jparker9899 Reviews

The VVitch: A New-England Folktale (2015)

Magically Brilliant

[8/10 · 20 February 2016]

Once a year, a horror movie is released that doesn't follow the original "hot girl, jump scare" plot, and delves into a mind twisting story that slowly builds up until you're completely lost in awe. 2016's example of this is The Witch. What starts as a simple plot, a family getting excommunicated from the village in 1630's New England, turns into a tale of deception and family bonds being broken. One of my favorite things about the Witch was the dialogue; the entire movie uses Shakespearian-like dialogue that really draws viewers in. The acting itself is superb; there isn't a second that passes by where the actors aren't 110% in character. The film itself makes it evident that witchcraft will play a vital role in the plot, and while it does, the plot takes a turn and really builds itself upon the deteriorating family relationships. The setting of the film itself was beautifully haunting; shots of the forest surrounding the family's farm will fascinate you with a childlike sense of terror. The film's pace was also smartly planned; a well paced build up leads to one of the most intense endings in cinematic history. Overall, this is one of the best works of film I've seen in years, and not only is it an example of what horror movies should be, it's an example of what the art of cinema is.

The Age of Adaline (2015)

Slow Burn Romance

[5/10 · 14 April 2015]

I was privileged with seeing a free pre-screening of this film, so I went in with low expectations. Now maybe it's just because I don't regularly watch romantic films, but this film didn't draw me into the storyline very well. The plot was unoriginal(but interesting!), but the film was much longer than it should have been. The film could have easily been cut around 30-40 minutes and still have filled all the plot holes, but instead half an hour of slow, unneeded dialogue was added. While the film starts off interesting, it really slows down after around the first half hour. The science that the film went by was also extremely unrealistic(however most films are these days). However, I'm not trying bash the film as a whole. The acting was wonderful; Blake Lively was superb as Adaline(very well into character). The film also had beautiful scenery, and it had a few funny one-line jokes(even though it wasn't a comedy). It wasn't a terrible film, just overly slow and sort of dragged on. I'd recommend waiting for Redbox for this film though, or at least until the theater tickets are on sale. However, if you're a large fan of romance films, I do believe this will beat a Nicholas Sparks movie any day!

The Lazarus Effect (2015)

Very Solid, Very Original

[7/10 · 27 February 2015]

Most Blumhosue produced films are utter trash(Jessabelle, The Purge, etc.) and I'm a big horror fan so this movie caught my eye. And I wasn't disappointed at all. Going in with an open mind, what I really liked about the film was that it didn't move into demonic territory to provide cheap scares. Sure, some pop up scares were cliché, but they didn't have to use demons to make the film creepy. Olivia Wilde is fantastic in her role, as is Evan Peters. The film also has a solid story, and borrows elements from Pet Semetary, The Shining, and Lucy(yes it makes sense). Without losing the plot in itself like recents like Project Almanac, it sticks to a meaningful script, and provides fun, campy scares. It wasn't golden, nor is it a new classic, but it's a brisk fun way to lose yourself in the macabre. It's also one of the better recent horror films. Defiantly recommend this, and I hope my review has helped!

Into the Storm (2014)

Special Effects Won Me Over

[6/10 · 9 August 2014]

So me and my best friend have a monthly tradition of viewing B movies so we watched this and I have to say it wasn't as bad as I thought. I had low expectations, but this passed those highly. The special effects were some of the greatest I've seen, especially something for a movie that isn't sic fy. I mean fire tornadoes that look legit? Check out this film. I have to say, the acting wasn't too good but it wasn't the worst ever. The first half of the movie is kind of boring though, but it picks up very nicely once the tornadoes really hit. I recommend seeing this on a rainy day or a back up if something is sold out. And when it's on DVD definitely check it out!

Deliver Us from Evil (I) (2014)

Stylized Horror

[7/10 · 11 July 2014]

Now let me begin with after seeing Sinister, I had high hopes for this film. And I'm happy to say I wasn't the least bit disappointed. This movie wasn't your normal horror movie either; it was a mix of a buddy cop action movie and horror and it blended great. Starting off like the Exorcist in another country and bringing back an ancient evil, a cop that teams up with a priest tries to stop demonic forces in the city of New York. It sounds like it wouldn't work as a film, and many reviews say that it didn't, but in my opinion it did. They had gore that was very stylish, and the idea of the movie in general is new and refreshing; you'll be on the edge of your seat during this entire film. It wasn't spectacular, no, but it was something worth watching whether you're an action fan or a horror fan. I strongly recommend seeing this movie; it's one of the best in theaters right now. Gore, pop up scares, demonic forces, and cop action is what you're in for while watching Deliver Us From Evil, and it's a fast paced ride.

Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013)

It Will Take What You Love Most

[10/10 · 15 September 2013]

Insidious 1 was an amazing movie. It set a high bar for Insidious Chapter 2. The sequel is one of those rare movies better than its proceeder. This movie picks off right from where the first one ended. Instead of focusing solely on the Lamberts though, it brings in a mythological tale about "The Bride In Black." It also ventures into The Further, so those who thought The Further ruined the first Insidious, won't like the sequel. But it shows anything can happen in the Further. Though this one isn't as scary as the first one, the plot was a lot better with many plot twist that made this film to never get boring. But there still are the old jump scares from the first one. Their is also nice camera work, as Wan proves himself good with the camera. All in all, this movie was spectacular. Watch it like right now!

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (2013)

Best Thing About This Is The Special Effects

[11 August 2013]

This movie was a major disappointment in my opinion. I've read the books and I loved them so I thought the movie would be pretty good too! I was wrong. Problem one is that it was a little too slow. They could have easily shortened 10 to 15 minutes of this movie but yet unnecessary parts were added. Problem two is that the acting was just not good. They could have done a much better job and at least tried to act in character. The biggest problem is that this movie was just stupid. It took them up until the last 20 minutes to reach their destination and to get to the whole point. Up until then there were just time wasters. The only good thing about this film is the special effects. I saw this in 3-D and i give it applause for its amazing graphics and special effects. Other than that though, this movie isn't worth seeing, it has countless flaws and problems. Don't waste your money on it.

R.I.P.D. (2013)

Good, not great

[6/10 · 26 July 2013]

Basically this is 2013's version of Men In Black, but with what are called "Dead-Os" instead of aliens. So the movie starts off with our cop hero that is betrayed by his partner and is shot by him. He then goes into the Rest In Peace Department. He is then teamed up with an R.I.P.D "veteran" and they fight the monsters and all that stuff. Then, they track down these artifacts which they later figure out could destroy the living world. So, they figure out that our cop's partner is really a bad "Dead-O" and they fight each other as our cop's new partner saves the day! It's not that bad and it is worth seeing but it does get predictable at points. Great special effects and graphics though!

The Call (II) (2013)

Edge Of The Seat, Spectacular Film

[8/10 · 22 July 2013]

I love this movie. From the start to end I was on the edge of my seat. An ex-phone operator trying to save an abducted girl, just like any other crime video right?

Wrong! This phone operator had a history with the kidnapper, putting more pressure on her. This movie was brilliantly scripted and the acting was great. Now when they left the man to die in the end instead of putting him in jail wasn't a good choice in my opinion but aside from that it was great!

I suggest that you rent this movie because it is a film worth watching, something rare nowadays.

White House Down (2013)

Ignore the critics, amazing movie

[9/10 · 22 July 2013]

If action summer movies are your thing, here's a movie you need to watch! Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx were the perfect combo for this movie. With all the action going on, the banter between them makes the movie a lot more enjoyable. The special effects in this were amazing, and so were the graphics. Most critics have called this a "summer fail" but I can promise you they are wrong. The plot might seem predictable at points, but sudden twists shake things up nicely. This movie was a perfect combo of an action and laughs. The actors also did amazing(not just Tatum and Foxx). So like if you're reading this stop reading and go buy a ticket for this amazing movie.

Alien (1979)

You Can't Top Alien

[10/10 · 22 July 2013]

This is my favorite movie of all time. From the start, where Ridley and her crew wake up to the end where she blows up the ship it's pure brilliancy. This movie proves you don't need special effects to have a good horror/ SCI FY film. The chest-burster scene is just an unforgettable moment too. Who would think of an alien latching onto someone's face, then plant a seed in them? Then to make that alien die off and have the larva burst out of a man's chest. It's one of the best scenes in horror history. And it has a great build up, as the alien picks the humans off things get really tense. So if you're reading this review stop and go watch this movie. NOW! I promise you won't be disappointed.

World War Z (2013)

Below Average Zombie Film

[5/10 · 21 July 2013]

I don't understand why so many people like this film. Brad Pitt did an outstanding job but it was just like any other zombie movie but just not as good. Yeah the special effects are amazing. The graphics were good too. Aside from that though it's not that good. Plus, it isn't scary, yet it's considered a horror film. Maybe one or two jump scenes but it doesn't even have a scary build up or atmosphere. The plot was the same, if not worse, than any other zombie film. It's not your 2013 version of Night Of The Living Dead haha. But it is a good time killer, so if you're bored go see it! Just don't be disappointed when it's over and it doesn't live up to your expectations.