lord-blade Reviews

Infested (2023)

A movie with accurate cops and unrealistic spiders.

[6/10 · 29 April 2024]

Infested is a decent enough infestation movie. The usual routine of someone buying something they shouldn't, it getting loose, somehow multiplying endlessly, and every generation growing to ridiculous size for... reasons.

Not exactly anything new or groundbreaking. But overall still an enjoyable watch.

The characters are believable. They feel real, like people, with their own pasts and problems, dealing with an impossible situation. They have their ups and downs, and overall act mostly as you'd expect someone in a blind panic to act. Not always making the best choices, but also not constantly doing the stupidest things possible. Sure, there's a number of "let's do X because the plot needs to advance" that we see in most monster movies. But overall it's nowhere as obnoxious as we usually see.

The main characters draw you in, while all the extras an side characters play their roles, as minor as they are.

The CGI is quite good. The spiders are believable (ignoring the fact that an inch long spider somehow ends up spawning offspring the size of a stove, lol). But overall, the special effects work wonderfully, and the lighting and camera work help make the movie properly creepy when needed and give the action sequences the right amount of kick. And best of all, despite the movie being in a badly lit building, they do a great job of still having enough light so that everything is clearly visible. You're not left looking at black on black on dark on shadow like so many of these movies end up doing.

Then there's the cops, who are quite believable if you've ever lived in such a community. They don't care. They will happily accuse people without cause and beat innocent civilians because they can. Like typical cops in a low income area tend to do. And it does a great job of giving you the message of who's the real monsters.

Overall, this is a great way to spend a dark evening.

Eye of the Beast (2007 TV Movie)

A surprisingly good little monster movie.

[7/10 · 1 June 2023]

Not quite horror, just your general great big bad that eats people movie. But honestly, a very good one.

Overall the creature effects are pretty low budget, but done quite well. It didn't have the typical "drawn in after" look that most low budget movies do when they use CG. And they clearly made use of physical props as well, which worked wonderfully.

The heart of the movie is less about fighting a giant monster and more about the struggles of small fishing communities and the ever dwindling fish populations that drive so many out of business. The drama presented was believable and realistic. And amazingly well acted. The actors all played their roles perfectly. Every character was believable and authentic. Not the typical B-movie hamming it up that you usually see.

Definitely worth a watch.

65 (2023)

Mediocre and by the numbers.

[6/10 · 26 May 2023]

A movie with a great actor and a great premise, that was done dirty by stupid writing and cliche movie elements.

Adam Driver is a great actor, and did well in this movie. And his young co-star was pretty good too. The issue is that this movie didn't really put much effort into anything. You have a boring, done to death setup (did you know he has a daughter, because they'll remind you a hundred times), with a lot of just by the numbers movie elements.

You have monsters (because whatever those were, they weren't dinosaurs) that act like cliche movie monsters. Using jump scares, magically being completely silent at times, doing all they can to terrify their victims instead of, you know, attacking like any animal would. Felt incredibly fake and artificial. No animal acts that way.

You also have the main characters switching between being very intelligent and brainless idiots making horror movie dumb choices. These people are from a super advanced civilization, but at times you wonder if their culture got past inventing the wheel. The girl especially seems to make some insanely stupid moves simply to get the movie to movie. Which is always frustrating.

And the magic tech they he has with him, which seems to have whatever function happens to be needed at any situation, and be very selective in when it will work and when it won't, was very frustrating. The movie seemed to forget it's own rules as it went.

Overall, if you want just a mindless action flick, it can serve. Nice special effects. Okay action. But overall, a very forgettable movie. It's amazing that Sam Raimi was behind this, as it's far beneath him.

Black Crab (2022)

Something old done as something new.

[7/10 · 16 May 2023]

The overall story of Black Crab isn't anything groundbreaking. While you're kept in the dark for a large part, as more and more of the story is given to you, it all comes together as... well, something we've seen before. The typical war movie elements of who is really the bad guy and all that. Common tropes.

However the way it was presented was quite unique. A main part of the movie that leads up to the climax is the whole skating part. Which honestly, is one of the more original concepts I've seen in a long time.

We've all seen the "sneak behind enemy lines" movies before. They're a dime a dozen. Usually stealth through forests and jungles and ruins and blending into local populaces... but skating across a frozen ocean? That's a new one. And honestly it was that concept for the description of the movie that caught my attention and had me add it to my list of movies to watch. It's great to see people doing something new for a change, instead of just redoing the exact same thing with just a new cast of characters.

Overall, the story is well done, the characters are believable, and the tension is high. It's a wonderful watch. At least once anyway. As with most movies of this type, once you know what's going to happen, it kind of kills the drive to watch it again. But it is most definitely worth that initial watch.

Venus (I) (2022)

A very unique movie, where the real star is the lighting.

[8/10 · 11 May 2023]

Honestly, thousands upon thousands of horror movies shot in the dark for a creepy atmosphere where it's dark on black on what the hell am I even looking at? Venus throws that idiotic nonsense in the trash. There are many scenes taking place in the dark, for the usual horror feel... but this movie uses lighting to make sure that even in the darkest scenes you can always see exactly what is going on. Save for some few moments that are set up for some awesome silhouettes, all the scenes in the dark still have just the right amount of lighting to highlight the scene. To make sure what's important is clearly shown. There's no looking at a black screen and wondering if that dark shadow is a monster or a reflection on your monitor. Excellently done. A shame more movies won't learn from this masterpiece of lighting.

Now, on to the movie itself.

It's pretty damn good. It's a rather unique twist on a theme that's been done time and again, poorly. Venus however pulls it off with flair. The storyline is well done, and wonderfully paced. The characters are wonderfully written. The twists and turns in the story are well paced. And the horror, while subdued, is fitting and never quite lets you know what to expect.

Definitely a must watch. One can only hope that Hollywood can take a lesson from this work of art.

Carnifex (2022)

Fun little monster movie.

[7/10 · 19 April 2023]

A nice Australian film providing a ton of beautiful scenery and nature tidbits, along with a quite well done monster and some good jumps and tension.

Thankfully not the typical endless series of jump scares. The movie does a good job of ratcheting up the tension and getting you ready for something to leap out, without being too predictable. It does take a while for the action to get going, but it makes up for it by giving you some interesting character moments, and a lot of natural goodness to enjoy before the creepy begins.

The special effects aren't breathtaking, but at the same time, for a limited budget film like this, they're well done, and don't detract from the movie.

A fun watch.

Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023)

Really enjoyed this one.

[8/10 · 19 April 2023]

Shazam is doing a good job of giving you that Saturday morning cartoon feel. The movies aren't super serious, but at the same time they're not just nonsensical slapstick. There's a lot of comedy, but it doesn't detract from the story and action.

The cast do a good job, the main characters definitely having a great presence. Some of the rest of the family are... eh... but they're also not doing a whole lot of talking overall.

Special effects are top notch as always. And the action is well done. They give you that super hero battle feel.

Honestly I'm enjoying these movies more than the "super serious" DC movies that just feel like they're trying too hard. Justice League and the Batman movies are just... cheesy. They go for dark and gritty, but just end up feeling a little silly overall. It's "too" dark and gritty, to the point where you're spitting out grit and being distracted from the story and action. Shazam doesn't have that failing.

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)

A solid entry into the Marvel line.

[7/10 · 19 April 2023]

As with the other Ant-Man entries, this one doesn't take itself too seriously. Overall a good plot and tons of action, with a mix of comedy and slapstick sprinkled in that makes it fun, rather than detracting as it often can in such films.

The story is decent. For a super hero movie of course. And yes, there's countless changes from the comics, but that's standard. Overall they did a good job of presenting characters and situations.

The acting is wonderful. Great one liners, nice timing, nobody felt out of place.

Special effects were of course insanely good, with the infinite budget these movies have.

The action was very well done. Not too many cuts, so it's easy to follow and things flow well.

Overall another good entry into the franchise.

Warriors of Future (2022)

Top notch action flick with predictably crappy writing.

[8/10 · 5 December 2022]

The story is nothing new. Humanity has screwed up the planet, alien thing has landed, robots, guns, explosions. Huzzah!

The writing overall is pretty weak. There's some great scenes between the characters, and a lot of the banter is fun. But the movie is pretty predictable. You know who the bad guy is, who's going to live or die, and what all the major plot beats will be right from the start. The movie doesn't do anything new.

That said, what is does, it does in style. The special effects are insanely good. This is the sort of thing that easily gives big Hollywood movies a run for their money. And the action is amazing. The choreography is truly next level, with great editing. And the fights play out well (not the typical Hollywood barrage of a thousand jump cuts).

Grab some popcorn and enjoy a good mindless action filled romp.

Deus (2022)

Mediocre sci-fi fluff.

[6/10 · 22 November 2022]

As a big fan of sci-fi movies, I thought this movie had promise, though it sadly fell short of delivering on it.

The cast did a decent job. But the whole movie was rather subdued. Very much a slow burn from start to finish. There wasn't a lot of opportunity for anyone to really shine as there wasn't a lot actually going on.

The movie's main plot started off well, then kind of dragged on for a while... then you get a big reveal that is beyond insane and then you get... and ending. All of it very slow and drawn out.

The biggest issue for me is the implementation of technology. The tech they use and have access to honestly would make the rest of the problems the movie talks about very easy to resolve. If they have that level of tech, the issues they're facing shouldn't be issues. Which always bugs me in such movies. If you're going to go sci-fi, you have to make sure that the tech you're creating isn't going to invalidate the crisis you're trying to present.

Also, there was a random event going on in the middle that seemed to have absolutely no relevance to anything else... and was quickly forgotten about. It felt like it was leading in a different direction, then they just abandoned it. Felt very jarring.

Overall... decent enough movie for a single viewing. Special effects are nice. But the writing is pretty bland and the plot is poorly thought out.

The Lair (2022)

Very mediocre mindless action movie.

[5/10 · 28 October 2022]

Basic premise is something we've seen countless times. Secret military base with monsters. Bunch of soldiers fighting for their lives. Same old, same old.

Nothing really new here. Pretty much by the numbers.

The special effects are just as average as everything else. Nothing too special. Not terrible, just your usual rubber suits and squibs.

The acting is... alright. The characters are all very one note. Everyone has their role, the muscle, the ass, the doc, the heart, etc... again, all as expected. The acting is serviceable.

The writing... meh. Tons of stupid decisions being made. Lots of nonsensical stuff and contradictions. The monsters are both nigh invulnerable and able to be knocked out by a punch. They can take countless rounds from high powered rifles, but a hammer to the head takes them out.

There's also a lot of magically teleporting moments. Like when a monster is there to grab someone when they weren't there a second ago. Or how there's a ton of them everywhere, then suddenly the place is empty, then it's full again when they need more action. Just very badly directed.

If you turn your brain off, it makes an adequate action flick to waste time with. But not really worth bothering with if you're looking for something beyond made for TV trash.

Deadstream (2022)

A live steam version of Evil Dead.

[7/10 · 28 October 2022]

Honestly, I was expecting more of the boring Blair Witch nothing. Another found footage movie with some noises and the odd jump scare, and not much else.

But this movie was a pleasant surprise. It basically follows a live stream jackass who is staying in a haunted house. The movie is serious and silly at the same time. The whole thing is done straight up, but as the main character is a cowardly ass, his reactions end up being comical half the time. It very much gives off Evil Dead vibes. An attempt at horror while knowing your limitations.

The special effects are kind of meh. But for a low budget film, they did surprising well. Obvious masks and prosthetics and such. But it worked decently.

The acting is all over the place, which makes sense. He's basically a random streamer who's self centered and cowardly and wants to be the center of attention. We've all seen countless like him.

The horror aspects actually work decently. There are a lot of great creepy moments where you're waiting for the jump. A couple of times there is one, other times there isn't, which leaves you all the more jumpy. And again, working with what they had, they did a decent job of it.

Overall, well worth a watch. Much better than most of these types of films.

Bullet Train (2022)

Pure chaotic perfection.

[10/10 · 1 October 2022]

This movie was a blast from start to finish. It delivers the sort of random craziness that you expect from Guy Ritchie films (I think Ritchie would be envious of this movie). A varied cast of characters all with their own stories in one massively twisted and interconnected plot. With tons of action, laughs, and downright WTF moments.

The cast is excellent. Top notch on every level. They deliver an outstanding performance. Everyone involved hits it out of the park. Each character gets their own intro, has their own backstory, and their own reasons for being where they are. And the way they all interact is beautiful.

The action scenes are incredible. Choreography is out just amazing. Using a small location to deliver some intense action, fast movements, and comedy gold.

The special effects are great. So many things done with CG that look flawless.

The story is just beyond out there, and so wonderfully put together. You get to enjoy some truly outrageous moments, with a surprisingly good tie in for everything. Everything has it's purpose from start to finish.

Definitely a must watch for those who enjoy heist movies, great action comedy, and the utter chaos and joy this movie delivers. One of my few 10/10 reviews, and definitely worthy of being on that list.

Monstrum (2018)

A perfect blend of genres.

[10/10 · 24 September 2022]

Monstrum is an excellent movie.

It's a wonderful mix of Korean period piece, drama, action and monster movie.

They took a lot of different styles and blended them wonderfully. The writing and story is very interesting and well done. The characters are wonderful, with great acting and enjoyable nuance (not the typical mix of hero and comic relief and such that a lot of such movies have).

The action is fast paced and exciting. There's some great fight scenes as well as other great moments. Not the typical "ridiculous wire action" many Asian movies rely on. Naturally, there is plenty there, but it's not the over the top nonsense often present that takes you completely out of reality.

The monster itself is well done. Good special effects, nice story to it's creation and abilities, and it's given a sense of realism and acts like an actual animal and not just some mystical super beast without logic.

Monstrum's definitely worth adding to your collection.

Slash/Back (2022)

A decent slice of life meets aliens movie.

[7/10 · 21 September 2022]

Slash/Back is quite unique. Not only in being a movie that gives people a good view of life in remote Native towns, but also as an interesting mix of aliens and teen drama.

Honestly, it's mostly about the girls, dealing with being in a small town in the middle of nowhere. It came off as very believable and relatable. Not the typical pampered teens with perfect sitcom situations that most such movies have. This felt very authentic, and anyone who remembers their youth should remember what these girls are going through.

The actresses do a decent job. They're not great, but they have their moments. They're honestly what you'd expect from young teens who haven't been raised in Hollywood. It's more like a well done high school production much of the time.

The special effects are decent for a low budget movie. Much better than the typical made for TV sci-fi movies do. And it's all shot during the day, so none of that blurry thing in the darkness nonsense most movies rely on to avoid having to actually show anything and generate jump scares.

The story is, as mentioned, mostly about the girls dealing with life in a small town, but with some aliens thrown in. Sort of an homage to the Thing in a way. They aliens aren't anything all that new, but the mix is interesting.

Overall an enjoyable watch.

Jeruzalem (2015)

A decent idea held back by some poor choices.

[6/10 · 30 July 2022]

Overall Jeruzalem had a lot of a promise. It was a rather unique idea, and they had a different way of presenting it, which was nice to see.

The movie is presented as a found footage taken through the main character's Google Glass (smart glasses). And for the most part this worked out well. It gave a lot more believability to the first person view in these found footage movies than you would have had if this was a camcorder or someone's phone. The only issue is that in a lot of places, you could tell it wasn't being filmed by a person's point of view as the film was off canter. So you'd have her running down a street, but instead of looking where she was going, the camera was often off to the side some or sagging like you'd have if someone was carrying a camera. So they could have done a bit better there. But overall, it worked, and was different.

The plot is rather basic, though a different twist than most. The usual "end of the world" scenario. Undead, demons, shedim, they don't really explain much, other than the usual chaotic jumble of religious doomsday prophecies. But you're essentially following two girls on their trip to Israel, as they hook up with cute guys, and then all hell breaks loose.

There are a few failings in the script. There's the typical horror movie idiocy, like someone making noise like an idiot when they know they should be quiet, the usual "I know they're infected but I can't leave them" nonsense (sorry, if someone's infected, put a bullet in them right away), as well as the "I've just this guy but I will risk my life for him as if I've known him for years" stupidity. Sorry, but nobody is going to risk their lives for someone they've known for a day or two. Though honestly, the worst part is Sarah, the friend, who is a spoiled brat, selfish, annoying, demanding, etc... the typical abusive ass that all of these movies have for reasons.

As for special effects... they're alright for a budget movie. Could be much better, but I've also seen much worse. There's not a lot of monster scenes, and much of what happens is of course in the dark.

All in all not a bad little found footage flick. Not a great movie by any means, but a lot better than I expected. A few good scares, some great characters (except Sarah), and some interesting moments as the story develops. Definitely worth watching once.

Hypothermia (2010)

A low budget, short film, but decently done.

[6/10 · 30 July 2022]

Overall, not too bad. Clearly low budget, but they did alright with what they had. The acting wasn't bad, though there were a couple of dumb choices, but overall, nowhere as bad as most horror movies.

Honestly the main failings were the creature itself and the ending.

The creature was a very low budget costume. We're talking wetsuit and a monster mask type of low budget. They would have been better served showing less of it.

As for the ending, it just kind of... stopped. No real conclusion or anything, and how it stopped seemed... very sudden.

Beyond that, it was decently enjoyable. I got a lot more enjoyment out of this than many of these cheap horror flicks.

Valley of the Dead (2020)

A great zombie movie.

[9/10 · 19 July 2022]

A Spanish film that did everything right. Great cast, who have stand out personalities but don't ham it up. Well done plot, that actually makes sense (as far as zombies can). And some wonderful writing (mostly serious with little bits of sensible humor that don't take away from moment).

Really happy to see a movie that didn't take itself too seriously, but still managed to keep a realistic film. While there were jokes and insults and banter, it was the sort you'd expect from people in a dark situation trying to find some sort of escapism. The story made sense, was plausible (within reason) and the characters weren't the typical horror movie morons doing idiotic stuff just to get killed off. They made decisions that normal people would in the same situation. Which is always refreshing.

The special effects were decent. Nothing super fancy, and mostly practical effects, which is great. No bad CG to take away from what you're watching.

Definitely a must see zombie movie.

Resident Evil (2022)

Same mistakes as the live action Halo, only worse.

[1/10 · 19 July 2022]

Netflix had a guaranteed win of a series. Take the setting that countless love and come up with some random side stories going on. Doesn't even have to focus on the main characters from the games, they could be cameos, and people would love it. Instead... they basically took some names and pictures from the games and had people who have no clue what the hell RE is about write some cliche nonsense to waste time. Just a complete failure on every level. Even if this was just some nameless zombie series, it would have been terrible. But for them to try and claim this is Resident Evil is just insulting to the IP and to the fans.

One of the biggest issues is also the format of the show. It constantly jumps between "the present" and the future were the world is a devastated zombie filled wasteland. Which means nothing happening in "the present" actually matters. And because they keep jumping away from the future, you're not all that concerned about what's going on with characters there, plus the main character keeps surviving literally impossible situations, so you really stop having any concern of something happening to her. Sorry, but when a character can make a 10 stop drop and not have a scratch, they've been effectively shown to be invincible and there's absolutely no concern for their safety after that.

While is uses the names and places and such, it's completely detached from the lore and setting. They could have done something interesting and unique. Had a side story in the RE universe that would have been interesting. But they basically spit in the face of all the canon and lore and just rewrote everything, but as if a child was doing it. The plot was idiotic for the most part, and downright nonsensical in many places.

There was countless things going on that made absolutely no sense. They tried to push the idea that Umbrella would put out products that didn't work at all as they should and had horrific side effects (from being a brainless moron to full on zombies) and would expect to somehow "change the world" and make it a better place. Um... no. When you KNOW your product is useless and just kills people, you don't keep pushing it claiming you're making everyone's lives better.

As the show went on, jumping from angst filled teen drama in the past and boring series of impossible events in the future... it just gets worse and worse. After a while they just stop giving a damn about any logic or reason and start having things happen just because. People making idiotic decisions that make no sense (even for brainless horror movie characters) to random impossible events that ooze Deus Ex Machina as things magically happen that have no basis in reality or possibility.

Netflix has completely wasted what was a golden ticket. They had an IP that they could have turned into a truly epic series with ease, and instead went with the stupidest, laziest writing possible, by people who clearly have never played (or even just watched a Let's Play) Resident Evil. Avoid this at all costs.

Mad God (2021)

Mindless artsy nonsense.

[2/10 · 29 June 2022]

Some neat stop motion work, some bizarre visuals, and mostly a whole lot of nothing. No story or plot. Just, random stuff happening that makes no sense and is done for the sake of doing it. Kind of interesting to look at, but absolutely no substance.

Ditched (2021)

Terrible nonsensical mess.

[2/10 · 6 February 2022]

The movie starts off with an interesting premise, and the first half hour or so is interesting and feels like it's building up to something unique... and then it just got incredibly stupid and was one idiotic moment after the next, none of which is even remotely believable or even plausible.

The core idea makes sense, but how they implemented it made absolutely no sense at all. It was just a bunch of random idiocy. Which is a shame.

I would definitely avoid this movie. It's a complete and total waste of time.

The Deep House (2021)

Points for originality, but so many bad choices...

[5/10 · 2 February 2022]

The idea of a haunted house underwater... quite original. Unfortunately, most of the rest of the movie was just... not well thought out.

The main characters are poorly done. The male lead is just an unlikeable ass, and the female lead is an idiot. They make insanely stupid choices time and time again, things that nobody would ever do. Even for a horror movie, it's just too much.

Add to that the "evil" is just more of the typical poorly written nonsense. No real defined powers. Goes from the usual "moving things" to "I can warp reality" back to "let's flicker the lights". They really need to learn to establish exactly what abilities hauntings have. Because in most of these movies, some of the powers shown means the "ghosts" should just instantly win as soon as anyone steps foot in the house.

The writers also clearly have never actually gone diving before, or used most of the technology shown in the movie. Things don't work the way they wrote them working.

All in all, the movie is okay for a one time mindless watch. A few okay jump scares, a unique concept... but overall... just kind of meh. Really falls apart at the end too. Disappointing. Not the worst movie out there, but there's far better horror picks.

The Devil's Tomb (2009)

Terrible movie with no sense or reason.

[2/10 · 10 November 2021]

Very simple plot... very badly done.

You have a group of misfit soldiers, that don't act anything like soldiers and immediately ruin any realism the movie might have had to start with.

You have a big bad that wants to do a thing, but doesn't do anything that would actually let it do the thing and instead does the typical horror movie "haunting" type random nonsense that exists solely for the purpose of being a movie.

You have characters doing idiotic things that nobody would ever do in such situations... even in a horror movie. It's honestly idiotic at times.

You have some terrible, terrible writing. Horrible pacing. Lots of loud noise for the sake of loud noises. And some truly terrible special effects.

Lots of great names setting fire to their careers with this utter trash. It's truly shameful. Just avoid this at all costs.

It Came from Below (2021)

Low budget, low quality, low effort.

[3/10 · 2 November 2021]

Overall It Came From Below is a very disappointing movie. Even for a low budget film... it's pretty bad. The acting is unimpressive... the plot is nonsensical... the characters are idiotic... and the creature and its abilities are unexplained and erratic.

You have characters making truly idiotic choices, which even for a horror movie make absolutely no sense. You have a creature that has mind control abilities... sometimes... when it's convenient... and not others... which feeds on people... sometimes... and other times ignores them completely... None of it makes any real sense.

Most of the movie takes place in a dark cave, with little light, and little idea what's actually happening. The insane amount of shaky cam doesn't help at all.

The creature looks decent. Honestly it could have been a decent movie if not so horrifically written, as it had an okay concept. But it's just a horrible mess that's not worth watching.

Snake Eyes (2021)

Very badly handling of the subject matter.

[3/10 · 19 August 2021]

Snake Eyes is a movie that simply fails to make use of what it's given.

The movie is too violent to really be a kid's movie, yet the plot it poorly written, shallow and predictable, and full of holes, so it doesn't work as a movie for adults either. It's like they couldn't decide if they wanted to make a movie for the kids who like the newer GI Joe shows, or the adults who grew up with the originals, and simply failed to live up to either.

The story is just bad. Honestly the original cartoon had more elaborate and well thought out plotlines. This was just cliche as hell and so by the numbers it's painful. The writing is terrible. No real banter, no real emotion beyond the ham fisted stuff they put in to try and give characters some sort of drive, but it just makes them feel horribly artificial. A lot of the decisions characters make are completely nonsensical. And there's just no real flow.

There's also a great deal of blunders, plot holes, and just mistakes made throughout. Things that make no sense. Not to mention the insanely annoying cliche of the guy who's trained for a month somehow being better than people who have dedicated themselves for years. So tiring to see characters pick up a weapon and suddenly being an unstoppable god.

The combat scenes are terrible. Just full of endless jump cuts so they're a chaotic mess with no real impact. Not only jumping between views of the characters but also jumping between different fights. It's painful trying to keep track of who's fighting who and just what's going on. When will directors learn to use actual choreographed fight scenes instead of a hundred 2 second pieces?

The special effects were lackluster. Nothing big was needed, but even what little they had just felt like an afterthought.

If you're a dedicated Joe fan, you might want to watch this for completion's sake... or just to make yourself angry. If you're not a fan, but just like action movies... there are thousands of vastly better movies you can enjoy. Definitely give this one a pass.