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Reviews
Childhood II (1972)
I laughed, I cried, I even pooped my pants a little!
Wow, this film totally changed my life! The sheer scope and vision behind Childhood II made Childhood I look like a home movie of a boring family eating a spaghetti dinner. Seriously! This film makes all others look like poop on a screen. I particularly enjoyed the uncredited cameo from Greg Sylvester as the stoned, free-loving hippie. He steals the show! Go see this movie if you haven't already, you won't be disappointed! Whilst viewing this film for the first time, I prepared by making a large delicious bowl of Act II popcorn because popcorn can make any movie fabulous. Waitaminute, Act II, Childhood II, coincidence? I think not! The popcorn was made all the more delicious by the large glass of Tropicana Twister I had with it. Finally, I completed the film feast with a few junior packs of Milk Duds I had leftover from Halloween. The chewy caramel goodness was almost too good to behold. Boy this movie was great, just thinking about it now makes me want to go out and Netflicks it again. And again and again and again!
Pitstop (2000)
Blueseed knows nothing, this movie rocks!!!
Personally I thought this movie captivated the mind and spirit, bringing together the true emotion that has been so lacking in cinema today. DL does an amazing job of combining forceful meaning and existential ideals into this provocative and sizzling tale of lust greed and murder. Add in a uncanny cameo by the uncredited Chris Landers, and you've got a movie that puts classics like Uwe Boll's Alone in the Dark to shame. The best thing about this movie is it's honesty. It truly mark DL's arrival into the mainstream void of Hollywood. I for one am going to holding personal screenings on every consecutive Tuesdays, just to make the public aware of this wonderful and highly promising work of cinema genius.
Alone in the Dark (2005)
Finally a movie that asks the question, why do movies need to be good in the first place?
Egad this thing was god-awful. I did not have the distinct pleasure to see Uwe Boll's first epic, House of the Dead, but from what I hear he has kept his cinematic integrity in tact. Alone in the Dark is the equivalent of taking 50 million dollars, wiping your ass with it, and smearing it all over a movie screen, thats pretty much what I saw anyway. It shocks me to think of how many people in the midst of this movie being made never once questioned what the hell this guy was doing. The only thing remarkably forgiving is the brilliant and uncredited performance of Greg Sylvester as the pot-smoking slacker. All in all, if you want to make movies that you thought sucked look good, go see this thing that for some reason people claim is a movie.