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LeoMarvin88
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Never Been Chris'd (2023)
Millennial Christmas HS Reunion/A Christmas Throuple
I really enjoyed this movie, it was fun and nostalgic. It felt like it had more meat to the story than your average G-rated holiday movie. I appreciate the touches of realness in terms of dealing with family members and found family.
I very much was rooting for this to actually be a throuple. The real chemistry, in my opinion, was with the besties Liz and Naomi. I admit I was hoping they would end up together. I felt some serious queer coding at the Hanukkah party and they were each wearing half of a pants suit.
Also, Chris is a low key villain here. He's totally playing both ladies. Not cool.
For me the worst part of the movie is all the vegan stuff. Sorry to my fellow millennials, but I'm a Dairytarian so the idea of vegan eggnog, hot cocoa and cheese bummed me out.
Jolly Good Christmas (2022)
A Jolly Good Christmas
Will Kemp is usually good but this movie he suffered from BadAccentitis. I found myself parroting the phrases or words that sounded really ridiculous. Was the accent New Yorker or Southern? I have no idea. I would have been very happy to have both leads be British. He could have been British born, states raised and now returned. Whatever I'm hyper focusing.
Overall, the movie is pleasant. Other than the fake accent, I like both leads. Love the London Christmas setting, it makes up for fact that there are only like 5 characters total. I'm happy we saw a little dancing from Mr. Kemp, but I was hoping for a waltz.
Christmas CEO (2021)
Can we please talk about...
The stalking Santa?! Wouldn't you be suspicious of some street Santa showing up everywhere you are? I get he's supposed to be magical but somehow he came off creepy.
The only way to make this movie worth it is to make fun of it the whole time.
Utopia Falls (2020)
Not what I was hoping :(
This genre mash up is way out of balance. The visuals indicate more of a sci-fi/dystopian story and then you end up with a "step up/so you think you can dance" story. The actors and aesthetics are pretty good and I appreciate the attempt to incorporate two drastically different things like hip hop and sci-fi but sadly this didn't capture me.
Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000)
Mediocre slasher
You'd think that someone making a movie would know how to make a movie about a movie better. All these senseless killings occur with no clear motive or clever characters. I feel like the filmmakers wanted to pay homage to horror classics but just didn't get there.
Wine Country (2019)
Great Lady-cation
I really enjoyed this story! I love that it was based off a trip they all really had and the truths in female friendships. I so appreciate the mix of comedy in emotional moments, the highs and lows. We are capable of being really deep one moment and making a joke about it the next. It's so rare that a movie captures that so naturally.
Love the talent involved and their DUI songs! I would watch again in a heartbeat.
BH90210: The Reunion (2019)
Pleasantly confused.
Mockumentary(-ish) about the actors who played the characters on BH90210 in an semi altered reality. First I was confused, then laughing, then sad about Luke Perry.
Tori's comedy is shining thru.
Christmas at the Palace (2018)
Skate your way to Queendom
The movie overall isn't bad, I watched the whole thing which is more than I can say for some of the other movies this year. I like that it's a pair of best friends, Katie and Jessica, working and finding love together, it's like the fantasy for best friends to find mates together and a plus, royal(ish).
I actually liked the best friend, Jessica, more than the lead, she was so endearing. You wanted to smile when she did!
The setting is beautiful as usual. I defiantly what to go on a tour of Hallmarkia, I mean Romania.
Honestly, my biggest issue was that the lead, Katie, said she wanted to BOIL MILK for hot chocolate. That would make the milk curdle and chunky hot chocolate sounds gross.
Oh yeah, there's ice skating too.
A Very Nutty Christmas (2018)
Lifesize: Christmas Nutcracker Edition
Barry Watson as the Nutcracker is totally endearing. MJH plays her part well as usual, as do her helpers.
I'll totally watch this again next year along with another MJH classic: Holiday in Handcuffs.
Christmas Joy (2018)
Underbaked
This movie has nice looking people, the Christmas ambiance and that's it. Someone needed to leave this in the oven for a few more minutes because it's under baked.
The premise of a town cookie contest kinda boring without some spices.
Small Town Propaganda: There are quite a few jabs at city people in this movie and I don't appreciate that being from a big city. I don't mind the occasional comparison but they were shoving small town life down our throats here. At one point Joy offers Ben a consultant fee for his help, and he responds basically saying "no in small towns we help for free". What's wrong with valuing his time? or at least attempting to? I see that as a sign of respect.
Either way, I'd say this movie is a bland cookie. I wanted more from the main characters, I like both of the actors so I hope they use them in something with more texture.
Switched for Christmas (2017)
Swappity swap don't swap back
Candace Cameron Bure is one of those Hallmark ladies that I'm always excited to see on the Christmas Line-Up. Maybe it's because I grew up with Full House or I enjoy the cheese she brings to the party.
I love The Parent Trap (the superior one with Lindsey Lohan. Sorry, the old one is SO LONG AND SO BORING). So this premise is already enjoyable with the twin sisters trading places. Thank goodness there's no husband/boyfriends so there isn't any *cover your eyes* bedtime weirdness. The only thing I'm disappointed in is that they didn't make one the twins British somehow, I know, I know it doesn't make sense but it would have been fun to see Candace Cameron Bure try. (yes, you must say her name as a whole, its required)
What is with her and her damn Dream Board? I'm not opposed but this is the second movie I've seen her have one.
Overall, the premise is fun and familiar, the acting is decent and the music is perfectly seasonal. I'll be putting this on my rotation for next year.
I'm Not Ready for Christmas (2015)
Liar, liar: Christmas Edition
Alicia Witt...one of my least favorite Hallmark ladies that I always seem to watch anyway. She's supposed to "sell the truth" in her advertising job but honestly Alicia doesn't sell that she's human. I think she's secretly an evil robot sent to gain our trust through wholesome Hallamrk. What a perfect cover!
Her trying to imitate Jim Carrey's wonderful comedic outbursts from Liar, Liar is SO HARD TO WATCH! It actually made me cringe, but somehow I kept watching. Her "truth spills" feel super robotic and where is her eyeline? Someone needs to update her programming.
As for the movie, I appreciate that the main character has flaws. Sometimes Hallmark characters can be too polished. The story is cute and moves along well. It has a decent sense of humor, so I suppose I'll be back again next year to watch, dammit.
PS The title/reoccurring song "I'm not ready for Christmas" is sung by the one and only Alicia Witt! So rare to get an Actor/Singer/Robot trifecta. But I'm not going to lie, the song goes from annoying to infectious.
Enchanted Christmas (2017)
Clever title here.
His scenes are fine, but hers drag! They seem to have no chemistry, it's awkward. He feels far more natural and charming. I seem to tune her out tho, not even on purpose. I just found myself wandering when she was talking. Can we please separate them? I'd love to see his paring with Lacey Chabert or even a cougar-ish move with Candance Cameron Bure.
I know chronically she is capable of having a child, but it doesn't seem to work with her. Couldn't she have just been a single career woman reconnecting with her past. The child plot feels like that last piece of jewelry you put on that you should immediately take off. Too much.
Honestly, not even the snowy exterior saves this movie. It's a decent warm-up to the holiday season movies, but I'd never watch it if better movies were on or recorded on my DVR. The commercials are more interesting. Is there even really a conflict in this movie? I barely noticed the dancing in this movie, it was just there.
Would it be too much to ask for a Hallmark version of Spy Kids?
Love at First Dance (2018)
Surprisingly, not as cheesy as I expected.
When I read the title, I expected something more cheesy but this is pretty Gouda!
This movie takes place in an actualcity where city life isn't as demonized. I appreciate that since I live in a big city and it's nice to know there might still be Hallmark magic left here.
The characters feel more like real people, both at a career fork in the road, her finding out whether she should do or teach, him following in his family foot steps or an artistic pursuit. So many people can relate to that.
The dancing is so fun to watch, it's like Dirty Dancing: Hallmark Nights. And the music is from artists I've heard of, shocking I know!
Overall, I'd totally watch this again.
Love on the Slopes (2018)
Oh Cerie, Go back to 30 Rock.
Pretty people don't always equal actors. I take most of these Hallmark movies with not just a grain of salt, a salty pretzel.
The eyeline of the talking props is so strange, it makes you feel like the characters can't see.
The best part of the movie was the scenery. A beautiful snowy mountain, always magical.
I probably wouldn't watch this again, but I enjoyed picking it apart!
By the way, You can't call yourself a resort without a bellman, just saying. Not that I expect reality here but com'mon, there isn't one strapping young Canuck who wants to help?
Winter's Dream (2018)
Buffy and Superman can ski.
Honestly, for a non-peak season winter movie, it's pretty enjoyable. Most of the non-Christmas movies on Hallmark have a tendency to be kinda stale, but this one still have some magic left. I think this movie suffered from being released after the October to New Years binge. By January, your wholesome meter is filled and you just can't take it anymore.
Don't get me wrong, I don't love Dean Cain at all, but if you pretend he's someone else, it's fine.
My favorite aspect of the movie really was the layer plot lines. I appreciate that Hallmark is trusting the audience to handle more than one story happening. This one had the former teammates verses each other, the love story between Buffy and Superman, and the father and daughter making time for each other. I also love skiing and hot cocoa so that's a bonus here.
I'd be happy to watch this again next year and the next year and the next year, then maybe skip and year or two and come back after that for infinity.