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The Arrival (1996)
Thought I was going to get into an interesting sci fi flick.
But this is slapstick campy nonsense. The tone is way off. As soon as the kid entered the picture I was checked out. Stereotypical hapless front gate guard, disorganized brilliant scientist with a junky car, mysterious government agents taking your results, girlfriend getting promoted at the most inopportune time, sitting in the grass right as the sprinklers turn on, boss pulls project's funding... so much cookie-cutter writing. Did the writers put this together at a weekend science camp? I dare you to watch this for five minutes and not scoff at Sheen's goatee. I was hoping for Contact, but got Bio Dome instead.
The Nightingale (2018)
Very difficult to watch.
But if we don't see the horrors of the world portrayed in fiction, then we might not be able to imagine them if they never happen to us. So, this is an important movie.
Nocturnal Animals (2016)
Junk
Nothing special about this movie. Nothing unique. Nothing satisfying. It's boring and slow and you will be happy it's over when the credits roll. Don't waste your time. Jake's accent is awful.
Cell (2016)
Turned off this steaming pile.
The cat was my favorite character. That's all. Just the cat. If you like cats, watch this for the five seconds of adorable cat footage. Probably Sam Jackson's worst movie.
Top Gun: Maverick (2022)
"Talk to Me, Tom Cruise"
First of all, it was extremely arrogant for Tom Cruise to give the prologue. Who does that? The movie relies too heavily on lines from the original. "Talk to me..." is uttered at least ten times. There was zero character development. Revealing the pilots' call signs was the laziest exposition I've ever seen in a movie. "Here comes A and B and C!!" and then we never hear about them again. In the first movie, you learn their names from their helmets and from the training sequences. Who is the enemy? Ffs just say it was North Korea. "Fifth generation fighter" is used half a dozen times. You don't even have a name for the enemy jet? The pilots are joking around way too much in the cockpits. It felt like an Avengers movie with the heavy-handed jokes. The two main characters eject in enemy territory and just waltz right onto the enemy flight line and steal a plane. Ridiculous. This was just an excuse for Tom Cruise to fly in a jet one more time before he gets too old. It gets 2 stars cuz the action sequences were mildly exciting. This movie has no heart. No soul.
Mare of Easttown (2021)
Red herrings are a lazy tool.
This show was garbage. Absolutely awful. Don't waste your time.
Truth Be Told (2019)
Something Changed in the Middle
If the entire show was like the first three episodes, I'd probably give it a 9 or even 10. It kind of loses you, though. Something is different with the last half and I can't put my finger on it. The last few episodes are very difficult to follow. Found myself just ready for it to be over.
Centigrade (2020)
Awful dialogue.
Got five minutes in and turned it off. These characters are so unlikeable. They immediately spiral into conflict at the first sign of trouble and bicker and fight the whole time. If I was stuck in the vehicle with either one of them, I'd be desperately trying to start the car and let the carbon monoxide take me. Seriously, though, folks. Don't start your car when you're snowed in lol.
The Outpost (2019)
Lasted about five minutes...
As soon as the shooting started, I noticed they used CGI for the muzzle flashes. Pathetic.
The Lazarus Effect (2015)
Nonsensical.
I've got like 20 minutes left and honestly I don't even know what's going on anymore.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Why does this feel like a movie for children?
I've seen the older ones way back in the day and liked them alright. Well, I decided to sit down and watch 1-9 in order, cuz we all got time right now, am I right? Anyway, I got as far as Jar Jar. Now I finally see what all the jokes are about. This is just dumb. How can anyone even understand him? Ewen McGregor and Liam Neeson are standing there talking to Animal from Muppet Babies and I just don't know how their careers survived this, honestly. So, if you have a 9 year old that's interested in Sci-fi, this would be a great pick.
Kajaki (2014)
Had To Turn On the Subtitles
Haha great movie but my simple Alabama country self couldn't understand a word these dudes were sayin'. For real though I loved it.
Midsommar (2019)
Mindless Drivel
The director just wanted to do a bunch of messed up stuff in broad daylight with the backdrop of beautiful scenery. It's a weird movie and you won't get anything from it. You'll see the ending coming a mile away.
Hamburger Hill (1987)
Cheeseburger Hill
In no way do I intend to disrespect the actual soldiers who fought in this battle, but this movie should be ashamed of itself. It's cheaply made with terrible explosions and lame tropes. I made it about five minutes in and gave up when the dude picks the grenade off his dying friend and tosses it at the enemy. "Die!!!" Don't waste your time. This script never should have made it to production.
El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (2019)
Ehhh Whatever
It's basically just the 12 hours following the last episode plus a LOT of flashbacks. Was great to see the characters, but Walt just died and we don't get to see Skylar, Marie, Walt Jr., etc. Since those people clearly didn't want to come back for this film, maybe it would have been best to go with a more broad timeline. In the current one, it feels imperative to see how the fam is doing after getting Hank's burial site and Walt's death. Last night after watching this I gave it a 7. Today after thinking about it more it has dropped to a 5. It doesn't sit well with you. This 5 is generous because Jesse is my favorite, but he just mopes and groans and moans. Netflix clearly just threw a bunch of money at Vince Gilligan and he said "ehhh whatever I'll do it."
It Follows (2014)
No Horror Here
Nothing scary at all. Not even jump scares!! The only reason it even deserves one star is curiosity. I was just wondering where it was going. Well, it even let me down there. Worst movie I've seen in a while. I have no idea the point of even making it.
Gremlins (1984)
Elite Score and Atmosphere
The score and the atmosphere make this movie so fantastic. I finally was able to put a finger on it.
Mindhunter: Episode #2.7 (2019)
What's with the sudden change of tone and style?
When Holden is running to put the cross up, it's the low-point of the show. They need to get back on track with the storyline. Enough of Bill's kid. They already jumped the shark with that one but I'm sticking with it because it still interests me. This episode was the worst of the entire show, though.
Mindhunter (2017)
Holt McCallany is a Revelation
He's the reason I watch Mindhunter. This dude is a fantastic actor and I'm glad he finally got a prominent role like this.
Mindhunter: Episode #1.4 (2017)
Holt McCallany is a Revelation
The moment they sit down with the guy is Mr. McCallany's magnum opus. They way he lays it out straight to him: "What's the rest of your day look like?" Fantastic acting. His role as The Beast in Shot Caller was my favorite role of his, but he didn't get enough screen time in that movie. He's the reason I watch Mindhunter. This dude is a fantastic actor and I'm glad he finally got a prominent role like this.