shamus-mcdougal73 Reviews

Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)

Munro singing on the soundtrack is the only positive

[2/10 · 4 November 2022]

The editing is some of the worst I've ever seen. Modern action movies have nothing on the choppy mess the supposedly suspenseful scenes provide in this boring mess of a film.

The acting is horrible. The cinematography is mediocre. The plot is interesting enough, but the writers clearly couldn't figure out how to fit a solid story into this wannabe gialo.

A killer stalking store Santas during the winter holidays could be an amazing Slasher flick but this fails horribly.

Not sure how else to explain my disdain for this waste of money, but the dialogue is the oddest mix of proper villain rant and moronic victim commentary. Feels like a poor attempt at a 70s Slasher made in the 80s.

All in the Family: The Jeffersons Move on Up (1975) Season 5, Episode 17

Worst acting and direction of the series.

[5/10 · 24 January 2021]

Not sure why the direction and editing is so bad for this episode. Maybe they brought in a new team for the new Jeffersons show and that's the issue but people are constantly standing still as if waiting for the scene to start or end. The new actors brought in for the mixed race in-law family were much weaker actors than the originals from the Lionel's Engagement episode. Overall an awkward watch and the poorest performance of the series from the usually brilliant Jeffersons couple

The Stand: The End (2020) Season 1, Episode 1

Disjointed mess

[4/10 · 17 December 2020]

I'm not sure who made the decision tell the story out of order, while also skipping months between key scenes. I can only assume they didn't want to make a scene for scene remake of the original TV series. Unfortunately, if I wasn't already so familiar with the book and original series, I don't think I would have understood what was going on. Characters are just suddenly on the other side of the country.

Maybe they want to introduce all the characters and then use each episode to flash back to how they managed to make it to Boulder? It's free, so I'll keep checking it out, but not impressed so far.

The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs: Joe Bob's Halloween Hideaway: Haunt (2020) Season Unknown, Episode Unknown

Great film choice, poor break choices

[7/10 · 12 December 2020]

I'm a fan of Darcy the Mail Girl most of the time, but the dead pan acting from her in this one was horrid. The whole build up of playing jump scare pranks on Joe Bob and the crew acting goofy did nothing but unnecessarily break up the whole point of the breaks... Joe Bob giving random information and occasionally going on long tangents. Probably the weakest of the specials.

The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs: Joe Bob's Halloween Hideaway: Hack-O-Lantern (2020) Season Unknown, Episode Unknown

Too much failed comedy bit

[3/10 · 12 December 2020]

I'm not sure what they were going for here. Seems they were trying to build up the idea of the crew being possessed by woods spirits, or something, in the first movie. This second half was just a mess. Too little of Joe Bob going on long rants, sometimes not really all that connected to the film, and too much of a horribly failed comedic horror sketch.

The Beast in Heat (1977)

Guinea pigs torture...

[2/10 · 20 January 2020]

There are plenty of depraved ideas in this film, but it contains some of the most inept film making I've ever seen. Occasionally you get some gore, but it's random and poorly executed. The worst comes during a mass torture scene where one nude female has a metal pale set upside down on her stomach, the top is set aflame and blood covers her abdomen. Ah, rat torture! Maybe things are improving... nope. They remove the pale to reveal two large guinea pigs in close up. They couldn't even take the shot from a distance where it may have fooled the audience. This scene sums up this horribly slow and dull flick. I don't suggest watching unless you are imbibing with a group of friends.

Watchmen (2019)

An amazing series that completely collapses in the finale.

[7/10 · 26 December 2019]

I was blown away with how good this show was. The first eight episodes range from very good to great, but the finale is an absolute mess. Ice shot down like a gatling gun, but it only punctures through a hand, cops survive hiding in cars, a phone booth to Mars holds up fine, but the super transfer machine can't handle it... a super cage for Dr Manhattan that let's liquified man leak through, suddenly Veidt will be held responsible, just tons of random ideas poorly jammed into a sloppily executed ending to an amazing series.

No real surprises in this ending, it's all laid out in the 8th episode. I just wish they had told the finale better than they did.

All the Creatures Were Stirring (2018)

All the oddness

[8/10 · 25 December 2018]

Discovered this at random breaking up my usual ReAnimator/Alien marathon for Xmas Eve. Loved this flick! Absolutely and unapologetically Indie. A fantastic telling of Christmas Horror Anthologies!

Better Watch Out (II) (2016)

Both negative and positive reviews are way off.

[2/10 · 6 December 2017]

I'm confused by both the negative and positive reviews I read for this movie. Pretty much, expect Home Alone and its level of realism and intelligence, then combine garbage horror and drama. There is absolutely nothing suspenseful or dramatic about this garbage film. If you want a somewhat funny and equally unrealistic flick, check out Netflix's The Babysitter.

Bear (I) (2010)

Oh JOY! Another 'horror' film that is all couples talking!

[3/10 · 23 March 2017]

I would rate this film a 1, except for the beautiful job that the director did in filming this piece of crap. Just another film where an indie director came up with an idea for a horror flick and then padded it with enough 'couples talking' (and usually not about the threat they are facing) to make up 90 percent of the film.

I miss when indie film makers under-wrote the dialog and did a horrible job at making gore, while making a complete horror flick.

PS.

Whoever (and I'm not looking this up) did the score for this flick did a very good job.

PSS.

It is entirely Dread Central's fault that I saw this film because they included it in last month's Box of Dread. (I forgive them. :D)