mkquinn91 Reviews

The Entity (1982)

Uncomfortably intense in the best way.

[8/10 · 8 June 2020]

It's just about perfect in the first half or so, as it portrays truly horrific and inexplicable trauma. The intensity of the Entity's attacks reminds me of Regan's early possession scenes in The Exorcist, but with the added terror of sexual assault. Barbara Hershey gives an incredible performance, which is supported by some amazing cinematography (so many awesome mirror shots!) and an evocative score. Ron Silver has a great supporting role as a compassionate doctor, where most movies probably would have went with crass skepticism.

Unfortunately there's a rather sharp tonal shift in the second half, as the movie moves into Poltergeist and Ghostbusters territory. It's jarring and a definite reduction in quality, but it manages to get away with it thanks to the strength of the performances and a few more great scares. Sadly, it has the audicity to end with postscript that it was based on a true story. That's both an absurd claim and rather exploitive, considering the sexual assault subject matter.

The Invisible Man (I) (2020)

Great elements, but a poor story

[5/10 · 8 June 2020]

The acting and directing are good, but they're in service of a B-movie script. It's full of plot holes, weird character choices, and dumb twists. The invisibility suit must also have teleportation powers, because otherwise I have no idea how this man gets around. And the invisible scares sometimes fall into moments of unintentional hilarity: I honestly laughed out loud when the sister's throat is slit and the knife magically ends up in Cecilia's hand. And the double (triple?) twist at the end is just obnoxious.

The worst part of the story is that it relies on one of the worst tropes of horror or thrillers: a victim of a conspiracy rambling about their persecution with a wild-eyed intensity rather than acting rationally and calmly, immediately discrediting themselves. Especially with a victim of domestic violence, such a trope is a massive disservice to the character.

If you want to see a great movie about invisibility and female abuse, check out The Entity. The effects and direction are just as impressive, and the lead character acts like a sane person.

Bloodshot (2020)

How could anyone possibly care about this?

[4/10 · 8 June 2020]

What kind of psycho names a main character "KT" without any sort of explanation?

There's a handful of decent special effects, but the story is about corporate espionage/revenge, and it's impossible to care at all about what happens to living tree trunk Vin Diesel.

Grizzly Man (2005)

Skip Tiger King and watch this instead

[8/10 · 8 June 2020]

I have so far resisted peer pressure to watch more than the first episodes of Tiger King, but I can still say with confidence that Grizzly Man is vastly superior.

It's truly incredible the amount of empathy Herzog is able to generate for such a misguided, kooky person. It's all the more impressive to see the contrast between Timothy Treadwell's sentimentalized view of nature with Herzog's (and my, for that matter) view that nature is indifferent and chaotic. To mix these two contrasting philosophies with what are, in some sense, two different films--Treadwell's footage and Herzog's narration and interviews--make for something truly moving and insightful.

Blow the Man Down (2019)

Great cast, but poor story

[5/10 · 8 June 2020]

It has some top-tier character actresses and beautiful sea shanties, but my God is it unfunny and uninteresting.

Why not just call in the murder as self-defense? She's a white woman in Maine. I don't think she has much to fear from the cops....

Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019)

Derivative adventure story, with some solid acting

[5/10 · 8 June 2020]

It has some fun self-referential humor and Isabela Moner is delightful, but unfortunately the humor peaks very early with Dora's hilarious fish out of water adventure in high school. After that its just a poor man's version of Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle with some egregious Indians Jones rip-offs. The direct copy of the Grail scene in Last Crusade felt like actual plagiarism. Perhaps the worst feature though was the CGI: Boots and Swiper will forever haunt my dreams.

Deterrence (1999)

An idiot's version of a West Wing episode

[2/10 · 8 June 2020]

In 2008, the first Jewish president of the United States launches a nuclear strike on Baghdad. From a diner in rural Colorado. In front of its patrons. It's even dumber than it sounds: customers playing chess is heavily focused on, and the lead news network is called IBS. I love a good political thriller, especially ones that are mostly just talking (Fail-Safe is an all-time favorite) but the politics here are simply laughable.

Except maybe not so laughable: after nuking Baghdad the president quits the election, presumably handing it to his opponent: Trump.

By all means don't watch Deterrence, but do check out its Wikipedia page. The plot reads like fan fiction written by someone who flunked a first year international relations course.

Phenomena (1985)

Absolutely bonkers, but in a fun way

[6/10 · 8 June 2020]

The plot makes absolutely no sense, there's terrible dubbing, and random language switches without subtitles. On the other hand there's amazing moments like when an insect flirts with Jennifer Connelly, Iron Maiden played over tense moments, and a chimpanzee picks up a straight-razor. Watch it with friends and booze!

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)

Zzzzzz

[4/10 · 8 June 2020]

This movie has absolutely no right to be nearly 3 hours long.

Megaforce (1982)

Truly awful

[3/10 · 8 June 2020]

There's so much dense, nonsensical exposition and world-building, but it's ultimately so hollow. There are no stakes: you have only the vaguest idea of what's going on, and there never appears to be much of a threat. There is a flying motorcycle, however, which makes up for a lot.

Wind River (2017)

Near perfect procedural thriller

[9/10 · 8 June 2020]

A near perfect procedural thriller, with some truly bleak themes and very intense moments. The Wyoming setting is incredible, and the direction and cinematography use it perfectly. Renner absolutely knocks it out of the park, but the performances by Olsen and the amazing supporting cast are also great

Underwater (2020)

Murkier version of Cloverfield

[4/10 · 8 June 2020]

The scariest part is when Kristen Stewart moves a large piece of rubble to reveal T.J. Miller. Absolutely shocking to see that ass in a 2020 movie.

Miller's awful "humor" is indicative of the garbage dialogue through much of the first half: a mix of bad jokes and cliches in what's meant to be a horror movie. The script is total trash overall, actually. The story is just Cloverfield underwater, and it's even harder to see what the hell is going on when a handheld camera is exchanged for murky water. There are some visual nods to Cthulhu, but it's not very impressive and feels very misplaced.

Searching (III) (2018)

Creative use of computer POV, but doesn't stick the landing

[6/10 · 8 June 2020]

A pretty cool use of the computer point-of-view gimmick, although it strains against the constraints of that choice. It's rather strange to think that a crime victim and a detective would have so many important conversations via FaceTime, for example, and other scenes rely on improbable hidden cameras, live-streaming, and incredibly invasive news helicopters. The plot is very engrossing and tense for most the film, but unfortunately it doesn't stick the landing. The twist ending is outlandish, and then it has the audacity to double twist into a sickly sweet feel good conclusion.

Although John Cho gave a strong performance, I wasn't a big fan of the character. In addition to being a lackluster father, the man was kind of dumb. My favorite example: when he realizes his daughter was talking to someone online using a profile picture of a stock photo model, his reaction is not to assume catfishing or a fake identity, but to track down the model's phone number and call her.

The Guilty (2018)

So much intensity from such a narrow premise!

[8/10 · 8 June 2020]

Damn. One of the more engrossing and tense movies I've seen, and it's all done over the phone. A really incredible accomplishment, with some top notch acting. The lead character is rather unsympathetic and a rather abhorrent cop, but it informs the film in a great way.

The Invisible Guest (2016)

Lots of twists, many of them pretty dumb

[5/10 · 8 June 2020]

Wow, that's a LOT of twists. This is absolutely my least favorite kind of mystery: constructed like an ornate puzzle box, and told in a way designed to obfuscate details and mislead the audience. It feels false and constructed, like you're playing in an escape room rather than watching a believable story. Many of the twists are predictable, and even when the reveals surprise you it elicits more of an eye-roll than a shock.

---SPOILERS---

Around two thirds of the way through, I noticed that the lawyer looked a lot like the dead kid's mom, and I thought maybe it was her in disguise. But surely that would be far too outlandish a conclusion? Right? Righttttt?!! The most audacious and stupid reveal I've seen in ages.

The Vast of Night (2019)

Great debut movie, but ends with disappointment

[5/10 · 8 June 2020]

There are a lot of impressive elements here, especially from a technical perspective, and this debut feature has certainly made me interested in Andrew Patterson's future career. Unfortunately the story fails and the ending is a serious disappointment.

On the one hand, you have some awesome sound design and cinematography. About halfway through there's a tracking shot that flies through the whole town that's beautiful and impressive enough to take your breath away. There's solid acting and endearing characters to accompany these technical achievements.

But on the other hand, you have the bizarre choice to frame the film as an episode of a Twilight Zone-style anthology show, conveyed by random shifts to an old fashioned TV set point of view. It's a bonkers creative decision and very distracting. The biggest problem, however, is that the movie is mostly tense, atmospheric build-up, and all of that anticipation depends on a satisfying conclusion. Unfortunately, it's anything but: the end is equal parts abrupt and vague, and ultimately squanders all the good the film had going for it up to that point. Very disappointing.

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (2006)

Amazing and unique

[9/10 · 8 June 2020]

Especially if he had an oversized nose to match his smelling superpower, Grenouille could be an amazing Batman villain.

What a beautiful, insane film. Gorgeous imagery mixed with filth and horror, woven together with masterful cinematography, editing, and an evocative score. It has the added benefit of combining two of my favorite film genres: murder thriller and period piece.

There have been great films focused on destructive and or perverse obsessions, but it's so interesting to have a man obsessed with scent, something that doesn't readily work in a visual medium. Ben Whishaw gives an admirable performance of obsession, but it is the filmmaking that so effectively conveys the idea of scent and need that really sells the unique premise.

The film starts intensely, with a baby's birth into fish guts, and only gets crazier. It still maintains aesthetic beauty, even as the subject matter becomes increasingly odd and violent. I was often reminded of the TV show Hannibal's knack for making murder and cannibalism visually striking and sometimes appetizing.

The only downside is that the ending is even farther out there than a man killing to steal scents. While shocking and engrossing, I was totally baffled and felt a little betrayed, as though my thriller had suddenly turned into a fantasy movie. After I have some time to digest it, I may end up liking it more and maybe bump this up to a perfect five stars.

P.S. This movie reminded me that I miss Alan Rickman more than some deceased family members.

The Curse of Don's Plum (2019)

Interesting, but somewhat biased

[6/10 · 8 June 2020]

A fairly interesting look at how one of the most tedious, unwatchable movies I've ever come across managed to get made with some of the biggest actors of the era. It was more interesting when viewed as a story largely told by an unreliable narrator: Don's Plum producer Dale Wheatley. The man is surely unstable to care so much about, and allow so much of his life to resolve around, a truly garbage movie. I really appreciated the ending with producer and writer Tawd Beckman highlighting how he was baffled that people are still talking about it.

The Half of It (I) (2020)

Overdone premise and full of cliches

[5/10 · 8 June 2020]

Often charming, but the whole Cyrano de Bergerac formula is so tired and dumb, I couldn't really get invested. It also loses major points for including the criminal cliches of walked in on kiss misunderstanding, and interrupting a public event to give an emotional speech. They're both lazy and cringe-inducing.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

The worst one yet

[3/10 · 8 June 2020]

Jack Sparrow is more obnoxious than ever, and the CGI has never looked worse. Bardem and his dusty crew look awful, especially compared to Davy Jones and company. It's all bloated nonsense and gross looking pirates that we're meant to sympathize with. But hey, at least everyone got to see Kaya Scodelario's ankle.

The Assistant (III) (2019)

Offers an interesting perspective, but it's very dull

[6/10 · 8 June 2020]

Julia Garner carries this film on her back. She makes us empathise with her in every frame. Outside of her performance, the film offers an interesting perspective on office sexual harassment (particularly in entertainment and the Weinstein scandal), but once it became apparent what's going on--and that there's unlikely to be a comeuppance--the tension broke for me and I found myself getting bored, despite the horrifying subject matter.

Did anyone else think this was a secret period piece? Like how Remember Me secretly took place in 2001? The office just seemed like something out of the 90s or 00s, with tons of binders, CDs, printing, and Windows XP-looking software.

To All the Boys I've Loved Before (2018)

Overrated and poorly acted

[3/10 · 8 June 2020]

Why in the world does everyone seem to love this? I couldn't even finish it. I got to about 40 minutes left and couldn't stand the total lack of chemistry between the two leads, the inane plot, and the wooden acting. Lana Condor's narration in particular was totally devoid of emotion, which is fitting for a movie that seems to star androids trying to pass as human. They may have been developed as advanced marketing tools by Subway based on the aggressive product placement.

But I'm a Cheerleader (1999)

Great message, but not as funny as it should be

[5/10 · 8 June 2020]

I really wanted to like this more because I loved the cast and a lot of the messaging (especially considering that it was a bit ahead of its time in 1999), but I it never clicked for me. Although I had a few chuckles (RuPaul was always good for a laugh), overall it just wasn't very funny.

I think part of the problem was the discordance between the very serious themes of sexual identity and oppression mixed with a very silly tone. I also found the production design--all bright pastels and retro 60s elements--very strange and off-putting, especially combined with the truly odd xylophone-heavy score.

The Treatment (2014)

A great thriller, but held back by irritating flaws

[7/10 · 8 June 2020]

This has a lot of what I want in a serial killer movie: lots of investigating, time pressure, weird MO, and moody direction. It easily earns three and a half stars for very skillfully executing a solid creepy killer flick. It could have been a much better movie, but it was held back by some irritating flaws.

Unfortunately the lead character is an angry cop with a traumatic past that makes this crime personal. That is just such an exhausting stock character and it really made the film tedious to watch at times. The loose cannon cop's traumatic background also generates a subplot that doesn't always work well with the main story, and has a rather ridiculous (although audaciously bleak) conclusion.

The Treatment, which I gather was based on a book, also has elements so similar to those in Red Dragon/Manhunter that they're closer to rip-offs than homages. Both prominently involve biting, and also feature a killer that thinks he's transforming and evolving. Both this guy and the Tooth Fairy also have big murder books, filled with visual exposition about their delusions.

There was so much potential in the core, horrifying story that it's a shame it was held back by poor characterization, overstuffed background, and borderline plagiarism.

The Girl with All the Gifts (2016)

Lots of like, but a very unfortunate ending

[6/10 · 8 June 2020]

I was very excited to see a great zombie movie for the first time in a long time, and it was great for the first two-thirds or so. And then it got real silly in the final act.

It started with an original concept and great production design, as well as a creepy score. I appreciated the violence--including a brutal approach to household pets--although the CGI gunshot bloodspatter which looked terrible. It's all great, in fact, until some Lord of the Flies nonsense turns up and one of the most laughable final scenes in horror history is offered.

--SPOILERS--

I actually really appreciated when Melanie set the pods on fired, dooming humanity. I love a great bleak ending. But the wild zombie children were stupid, and got even dumber in the final shot of zombie school. I truly burst out laughing because it was one of the most outlandish things I've ever seen.