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Reviews
Girl in Room 13 (2022)
Subject matter was so poorly executed...
Why does LMN even bother making movies like this if they can't even portray the stories right. Law & Order:SVU does a better job at making a story seem so real that it sends shivers up your spine. But this? This isn't it people. Just because you have a gripping story to tell doesn't mean that it will sell itself.
For starters how in the world was he able to kidnap her to begin with? He had no weapon, no knife or a gun. And I understand that it is more then possible to abduct someone with sheer force a lone, but come on. The guy was skinny... you're telling me she never fought back because she was "scared". Make it believable people! Even when he forced her into the grocery store and claimed he would kill her...WITH WHAT?! It just didn't feel as if it had any substance at all, as if she was just complying with her kidnapper because it was the entire plot of the movie. And yes she did fight back to a degree, begged for her life, tried to run away...but I can guarantee you that in the real world a woman might be scared but she would be more willing to fight back if the man trying to abduct her was completely unarmed.
I'd love to meet the people who review these movies before they are aired because it felt like watching a crappy Hallmark movie that didn't want to "take it too far". I get that this is a very sensitive and dark topic, but these movies are meant to inform viewers of how serious human sex trafficking is. "Girl in room 13" fell ridiculously short of that only because it failed to tell the story properly.
Pro tip: If you can't portray a story to it's full extent, DON'T PORTRAY IT AT ALL!
The Requin (2022)
Wow...
This did nothing but give me a good laugh. Everything about this film was terrible. The acting. The special effects. All of it. I figured this would be a low-budget film so I wasn't expecting anything too over the top. But even Lake Placid was better then this crap.
Jigsaw (2017)
Mundane at best. A cheaper copy.
I couldn't stomach this movie, at all. Granted, The Saw movies were an acquired taste. Not everyone loved them an you can argue that they didn't get much better as the series progressed. I for one love the Saw movies regardless, an Tobin Bell will always go down as one of my favorite actors for a serial killers.
But what in the hell was that? A failed attempt at a sequel, a cheap copy. The carnage that we have come to expect seemed muddled an left to the imagination, which we all know is not the theme for any Saw movie. It always left you on the edge of your seat and made you look away whenever you knew particularly gruesome part was on the way. And the overall feel didn't give you that normal "Jigsaw" aesthetic.
As a true Saw fan...I was disappointed.
The Christmas Chronicles (2018)
Kurt Russell, best Santa since Tim Allen.
I gave this movie a full 10 for a lot of different reasons.
When I initially saw the trailors for this movie, I was hesitant. Not because of the actors because i'm a huge Kurt fan, but because for me it's been hard for anyone to top a Santa based movie since Time Allen appeares in the first installment of "The Santa Clause". And I honestly thought this was just going to be another movie trying to be just as good but failing in all aspects. The trailors from first glance made me laugh and eagor to watch. From the realistic look of the Reindeer despite their being CGI, to the beautiful look of Santa, from his suit to his beard...Kurt looked like a modern day Santa while still maintaining that authenticity. All the magic an wonder still remained true to every spirit that is Christmas.
I loved this movie from the begining to the end. Kurt made Santa wimsical, comical, delightfully down to earth while still maintaining the fact that's pretty ancient. And in some scenes you have to admit...he made Santa look like a dare-devling bad-ass. He had me laughing on numerous occassions because he made Santa seem like a big kid who never really grew up. And the story is always the same, you don't have to understand Santa or how he works his magic...you just have to believe and know he's watching you.
Of course Santa isn't real but this movie just grabs your Christmas imagination and let's you wonder what it would be like if we actually lived in a world where Santa did exist and what he would be like. Everyone expects Santa to seem the exact same way in every adaption but maybe that isn't the case. The CGI of the magic, reindeer an even the elves was spot on. They were so cute!
And Goldie Hawn appearing at the end as Mrs. Claus was just perfect.
The only thing that disappointed me about this movie is that it wasn't longer. But I came to the realization that the disappointment I felt wasn't because this movie "could have" been longer - an granted, it probably good have - but when the movie ended I didn't fee like they skipped anything or left anything open. It seemed fitting that it was shorter. And honestly, as movie watchers we always expect movies to be longer simply because that is what we're used to. But sometimes it sucks to see a movie drag on for almost two hours when the overall story isn't ALL that complicated. Let's face it...Santa isn't exactly a new concept LOL.
What I also loved about this movie is the fact that it didn't focus on the little sister so much as it did her bigger brother. As the story plays out you realize through small tidbits that Santa wanted to help Teddy realize the magic of Christmas didn't just disappear after his Father passed away. But that it lived on even without him.
I could spend this review gushing over every little detail that I loved but I think i'll end this by telling you...watch this movie. It's a great film an even better for kids. Lol I hope you love it as much as I do!
Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon: The Movie (2014)
Worst Adaption i've ever seen!
I understand that this was supposed to be fan made. I get it. And we as fans don't have the budget to make good movies...but there are SO MANY things wrong with this, it would take three reviews to summarize them all.
This movie is a combination of bad cosplayers who are equally bad as actors. Searching for the rainbow crystals? They don't look for the Rainbow Crystals until after Sailor Moon has found all of her Senshi.
Jupiter falls for Jedite? Lame. Moving on. Set in NewYork? Yea, no.
If your going to try and cram an entire season into one movie, at least make it accurate. They butchered the entire story just to make it work for two hours. Not to mention the outstandingly poor graphics. I've seen other fans try an ruin this show, not to mention DIC with their horrible English dub in the 90's. This "movie" isn't any better. If it was just the poor graphics, horrible cosplays and terrible acting that would be one thing. But they completely ruined the story on top of it all.