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Reviews
Reel Horror (1985)
Every Review of this movie doesn't get it
Waaaaaaaaay back in the 80s , when vhs ruled the world, there was a strange genre of horror movie clip show tapes that circulated through video rental stores. Terror on Tape, Zombiethon, Terror in the Aisles just to name a few. The people reviewing this film clearly are too young or too uneducated to remember this. Yes, it's a bunch of clips of old movies. Yes the wraparound is poorly made and badly acted. THATS WHAT THE FOLKS THAT LIVED IN THAT ERA LOVED ABOUT THESE! They were stupid but showed you clips of other dumb movies for you to track down! Like an extended trailer reel. I always love the people that say movies like this is "the worst thing they've ever watched ". You just dont get it. Sorry.
CarousHELL (2016)
Rudzinski does it again!
As a long time fan of Mr. Rudzinski's work I must say that this is is finest hour! The film is funnier than hell and absolutely kills on every level! You get hot naked punk chick banging a carousel unicorn! Steve, himself, as a hilarious pizza guy, ignoring the advances of a beautiful woman in order to collect his fare. And of course Duke, the most hilarious sentient unicorn i've ever seen. The gore was top notch (especially the melting scene at the end) and every kill is more unique than the last. Seriously have to give it up to the sheer number of unicorn related kills that this crew came up with. Definitely one of the years best indie films if not best horror films in general of 2016! Loved every second of this film and can't wait for the further adventures of Duke!
Krampus: The Christmas Devil (2013)
dear lord
Jason Hull had something great going for him. He jumped in on the ground floor of the ever growing love of the Krampus legend. Then he took all the money he collected to make the film and spent it on hookers and PCP. I figured that this film was going to be a giant piece of crap but considering the supposed budget and hype of the film (being the first to tackle Krampus) I figured it would at least be an entertaining kind of bad. instead its a complete mess of detective drama/serial killer thriller/and horror film. Almost unwatchable even if you ignore how Jason completely ignores every bit of the krampus legend and instead turns this into a bad episode of Law and Order SVU. Ruined my Christmas. And my life
Jagoff Massacre (2013)
Lies!
Anyone who's ever visited Pittsburgh PA will be taken aback by the accuracy of the characters and their yinzer accents. The problem here is that I have been involved in several satanic cults in the city and have to say that all of them have been spot on. The idea that local cults are anything but accurate is appalling! Shame on Daniel Boyd and for some reason not listed director Tim Gross (I assume because Boyd's ego is truly immaculate and he wants full credit for this masterpiece) Anyways, great movie. Screw you Martin Scorsese for turning this script down multiple times. The Departed? Really? Apparently this review needs to have 10 lines. You guys ever seen Slumber Party Massacre? Good stuff. I sure do love cats. Prepare for the sequel to this movie. It will ruin you.