fast-giga Reviews

Venom (2018)

Overall ok, problem is the boring back story of our hero

[6/10 · 2 December 2018]

Every movie needs some form of introduction into the good guys, bad guys and their life. Thats ok, the problem is that this movie spends way too much time on the boring run-of-the-mill back story. The movie is barely 2 hours long, and the first 30-40 mins could've been focused into a 10 minute introduction.

I would've loved to see more action of venom, his powers and conflict with human morale make this movie good, but there is just too little of the good stuff and too much of the boring stuff. In one fight you just see venom pushing bad guys arround like toys...over and over again. They should've tried for more interesting and unique ways to show his power then brute strength over and over again.

Yes, the acting is good, Tom Hardy is great we know that. And he does make this movie ok, but the boring overlong introduction turn it from good to "meh".

Jack Ryan (2018–2023)

Good yes, but also very cheesy and cheap

[2/10 · 14 September 2018]

The start is quite promising and it doesn't take long before the going gets tough but it also doesn't take long before nearly every cheesy American movie cliche gets abused.

The acting is quite good, the overall cinematography as well. The story is good and the mixture between fast and slow scenes is really interesting. I personally could go with a little less family drama, but I guess there needs to be something for everbody. I mean, can you really make a movie / tv show without romance side plot? Yes sure you can, but nobody does it because of reasons.

The action is not realistic as often claimed by using the "Tom Clancy" franchise, but similar to other products of this franchise plays out like Rambo. Even the new seal team six tv show is more realistic and less patriotic.

All other nations, inducing the French are portrayed as uneducated unskilled primitives, the USA as the holy land of milk and honey. Moslems as generic bad guys who abuse their woman and children.

They do try to hide the absurdly high frequency of pro-american cliches by trying to integrate contra-american cliches at the same time. But making every character behaving stupidly is not a method to show that all are treated equally, its just lazy and bad writing.

The good guys are portrayed with the same low-level cliches as the bad guys, the grumpy boss, the heroic, smart super soldier/analyst.

Its just soooo cheesy.

Justice League (2017)

Deus ex Machina

[3/10 · 23 December 2017]

The mere existence of superman obliterates every sense of atmosphere, story, fun, entertainment, tension, suspense and humour. It's like the authors designed the movie to be as aweful as possible.

In the beginning the author and director asked themselves: How can we destroy every possible sense the audience might experience in one big finale.

Not just destroying the story itself, but also destroying every possible idea one might have about what a story can represent. A story can represent humour, it can represent the fight between good and evil, it can represent fear, it can represent hope. And superman as the ultimate Deus ex Machina destroys all of it in an instant. What started as a interesting new approach on the typical Superhero-movie turns south towards the worst possible representation of what of Superhero-movies in the last decades.

Human Target (2010–2011)

season 1 8/10, season 2 0/10

[5/10 · 6 October 2017]

This TV show is cut in half like no other. It wasn't very successful in the first season, so they changed all which was good and replaced it with absolute crap.

The first season is really good. Interesting characters, interesting, to some degree even unpredictable stories. Good action, and a very healthy mixture of humor and action. Not too funny to be ridicules and not to try-hard serious at the same time.

The 2nd season is unwatchable. Every single scene with the Ilsa character induces brain bleeding and the certain wish of their cruelsome death. Its the same every single time: Team does something scary, dangerous or illegal Ilsa: 'Oh no, you cant to that, thats scary/dangerous/illegal.' One of the team: 'But this is the only way, because of reasons.' Ilsa: 'Oh. OK, I still don't like it, this is the last time you do such scary/dangerous/illegal thing.' 5 mins later, repeat.

Many TV shows undergo a certain amount of changes to find the perfect mixture, which is understandable. The producers of this one just wanted to skip such a lengthy process and instead of taking small steps to see how it turns out they changed the very fundamentals of the series from one moment to the next.

I would've wished for another seasons like the first one, but after the 2nd I'm glad is over.

Baby Driver (2017)

artistic value for the sole purpose of artistry is of no use

[2/10 · 14 September 2017]

The movie is one of the most hyped movies of 2017. It promises interesting characters, driving action, and most importantly something new compared to the average AAA Hollywood productions. While it is definitively true that the movie is different...that in itself is not enough to make it good, or even to be interesting. And truth be told, it is neither. Edgar Wright tries soooo hard to be unique for the purpose of being unique that he forgets that other things like Story are important too. It feels like Edgar Wright believes he is above the need for such petty things as a coherent story, logical behaviors or, god forbid, unpredictable twists.

Music: Yes, the soundtrack of the movie is good, really good. It's like a two hour long mix-tape. But that's something you can find on spotify. Having moving pictures only as a background for good music sees rather unnecessary.

Driving/action: Well, the driving is slightly more realistic than Fast&Furious franchise. But it is also quite boring. I would recommend the first 2 Transporter movies instead. In fact, the driving feels too artificial. Like, after the director started shooting the movie he found out that it NEEDs to include driving scenes because the name of the movie says so. And then he just put them into the movie without any concept to them. On the one hand Baby is supposed to be a really good driver...on the other hand most things look like plain luck.

Acting: OK, THAT is one plus point of the movie. The acting is really good, from all actors.

===Spoiler=== Story: Basically the movie changes direction when the group of thugs enters the dinner of Baby's girlfriend. He wants to stop them, but fails. The reason for his failure to stop them is a plot whole. Which is especially annoying since it is the ONE important decision. He wants to separate his personal from his thug life, so when they ask him why they shouldn't go into the dinner he doesn't want to tell them that is girlfriend works there. Which is obviously smart, but they don't accept his 'excuse' of the food tastes terrible there. The simple solution to this problem would be to simple tell them that he has been there before, and he doesn't want to be seen there during a job. That's it. No additional explanation needed. He could just keep on driving and that's it. Crises averted. Story failed. ===Spoiler end ===

The movie just offers nothing of worth except its uniqueness and artistic value for the use of music. Quite often are the scenes perfectly aligned with the beat of the music. Great, get the guy who did the editing a price for his craftsmanship. Buts that's it. Story, Action, Driving is a 0/10

Power Rangers (2017)

Without fault of the main characters, the movie is just terrible

[2/10 · 17 June 2017]

"Just because you do bad things, doesn't mean you are a bad person" That is one of the core slogans of the movie, said by the main character, and reused with different wording throughout the movie several times.

Of course that's utter bullshit. Just like the rest of the movie.

Its a shame, because the acting of the young-ish actors is good, the effects are OK, its just a terrible script and a terrible message the movie makes.

"Just because everything in this movie sucks, doesn't mean its a bad movie." That's the story the movie tries to tell, of course that's utter bullshit as well...

American Gods (2017–2021)

A TV show which is only understandable if you know whats going to happen

[1/10 · 11 May 2017]

It's simple: According to most reviews the show is good if you read the book. The problem is, if a TV show is only good if you know what is going to happen, then why watch it in the first place? The first 2 episodes have been released so far, and its just useless. There are a lot of hints, but nothing is actually happening. Just a big waste of time.

Maybe the TV show is enjoyable after every episode has been released..but again, the journey is the reward..and this journey is just terrible, pointless and ridiculous.

The creators tried soooo hard to create a mysterious and thrilling world....it became so mysterious that you fall asleep, and so trilling that you don't want to wake up.

Iron Fist (2017–2018)

Worst of all Defender introduction shows

[2/10 · 18 March 2017]

If you are honest with yourself you will read these pages of user reviews and see that the people who watched and rated this show are separated into people who love it and people who hate it. There seems to be no middle ground.

It is possible that some love it because they are paid to do that, it possible that some hate it because they like DC more.

I personally loved all the other Defender introduction shows. I rated daredevil a 8, Jessica Jones a 5 and Luke Cage a 6. No matter if you agree to these ratings or not, in relation to these other Defender characters I have to give this show 2 points at max. It is by far the worst of all Marvel products.

It fails in most categories: The fighting is boring and badly choreographed. The main actor can not fight, it's as simple as that, and he doesn't look like a fighter. Compared to Daredevil this fighting style is just boring. I expected some awesome martial arts, this is just a sleeping pill with a huge amount of cuts during a fight.

The story is incredible predictable and utilizes every 'idea' which was outdated 50 years ago. Its like the creators asked: 'What are old and generally known things everybody is bored of?' And then they put them all into one show. If you are a student of movie making this TV show can act as a bibliography of prejudices, lazy writing and a Don't-do-these-100-mistakes.

London Has Fallen (2016)

Overall good action, but interrupted by too much stupid "storyline"

[6/10 · 7 May 2016]

It is a simple movie. There is some good action, and in some scenes even awesome action. Especially towards the end are some quite long shootouts without cuts delivering a very intense entertainment.

And of course the movie is filled with cheese one-liners and US propaganda. Thats OK, nobody expected anything else. However the movie takes itself too serious. Of course the story is stupid, of course the acting isn't the best. That is OK, its mindless, popcorn action cinema. But the creators of this movie actually seem to think they have the duty to deliver a message. They seem to actually believe this movie needs to tell a story...they couldn't be further away from the truth.

The story this movie tells is simple: The US kill hundreds of innocent people, barkeepers, waiters, cooks, women and children. They are the good guys.

The bad guys survive and kill hundreds of innocent people as revenge. They are purely evil.

The bad guys escape, and the US kills hundreds of innocent people as revenge. They are still the good guys.

Who believes that s***? Why even bother telling a story? The bad guys don't need a backstory. Delete all scenes before and after London and you have an awesome popcorn action movie. The scenes before and after London are a punch into the face of every human with an intelligence level of a brick or higher.

Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016)

Not even close to the 2nd or even 1st one

[6/10 · 27 February 2016]

The story is identical to the second one, they just used fewer jokes. Again its about Po needing to figure out who he really is and that all his powers come from within and from his friends. While the first and second movies were also great for adults, this one is only for children. Even for adults who like most animation movies this movie just feels stupid. They should have stopped after the second one and let the franchise die with dignity.

Overall you might find a handful of laughs and some *exhale-heavily-thru- the-nose*. Most of the jokes have been recycled from 1 and 2, especially the fat panda jokes.

I admit the bad guy is better than the bad guys in part one and two, yet he has to few lines to actually matter.

Sicario (2015)

No action, no story, good acting, nice camera shots, dramatic music without drama

[1/10 · 24 December 2015]

This is not an action movie, despite what the trailer suggested. However, even if you think of it as an drama-thriller type of movie you will be disappointed. Overall the movie makes no sense at all. The story is stupid and has no depth whatsoever to it. Despite some great scenes without cuts and good acting by some people this movie has nothing to offer. In my humble opinion good craftsmanship alone does not make a movie.

The character Emily Blunt plays is completely irrelevant in this movie. The role of this character could've been played by a manikin. Blunts acting is okish, but is ridiculed by the script. She has no influence on the story, just like the first Indiana Jones everything would've happened the way it did, even if Blunts character would not have existed in the first place. Instead of casting Blunt they should've went for a approach similar to "End of Watch".

The naivety of Blunts character is annoying to say the least, the story predictable without any twists.

The movie is perfect for people who watch it with an exact opinion about the US-Mexico drug trade derived problems and want to see their opinions endorsed.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

Triple A logic error popcorn cinema

[3/10 · 2 August 2014]

Captain America The Winter Soldier is supposed to be a AAA Hollywood movie. Apparently this means that it only needs explosions to be good. If you dare to demand a logical consistent story you will be unsatisfied. The acting is good, the explosions are just the same as in every other marvel movie. The story is very obvious and the supposedly surprising changes are foreseeable by a 10 year old. My biggest problem is the logical inconsistency. In the following a few examples: SPOILER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The propulsion of Director Furys car is destroyed by an explosion, and the damage is fixed by restarting the PC of the car. highly impossible no matter the technological level.

A broken wrist is healed by antibiotics, during a fighting scene. Even so this might be useful in the long term healing of the wrist, but during a gunfight it's probably not the most important thing to do.

Director Furys car has a stationary gun inside the vehicle. This gun safes the live of Fury, however it doesn't explain why it even exists. This gun can only be used to attack people inside the car, why is it stationary? This scenes shows that many gadgets the heroes used were designed by the writes exactly for this one scene, instead they should've tried to create gadgets which might be realistic, and then change the scenes so that the gadgets make a sense, not vice versa.

Fury escapes heavily injured through a hole in the ground. The bad guy super soldier is maybe 2 seconds behind him and doesn't hunt him down by following him into the hole. Why? He is faster, younger and healthier, why not try to follow him? Surely Fury wouldn't have been able to outrun him if the Winter solider would have tried.

The big airships have a very important PC core. This core is extremely important, still it is positioned at the bottom of the airship and protected by glass. They chose to position the most important part of the airship at the least defendable and least protected position. wtf? why?

Divergent (2014)

Brainbleeding intesifies

[1/10 · 23 July 2014]

Of course this movie is made for a very young female audience so I have problems to identify myself with the targeted audience. The good point about the movie is, that the heroine is not complelty depending on her male counterpart, so its none of the "girls-are-mentaly-and-physically-too-weak-to-exist-without-man" movies, but thats about it. If you want to watch something about strong female characters try the legend of Korra. The rest of this movie is terrible, especially the huge amount of brain bleeding inducing logic errors.

SPOILERS!!!!!!!!! For Soldiers knife throwing, jumping from trains and excessive hand-to-hand combat are the most important skills. As well as being complelty fearless...people throw knifes at you and you aren't allowed to be afraid? Yes, thats the stuff marines are made of. Being a soldier has nothing to do with endurence, guns, tactics and unimportant stuff like that real life soldiers train.

Being "divergent" not fitting into a faction is something rare...at least thats what the characters say...funny how the rarest thing turns out to be a majority.

The training officer sits at the same table as the rookies, but the rookies aren't allowed to talk to him? Yeah, makes sense.

A rookies says something stupid to a teacher...and they put in into the world wide newspaper...yeah, nothing else interesting happening.

Oh, I nearly forgot, the actual most important thing for a solider is house climbing. Know a soldier who hasn't climbed the empire state building? He's a noob.

These are just some of the terrible brain bleeding inducing logic errors in this movie. If you are a 8 year old girl you might be able to accept them, but for everybody else this movie isn't watchable.

Need for Speed (2014)

Damn terrible in every aspect

[2/10 · 16 July 2014]

Of course you shouldn't expect a good story in a movie with the name "Need for Speed", but given the fact that there are so many generic action / comedy movies out there you should still expect...well...something. The problem is, no matter what you expect, you will be disappointed.

The comedy is cheesy, but thankfully also rare. The conversations are blunt, but thankfully there are not much. The one-liners are frequent, but unfortunately very bad.

So far I haven't told you anything new, that's pretty much what I expected, the real problem is: The action is predictable.

It's not bad, without CGI some scenes even look good, but still, everything you see is predictalbe. And that kills every tension created by the terrible storyline.

The acting is good within the stupid story, but since the action is so predictable the whole movie is boring.

SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You remember the incredible way vin diesel stole fuel trucks in "fast and furious" to make a living? well, the hero of "need for speed" invented another new maneuver, complelty unknown to humankind before him, actually he invented a huge amount of incredible things, like: turning left turning left using the handbrake girls being afraid of heights the sentence: look into my eyes And many other things which got boring after watching movies from the 70s.

Gang Related (2014)

trying too hard

[2/10 · 2 July 2014]

The problem with "Gang Related" is, that it tries too hard to be a serious TV show. The storyline trys to mimic the move "The Departed", with cops, gangs and moles in the police department. The problem is that this story is paired with a die-hardish action sequences, good action, but unrealistic. Basically its like trying to release the godfather trilogy with action scenes from a Jackie Chan movie. Just because two things are good when they are separated doesn't mean they are good when you combine them.

Overall neither the storyline nor the action scenes are good, and combined both just don't fit to each other. My biggest problems are the action and story errors, here a couple of them: -HIV is claimed to be transmittable via touching. This is wrong, 50 years ago people infected with this terrible disease worked hard explaining to non-infected people that they are not a danger to the public. A tvshow in 2014 should be....more sensitive when it comes to such a topic.

-the cops know about a heist, they stop the heist and arrest 18 gang members, this is portrayed as a huge success. The fact that 3 civilians dead during this heist isn't mentioned. They could have saved 3 lifes, but they choose its better to kill 18 gang members than to save 3 innocents. wtf? nice work.

-the hero is investigated by internal affairs. He lied to them in his first report. The problem is his lies are terrible. He concealed that his partner was drunk at the moment he was killed, a thing which would have been detected at the autopsy (btw, it somehow wasn't detected). He lied about how much time passed between the first 3 shots at his partner and between the shot at him. He said 7 seconds while it was 58. It would have been no problem for him to say something like 30 seconds, no one would've cared.

Overall, all tension in this TV show is created by stupid mistakes by the main characters. But it still tries to be a story driven cop-gang-mole TV-show. It should've focused on one thing: action or story.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (2013–2020)

After 5 episodes the truth is revealed: SHIELD is evil

[9/10 · 23 October 2013]

I really enjoyed most recent Marvel movies and the idea of "agents of shield" is a good one. The problem is: In the movies shield is portrayed as a global resource-rich (money, manpower, skill, technology etc,) agency which helps humankind. In this TV show they talk about a different shield organization.

Here Shield has some form of ridiculous advanced technology but on the other hand lack standard technologies existing today in every household. The have no way to interact with local police, FBI, etc. units and are mostly on their own, even when they operate in the US. The strike team consits out of 3 very skilled persons without any modern gadgets like...tasers..or guns... Luckily the good guys (which means the bad guys as portrayed by this TV show) don't know that and attack mostly in closed quarter combat one buy one like in very old kung-fu movies. On the one hand shield can access every information on the world, but they can't make use local authorities, like blocking a road or using a swat team. But the biggest problem is:

Shield is evil.

No, seriously, SHIELD as portrayed in this TV show is basically al-Qaida times hundred. They hold slaves, they treat persons as objects, they have no sense for properties of individuals outside of SHIELD.

After 5 episodes I can't watch this TV show any more, it just trambles the good marvel movies underfoot.

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013)

Logic errors: The movie

[1/10 · 12 October 2013]

Some movie have one or two logic errors. This movie IS one big logic error.

I wasn't able to watch more then 1 h because of intensive brain bleeding but here we go: 1. Girl watches murder in a club no one else seems to see. So on the next day she goes to the club and asks the murderer what's up.

No of course going to the police would be weird but going to the guy who just murdered someone out of cold blood is not just weird but F****** stupid.

2. Mother phones girl that she should not come home but go to someone called Luke. Girl goes home anyway. So far thats alright, she is probably scared etc. Then she is home and gets attacked by a dog which transfers into a monster. She blows the dog/monster up, the monster heals itself nearly immediately but is then killed by the murdere from 1. Afterwards a neighbour/voodoo woman tells her that she would like to "read" her. But the girl tells the voodoo woman that she doesn't believe in stuff like that....after she blew up a dog-monster which was able to heal itself...arg....here the brain bleeding started for me.

I know I know....its just a movie....but is so terrible...i just can't stand it.

Stargate Universe (2009–2011)

90210: Stargate Edition

[1/10 · 11 October 2013]

Stagate Universe is a teen (meaning that the adults and the teens in this show act both stupid and illogical) drama television series about some random people, their personal problems and how they socialy interact with each other. That itself is nothing bad. But if you say to the writer of Rambo to write a episode for 90210....well...this is the result.

There are some good ideas and some interesting things happening, but 5 mins of Science fiction is covered it 35 min of bad written drama stuff.

To put it simple this is not Stargate. In fact it's no way near anything connected to the 3 films or the other two TV shows(not counting the animated one) expect some words like "stargate" or "energy shield" randomly said during a Sex and the City TV show. Normally all Scifi movies have one major futuristic part (like the battle between Sith and Jedi or between Humans and wraith or klingons or goauld) and than some social problems of the main heros topiced beside that (like Luke and vader or the question of a android called Data has the same rights as a human person), here its different.

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010)

Logic errors to the max

[1/10 · 4 August 2013]

I haven't read the book and watch this movie only on TV. I can't agree with all critics. There are many things about this movie which are not terrible. Its obviously a movie for children. The child actors are not extremely terrible and the effects are also not terrible, the famous actors play even acceptable...thats about it. The story and the behaviour of all characters is just ridiculous. If you really pay attention and don't shut of your brain completely you will experience logic flaws all over the movie. If you haven't heard anything about Greek mythology you may be able to overlook some of them.

All in all you can just say that the idea behind the story is really good, but the way this story is portrayed, how it evolves is just incredible stupid. I'm not talking about my personal opinion, I'm talking about logic errors everywhere.