST AWFUL
25 February 2005
It's as bad as you've heard and I blame myself really. When the previews were not very funny, clue #1. When the previews are pretty much the entire move, clue #2. When simple minded idiots are laughing hysterically at the trailer, clue #3. But I took a chance and wow- this was a really bad movie. It is very predictable. I love Tommy Lee Jones but he couldn't even save this. The cheerleaders were horrible actresses. Cedric was very hokey, all of his stunts and jokes were cheesy and have been done before. (And they weren't funny then!) The target audience must be 12 year old boys because that is the only people that I could justify finding this movie decent. I managed to stick out through the whole film but we saw a few people exit the theater completely. Save your money!
Spider-Man 2
(2004)
Ebert is right... best of 2004 and best of genera!
25 February 2005
I'm glad to see this amazing film back in the top 250 movies of all-time here at IMDb. Credit the drop to a jealous frenzy of fools who voted it 1 out of 10 because of some strange agenda. I'm glad the true rating is gradually sliding back to where it belongs. I agree with Roger Ebert who states that this is the best film of this genera and I also agree with him when he states that it should've been nominated by the academy for best picture of 2004.
Even in an era when an explosion of comic-book superheroes is hitting the silver screen, Spider-Man stands alone. You must own this flick! It's tight, emotional, lean and superbly done and I enjoyed it even more on the small screen because the extras were fascinating and very well done.
Even in an era when an explosion of comic-book superheroes is hitting the silver screen, Spider-Man stands alone. You must own this flick! It's tight, emotional, lean and superbly done and I enjoyed it even more on the small screen because the extras were fascinating and very well done.
Open Range
(2003)
Great film! I highly recommend it!
25 February 2005
Open Range ranks among one of my 2003 top ten favorite films. I love a good westerns and Costner's film delivers. Despite its smart pace and the lack of a subplot, it's an engrossing drama featuring two great characters and a climax that's the ultimate cinematic "event" of 2003. I highly recommend this film.
Released in 2003 to little fanfare, Open Range hit theaters like an indie movie: quietly but with good word-of-mouth. It tells the best story of the year and is a true cinematic triumph.
Open Range feels like a different kind of western. The protracted opening of the cowboys in their lush valley is a slow-paced poem, not a violent comic book. Unexceptional setbacks -- like a stuck wagon or a flood in the middle of the little town -- provide a detail and texture the stereotypical western is too busy to notice. Even the gunfight takes on a new visual style as shot cowboys fly back with the horrific force of a bullet, instead of gently falling over backwards. Great film!
Released in 2003 to little fanfare, Open Range hit theaters like an indie movie: quietly but with good word-of-mouth. It tells the best story of the year and is a true cinematic triumph.
Open Range feels like a different kind of western. The protracted opening of the cowboys in their lush valley is a slow-paced poem, not a violent comic book. Unexceptional setbacks -- like a stuck wagon or a flood in the middle of the little town -- provide a detail and texture the stereotypical western is too busy to notice. Even the gunfight takes on a new visual style as shot cowboys fly back with the horrific force of a bullet, instead of gently falling over backwards. Great film!
The Passion of the Christ
(2004)
excellent motion picture that I think will be remembered throughout time
25 February 2005
This film was very inspiring and opened my eyes! This film may be very brutally depicted, but only for the truest known experiences. I believe that the film makers and producers were trying to get across their message, and did so very well. This would probably not be suitable for those who aren't old enough to understand the meaning of the film. For those that are into the faith of the lord, or want to introduce the religion into their life, I highly recommend this film. I was brought to tears during moments, but only because it touched my heart. The passion, in my opinion is a very good way to bring across the crucifixion of the lord. All who witness this film do NOT only look at the brutality. Look at the message: that Christ went through a lot to pay for our sins, because he loves us so dear. I feel this is at least one of my all time favorite films! Even though the movie was translated through the native tongue, if you truly are into the moment, no words would be needed. This is an excellent motion picture that I think will be remembered throughout time. Twenty thumbs up, and forty stars!
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