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Reviews
Snitch (2013)
Good movie but spoiled by the typical mumble!
This could have been a great film but it was spoilt by the modern misery of appallingly diction and sound recording. The simple truth is that even with subtles enabled, it was almost impossible for a Briton to follow the dialogue of this film; it was largely unintelligible.
Snitch (2013)
Good movie but spoiled by the typical mumble!
This could have been a great film but it was spoilt by the modern misery of appallingly diction and sound recording. The simple truth is that even with subtles enabled, it was almost impossible for a Briton to follow the dialogue of this film; it was largely unintelligible.
Last Man Standing (2011)
Absolute garbage!!
I'm sorry to all the other reviewers who, clearly, have a fondness for Ms. Bell but I felt more like Guil Fisher - the whole script was mind-numbingly moronic.
In the scene where she's just come back from dropping her daughter off with a neighbour, what ON EARTH is she doing with her hands while she is 'composing herself'? I really don't know what the director was trying to induce her to portray but maybe it's something only a woman would understand.
Then, when she goes to the widow's house, she flits downstairs and opens a locked door by taking a credit card from her little handbag and no more than shows it to the door and she's in. And then there's that old American movies rubbish of the paper knife to open a locked desk drawer. For God's sake, get real. Haven't you lot done that one to death yet? Do you think we're all idiots out here?
The she's on the phone, logging into a secure military system - one she's had no contact with for EIGHT years - but her pass code still works!!
So, she's flying all over the place, desperately trying to rescue her husband (yeah, right) but still manages to stop at the public phone to call her neighbour to read bedtime stories to her kid! For goodness sake!! Who wrote this stuff?
This woman can only be 100lbs soaking wet but she's capable of chucking 200lb security guards all over the place with hardly a flick of her pretty little lashes.
...and when she finally gets into this high security building by incapacitating three burly guards, she then manipulates a computer system she's never seen before, bypassing ALL of the network security protocols by - get this - popping into some unlocked broom cupboard she's never been in before and swapping a couple of wires around on a network she knows absolutely nothing about! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! This garbage is PRICELESS!! I nearly wet meself!! So the gaumless writers think that NOBODY out here knows ANYTHING about computer security???
Then there's the car chase. Talk about Keystone Cops! All she has to do is drive around this car park and the cops keep driving into the bushes. BRILLIANT!!
It was at this point that I just about gave up because I'd laughed as much as I wanted to and I felt that I'd been patronised enough. Also, the sickening lovesick-teenager-like relationship that these two had left me looking for the vomit bag!
This is yet another American movie made simply because someone decided that Catherine Bell needed to make another movie. Who cares that none of the scenes make sense? And they don't. No common sense at all has been exercised in the direction of the plot. The whole mess is just thrown together with a hubris so common in cheap American films.
A movie FOR women, written BY a woman, in my view, because not one of the scenes survives close scrutiny.
This stuff is nothing more than an insult to the intelligence of anyone who watches it.
Polar Storm (2009)
The audacity of the producers beggars belief!!
This is possible the very WORST film I have ever seen!
I must confess that I only caught the last 40 minutes of this appallingly dreadful excuse for a SciFi movie. Indeed, I find it astonishing that this film was actually made in 2008; I REALLY didn't think that this kind of unforgivable garbage was still being made. The only reason I continued to watch it until the blissful end was because EVERY scene was hilarious as it just kept getting worse and worse. A bit like one of those songs you absolutely HATE but can't help turning up the radio when you hear it playing again.
The acting was amateurish, at best. The science was inexcusably non-existent The plot was predictable and quite clearly a figment of the imagination of someone with absolutely no idea what he/she is talking about The budget for the whole movie must have been infinitesimal The sets were laughable!
Two atomic bombs are needed so they just pop along to their local atom bomb storage hut and TWO blokes lift one onto a truck! The same diesel truck that can later be started by swapping out the battery from a small petrol car. Changed, I might add, in about 30 seconds. The alternator, too, was changed in the same time and just happens to fit an enormous 10-ton truck! So what about the starter motor?
The wife is driving out in the country and brings the car to a stop and a man holding a gun walks up to the car from nowhere - who only becomes visible when he sticks his hand in the window. So an EMP causes blindness, too?
After he and the car get fried, a teenage miracle worker decides that he can resurrect this useless automobile.
An EMP is supposed to neutralise all circuitry in its path, right? So how was this boy able to connect a few wires to something or other inside the engine bay of a petrol car and have the same phenomenon charge the battery from a metal rod stuck with gaffer tape to the body of the car? And what about this same dipstick's comment "You don't need a battery to run a car". So where do the HT sparks come from for the plugs?
This seems like one of those American movies where they start with an actor/actress for whom they want to find a film - ANY film - so the studio recruits some talentless wannabe scriptwriter to cobble together a pile of rubbish that they all believe the American public will stomach and then try to make money out of it while perpetrating a fraud on their poor, unsuspecting audience.
I could go on and on and on and on with this moronic catalogue of idiotic nonsense but what makes the whole thing unforgivable is the assumption that everyone watching this cr&p is stupid.
I'm sure that there are some people who would have found this entertaining, for one reason or another, but I feel that the vast majority of people would find this litany of incompetence and hubris an insult to their intelligence.