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Reviews
Ready or Not (2019)
A Wonderful, Self-Aware Treat
For anyone not looking to be impressed by some masterfully crafted horror movie, this is sure to be a good time.
It's a phenomenal blend of suspenseful horror, relieving comedic bits, and over-the-top madness that knows better than to take itself too seriously.
The comedic elements are assuredly the strongest of the movie with the weakest being little portions of the narrative (specifically the flip-flopping of character allegiances) that stem mostly from having to write a story with such a contained setting.
All in all, it's a blast for anyone looking to enjoy a fun movie to watch with friends that doesn't require you to turn your brain off.
Good stuff!
Game of Thrones: The Iron Throne (2019)
Review of 8.6 and S8 Overall
Where to begin, where to begin...
First, we all need to acknowledge that we entered this season with incredibly high-and not necessarily unwarranted-expectations that very likely could not be met. Unfortunately, I appear to be among the few long-time Thrones fans not screaming bloody murder that the final season and finale were a dumpster fire. At very least, allow me to explain my reasoning and hopefully quell some of the toxic vitriol being spewed about at the moment.
SPOILER! - SPOILERS! - SPOILERS! - SPOILERS!
- - - Season 8 Overall: Pro's and Con's
- PRODUCTION - I tip my hat to anyone involved with Thrones production that didn't work on the narrative. Between the CGI, set pierces, and....well...almost everything else, the last season looked incredible. Hair and makeup, costumes, set design, choreography, graphics, cinematography, music, etc. Nearly perfect, despite issues with editing and controversial lighting earlier on. Partial credit needs to be given to the suspenseful atmosphere that the dark lighting provided in the first three episodes, despite its backfiring with many fans.
- BATTLE SCENES - The Battle of Winterfell and the "Battle" of King's Landing, despite their flaws, are breathtaking. The former's pure, white-knuckle tension is incredibly difficult to achieve and the latter's chaotic marvel is truly underrated.
- NARRATIVE PACING - This is actually quite all-encompassing, as I'll shortly discuss. I've said it before and I'll say it again: seasons 7 and 8 needed to be full seasons. No questions asked. The finished products were very rushed (though I'd argue season 7 faired quite well nonetheless). This led to little screen time for major characters and greatly impacted the story arcs. We'll get to this in a minute, I promise.
- TECHNICAL ISSUES - As I mentioned previously, there were a couple issues with certain coffee cups and water bottles making it into the final cut. Cast your claims of lazy editing as you will. As well, for those of us not watching the first half of the season late at night in a comfortable, dark living room, the lack of lighting in the Winterfell episodes was enough to anger many.
- SIMPLE DECISIONS - Though I won't expand on them in too much detail because the rushed plot addresses most of it, simply narrative choices like 1) Arya killing the Night King rather than Jon, 2) Cersei being crushed by rubble rather than being killed by Arya or Jaime, 3) killing Rhaegal for shock value rather than pitting him against undead Viserion to add weight to the Battle of Winterfell, or 4) the simple unwillingness to kill off more characters during the two largest narrative battles in the show.
Overall: 6/10 largely due to the plot. Speaking of which:
- - - Season 8, Episode 6: "The Iron Throne" (specifically, the narrative)
- CLOSURE - The end to the storylines of Daenerys, Tyrion, Sansa, Arya, and the major Westerosi political players were done quite well with regard to what the story allowed. A better narrative with more time dedicated to it could have done it better, but for what we got, these were among the best ends we could ask for.
- JON'S SENTENCE - We knew going in that Jon would not take the throne. He'd refuse it even if it was given to him. The rightful heir assuming his position as ruler would be far to picturesque for the show. That being said, the fate of Game of Thrones's tragic hero being left up to the political bargaining of the Westerosi leaders felt very cheap and a like hauntingly unfitting drawing of the short straw. With all he has endured, including death, constant conflict, and the forced murder of the love of his life, is his essential banishment really the best we could get?
- BRAN'S APPOINTMENT - It was made in extreme haste with poor justification and compounded the cheapness of it all with Bran's "why do you think I've been waiting here all this time" comment enraging fan feelings of his uselessness in the past two seasons.
Overall: 6/10 for doing the best it could with the direction forced upon it. And speaking of that direction:
- - - Conclusion/My Take
- The season should have been 10 episodes
- The Battle of Winterfell should have been lost
- Jon should have killed the Night King during the Army of the Dead's attack on King's Landing
- Arya or Jaime should have killed Cersei (though Cersei dying with Jaime is appropriate as well)
- Jon killing Daenerys was always the correct choice
Game of Thrones: The Last of the Starks (2019)
Bro, What?
What's going on?! Did they let the Walking Dead writers take a crack at this one? I'm absolutely terrified that my favorite show is about to become garbage because of its ending.
Unnecessary deaths, terrible sense of what important and what's not, deprived us of the scenes we most wanted to see, and is setting up Game of Thrones for its ending almost as poorly as Star Wars is right now.
I'm so incredibly disappointed.
Bad writing lightning round:
1) Dany has to beg Jon not to tell people he's Aegon
2) Jaime leaves to go back south, ruining his entire character
3) The Northerners are all still stuck up
4) Dany becomes even less likable
5) Rhaegal. Seriously? She could see that fleet? Why kill of another dragon so flippantly? Stupid.
6) CERSEI COULD HAVE KILLED DANY AND TYRION WITH NO CONSEQUENCE BUT DIDNT. WHO WRITES THESE?!
7) That entire Bronn subplot was just annoying.
Game of Thrones: The Long Night (2019)
Alright here's the rub
This score of 7/10 is the result of balancing the pro's and con's of the episode. I viewed the episode first from a positive perspective (noting everything I loved about it) and then negative (everything I hated). Let's start positively:
Pro's: 10/10 (from a positive perspective).
1. SO INTENSE. Almost zero breathing room. Visceral.
2. Fantastic graphics and CGI as usual.
3. NUMBER of character deaths (they didn't skimp)
4. Darkness is a double-edged sword but does add to the atmosphere and fear factor
Con's: 4/10 (from a negative perspective)
1. The Night King's death. Oh my god. Who decided on that?! So many plot holes, implications, and loose ends!
2. IMPORTANCE of character deaths (bigger characters should've died but didn't.
3. Darkness was just too much.
Averages out to a 7/10. We REALLY need explanations, showrunners. Please don't let this be the way the Night King's arc ends because, as it stands, there was absolutely no consequence to the White Walker plot that was the second most important component of the show (behind only the political battle for the Iron Throne). I trust that SOMETHING will happen, because Arya cannot be Azor Ahai and Melisandre's prophecy of the "prince who was promised" would be null and void. I trust the showrunners not to do us dirty like that.
Game of Thrones: Winterfell (2019)
AWESOME
Best opening episode yet! So many reunions! Wasted no time giving Jon the information he needed.
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
Extremely unhealthy for the overall Star Wars narrative, but not deserving of the hate it gets.
This review will get nothing but hate because I'm giving even a little bit of intermittent praise to a movie people love to bash. Yeah, well, get over it. Ever consider that you might not be taking an objective look at it?
I totally agree that killing Luke and nearly every other major decision made in the film was a bad idea in regard to franchise direction. Yes, the casino side plot was just horrendously stupid. This film's consequences are what make it so controversial and, in that sense, I'd agree! It's very unhealthy for the franchise and near entirely derails the new trilogy. But we're not reviewing the new trilogy here, are we?
Otherwise, in and of itself, Last Jedi is NOT that bad. Please stop needlessly hating just to hate. It's better than Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones.
Star Wars (1977)
Sadly only useful for nostalgia
I grew up a massive fan of Star Wars. I've seen every movie dozens of times and I will forever be a fan.....of the memories.
Unfortunately, the original triology has aged like milk. This movie, along with the other two, will always be a cherished memory for me, but I can't in good conscience bring myself to still consider this a good film. The dialogue, graphics (yes, I know), and narrative just don't stand the test of time.
As much as it pains me to say it, the original trilogy is outdated.
Captain Marvel (2019)
What's with all the hate? Take the politics elsewhere!
I enjoyed it. There's fun to be had here. I'm not sure why people are so up in arms. It certainly wasn't without its flaws and definitely wasn't among the MCU's strongest entries, but it's perfectly enjoyable, it's engaging, and Captain Marvel will be a fine addition to the Avengers in Endgame.
Stop giving things low scores just because of politics, friends. Life's too short.
Annihilation (2018)
Completely mismarketed, thought-provoking thriller meant for the analytical
This was a pretty great film, but it's bound to disappoint casual observers not ready to dissect some allegorical and ambiguous plot points and themes. It disappoints me to see how many people rush to criticize this film without giving it the analysis that it requires and deserves.
When a film gets critical acclaim for being thought-provoking, odds are that the critics are right and your negative review about how the film is stupid because it doesn't make sense is wrong. Sorry.
Thoroughbreds (2017)
WOW, not for everyone, but what a wild film!
I see why this movie won't get 9's and 10's from everyone. It's slow and it's quirky dialogue and presentation are it's main draw. But what a fantastic piece as a whole! Experiencing the ending is reason alone for watching!
Predators (2010)
Not great but not worth the hate!
This is a flawed movie for sure, but it's fun. I definitely think it's the second best of any predator movie. It's a good time and an interesting scenario.
Wonder Woman (2017)
A mixed bag if ever there was one
So let's start with saying that this is the best DCEU movie bar none and there is good fun to be had here...........but I have many gripes with this film and please hear me out before rating how helpful this review is.
Pro's:
1) Gal Gadot completely proved me wrong. She is great as Wonder Woman and completely fits the part.
2) Gal Gadot and Chris Pine have great chemistry and once again Pine is impossible to dislike.
3) The action scenes-particularly the house scene on the battlefield-are outstandingly done and very well-choreographed.
4) Diana's backstory was risky in that if it was done poorly it would make her feel completely out of place among the other Justice League members. Luckily, they did a good job and it does the character justice.
5) That last fight was REALLY fun to watch.
Con's:
1) It's........dull. Especially with such a vibrant opening origin for Diana, why on earth would the writers shift gears and place the story in the bleak and colorless setting of WW1? It's just boring.
2) The side characters and secondary villain are so pitifully forgettable it's almost painful.
3) Oh my god the villain reveal. Remus Lupin is supposed to be Ares? Stop. And right after Diana was coming to understand that Ares was less of a person and more of a concept. Absolutely squandered a moment of growth for the character and connection for the audience. And for the love of god, whose idea was that handlebar mustache?
4) Absolutely zero romantic connection was needed between Diana and Trevor. Having them kiss toward the end really took away from the independence and power that eminates from the character of Wonder Woman otherwise. Very poor choice.
All this being said, it's good fun. I'd give it a B-/C+.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Moo Moo (2017)
Fantastic episode
Loved the cultural sensitivity and real-world application in this episode.
To the folks whining about the social justice aspect: if this offends/annoys you, you need it.
Westworld: Kiksuya (2018)
Did I miss something?
People are raving about this episode, but I watched it and I was bored out of my mind. How was this good? I finished it and thought to myself that they must've let the Walking Dead writers take a crack at it. I'll re-watch because chances are that I'm wrong if this many people are raving about it, but I'm dreading sitting through this bore of an episode again.