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ronthechef
Reviews
3 Body Problem: Wallfacer (2024)
Plot Hole Problem
Remember Lost? Remember how after 3 or 4 seasons the writers got addicted to cliffhangers? They kept adding plot devices that piled mystery on top of mystery episode after episode. Before they knew it, they had more questions left unanswered than they could keep up with, so they just said f-it and left it unanswered rather than try to piece together the juggernaut of moving puzzle pieces and provide fans with much needed, plausible explanations to their superfluous enigmas. And it sucked.
Well, here we are with the same basic thing.
This show started out so great; unique ideas, great characters, reasonably plausible plotlines. But now the plausibility has vanished. A perfect example is if the aliens have this all-seeing, all-knowing AI "Lord" watching over us, causing us to see hallucinations and buzzing countdowns, how can they not read our minds? Yet, the supposed answer to us defeating the enemy is to hire 3 people to come up with ideas to win because they believe the aliens can't read our minds. Like it doesn't even make sense.
And the worst and most glaring issue I have is .... If they are trying to kill Saul, why get another flaw-filled human to do it, just crash his plane. In fact, they could CLEARLY just shut down all our computers and satellites, crippling us back to the bronze era.
Oh, and where do the video game VR headsets come from? How are they delivering those from 400 years away?
I doubt I'll be watching next season.
The X Files: First Person Shooter (2000)
Compu'er says no
I've watched XFiles since the 90s but stopped around 1999, so lately I've been binging them. This particular episode is easily the worst episode in television history.
Was it written by a 13 year old? The plot, mean, it doesn't even make logical sense. It's not even worth trying to explain how unrealistic this ridiculous episode is.
I will say they really could never top the first 3 or 4 seasons. I suspect they were simply running out of ideas and in 2000 the virtual reality tech was just becoming intriguing but no one really knew whether or not it was going to catch on. They could have perhaps consulted some actual computer tech professionals though.
The Creator (2023)
SiFi Without Plausibility
The acting was top notch. The score, the cinematography, the CGI was all class-A stuff. Even the story itself was interesting and thought provoking. It just didn't seem sensical.
First of all, the biggest concern I had, and couldn't shake the whole watching, was the NOMAD ship. From what they showed, it was this huge, slow moving, lumbering easy target that any army could shoot missiles at and blow it up. There was never any indication it had shields or anything like that.
Next, why would AI robots behave EXACTLY like humans. To the point of sitting and leaning and running and praying and watching robot strippers etc etc. It made no sense. Artificial beings would surely be more sophisticated than that, right? It was like watching Futurama.
How could an American military invade all these regions of Asia and not meet at least one army. Just cops? And where were all the people? You'd assume there would be billions of people still around, but there were more robots than humans it seemed.
All in all it wasn't a terrible movie, I just had trouble getting past how unlikely things would be if AI took over.
Ahsoka: Part Three: Time to Fly (2023)
Who is the audience here?
As a long time fan of Star Wars I've been disappointed countless times. The Mandalorian was a show that rekindled my love for Star Wars and I guess every time Filoni and Favreau make a new series, I get excited and expect the same feelings. Well, this series so far is just as boring and lifeless as Boba Fett, Obiwan and the 3 sequels.
Rosario Dawson is great, I'll give the show that. And the 2 dark Jedi are great characters. Pretty much everything else has no soul. The dialogue is flat and recycled. I get that these characters all came from a kid's cartoon, but I kind of expect an upgrade in plot and dialogue when watching a high budget show like this.
All in all, this show has all the makings of yet another money grab. Anything to keep my subscription to Disney, I suppose.
The music is really good, though. Has a definite John Williams sound to it.
The Change-Up (2011)
Honestly
Who writes this stuff? This was worse than those b-comedy movies from the 80s like Caddyshack 2, or Summer Job. Ryan Reynolds will literally take any job. Jason Bateman too.
It's almost like they're just cashing it in until they become irrelevant. Just terrible.
Lazy writing, cliche situations, predictable storyline....
Eye rolling, gratuitous potty humour. Unnecessary drug use; but it's cool, dude.
Oh, I thought of another trash 80s movie that fits this genre -- "18 Again" with George Burns and some noname kid. They switch bodies and you already know it's just an hour and a half of pure cringe. Just like Change-Up.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
As Usual, Johnny Depp
An otherwise fun and delightful movie if not for Johnny Depp's pretentious and annoying quips and forced humour.
Honestly, why do they keep giving this guy movies.?
Joe Pera Talks with You (2018)
Refreshing
It's nice to have a show that can be compared to no other show on account of its like no other show. Maybe because it's different it's good. I'm not really sure, but I know I like it.
Movie 43 (2013)
Absolute Garbage. I loved it.
It was supposed to be a silly, childish, low brow comedy and it was. Mission accomplished. I giggled and chortled, I even guffawed a couple times.
Sorry it wasn't good enough for all you snobs out there.
I loved it.
Troy (2004)
Shallow and Boring
Honestly, the dialogue was written by authors of Harlequin Novels. Or monkeys.
Llamas in ancient Greece?
Brad Pitt's accent was the perfect symbol of how poor this movie was.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Poor Gal
Even the resplendent Gal Gadot couldn't save this poorly constructed movie. Despite my admiration for Gal, Pedro and Kristen, the kindergarten style plot and dialogue just felt lifeless and fake.
The 80s sets and props and costumes were fabulous, though.
Could have used more 80s music.
Hans couldn't even save this movie.
The Mandalorian: Chapter 16: The Rescue (2020)
1977
This episode felt more like the original Star Wars moreso than any prequel or sequel could ever dream.
Star Trek: Discovery: Unification III (2020)
I'm done
I tried, I really tried. 1st season was great, 2nd season was not bad, this season is just horrible. Despite the wonderful acting the dialogue and plots are unbearable.
This one did me in, I can't watch another episode of tears and long soliloquies. Plausibility at all time lows with this one.
I'm done.
1917 (2019)
Speechless
It's been a very long time since I've seen a high quality film such as this one. It was perfect.
The Old Guard (2020)
All over the place
It started ok, then as the plot unravelled, it made less and less sense. The story was simple enough, but the inconsistencies made it so unbelievable.
The acting was excellent. The dialogue was as shallow as a soap opera. The music was terrible; auto-tuned pop garbage. The characters didn't stay consistent, let alone developed.
The fight scenes weren't even that good.
I could go on, but you get the point.
Fire in the Sky (1993)
Lagging Loggers
The movie in its entirety is slow and boring. The abduction scene, however, was and still is the most riveting alien abduction scene in cinematic history.
Inception (2010)
Perfection
I love all of Nolan's work, but this one is nothing short of perfection.
Suspend your belief and enjoy this movie.
Annihilation (2018)
Unique and Suspenseful
My expectations have been low for sci-fi movies for years now, but this movie wasn't anywhere near as bad as it could have been.
Not unlike Ex-Machina, Alex Garland impressed his style into this film which I find very appealing. His movies have a certain flavour to them which seems to capture my attention in a macabre way.
He brings the best out in his actors, which is essential for weird movies. How many times have you seen a weird movie and thought, "Ugh, the acting is terrible!" And the entire film is a joke. Not so with this film. Natalie Portman is wonderfully serious, Jennifer Jason Leigh is creepy and distant, the rest of the characters all portrayed well by their respective actors.
The concept of the "off-worldyness" itself is unique so there was a large margin of error I was willing to grant, despite the plot holes.
All in all, a unique sci-fi movie with some intense scenes well worth my time.
The Meg (2018)
Mildly Entertaining
A terribly cliché action film. It actually wasn't horrible and lived up to my expectations.
Cheesy lines, cheesy tough guy protagonist, cheesy monster, cheesy special effects.
You get the point.
Perfect movie for getting drunk with the fellas and making fun of it.
Spectral (2016)
What I Expected
I didn't have high hopes and was not disappointed.
Pretty much an Aliens style plot, complete with a little girl that looks astoundingly like Newt.
A Predator style creature(s) with a ghostly twist.
Star Trek Next Generation style techo-babble and made up science loosely based on actual science.
Gigantic plot holes (he has to sign a waiver to see the big secret, a secret which apparently everybody already knows).
Cliché army dudes.
I will say this, the acting was pretty good. The characters, while shallow, were well executed by the actors.
There was some decent suspense.
Effects were up to par.
All in all a great movie to kill an hour and a half on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
RoboCop 3 (1993)
What the **** was that?
It was like a school project. Grade 9 A/V students made this film, right?
Star Trek: Picard: The Impossible Box (2020)
Still Not Liking This
More boring drivel. Cliché relationships, predictable scenes, lonnnnng, boring, shallow dialogue.
This show better pick up soon or I'm done.
Star Trek: Picard: Stardust City Rag (2020)
Enough Already
That was brutal. Why do they have to make goofy episodes like that. Stick to science fiction and deep character development.
Armageddon (1998)
It is what it is
I saw this movie in the theatre when it came out, then a few times since then and then again last night. It's amazing how much movies have changed since the late 90's.
By today's standards, yes, as pointed out by many reviewers, it's a patently "rah rah USA!" and that's Hollywood for ya!
Why I give this film a poor rating is the bad script, lazy Hollywood clichés, gigantic plot holes and most importantly, the profoundly oblivious attention to anything remotely plausible respecting science.
But, it is what it is: An action film directed by Michael Bay. To expect the quality of a Christopher Nolan film from Michael Bay is not how it works.
Ol Pejeta Diaries (2015)
Brilliant Filming
This is a series worth spending time watching if you have an interest in African wildlife. There is a professional balance of education and emotion as we are taken through daily routines of hard working, dedicated park reserve personnel and locals.
Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens (2016)
Why
Honestly, why are they doing these movies still? Like, there's doing over the top for fun then there's just over the hill.