SloberDon Reviews

The Artist (I) (2011)

Joining The Praise... LOVED this Instant Classic!

[6 January 2012]

Despite the great word of mouth and good press, I'm still stunned at how much I enjoyed this effort. I never thought in a million years that a silent movie made in the modern era would make my best of the year list but it did and it's right at the top. The movie exudes charm as it develops and then grabs the viewer with its story and symbolism. It turns far darker then I expected and maybe runs a bit long but that doesn't diminish my overall fondness for this picture. Yeah, that's right, this is one swell picture with a cast of good eggs! The casting director should take a bow because everyone was so perfect in their vintage roles and mannerisms. Everything fits and everything works and I really can't wait to see this one again.

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)

thrilling and engaging, best of the bunch

[5 January 2012]

This is an absolutely thrilling and engaging movie from start to finish. It's intelligent and well structured and although wild, not so much so as to make it unbelievable or cartoon-like. For me, this is the best Mission Impossible movie of the four in the franchise. How many franchises can you say that about and mean it? I'm not a big fan of real life Tom Cruise but putting that aside, he proved that he still has the action chops with this late year gem. The nods to the previous film were well done and added depth to the overall experience. It's a very enjoyable thrill ride and one of my favorites of the year. I really didn't see that coming at all.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Simply An Outstanding Movie On Every Level

[30 July 2011]

To this movie's credit, they never assumed that the advertising or hype or even the look alone was good enough to put butts in the seats. Without question, the makers of this movie went all the way in making it a satisfying experience for not just the fans but for the uninitiated as well. It's a fun yet an intelligent movie that actually works way above the level set up by previous comic adaptations. They really respect the source material but they've accentuated the believable and realistic angles of this wild concept. No cosmic ray storm or aliens with impossible powers to try and sell. This is a story about great characters and remarkable heroes. The action stemming from that is amazing. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this movie and how refreshing it was to see.

Captain America is simply an outstanding movie on every level. Even most of the attempted nitpicks don't hold any water whatsoever. When people want to hate on a film but can't find legitimate arguments, you know that's a quality film. I wish the fans of other films that couldn't compare to the Marvel films this summer would just get over it. Sure, Thor, X-Men and now Cap have outclassed everything else this summer by a ton but that's no reason to be defensive or even worried that they overshadowed your film. That's life. It's quite petty to try and bash a great film because you're an overzealous fan of another franchise. (Disappointed Green Lantern fans, I'm looking right at you.) The action sequences are spectacular and the story-line keeps you riveted from start to finish. The movie grabs you and eventually drops your jaw right to the floor. From there, the story grabs you and it's one big roller coaster ride to the heart rendering finish. This is what the summer is for!

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

Delivers wall to wall self-consciously cheesy and idiotic moments

[19 May 2011]

It's more of the same - and that's really the problem. The first movie was fun and interesting but the two sequels that followed insisted on trying to top the first but all they delivered was crazy over the top CG madness that most found to be genuinely uninteresting. I was expecting better this time around even though I don't know why. Everything in the trailers screamed crazy cheese but I was hoping for the best. Instead, this movie delivers wall to wall self-consciously cheesy and idiotic moments. Why not just stay home and rent the last two sequels? This movie misses the fun but does go far beyond dumb.

It's too bad On Stranger Tides is such a miserable end to the franchise, and I do pray it IS the end. I have no doubt it'll open big, but if the awful reaction this has received is any indication, word of mouth is going to be poison.

Bridesmaids (I) (2011)

chick flick concentrate = NOT funny in the least

[17 May 2011]

This movie is being advertised as "the Hangover for women" and not your typical chick flick but I find that to be the most false advertising of all-time. Not only is this thing a typical chick flick, it's like chick flick concentrate. I honestly can't imagine many men laughing or enjoying this film if they're being totally honest. How this qualifies being called a comedy almost beyond belief. It's an average story about a "relatable" woman with issues that grows and discovers herself and true love over the course of a film. YAWN. Very little is funny in even the remotest of ways. Maybe the ending could be considered heartwarming but any praise this film generates has got to be from people desperately wanting it to be good or wanting it to be funny because, quite frankly, it's neither.

It is, however, a strong contender for most overrated movie of the year. If you're a guy, do yourself a favor and avoid this like the plague even on DVD. Many of us will get persuaded to see it like I did but don't say you weren't warned.

I'd say the critics don't want to tell the truth about this film because they either don't want to anger the women in their lives or their female patrons. Seriously.

Thor (2011)

An Amazing Film

[15 May 2011]

I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. Each frame is packed with either action, emotion, drama or intensity. I was expecting to simply see crazy mythology with monsters destroying the landscape for two hours like maybe Clash of the Titans. Instead, I was shocked at the depth and complexity of this amazing film. You definitely need your brain and your heart turned on for this one, unlike certain CGI mishmashes. If you want a movie with just dumb action and no plot then stay away from this exceptional film. The performances are top tier and the visual effects may be the best I've seen in years if not ever. I have to join the majority of people and even critics that are praising this film. It's a true joy and such a pleasant surprise.

Priest (2011)

Stuff this BAD should be dumped in non-summer months

[15 May 2011]

As I watched the movie, I could see the writers of the graphic novel from which this mess sprang trying to cobble together something they could sell to pay the rent. "What if we mix the next two movies we see as we flip the channels?" They must have seen Blade and The Searchers. They combined the two concepts but stole none of the heart or fun of either film. Please tell me other people aren't actually considering paying to see this trash??? May means summer and stuff this bad should be dumped in non-summer months. Studios need to be taught a lesson and leave direct to DVD content like this out of the cinema. Not everything that's ever appeared in a graphic novel needs to be adapted because you feel a need to cash in on the comic book movie craze.

If there was any good action or even some nudity I could forgive this awful plot. There's simply any skin shown to send blood rushing away from my brain and to my privates. If you're male and at all coherent, this movie just flat out sucks.

The Social Network (2010)

Well Told Story but, it seems, OVERRATED

[6 October 2010]

An extremely well told story that would've dragged or fallen apart in any other format. It's very compelling and it certainly keeps your attention all the way through and that's no small task considering the subject matter and the fact that it's all depositions and flashbacks. There are remarkable performances all the way around. The reason this film stubs its toe is the fact that it's the story of a correctly labeled A-hole becoming the world's youngest billionaire. The opening scene delivers the line that people don't hate him because he's a nerd, it's because he's an A-hole. Then, the writers of the film take the next two hours to basically prove that point. They close with a line that says he's actually not an A-hole but is trying to be. Well, if a character tries hard enough, he is indeed an A-hole. And, it's tough to pull for or take a journey with an A-hole on screen. I honestly don't know if this tale should be taken as real life fact but as a film, it's hard to spend two hours disliking a lead even if the story is remarkably interesting.

It's a solid technical film and often quite smart but emotionally and sometimes as entertainment, it falls short. Critics and apparently some fans are blowing this film far in to the land of overrated.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010)

Terrible, I can't remember a film that screams video game this much.

[4 June 2010]

This is exactly what anyone would expect, a completely spastic video game based movie. Visually interesting but lacking in every way that matters. From start to finish, I can't remember a film that screams video game this much. You know where the story will end and you know the lead (displaying Spider-Man type powers for some reason) is never in any danger. So many "what if" moments that if you do the silly thing and try and think about what's on screen, you'll actually hurt yourself.

PP tries to be nothing but popcorn fun but ultimately your popcorn bucket empties. There was no thought put into the effects and there certainly was no thought put in to the writing. The action scenes are weak simply because they scream cartoon. The entire movie lacks real energy and especially lacks heart. Not only that, but there was zero chemistry between the stars and seem to intentionally deliver no personality or charisma. I didn't exactly expect character development but I did expect to care about something in the film.

Iron Man 2 (2010)

Superb In Every Way!

[4 June 2010]

WOW! The director has crafted a super sequel that both dazzles the eyes and touches the heart. Much like Spider-Man 2, the truly remarkable special-effects of the new movie make it virtually impossible not to suspend one's disbelief. The effects actually beat Spider-Man 2. A lesser filmmaker would have been content to let the effects be the whole show, but Favreau gives us a movie populated by genuine characters and situations that make the film just as compelling in its quieter moments as it is during the big action scenes. IM2 combines the thrills of a big summer romp with the craftsmanship of a prestige studio picture. It's not simple popcorn fun although it certainly works in that capacity but it's as complex as its conflicted protagonist. It's a slickly engineered special-effects extravaganza with a saucy sense of humor that's well-acted and masterful at every turn. That's the kind of movie that I love to see… one that isn't just dark to be dark or isn't just self-indulgent or overly serious for the sake of having some sort of false sense of gravitas. These Iron Man films are sweeping and even epic but, at the same time, they're tremendous popcorn entertainment. How many films can you say that about? Truly Superb.

Cop Out (2010)

mildly amusing but not very good

[17 March 2010]

I guess you could call a few scenes mildly amusing but this movie never delivered any laugh out loud moments. It certainly never rings true as an action film. I don't know if they were mocking or paying homage to movies like Lethal Weapon and that's precisely the problem. Bruce Willis was solid but Tracy Morgan was severely out of place. While I find Morgan funny, his act wears thin fast. Also, Kevin Smith experimenting with the hand-held shaky camera craze has to be considered a colossal failure. Maybe it wasn't even intentional but I had to look away from the screen on some simple shots because of the motion. What was he thinking? Doesn't anyone screen the final cut and let him know what was wrong?

Crazy Heart (2009)

wonderful performances but average film

[22 February 2010]

All the Oscar hype for Jeff Bridges is indeed warranted. In fact, the main reason to see the film has to be to observe his wonderful performance. The film itself is typical of most independent fare. It's slow, meticulous and plodding but still manages to deliver enough to keep a viewer barely interested. At times, I liked this film better than The Wrestler (to which it is often compared) but at times it wasn't as gripping or intense as that film. Overall, it's a pleasant experience. Bridge's performance reaches greatness even if the story itself does not. It's well worth the watch for the acting but it's certainly not a film to own or watch more than once.

Transformers (2007)

Unsatisfying & Forgettable Summer Misfire

[7 July 2007]

I really am sad to say that Transformers was a misfire. I was looking forward to this film and was disappointed by this unsatisfying and incredibly shallow movie. It's the movie equivalent of cotton candy. It's large, bright and appears full until you go to take a bite and it disappears. It's all fluff delivering a soulless, babbling film. Most of the cool special effects are negated by presenting them with the jarring, shaky camera style. Since everything on screen doesn't read true, I guess Bay decided to jolt the viewer and to try and fool the eye by shaking everything up on many of the action sequences. My eye isn't so easily fooled and the jumbled mess of action gets washed away in the nauseating confusion. You expected plot stupidity and flaws in logic everywhere but you also expected those ridiculous flaws to be overcome by fun action and explosions. Sadly, that's not the case with Transformers. There's not one satisfying robot brawl that was not ruined by the shaky zoom of the camera. The Megatron Vs Optimus fight was a useless garble that looked like an erector set accident. The acting was beyond horrible (Megan Fox may be a cute little girl but she sure can't act) and the plot was awful. Transformers doesn't have much going for it, unfortunately.

When stupidity overcomes the fun, you're pulled out of a movie. Any intelligent person will ask themselves, why doesn't that Decepticon just kill the army rangers instead of following them for no reason? How does Megatron not get Sam in the old building when he's only a few feet behind him on the ground floor? (Did he really climb forty stories that fast?) Where did Optimus go when the brawl started? Why did the Transformers need to hide from Sam's parents? How do you call down an air-strike in a populated area using Morse code and old walkie talkies when everything in aviation is computer controlled(guidance, flight, propulsion)? There's far too many dumb moments to list. ALL of this stupidity hurts but it could've been forgiven had the action sequences been fulfilling. They're simply not satisfying enough to overcome the dumb plot, bad acting and to elevate this erector set GM commercial above an easily forgettable summer misfire.

Knocked Up (2007)

It Didn't Know What It Wanted To Be. Just BAD.

[30 May 2007]

Unless you have kids and have gone through the process of childbirth, this movie is NOT for you. What's worse, it simply didn't know what it wanted to be. A chick flick? A crude guy comedy? Instead, they tried to make both and failed quite miserably. Did Will Ferrell turn down the lead role? Some funny moments are lost by simple gross out humor. Don't go for gross out when your target audience is clearly between the ages of 33 and 45. Anyone younger will find this movie revolting. Anyone older will find it mostly offensive and genuinely unfunny.

I agree with the critic who ripped this thing by stating the writers of this movie think relationships fall "between junior high and joint mortgage payments. It's a view wherein men are idiots that must be refined (if not actually tamed) by women." I'm SO tired of that portrayal and of the tired clichés this movie promotes as if no one has ever thought of them before or as if we're suppose to think they're actually funny. It's not, at least not the way they presented it.

War of the Worlds (2005)

Stupidity At Its Worst

[1 July 2005]

It was really disappointing. It's overtly dramatic and tries to play on sympathies that they just don't set up. I find it very hard to believe that any intelligent critic truly liked this film. Character driven? That is the most overused term, thrown around by those who don't know any better. If a character strings together more then four coherent lines people love to label the movie as "Character driven." The fact is, the characters aren't developed during this film. Sure, they are scared but the movie is presented in such a over-the-top fashion that you just want to cringe.

The film's storytelling stumbles frequently. I'd rather have bamboo shoots jammed under my fingernails then be forced to have to watch that movie again.

Sin City (2005)

garbage wrapped up as eye candy

[3 April 2005]

I walked out at the one hour and forty-minute mark, so I can't speak for the whole movie, but what I saw was just garbage wrapped up as eye candy. I felt dirty for having stayed as long as I did; dirty and used. Then it hit me, like a hard-boiled bullet right in the middle of my clubfoot chin: I'd been taken; and not just the six lousy bucks for the matinée; $3.25 for a medium coke with too much syrup and not enough carbonation. On the way out of the lobby I punched the usher and shot the Manager, right between his fat sweaty eyebrows. He never even saw it comin'. The rain was coming down in sheets across the half-empty parking lot. Out in my sweet Fairlane convertible, I lit a filterless Lucky Strike and remembered that I don't smoke because you look like an idiot and it's bad for you. I wanted to kill someone else, and I remember how Quentin Tarentino was listed as a "guest" director...