JoBloTheMovieCritic Reviews

The Gray Man (2022)

The Gray Man

[5/10 · 24 July 2022]

5/10 - yet another mindless, "should have been better," expensive, and bloated Netflix action original that left me with two main questions: why was Jim Carrey's Dr. Robotnik the inspiration for Chris Evans' Lloyd Hansen?, and why did the filmmakers watch Ambulance (2022) and decide to copy that style of drone shot cinematography but make it way too fast, swervy, and just all in all utterly nauseating?

Nope (2022)

Nope

[7/10 · 22 July 2022]

7/10 - artistically strong with solid performances from Keke Palmer and Brandon Perrera especially, this not-so-traditional horror (more sci-fi) proves that there is still room for original ideas in Hollywood even if this continues the trend of me not completely connecting with Peele's films.

Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

Where the Crawdads Sing

[6/10 · 21 July 2022]

6/10 - I don't really know how this book/movie is considered a mystery when the solution could barely be any more obvious, but this B-grade drama is entertaining enough (even with its Hallmark budget looking fonts which drove me insane and two male leads who looked almost identical save for one of them having blonde highlights)

Persuasion (I) (2022)

Persuasion

[7/10 · 21 July 2022]

7/10 - I don't know that the rest of you all watched, but this surprise from Netflix eloquently blended modernity with a classic Jane Austen tale with a captivating Dakota Johnson performance that makes for a solid watch...maybe even two.

Umma (2022)

Umma

[3/10 · 21 July 2022]

3/10 - I didn't have high hopes for this low-budget horror flick that pretty much dropped from nowhere (little to no promotion), but literally what on earth was this story and more importantly, why did Sandra Oh agree to star?

1UP (2022)

1UP

[3/10 · 21 July 2022]

3/10 - I will admit there were a few laughs courtesy of Paris Berelc and Hari Nef in between the constant cringe and near constant attempts to ripoff Pitch Perfect, but my biggest question is how did they manage to get so many big names for this and why these actors haven't fired their agents already.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

[3/10 · 21 July 2022]

3/10 - not my favorite slasher horror franchise by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm sorry this was just a pitiful use of successful IP and deserves to be forgotten as an unfortunate, regrettable Halloween retread and ripoff.

The Weekend Away (2022)

The Weekend Away

[5/10 · 21 July 2022]

5/10 - I honestly don't know who greenlit this script because there is just nothing of any true substance here with the dead obvious twists, poor pacing, and all in all, Leighton Meester deserves much better.

No Exit (I) (2022)

No Exit

[5/10 · 21 July 2022]

5/10 - the elevator pitch/plot outline for this Hulu release was very enticing, but it turned out to very much be a redundant B horror flick in the style of Screen Gems' worst (Don't Breathe 2, Brightburn, etc.)

I Want You Back (2022)

I Want You Back

[6/10 · 21 July 2022]

6/10 - not Isaac Aptaker and Elizabeth Berger's best and sometimes it felt like the stacked cast was wasted in that there weren't too many laugh-out loud moments, but it is a perfectly serviceable rom-com.

Good Luck to You, Leo Grande (2022)

Good Luck to You, Leo Grande

[8/10 · 21 July 2022]

8/10 - this feels ripped from Broadway/the West End with its poetic and stage-like minimalism but boy does the writing and acting elevate this to be a truly fantastic and impactful indie must-see.

The Stepford Wives (2004)

The Stepford Wives

[7/10 · 5 July 2022]

7/10 - the Nicole Kidman stan in me may be a little partial to this dystopian flick that exudes 2000s style but feels so timely but I firmly attest that this should be esteemed as a campy cult classic (and I am bracing myself for when TikTok discovers it)

There's Something About Mary (1998)

There's Something About Mary

[4/10 · 5 July 2022]

4/10 - I think the Farrelly brothers just maybe aren't my style of comedy, but this movie that should have been a slam dunk is not only not funny but has pretty ruthlessly failed the test of time.

Ouija (II) (2014)

Ouija

[4/10 · 5 July 2022]

4/10 - one thing that I don't think I'll ever understand is how you somehow manage to make a horror movie about a Ouija board not scary (or even campy), not fun, and ridiculously anticlimactic.

The Black Phone (2021)

The Black Phone

[7/10 · 5 July 2022]

7/10 - I love a new Blumhouse horror flick and this one is a fairly strong entry into the production company's repertoire (thanks in large part to the strong acting chops of the film's young cast), but I'm afraid this fun but flawed sort-of supernatural flick isn't the new horror classic some have made it out to be.

Admission (2013)

Admission

[6/10 · 5 July 2022]

6/10 - Tina Fey and Paul Rudd have enough chemistry to carry this through and the story is goof for the most part, but this just doesn't pack the comedic punch or strong ending this movie really needed.

Jerry and Marge Go Large (2022)

Jerry & Marge Go Large

[6/10 · 5 July 2022]

6/10 - I love when true stories like this that you otherwise wouldn't have heard of are made into movies, but unfortunately there just isn't enough here to fill out the runtime and it ends up feeling hollow.

Father of the Bride (2022)

Father of the Bride

[5/10 · 5 July 2022]

5/10 - I'm usually all one for updating classic stories for new audiences and new generations, but this second remake does not have the jokes or solid enough writing to justify why you shouldn't just watch the Steve Martin/Diane Keaton remake (and just lets down its talented cast on all fronts)

Sing (2016)

Sing

[7/10 · 5 July 2022]

7/10 - there isn't necessarily anything super inventive about this animated musical spectacular, but it's all-star cast and inspired music placements ensure that it is a fun and tight feature to entertain all ages.

Firestarter (2022)

Firestarter

[5/10 · 16 June 2022]

5/10 - it pains me to say this after the exciting, horror classic opening credits and strong opening scenes, but this is like a Lifetime movie and not even among the best Lifetime movies out there.

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Top Gun: Maverick

[7/10 · 16 June 2022]

7/10 - while I may not be nearly as in love with this movie as other people, but this popcorn blockbuster is perfect matinee viewing and will definitely leave you feeling energized and even patriotic.

Watcher (I) (2022)

Watcher

[5/10 · 16 June 2022]

5/10 - if you are able to enjoy a slow (and I mean slowwwww) burn then Watcher may be for you; otherwise, you may find yourself straining to not be bored for the 90 minute run time (all for a conclusion that isn't enough of a payoff to make it all worthwhile)

Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022)

Downton Abbey: A New Era

[8/10 · 16 June 2022]

8/10 - the trailer had me unconvinced that there was a good enough story to warrant a two hour movie, but this delightful bookend to the original series runs you through all the emotions and is worth the return to Downton.

The Valet (2022)

The Valet

[6/10 · 16 June 2022]

6/10 - Eugenio Derbez movies seem to always be a hit or miss for me, but this one managed to land right in the middle for me-a pleasant enough one-off watch but nothing I'll truly remember.

Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

Jurassic World: Dominion

[7/10 · 11 June 2022]

7/10 - maybe I'm just a sucker for a legacy cast return a la Scream and Spider-Man: No Way Home, but if you can get past the rambling and frankly unnecessary first hour, some bad acting from the majority of the cast (Dern, Wise, Athie, and Howard are the major exceptions), and some not good and maybe even bad cinematography, you will find a lot to enjoy in this sixth installment and end of a Jurassic era even with its flaws.